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			"Yeah, that's it, I'm the 25th most influential person in the world". 
 
How? By whose reckoning? Who the fuck compiled this list? What on earth would it look like? 
 
Here, off the top of my head, is a list of twenty-five people I consider in the running to be in a list of the most influential people in the world, in a rough-and-ready order: 
 
1)Nelson Mandela 
2)Kofi Annan 
3)Desmond Tutu 
4)Bill Clinton 
5)George W. Bush 
6)Al Gore 
7)Tony Blair 
8) Colonel Moammar Khadaffi 
9)Mahmoud Ahmedinejad 
10)Kim Jong-il  
11)Osama bin Laden 
12) Mahmoud Abbas 
13) Hugo Chavez 
14) Bill Gates 
15) Dominique Villepin 
16) Vladimir Putin 
17) Boris Berezovsky 
18) Hu Jintao 
19) Pervez Musharraf 
20) (Do we have to?) (Yes, it's him or Bono) (Oh well) Bob Geldof 
21) Robert Mugabe 
22) Peter Tatchell 
23) Rupert Murdoch 
24) Donald Trump 
25) Junichiro Koizumi  
 
I have Junichiro Koizumi at 25, and he isn't even still the Japanese PM (though TBH I only used Koizumi 'cause I can't remember the name of his successor). Now, where Jade fits in on this list: 
 
11,735) Alan Sugar 
11,736) Apple Martin 
11,737) The one behind the keyboards in the Pet Shop Boys 
11,738) Vincent Kennedy Mcmahon (dammit) 
11,739) Louis Theroux 
11,740) Grunt Monsoon 
11,741) This so-called 'Haus', whoever he is 
11,742) Huw Edwards 
11,743) The Belgians 
11,744) (tie) Jade Goody/ Ai the Chimpanzee 
 
Ai the Chimpanzee, btw, is a chimp who has been taught to count by Japanese scientists. One day, many psychologists feel, training may be brought to bear to allow Jade to replicate this feat.			 |   
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