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Celebrity Big Brother 2007

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Ganesh

11:12 / 22.12.06

Just saw the first television ad for the new one. Any guesses or inside info on this year's crop of shame-free Housemates seeking rehabilitation/redemption via the cathode ray toob? Failed indie comebacksters looking to 'do a Preston'? Hollyoaks lovelies looking for mirrors? Donald Rumsfeld looking for WMDs?

Who cares? Me!

Whisky Priestess

11:49 / 22.12.06

After Germaine Greer was persuaded to appear last year (was it?) nothing will surprise me. In fact, I confidently predict that, at some point in the future - maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon - Andrew Motion will appear on the show, ostensibly to "increase the visibility and accessibility of poetry" but in fact to grope the teenage children's TV presenters and Chantelle-a-likes.

And I'll probably find out he's a really nice bloke, shattering all my cherished illusions.

Sax

14:12 / 22.12.06

Hasselhoff?

James/Lauren Harries?

Shrug

14:13 / 22.12.06

Prospective participants in the popbitch mailout this week if anyone's bothered to check these things these days.

Sax

14:14 / 22.12.06

Also:

H off Steps?

K-Fed!?

Some page three girl ?!?

Shrug

14:49 / 22.12.06

Julie Goodyear, though, eh? EH?

Ganesh

21:08 / 22.12.06

The official site.

Bishop of Southwark?

Jawsus-son Starship

22:27 / 22.12.06

I LOVE GANESH!

WORDS CANNOT SAY WHAT THIS MEANS TO ME!

Whisky Priestess

22:47 / 22.12.06

I would love to see the Bishop of Southwark in a "shall I be the cat?" situation with any of the below:

Rabbi Lionel Blue
Abu Hamza
Any Cardinal of Rome
The Dalai Lama

Run out of major religions? Why not try:

Cheryl Tweedy
Andi Peters
Stan Collymore
Les Dennis

A line-up to die for, shurely?

Whisky Priestess

05:45 / 23.12.06

And on the subject of religious figures, the producers are apparently doing everything in their power to get Pete Doherty onto the show this year. But there's a problem with court dates and so forth, it seems.

It would be fabulous telly though - 'Pete, you can't come into the diary room ... No ... Look, I thought we'd discussed this with your agent ... There will be no more methadone until tomorrow morning, Pete ... No, don't do that to Samantha Fox ... Please don't ... Oh God ...'

Alex's Grandma

06:03 / 23.12.06

My dream line-up, of ten;

Dave Lee Travis
Julie Burchill
Martin Amis
Gracey from last year's BB proper - well she *is* a celeb for real now
Tony Parsons
Normski
Janet Street Porter
The Barefoot Doctor
Gary Glitter
Traci Lords

Ganesh

06:05 / 23.12.06

Those are okay line-ups, but we need at least one gay. There is nothin' like a gay, nothin' in the world. There is nothin' you can say that is anything like a gay.

The Falcon

08:18 / 23.12.06

I was very, very disappointed that Tommy Sheridan turned down £100k or whatever to hammer the final nails into leftwing party-politics miniscule credibility this year, brothers and sisters.

Very disappointed.

The Falcon

08:19 / 23.12.06

Nonetheless, I am very excited about this, but fear it cannot scale the heights of 06.

Ganesh

08:37 / 23.12.06

Nadine Baggott?

Alex's Grandma

09:33 / 23.12.06

To be honst Dr G, that list did seem a bit vanilla quite shortly after it was posted. I'm sort of ashamed of myself.

Janet Street Porter's a busted flush these days, and I'm not sure if anyone under the age of seventy (including Normski) knows who he really is, anymore.

So, instead of those two, how about Lindsey Dawn McKenzie and Julian Clary, if JC's career has gone far enough into free-fall yet? He strikes me as not having quite hit bottom at the moment (I'll get my coat), but then there's nothing like a performance on Celeb Big Brother to decide these things one way or the other.

Tommy Sheridan would be great though - are the allegations true? God only knows, but with enough Channel 4 lager inside him he might be inclined to spill the beans ...? As it were.

yawn - thing's buddy

14:36 / 23.12.06

last year's celeb big brother was the best BB show EVAH.

It won't be bettered.

It was kinda like X-Statix's tv cousin.

Triplets

07:21 / 25.12.06

Nothing was better than fe-curious George.

The Falcon

21:27 / 26.12.06

The Sheridan allegations are totally true, aye; my best pal worked with the Danish girl and told me months aforehand what Tommy done wi his tadger.

Peach Pie

11:01 / 27.12.06

This programme is really, really bad for telelvision. After you watch a series of it, even as you say you hope for good quality television in the future, your mind is secretly closing off to the possibility having been immersed in this drivel.

■

11:17 / 27.12.06

That's right. All reality television is destroying the quality of programming and it's all drivel and why can't we go back to the golden age of Den and Angie and the Black & White Minstrels and ZZZZzzzz.

Whether you like it or not, BB and its ilk do serve a useful function. For me, it wasn't the cat business that did George Galloway in it was the phrase "I wouldn't take that from a white man". You aren't going to hear him let that sort of thing slip anywhere else.

Peach Pie

11:38 / 27.12.06

bb, den and angie, black and white minstrels = all crap. but does the fact there has also been crap in the past mean we shouldn't speak out against the current batch of crap today?

bb did us a public service by outing galloway as insincere... really?

Ganesh

14:28 / 27.12.06

Could we start a separate thread for BB-related hand-wringing? Seriously? Not only is it repetitive, but it distracts from the celebrities doing funny things.

Certainly.

According to today's Star, Jade Goody is going to be airlifted into the house this Friday, like a beached whale being returned to its natural habitat. Bad enough in itself you might think, and you'd be right, but apparently on top of Jade and her benighted kebab, the GBP is going to be asked to put up with not just one but two of her fucking parents ...

Lama glama

15:03 / 02.01.07

And her boyfriend too. I've never watched any of the celebrity editions of BB, but Jade's family will probably tempt me to tune in, for the high quality family carnage.

Alex's Grandma

15:20 / 02.01.07

The boyfriend I don't have so much of a problem with (at least unless he attempts to mount Mount Jade live on camera, that is, in which case ... I have just done a small sick on the clothes,) but what are the chances of Jade's parents being as unwatchably loud, obnoxious and stupid as their daughter? I'm guessing they're quite high.

There's really no good reason for Endemol to be turning this into the Jade Goody show, and as a fairly loyal viewer in the past, I just think; what have any of us done to deserve it?

Whisky Priestess

15:38 / 02.01.07

From what I recall, her dad has spent a reasonable amount of time in prison, although I think it may have been for some sort of high-status crime such as armed robbery rather than GBH or burglary.

Fingers crossed it's her dad, and he gets twitchy about being sent back to "the big house" a la Viz's Big Vern. Although he can't possibly be more mental than previous years' contestants, celebrity and non-celebrity alike.

Ganesh

00:13 / 03.01.07

Isn't her mother a one-armed lesbian who recently underwent a Surgery Makeover style process on daytime telly? Or something?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

00:35 / 03.01.07

I would KILL. Actually KILL. With KILLING and everything. Right now. If as a result it meant they got Brian Sewell on.

Fuck. I'd do a lot of KILLING if that would be the end result.

A lot.

Regrettable Juvenilia

08:53 / 03.01.07

Whereas I'm rooting for K-Fed.

He can't root for himself, you know. Or so I hear.

Triplets

10:04 / 03.01.07

I see we haven't heard much from Sax Barnett. Getting ready to enter the house? Posters, you decide

Whisky Priestess

10:24 / 03.01.07

Isn't her mother a one-armed lesbian who recently underwent a Surgery Makeover style process on daytime telly? Or something?

Oh yes, you're right actually - Extreme Makeover. I caught the end of it a few months ago. Didn't notice the one arm though.

Ganesh

13:21 / 03.01.07

I think she only has the one functional arm. The other one's just there for symmetry.

Meanwhile, hold onto your trousers, ladies and (especially) gentlemen, as prospective CBB Housemate, H from Steps, makes the world slip slightly on its axis with the revelation that he is...

... a gay.

I'm still reeling.

Triplets

13:32 / 03.01.07

Shocking stuff, Ganesh.

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