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Celebrity Big Brother 2007

 
  

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Triplets
13:42 / 13.01.07
You then made a flamethrower from a tube of toothpaste, a broken television and a flute and set him alight, right?
 
 
miss wonderstarr
16:12 / 13.01.07
That's an interesting... trivia thing. Charlie Brooker points out that Jo O'Meara resembles the new Starbuck, and of course Dirk Benedict looks like the old Starbuck.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
17:35 / 13.01.07
H's hair - is that a weave, do we think?
 
 
Ganesh
18:14 / 13.01.07
No, because he's proud of who he is.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
18:26 / 13.01.07
Of course he is, of course he is. I just wonder if he didn't perhaps bravely declare his sexuality before showing up on CBB as a means of diverting the GBP's attention from what's looking more and more like a syrup, really.
 
 
Ganesh
18:50 / 13.01.07
He abandoned the beard to cover the wig?
 
 
penitentvandal
18:54 / 13.01.07
'If Shirpa isn't fucking well prepared to be accept the fact that she's bloody lucky to have been given the opportunity she's been given to be on English television (which is the best television in the world,) when genuinely English people would kill for the opportunity, and then expects to worshipped as a fucking princess or something just because she's, like, the fucking Madonna of the Ganja, or whatever - audiences of millions, you say, do you? Well maybe, but aren't there, like, fucking millions of rats in that part of the world, wherever it is? Not that I could point to it on a fucking map, or nothing! Nah-ha-ha-ha ... I'm a fucking caution, me ... But I hate myself! But I love myself! I'm just ... being myself!'

Did Jack110010101110011001000-uttini!-XXXXXXXcYYyyyyyyyyy actually emit these words from her mouth? In which case, two questions:

1) Does anyone know where Jakkkduppity lives?

2) Does anyone have the materials for building a full-size Wicker Man?
 
 
penitentvandal
19:27 / 13.01.07
Leo escapes wearing a black shirt and black leather jacket.

He's just like TEH PRISONER!

Well, if the Prisoner was an annoying midget who spent all his time shouting 'fuck off!' at people.
 
 
Ganesh
19:31 / 13.01.07
An obnoxious little cunt.

Meanwhile, for those who missed it, Jack proves that, while quiet, he doesn't lack spunk.
 
 
enrieb
19:57 / 13.01.07
It's hard to believe that the goodies would not be aware of the fact that the cameras can in the dark. Luckly, I did not get to see this live but after just watching the link on youtube it seemed to me that it was staged for publicity knowing full well that it would be seen by the cameras. I seem to remeber Jade doing something similar with PJ in a past BB life.

Unless the youtube video has been edited, Spunkgate begins 18 seconds into the link and ends 10 seconds later, Hmm well I suppose these days with our short atteniton spans in the 24hr rolling news multimedia its all about sound bites .
 
 
Alex's Grandma
23:19 / 13.01.07
Yes, but you see Jade's grown as a person because she now neither a)initiates the upsetting proceedings, nor b)swallow their issue live on national television. At least so far anyway.
 
 
Triplets
00:54 / 14.01.07
I think it's clear, from the crowd's reaction and my own oh-no-bite-through-the-fist cringing, that we, as a nation!, are really not ready for telesext.
 
 
Ganesh
11:28 / 14.01.07
Chuck another non-het on the fire, won't you?
 
 
Whisky Priestess
13:14 / 14.01.07
I don't think one can accuse Lauren of having any sort of sexuality, from what I've seen of her.

Although she is stunningly, stunningly bad at karaoke, which could be fun if they have a sing-off.

And why with her mother, for Christ's sake? Do they hope to replicate a Jackiey meltdown?
 
 
Twice
13:17 / 14.01.07
Ug. Please, no.
 
 
Ganesh
15:25 / 14.01.07
Beat on the brat...
 
 
Triplets
17:00 / 14.01.07
I don't think one can accuse Lauren of having any sort of sexuality

Truth. Though that in itself is non-het.

Looking forward to bad bad kareoke.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
19:12 / 14.01.07
Does anyone else have a new opinion of Dave Gorman after he called a racist a racist on Big Brother's Little Brother, and then got quite cross when Dermot (oh dear, Dermotpaws) did the usual "oh well, I don't know about that, all in fun, big characters" nonsense?
 
 
Ganesh
19:18 / 14.01.07
Didn't see it, but I've always tended to feel fairly benign about Dave Gorman anyway, so I doubt I'd have to revise my opinion of him much, no.
 
 
penitentvandal
20:07 / 14.01.07
Yeah, I changed my opinion from thinking of him as a quite funny man to thinking of him as quite possibly being the LAST DECENT MAN in showbiz, from the way people on BB's various franchises have been falling over themselves to defend Jackiey's fucking outbursts. Respect!
 
 
miss wonderstarr
20:07 / 14.01.07
It did seriously annoy me to see Dermot, whom I've always thought was a decent guy, desperately playing down guests' observations that Jackiey was racist towards Shilpa. It's as though he feels some misplaced professional obligation to protect the show ~ some corporate loyalty.

However, the tribute band task is possibly the best thing I've ever seen on Big Brother. Since this year's celeb show began, with at least four professional singers (Jo, H, Leo, Jermaine), a professional dancer and, scraping the barrel, a "punk" "shouter", I've wanted to see them actually displaying their talents. I mean, it's a surreal supergroup situation. Leo Sayer and Jermaine Jackson! However twattish the former turned out to be, that's a fairly titanic team-up.

Above all, it was glorious to see some of these people, who don't necessarily come across as sparkling or stunning as people, displaying their actual talents; finally showing what they can do that makes them stand out a little. To see Jermaine grinning as he perfectly duplicated a routine he worked out with his brothers in the 1970s; and Jo from S Club effortlessly, of course, picking up a dance from Steps, and looking for the first time like a superheroine, a starlet; and H seeming good and special at something for the first time in the house... and all this, dreamlike, backed by Jade, an A-Team star and a Bollywood dancer... it's the closest Big Brother has come, for me, to what you people used to call "joycore".
 
 
Ganesh
20:11 / 14.01.07
It's as though he feels some misplaced professional obligation to protect the show ~ some corporate loyalty.

I suspect there's not a little self-interest in there. Like Davina, Dermot doesn't seem to be getting a huge amount of non-BB work...
 
 
penitentvandal
20:15 / 14.01.07
Do what? For me it was the moment we learned that H was clearly not hired by Steps for his singing. Or his dancing. Or his hair. And Jade's singing - no wonder they wouldn't let her do Mariah Carey on Stars in their Eyes.

Simon Donald is on BB and giving some stick to Danielle re. the Shilpa-hate. Well done sir, you are a credit to the North East!

It annoys me when Russ does his 'ooh, isn't it all funny, ooh, Tiananmen Square Modern day Lady Di routine whenever the audience start to hoot like a bunch of racist monkeys, rather than telling them to STFU. I'd like to see him handle a class of rowdy year eights for an hour.
 
 
Ganesh
20:18 / 14.01.07
I agree with La Wonderstarr that, if nothing else, HfromSteps seemed like a genuinely nice person in his interactions with Jack.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
20:49 / 14.01.07
Well, Velvetvandal... you're a tougher customer than me. I was caught between laughing and weeping, both in a very good way, at the pure pop glory of those ten minutes. Since then I've been admiring the space-age air hostess outfits on the cover of Deeper Shade of Blue, and refreshing my cheesy pop memories (I'd entirely forgotten somehow that Rachel Stevens and Jo used to be bandmates).
 
 
Alex's Grandma
21:22 / 14.01.07
I bet Jo has too - that must go over quite badly at whatever BNP meetings she's (presumably) attending on the quiet these days.
 
 
Ganesh
21:35 / 14.01.07
Jocore.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
22:21 / 14.01.07
Does anyone else have a new opinion of Dave Gorman after he called a racist a racist on Big Brother's Little Brother, and then got quite cross when Dermot (oh dear, Dermotpaws) did the usual "oh well, I don't know about that, all in fun, big characters" nonsense?

Had a similar experience with Russell Brand the other night after watching one of those Re-Branded shows where he hangs out with the leader of the youth wing of the BNP for a few days, and eventually just gets exasperated with being polite and starts telling him "look, you're full of shit". It was one of those "credit where credit's due" moments.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
22:48 / 14.01.07
He's a good stand-up too, Russell B - I say that as someone who'd normally rather take Jade Goody out for a candlelit dinner at one of Gordon Ramsay's restaurants, and then back to the hotel, than watch live comedy.
 
 
Ganesh
23:30 / 14.01.07
He's a good stand-up too, Russell B

I suspect Brand's stand-up is dependent on a particular type of audience interaction. We saw him before last year's Big Brother (when he was just launching his skinny, scarf-swinging Dickensian rake look) at Duckie. He'd apparently been persuaded there by Amy Lame and was clearly out of his element - or felt he was. His actual spiel wasn't bad - it was actually quite an interesting account of the time he'd tossed off a beary bloke in the toilets of the King's Arms as a sort of experiment in theoretical bisexuality - but he seemed unsure of the (pretty much) all-gay crowd. I think he made the assumption that 'gay' = '1980s Communardsesque political correctness gone maaad' and worked on the premise that the audience was faintly shocked/disapproving of certain jokes - when, in fact, we were generally going with him.

By the end of his routine he seemed to be starting to hit his stride but it all seemed something of a wasted opportunity. He's probably too big now for a Duckie reappearance.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
23:48 / 14.01.07
I'd have thought so, yeah.

I did see his act upstairs in what's in many ways a fairly gastro pub - Sunday afternoon in there's the lifestyle editor of The Observer's wet dream, to a point. So he could have taunted the bourgeoisie, in principle, to his heart's content. And he pretty much did, on the basis that he was the edgiest character in the room, perhaps.

It's a bit silly, but I can see how he might not have hit his stride at Duckie, consequently.
 
 
Ganesh
23:53 / 14.01.07
Yeah. He didn't have that Edge Quotient and, in a room full of fat beardy blokes making eyes at other fat beardy blokes, his Totty Factor was also pretty low.

The Duckie audience is famously gentle and encouraging too, so he'd have to be going some to generate conflict. I don't think he needs audience conflict to be funny but, at that time, he seemed to think he did.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
17:58 / 15.01.07
DEAR GOD, I like H from Steps. Kill me. He's still a fucking wuss in not getting involved in the anti-Shilpa arguments, but at least he claims to feel bad about it.

Someobody wake me up. This must be a terrible dream.
 
 
Ganesh
18:33 / 15.01.07
Stoatie, you're suddenly like a stranger,
And you're leaving our love behind,
Of all the things I was ever planning for,
This was the last thing on my mind.
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
18:38 / 15.01.07
Channel 4's position: It's not racism, it's 'girly rivalry'.
 
  

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