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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

Celebrity Big Brother 2007

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ONLY NICE THINGS

22:36 / 09.01.07

And a bit scared. Is it really this bad, people? Is a racist non-celebrity bouncing around the walls screaming at people? Is Jermaine Jackson in Hell? Does anyoone want anything now except for it to end? Or is all thhe discussion going on at Digital Spy?

22:42 / 09.01.07

For me, it's sort of hit a boringness level that makes me kind of turn off - like very specific boringness note that only I (and several million viewers, apparently) can hear. It was on this evening and I couldn't really be bothered working up an emotion. I did register Dirk's Shilpa-flirting. That was nice.

Tryphena Absent

22:56 / 09.01.07

Erm, Velvet Vandal, I think you forgot to put me on your most influential list. If you consider it again you may find that somewhere after 12) Mahmoud Abbas comes 13) Year of the Pretentious Bitch and then 14) Hugo Chavez. Glad we could clear that up.

00:13 / 10.01.07

Yeah, Alex' assertion that the one consolation was the prospect of someone at Endemol getting the 'hairdrier treatment' is absolutely correct. I'm deliberately not watching because Jade Goody was bad enough the first time around, is the stupidest person I've ever heard speak - much stupider than most children I've met if not all, is famous actually for being really fucking stupid and her family - non-entity boyf notwithstanding - appear just as bad on the glimpse I've had. "The Indian" for fucksake? What a horror.

I was really looking forward to this, but really the only thing that could make it worthwhile will be if the Goodys get set on fire now.

00:17 / 10.01.07

I actually quite like Jade this time around. She's a lot more emotionally intelligent than I remember her, and her mother really puts her in context/perspective.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

00:24 / 10.01.07

Yes, I'm not finding Jade too bad at all. 'Tis just her monstrous mother.

00:46 / 10.01.07

'she speaks her mind'

Which still isn't a defense if one's mind is a shit-encrusted loo.

Tom Paine's Bones

05:36 / 10.01.07

The really depressing thing about this for me is that before they turned it into 'At Home With the Goodys', I actually thought this was one of the most interesting celebrity lineups yet.

06:49 / 10.01.07

Apparently Jade's Mum was a professional 'clipper' for ten or so years.

On a practical level, I don't know how you'd manage that at all - whatever profits were involved would presumably be eaten up pretty quickly by the travel expenses, even assuming you were the shy, retiring type, as opposed to the kind of character who can't avoid being themselves, whatever.

So I guess Jade's Mum's been on an interesting journey in her life. It's no doubt a fascinating story - the book's due out this summer - but on this showing, I can't help feeling bad for whoever it was that okayed the advance in the first place. They weren't, I suppose, to know that Jade's Mum was quite so unloveable at the time, but God knows, they must be feeling rather nervous and sad about it now.

Whisky Priestess

07:41 / 10.01.07

What's a clipper?

And: The really depressing thing about this for me is that before they turned it into 'At Home With the Goodys', I actually thought this was one of the most interesting celebrity lineups yet.

Totally. I loved the first three days, and then they started smearing my poor screen with essence of Jayquiey (and when it wasn't her it was Leo) and I can basically no longer bear to watch.

If they removed the Goodys I would be right back on it like a weasel up a trouserleg though. The rest of them are actually quite entertaining, but like Ken said, this year it's nonentity Big Brother and frankly I hate them all, the whole family. I think airlifting them in was the worst mistake of any CBB so far.

As we are voting to save this week, can I tentatively hope that EVERYONE in the "master class" who isn't the poller of the most votes will be kicked out? That should get rid of most of the irritants.

09:43 / 10.01.07

Same here (and with everyone at work). We were all quite excited at the prospect of the Face and Ken and Cleo having a bit of banter. Then in come the family of a woman I loathed first time round, who are even worse than she is, and my TV hasn't had such a rest for years. I can't be arsed.

Jack The Bodiless

10:21 / 10.01.07

I dunno. Preferred it last week without the Goodys, but while Jack is the anthropomorphic personification of magnolia, Jade and Jackio-eo-eo-eo! Eo! Eo! have caused plenty of nice rucks, and Leo's leaving his comfort zone has provoked some of the most astonishingly childish strops and lack of self-awareness I've ever seen on CBB. It's a shame Ken left, but I'm not missing him as much as I thought I would, and realistically Donny was probably going to bail as soon as it all got too boring/it all got too much like work/he ran out of fags or booze anyway.

Although Cleo and Facemaster 2000 are still my favourites (and apparently the bookies' favourites as well), I'm mainly watching to see the curly-headed child-man suffer now. My current favourite gobsmackingly deluded Leoism (GDL) is:

"I'm the only person in the house that knows I'm getting a good reaction out there," he explained. "I'm pushing them so close to throwing me out of the house, I've been doing it ever since I've been in here." (from DS:BB news, Day 8)

Followed closely by:

Leo also reflected on his recent return to the top of the charts with a reworking of 'Thunder In My Heart'. "A lot of that was because they loved Leo," he told Dirk. "Not just because it was a hot tune." (from DS:BB news, Day 7)

Not only horribly delunded and horribly narcissistic, but talking about himself in the third person. A triple threat!

10:37 / 10.01.07

He's doing a bit of a Jan Leeming, isn't he?

I'm really not understanding the lumping-in of Jade with her hellmother. As far as I can see, Jade's shown a commendable level of self-awareness and, as I say, emotional intelligence when dealing with others (I was actually with her in the spat with Ken). I quite like her this time around.

Jack The Bodiless

10:41 / 10.01.07

SHe's an awful lot more mature than she was last time, and I like the way she comes across so much more than in BB3 (witness her comments that she'd rather be a mum to her kids than a mum to her mum, something that BB£ and her subsequent notoriety and career helped her escape from in the first place).

But then she's spent the last four years or so in the public eye, on more TV shows, running successful and not-so-successful businesses, having two kids, plastic surgery... she's 25 instead of 20. I'd find it quite surprising if she hadn't changed.

10:51 / 10.01.07

Agreed, but not really my point.

11:24 / 10.01.07

She's lumped for me in as she's the reason the rest are there. I haven't watched enough (nor wanted to) to be able to make much of a distinction, I'm afraid.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:18 / 10.01.07

I'm with Ganesh on this- I still think bringing Jade in was a stupid idea, especially so early in the game when things were warming up nicely and there was no need for a gimmick, but I'm actually finding her to be okay. Thing is, I wanted to watch Ken.

And her mother is despicable, and not even in a "good television" way. Jack it's hard to form an opinion on.

I thought the grandparents were quite sweet though.

16:52 / 10.01.07

I'm still sorta enjoying it. The most satisfying bit is watching Leo fall apart; I didn't really like him from the start, and was unsure why, but now feel oddly vindicated.

17:38 / 10.01.07

I thought the grandparents were quite sweet though.

Do you think? I just feel, shit on them, the pair of them. Victor Frankenstein, in a fictional context admittedly, was hounded out of decent society for far less. If Jacqiyiey was the offspring of my womb, I like to think that I'd have no option but to plunge a sword into it live on national television, if it was outed as being in any way responsible for something like that.

19:22 / 10.01.07

I dunno, I can't agree with you there AG. I just feel sorry for them. Jade's dad seems like quite a charming fellow and, as unpalatable as it is, it sometimes occurs that good parents get saddled with bad children. I imagine the sexuality thing may have driven a wedge and from the looks of it Jackieyauyauyau-eeeyau-yayaya-eeyauyau-yauyauyau has probably made at least a few questionable choices in her life possibly as a result of said wedge. Basically, the sins of 'We Need to Talk About Jackie' can't, I think, be visited on the father.

(how weird is that? I, velvetvandal, actually thought someone else on a Big Brother thread was having a go unnecessarily!)

OTOH, I can't agree entirely with 'Nesh re.Ken v Jade. I think Jade certainly had a point but could probably have made it without screeching, especially having a go at Ken for being fat and old (mind you, 'twould appear Jade has some weight issues, given that her 'amazing weight loss regime' of recent fame turns out to have been a visit to a lipo-surgeon - and no-one hates a fatty more than someone newly-thin). I DO think Ken maybe went a bit hyper over it but he's clearly an excitable fellow and his blustering seems, I dunno, less aggressive than Jade's haranguing, even when he banged his hands on the table and screamed like a wee babby.

Basically, I think Jade had a point but approached the situation in too confrontational a manner. She still clearly has some growing up to do.

Erm, Velvet Vandal, I think you forgot to put me on your most influential list. If you consider it again you may find that somewhere after 12) Mahmoud Abbas comes 13) Year of the Pretentious Bitch and then 14) Hugo Chavez. Glad we could clear that up.

Duly noted.

19:38 / 10.01.07

Basically, I think Jade had a point but approached the situation in too confrontational a manner. She still clearly has some growing up to do.

Of course she has. Ken has some fiftysomething growing-up years on her, though, and if he'd merely said, "I just forgot", she'd have calmed down pretty quickly. Her concern was for the 'servants' who she felt would now go unfed; Ken, by adopting a "who cares, it's just a game" line stoked the situation. As it was, she was quick to find him and make up afterwards. When one sees where - who - she's come from, I think it's difficult not to give her credit for that.

19:39 / 10.01.07

Get to the dining table, you fucks!

19:44 / 10.01.07

True, 'Nesh; I just like to think if I had a disagreement with someone of Ken's years I would be a bit calmer about how I approached it. But, fair play for the apology.

Ah, Jackieyoyoyoooooo, 'what's a dimella?' Fantastic.

Ganesh, in your psychiatric opinion, is it possible that Jackie's motorcycle accident has resulted in some kind of acquired phonological dyslexia?

AAAAAAAAAAAND she's gone.

19:46 / 10.01.07

Ganesh, in your psychiatric opinion, is it possible that Jackie's motorcycle accident has resulted in some kind of acquired phonological dyslexia?

Possible, but I think it's probable that her fuckwittedness precedes this.

Where the fuck was Jack when his partner was crying her eyes out? He's useless.

19:46 / 10.01.07

what's a dimella

Less dyslexia, more wilful feigning of ignorance. "Dimella" doesn't even sound like "dilemma" so she must have consciously turned the sounds round. I bet she says "chimbley", too.

19:50 / 10.01.07

Byeieye Byieyeeyy Jackiayyeyeyayayayeeyyyy.

19:52 / 10.01.07

Possible, but I think it's probable that her fuckwittedness precedes this.

Is that a technical term? I haven't come across it yet in the literature.

Oh, Jesus, 'the Indian was jarrin' me big time.' If I was the guy who'd bought Jackieyabbadabbadoo's memoir rights I would be fellating the shotgun right now, then writing the advance fee out in my own blood as I lay dying.

19:53 / 10.01.07

I did like Jade's "some people would cut off their right or left arm to be in here".

19:54 / 10.01.07

Is that a technical term? I haven't come across it yet in the literature.

It's central to the fuckwiterature.

19:56 / 10.01.07

She's a nice girl, she doesn't discriminate between arms.

Apparently Jackiey couldn't get on with Ken because 'he was witty.' Well, what an interesting reason to dislike someone - wit. As opposed to, say, racism. Or rudeness. Or inability to use the Queen's English, or even, indeed, the Queen Vic's English.

21:51 / 10.01.07

Of course she has. Ken has some fiftysomething growing-up years on her, though, and if he'd merely said, "I just forgot", she'd have calmed down pretty quickly. Her concern was for the 'servants' who she felt would now go unfed; Ken, by adopting a "who cares, it's just a game" line stoked the situation.

Are you patronising Jacquie? If so, I suppose you think you're better than Jacquiuee, right? You think you're the sort of person who could have Jacaqqtr locked away forever for the good of humanity? It must be very easy to think that. But mate, I'm telling you, it's not on. Because Jadchjglkje is a real fucking person ...

Even though at the moment she must seem like a bad scene.

(I'm also angry with her because I knew I recognised her from somewhere - I gave her ... a lot of money a while ago now, because I wanted love, but then she, Jafdeythr, ran away, in her capacity as a 'clipper'.

On the down side, I'm still not over it.

But, on the up side, it wouldn't, hypothetically, I suppose, be too hard to work out where the Mum of Jade lived, and then seeing one's way clear to firebombing it.

22:30 / 10.01.07

I'm Ganesh, an Indian princess. It's what I do.

10:13 / 11.01.07

What is a clipper? Is it like someone who works in a clip joint, or not?

Jack The Bodiless

10:23 / 11.01.07

It's someone who poses as a prostitute, gets the money up front and then legs it before actually getting down to doing the nasty.

10:26 / 11.01.07

Sort of a friendly mugger then?

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