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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

Celebrity Big Brother 2007

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Whisky Priestess

12:11 / 11.01.07

More of a con-artist, I reckon.

14:00 / 11.01.07

One way or the other, it's a difficult trick to pull off too often. There aren't that many red light areas in Britain, and I imagine you get a reputation for that kind of thing fairly quickly.

Jack The Bodiless

10:06 / 12.01.07

Yeah, I imagine you'd have to travel around quite a bit, so you'd find prospective punters who didn't know your face. Kind of like The Littlest Ho'(bo). ((C) Jack Dee 1999).

10:12 / 12.01.07

Sort of a friendly mugger then?

Not friendly enough, more like.

Whisky Priestess

10:46 / 12.01.07

Anyone else enjoy Cleo's massive overreaction to Jyacrbwk.gv's departure? Admittedly she explained that the BB House was now like their own little world, and people leaving was like somebody dying, but to tell Jade that JGHa.d435l/bcquiey was the MOST IMPORTANT person ANY of them had met IN THEIR LIVES was perhaps a little excessive.

Not to mention speaking on behalf of Carole, Dirk and Shilpa, who seemed less than devastated to see her go.

11:02 / 12.01.07

Truly she was the People's JPyrtbd&$.

11:59 / 12.01.07

I found last night's episode to be some rather fantastic comedy, actually. I was shouting (good natured) abuse at the telly all episode. My favourite bit was Cleo breaking down in the diary room and and talking about JackQWERTY as if she'd died. "well, I can only hope she's in a better place now..."

And yeah, refering to her as the most important person she'd ever met. I think Cleo either doesn't get out much or she has a memory dysfunction, where she can only remember the past 24 hours, like some kind of beautiful, charming goldfish, or particularly dim pigeon. Makes for good watching though.

12:02 / 12.01.07

Also, is BB dead on Barbelith? Or just this CBB? I must admit, I've probably lost about two thirds of my enthusiam for the BB project following last year's bore-a-thon. Is this the beginning of the end. I mean, even Ganesh, king of BB on barbelith thinks it's okay to leave the thread alone for days at a time, whereas last year, he was interrupting his holiday (or rather, the holiday was interrupting Big Brother) to post fripperies about the BB gang. Oh Ganesh, wherefore art thou? You're the best thing about my BB experience...

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:06 / 12.01.07

Looks like Leo has finally got out not only his cock, but the rest of him as well.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:16 / 12.01.07

Yeah, it's confirmed.

12:39 / 12.01.07

Also, is BB dead on Barbelith?

I wouldn't say so, assuming there's another BB this year I think we'll see another leviathan of a thread devoted to it. I never really watch the celebrity version, squirreling away my hatred and bile for the main show.

Perhaps if it lasted a bit longer. I think Z-listers should have to show the same endurance as "civilian" housemates (if not more).

That said, having The Faceman on there is a stroke of genius.

Whisky Priestess

12:40 / 12.01.07

Oh for God's sake, the whiny little twat, despite his "legions of fans", can't face a popularity contest with a has-been matinee idol and a hatchet-tongued hack? (No offence, Dirk and Carole)

When celebs win, don't they win money for charity, or is it for them? Maybe Leo's decided he's had enough exposure and (after his recent chart-topper) doesn't need the cash?

13:52 / 12.01.07

I'm pretty sure the money on this show is all lining the pockets of the celebs. You always hear big figures with loads of zeroes being bandied around at the start of the series, and that's just for an entrance fee.

And Leo is gone... ho hum, one less deluded fool to laugh at. Actually, hang on a sec, isn't that what we watch for? That and the eye candy surely. Nobody really wants witty, urbane celebs like face in there, do we? We just want freaks, like the dearly departed legion of Donny, Ken, JackQWERTY and Leo. Bring back the losers!

15:52 / 12.01.07

What a farce though. Either the producers just couldn't get more a appropriate set of contestants (as the lack of replacement housemates would tend to suggest, really,) or someone's badly miscalculated. And isn't it supposed to be going on for a month this year? In which case it's going to resemble a Sartre play quite shortly. I'd be surprised if the writing isn't on the wall for the whole CBB franchise now. Does anyone know what the ratings are like?

miss wonderstarr

18:14 / 12.01.07

3.5 million viewers last night, just over BBC2's "The Truth About Food", which featured at least two experiments involving human faeces.

miss wonderstarr

18:15 / 12.01.07

That's a drop from approximately 7.1m (peaking at 8m) on the launch night.

19:18 / 12.01.07

Oh, fucking pathetic. If one cannot handle being voted out, just leave. 'Tis the dynamic du jour. At least The Face is still there. Hopefully.

19:56 / 12.01.07

"I mean, even Ganesh, king of BB on barbelith thinks it's okay to leave the thread alone for days at a time, whereas last year, he was interrupting his holiday (or rather, the holiday was interrupting Big Brother) to post fripperies about the BB gang. Oh Ganesh, wherefore art thou? You're the best thing about my BB experience... "

John, I Agree

20:50 / 12.01.07

"Fripperies"?!

21:03 / 12.01.07

It's a word.

Isn't it?

21:04 / 12.01.07

An insufficient one for my gobbets of purest wisdom t'other year.

21:07 / 12.01.07

It's unsettling how easily the House 'others' Shilpa on the basis of not very much at all.

And J87rusty~$%^yvffw87 on BBBM is perhaps one of the irritatingest things ever.

21:10 / 12.01.07

Heck, it keeps me pressing 'Refresh' when I should be doing some work. Keep frippering away, that man!

Seriously though, are you a bit bummed out by the lackluster show this year too? It is odd for this thread to go one or two days without any posts at all, and we're only a week and a bit in. Are you just busy, or disillusioned as the rest of us (at least here in chez John)?

21:12 / 12.01.07

Well, I never really get as excited by the celebrity version anyway (last year being a partial exception) but this year's surprised me with its boringness. I feel quite Jaded (ho ho) by the lacklustre goings-on. Of course, I tend to be attuned to The Gays of Big Brother and this year's Gay is singularly unpreposessing.

So yeah, I'm distinctly meh about the whole thing at the moment.

21:16 / 12.01.07

re: Shilpa, it really gets on my nerves too as to where the hate has come from. Are the crowd watching the same show as me? All I've seen Shilpa doing is being kind, charming, reserved and preternaturally beautiful from any camera-angle, morning noon and night. Who would want to boo that?

Also, Jack called her a cunt the other night, I'm sure of it. They bleeped it, but Channel 4 only ever bleep cunt and motherfucker, so I reckon that's what it was. I was pretty shocked, what has she done to generate such intense hate? It's baffling.

21:20 / 12.01.07

She's not readily placeable within the British class system, so is seen as an unknown quantity - and becomes a focus for prejudiced stereotypes ('Indian princess', 'foreigners - not like us', etc.)

21:27 / 12.01.07

I don't know, she just comes across as very classy to me. I guess if you had to place her, she'd be in the upper ranks of the class system, in that weird semi-aristocracy you get with celebrities, especially film stars like she is. I suppose a spot of classism makes sense, especially coming from Jade and her family (although Jade is quite impressive these days, she really has grown up a lot it seems). Still, it's not on.

21:31 / 12.01.07

She threatens people because she's "classy" but not readily classifiable ie. she's some sort of foreign getting well above her station they stole Christmas donchaknow but y'can't say it nooo or the PC police will shoot you in the head. Etc.

22:11 / 12.01.07

Shilpa is very diplomatic. I just caught her telling Jade to leave the whiskey row to 'them' to sort out. She said it all very firmly. She basically said "Jade, shut up." But in a really polite way so that you wouldn't notice.

22:13 / 12.01.07

But in Big Brother, politeness and diplomacy = 'two-faced' and not 'straight-talking', and I worry that that whole skew, added to Shilpa's foreignness, will see her pilloried as an eeevil otherfigure.

22:27 / 12.01.07

Yes I think you're right. Of course there's also the fact that she's a/a proper superstar and b/absolutely beautiful to make for 'othering'. There's nothing like a bit of jealousy to fuel the nasty comments.

22:30 / 12.01.07

Indeed. And she doesn't even have the decency to live in a shack.

00:33 / 13.01.07

'If Shirpa isn't fucking well prepared to be accept the fact that she's bloody lucky to have been given the opportunity she's been given to be on English television (which is the best television in the world,) when genuinely English people would kill for the opportunity, and then expects to worshipped as a fucking princess or something just because she's, like, the fucking Madonna of the Ganja, or whatever - audiences of millions, you say, do you? Well maybe, but aren't there, like, fucking millions of rats in that part of the world, wherever it is? Not that I could point to it on a fucking map, or nothing! Nah-ha-ha-ha ... I'm a fucking caution, me ... But I hate myself! But I love myself! I'm just ... being myself!'

Basically, if this ongoing, terrible situation wasn't being shown live, I don't know if it would have been broadcast at all.

I particularly liked Jade's outburst about Face's alleged (by her) alcoholism; as if the (according to Jade) fact that The Face Man's now apparently putting away a bottle of scotch a night hasn't got anything to do with some of the honest, earthy, British characteristics on display here, courtesy of Leo, the Jaqueigfdster, Jade, Jack, and the complicit, broken, showbiz tiredness of 'H', Danielle and the other one.

On this showing, we're the scum of the earth really, aren't we?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:05 / 13.01.07

Carole Malone, so repugnant in print you want to climb inside the page and vomit ink down her eye sockets, is merely tedious onscreen.

Brooker comes up with the goods again.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:43 / 13.01.07

A BB-hating friend of mine remarked to me the other day "so, let me get this straight... you're in love with Cleo Rocos, you hate Leo Sayer and you think Dirk Benedict is the coolest man alive. Wow, the last twenty-five years really didn't happen at all for you, did they?"

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