Bleurgh. Ebony and fucking ivory...
"We were a team as soon as I gave Vic his glass of champagne on the first day," Jay said fondly.
Vic agreed and added: "Once he put his shorts on, yeah," keen to stress that though the pair are close, they're not THAT close.
Yeah, 'cause that'd be gay... Thing is, it took Jason almost two weeks to put his shorts on, literally and metaphorically. Until that point, he was happily bonding with Dan, exposing soul and Spamcheeks. The whole 'Victor and I were a team from Day One' stuff is revisionist shitebaggery, and it's no wonder Dan's pissed off with having been airbrushed out of the picture.
Jason's not in love with Victor; he's in love with the idea of confident masculinity, because it's something he's never himself attained, despite pumping his Sparmour to ridiculous proportions and (supposedly) bedding several hundred women. I think he was probably drawn to Dan, initially, for the same reason, since Dan's fairly secure in himself. Sad thing is, Jason's apparently unable to read Victor's rude boy posturing for the inauthentic Panto Male bullshit it is, and has hitched his bitch-wagon to a dud nag.
I suspect it's the way he'll go in life. He'll abandon his plan to become a trolley dolly (I note there's been almost no discussion of that), luxuriate in the meedja spotlight for a few weeks, consider moving in with Victor... and then, when that relationship turns sour (as it inevitably will, because Victor actually is attracted to women rather than simply the idea of being a heterosexual man), becoming embittered. He'll cast around for substitute archetypes of masculinity, possibly join a gang (a la Morrissey) and possibly go the whole Irvine Welsh 'sexual ambiguity transformed to violence' route. Of course, the fact that his face is (briefly) famous will make those nocturnal 'walking the dog' episodes rather tricky: perhaps he'll eschew actual sex and simply beat up the more disrespectful Hampstead Heath-goers instead...
*sigh*
Such a silly boy... |
