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Celebrity Big Brother 2007

 
  

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ONLY NICE THINGS
00:44 / 07.01.07
Kiss.

My.

Arse.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
00:44 / 07.01.07
I've been farting as well, in here. Very loudly.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
00:44 / 07.01.07
Cleo's awake again!

Leo doesn't want to hurt his public. OF COURSE.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
00:44 / 07.01.07
Hard.

On.
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
00:44 / 07.01.07
Now he's boasting about farting and NO KEEP YOUR OLD MAN IN HIS HOUSE SAYER
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
00:46 / 07.01.07
Oh, I see, he isn't allowed to go to sleep.

Still, he's a penis.
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
00:47 / 07.01.07
Yes. Yes he is.
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
00:50 / 07.01.07
Right. I'm allowed to go to bed, so I'm gonna. Night, lads.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
00:51 / 07.01.07
I can't actually deal with this anymore. It's like watching the last minutes of Charles Whitman before he went up the tower, or Charlie Starkweather putting the keys in the ignition. I'm sleeping.

Both Cleo and Dirk have been really cool, though.

As you'd expect.
 
 
Triplets
09:00 / 07.01.07
(See, when someone said the Goodies were going in, I thought etc...)

I would far prefer the Goonies. Sit back, gentle viewer, and dream.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
10:42 / 07.01.07
Shit.

If Jgacqueeyei manages to force Ken out I'll be really upset.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
11:07 / 07.01.07
And now they're bringing her fucking grandparents in.
 
 
Ganesh
11:18 / 07.01.07
'Shoopa... Princess... Nish...'

It's all terribly hard to pronounce, innit? Especially if you're Marjorie Dawes.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
11:21 / 07.01.07
Jade's just gone postal at Ken because he decided to save the servants a job by getting himself some cheese and biscuits, which she thinks will lose the task for the others.

He has, of course, reacted in a very dignified manner. But I'm scared he's gonna walk out.
 
 
Triplets
12:30 / 07.01.07
Cleo is "fitt!" for a grandma.
 
 
Ganesh
12:49 / 07.01.07
Apparently Ken has just walked. It's starting to look like bringing in Jade's family (especially Jackieeaaeyyy) on the celeb/servant basis was something of a mistake...
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:55 / 07.01.07
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
The Falcon
12:59 / 07.01.07
Something of. I imagine dealing with the Goody mob whilst retaining composure is the mental equivalent of trying to get clean swimming in an algae-filled lake.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
15:44 / 07.01.07
Oh well, it's at least quite pleasant to imagine the bollocking someone at Endemol's going to getting for this fiasco. Roll on the Goody grandparents!
 
 
penitentvandal
15:49 / 07.01.07
IT'S LATE, YOU'RE TIRED, AND YOU'RE FUCKING SHOWING OFF, MOTHERFUCKER!!! GO TO YOUR FUCKING ROOM!!!

But that's Leo's problem, you see. Sometimes he's just too entertaining.

Really annoyed at Ken having to leave because he got sick of the Beagle. I reckon Jackieeeayyaayyyyaaauuuuuuyyy and Jade probably haven't liked him since going in and the whole 'posh voice = servants' misunderstanding. Cunning of Jade to have a go at him 'on behalf of the others,' though. I've often thought being passive-aggressive is a great way of compensating for one's intellectual shortcomings.
 
 
penitentvandal
19:01 / 07.01.07
Just watched the highlight show - featuring Jackiey telling Shilpa 'I can't understand your language' (she was, er, speaking English...) and then promising not to talk to her 'if I can't talk more properer.'

Hello...Henry? Henry Higgins? Have I got a job for you...
 
 
■
11:15 / 08.01.07
Fuck that, this is a job for Patrick Bateman.
 
 
h1ppychick
11:49 / 08.01.07
I've given up on this already. I can't face an hour a day of this torture.
 
 
Jub
16:58 / 08.01.07
I think Shilpa ROCKS.

Her telling Jade how to pronounce influential after her abortive attempts - "I'm the 35th most infilen, um, infil, er, infilen... ~um?"
"Influential?"
"Yeah, that's it, I'm the 25th most influential person in the world".

... but more than that, telling Jackie she doesn't need to understand the word Shilpa to pronounce it correctly.
"You don't need to understand it, it's a word not a fucking sentence".

Brilliant; there's something truly gratifying about watching someone who's native tongue is not English clearly have such mastery of it compared to Jade and Jackie. I'm a little saddened too that both Jade and Jackie think that because they don't understand things, it excuses them their outrageously rude behaviuour.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
17:35 / 08.01.07
_And_ she does work for AIDS awareness and PETA. I think she may be the Barbelith candidate.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
17:36 / 08.01.07
Apart from Face. Obvs.
 
 
penitentvandal
20:03 / 08.01.07
"Yeah, that's it, I'm the 25th most influential person in the world".

How? By whose reckoning? Who the fuck compiled this list? What on earth would it look like?

Here, off the top of my head, is a list of twenty-five people I consider in the running to be in a list of the most influential people in the world, in a rough-and-ready order:

1)Nelson Mandela
2)Kofi Annan
3)Desmond Tutu
4)Bill Clinton
5)George W. Bush
6)Al Gore
7)Tony Blair
8) Colonel Moammar Khadaffi
9)Mahmoud Ahmedinejad
10)Kim Jong-il
11)Osama bin Laden
12) Mahmoud Abbas
13) Hugo Chavez
14) Bill Gates
15) Dominique Villepin
16) Vladimir Putin
17) Boris Berezovsky
18) Hu Jintao
19) Pervez Musharraf
20) (Do we have to?) (Yes, it's him or Bono) (Oh well) Bob Geldof
21) Robert Mugabe
22) Peter Tatchell
23) Rupert Murdoch
24) Donald Trump
25) Junichiro Koizumi

I have Junichiro Koizumi at 25, and he isn't even still the Japanese PM (though TBH I only used Koizumi 'cause I can't remember the name of his successor). Now, where Jade fits in on this list:

11,735) Alan Sugar
11,736) Apple Martin
11,737) The one behind the keyboards in the Pet Shop Boys
11,738) Vincent Kennedy Mcmahon (dammit)
11,739) Louis Theroux
11,740) Grunt Monsoon
11,741) This so-called 'Haus', whoever he is
11,742) Huw Edwards
11,743) The Belgians
11,744) (tie) Jade Goody/ Ai the Chimpanzee

Ai the Chimpanzee, btw, is a chimp who has been taught to count by Japanese scientists. One day, many psychologists feel, training may be brought to bear to allow Jade to replicate this feat.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
21:01 / 08.01.07
You have to admit that Ai the Chimpanzee's kebab is a bit of a let down though.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
22:38 / 08.01.07
Dirk has to stop talking to him, doesn't he? Those funny Japanese voices. It's a bit like watching a couple of stoned second year students who ... actually, to hell with this.
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
10:29 / 09.01.07
So apparently Jackiauieuy has moved from pretending she can't understand Shilpa's accent, to pretending she can't pronounce Shilpa's name (she's corrected herself halfway through pronouncing it correctly - "Shilp - I mean shroompy" - enough times for it to be obvious she's faking it), to referring to her as "that Indian" or just "Indian" behind her back.

Lovely. I take back any nasty remark I ever made about Jade. Watching this, it's astonishing she's not turned out to be a crackwhore.
 
 
GogMickGog
11:43 / 09.01.07
Um, didn't she have a history of drug addiction? I seem to remember something in the tabloids (fount of all truth, I know)...
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:55 / 09.01.07
Hellbunny- please don't get emboriled in the Digital Spy argument on whether Jacqkeyi calling Shilpa "that Indian" is racist or not... it has a way of sapping one's will to live.
 
 
penitentvandal
20:21 / 09.01.07
What gets me is the number of freakshows ringing in to CBBBM defending Jackieeeyauyauyauyau, saying 'she's just working class' and 'she speaks her mind' and even (though this was the host of Loose Women, mind you, so therefore inadmissible as evidence of non-cackling-based thought) 'a true big brother underdog'.

Being working class does not excuse racism. 'Speaking your mind' is not an acceptable defence. And I can only hope and pray like St Anthony in the desert that the day will come when being racist will make you 'an underdog'.

At this rate Nick Griffin must be filling in his CBB 2008 application form even as we speak.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
22:20 / 09.01.07
I'm impressed that this is now so excruciating that not even Ganesh appears to be able to watch it.
 
 
Ganesh
22:28 / 09.01.07
You're impressed?
 
  

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