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Text Adventure Game Emulator #1

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20:48 / 25.08.05

take another look around you, check for exits and any possible hidden dangers. make sure your hand is close (but not obviously so) to your loaded gun. if you can be reasonably sure that you can escape fairly easily if need be and that there are seemingly no dangers other than the men before you, step forward and casually ask the men if you may join them.

20:49 / 25.08.05

decide against punching - you've already made yourself out to be a lunatic for most of the day.

Regrettable Juvenilia

21:24 / 25.08.05

You take another look around you, check for exits. Assuming the bathroom is a dead end and the kitchen is not, there are exits North and West. Neither of them are guaranteed to be clear, but you'll have to take that chance.

You can't see any hidden dangers - but then again, if you could, they wouldn't be hidden, would they? You make sure your hand is close to one of your two loaded guns.

You think you can reasonably sure that you can escape fairly easily if need be and that there are seemingly no dangers other than the men before you.

You step forward and casually ask the men if you may join them.

The thin man looks a little dubious, but Wally looks up and smiles warmly.

"Oh, sure! Pull up a chair!"

Wait a minute. Aren't you invisible at the moment?

21:25 / 25.08.05

(we totally need to do that "slide the gun under the table and press the barrel into the other guy's crotch move")

Regrettable Juvenilia

21:27 / 25.08.05

Wally laughs, then points at his eyes. In a sing-song voice he says:

"We can see you!"

Even the thin man smiles at this. Then he looks right at you, and gives you a little wave.

Regrettable Juvenilia

21:29 / 25.08.05

"Wait, watch this", says Wally. He gestures for the waiter to come over. "Waiter, how many people are there at this table?"

The waiter looks puzzled.

"Why, two, Mr Shawn sir. Yourself and Mr Gregory, of course."

The waiter goes away, while Wally chuckles to himself. Mr Gregory sips his wine.

21:31 / 25.08.05

Inconceivable!

Tryphena Absent

21:33 / 25.08.05

Crush Mr Gregory's wine glass in your left fist.

Matthew Fluxington

21:43 / 25.08.05

Punch Gregory in the face as hard as you possibly can.

Regrettable Juvenilia

21:47 / 25.08.05

You grab Mr Gregory's hand, the hand that's holding his wine glass, in your own. You squeeze. The glass shatters, and Mr Gregory winces - but only as if in annoyance, not in pain. You let go. He pulls a few shards of broken glass out of his hand, wipes blood off on a napkin, then holds up his palm, facing towards you. It looks unharmed.

"Unnecessary, and unhelpful", he says, as if disappointed.

Regrettable Juvenilia

21:49 / 25.08.05

You punch Mr Gregory in the face as hard as you possibly can.

"Oh my!" says Mr Shawn.

Mr Gregory shakes his head and blinks a few times. A tiny stream of blood starts to trickle from his nose, then stops and is sucked back up. He says:

"If we do not learn from our mistakes, we are doomed to repeat them, don't you think?"

Matthew Fluxington

21:52 / 25.08.05

Shout something to the contrary in German.

Tryphena Absent

21:52 / 25.08.05

Snog Mr Gregory.

Regrettable Juvenilia

21:56 / 25.08.05

You shout "Nein! Ich stimme nicht zu!"

Then you lean over and plant a smacker on Mr Gregory's lips. He does not kiss back, although he doesn't bother stopping you when you slip him the tongue.

"Oh my!" says Mr Shawn.

When you've finished, he grimaces for a moment, as if he had just tried an exotic and unsavory new foodstuff.

"Distasteful", he says.

21:56 / 25.08.05

Then ask him where Maya is.

Regrettable Juvenilia

22:01 / 25.08.05

Mr Gregory waits until the waiter has come back and dutifully filled a new glass with wine. He takes a large gulp and then swills it round in his mouth.

"Well, go on, tell him Andre!", says Mr Shawn.

"In one of the warehouses by the pier", says Mr Gregory in a rather annoyed tone. "Not that it's any concern of yours."

Tryphena Absent

22:11 / 25.08.05

Ask Mr Gregory why he doesn't love you.

22:14 / 25.08.05

...while pushing your gun into his crotch under the table.

Regrettable Juvenilia

22:20 / 25.08.05

"I don't feel strongly either way about you, I'm afraid", says Mr Gregory, almost sadly.

Mr Shawn frowns.

"That's a bit harsh, isn't it? I mean, don't we all need love? Affirmation?"

Mr Gregory sighs.

"Well yes of course, Wally, in a sense we're all abandonned children crying out for the love of our creator... But I'm afraid I can't pretend to feel something I don't."

Regrettable Juvenilia

22:24 / 25.08.05

"Oh, I can feel the gun, of course, but it doesn't change anything, does it? External factors can't change who we are inside. You'll find that out soon enough, by the way."

That last sentence was addressed to you.

Matthew Fluxington

22:33 / 25.08.05

Apologize for the trouble and head off to the club as you had originally planned.

Regrettable Juvenilia

22:40 / 25.08.05

"Sorry", you say.

"That's quite all right", says Mr Gregory. "There's obviously been some kind of misunderstanding. Hasn't there, Wally?"

Wally just chuckles.

"Could be!", he says.

You turn to leave.

"Are you sure you won't stay for a glass of wine?", asks Wally. "Or maybe try the risotto? It's very good..."

"Happy hunting", says Mr Gregory drily.

You walk North, back into the front of the restaurant. The rest of the clientele have left. There are a couple more waiters here, bustling about cleaning and putting the chairs upside down on tables, and since you're still invisible you have to weave around them.

Tryphena Absent

23:01 / 25.08.05

Wipe away the tear that is currently rolling down your face. Scream "rejected again" to the restaurant as you step towards the door.

Regrettable Juvenilia

23:13 / 25.08.05

Yeah, okay, you do all that. One of the waiters drops an armfull of dirty plates that he'd just picked up off the table the party of five were at. The rest of the waiters curse in Italian, cross themselves, and hurry up with the clearing and cleaning.

You reach the door. Suddenly the door slams open.

Maya is standing in the doorway, looking dazed.

23:33 / 25.08.05

[Picard] Deactivate cloaking! [/Picard]

Regrettable Juvenilia

23:42 / 25.08.05

You flip down the collar of your coat and become visible. Cue the sound of more crockery smashing on the floor.

"Madre della Mary di Christ!" yells one of the waiters. "Odio quei cappotti."

Maya looks you up and down, looking perturbed.

"Hey, it's you", she says. "You're... a goth now." There is an awkward silence. "What are you doing here?"

Before you can say anything, you hear a voice say:

"I thought I told you to stay behind me?"

Maya, who has walked into the restaurant, turns around. You can now see a man standing in the doorway behind her. He has a crewcut and is wearing a black double-breasted suit over a white shirt, with no tie. The suit looks like it's been through a lot.

"I can take care of myself!" protests Maya.

"Right, that's why I just had to rescue you", says the guy. Then he seems to notice you for the first time.

"Who are you?", he asks.

23:53 / 25.08.05

Say 'The name's Highgraves, I think... Just Highgraves. Sorry, dude, but there seem to be questions concerning my identity. And you'd be?'

Regrettable Juvenilia

23:53 / 25.08.05

Before you know it, he is pointing two guns in your face.

"I'm Agent John Highgraves. Now, who the fuck are you?"

Tryphena Absent

00:00 / 26.08.05

You say "erm".

00:10 / 26.08.05

Say 'Man, I don't know. Someone slipped me a roofie... I don't knows how long ago, and then I woke up in this frikkin swamp and I had to deal with all these frikkin guys and some zombie gorillas and monkeys and oblique directions and gangsters and comic fans and drugs and people whose frikkin music I'd never dream of listening to in a million frikkin years, y'know, who wanted to kill me and I kept on trying to smoke the muthas and I couldn't and they just wouldn't die and I had this date and... and I don't know what the frikkin frik I'm frikkin doing any more, man...' then burst into tears, and add 'I've got nothing to lose any more,' followed by 'Can you get me a drink? I really need one... In fact, I've got dorrah, or dollah, what ever the fuck that shit is... So what say I buy you a drink, and you and me sit down together, and you try'n fill me in on what the hell's going on in this freaky joint, pally?'

Disco is My Class War

05:12 / 26.08.05

Remember manners. Straighten back, turn to Maya. Put on best I'm-really-not-a-fuckwit expression. Smile winningly as if you didn't just lose it.Say, "And in the meantime would you forgive my addled state, goth disguise and the complete stupidity with which I've just spent the last three minutes acting like you aren't here, and let me buy you a drink?"

Regrettable Juvenilia

09:51 / 26.08.05

"Erm... Man, I don't know. Someone slipped me a roofie..."

You recount the traumas of the day in a self-pitying fashion to Agent Highgraves, at one point bursting into tears and asking for some alcohol.

Highgraves, now only bothering to point one of his guns at you, looks distinctly unimpressed, bordering on disgusted.

Changing tack, you pull out some of your money and offer to buy him a drink, in exchange for him filling you in on what the hell's going on around here.

"Much as I'd love to", he says, voice dripping with sarcasm, "I've got a job to do. Now get the hell out of my way."

You stand aside, but not in time to stop him shoving you aside quite hard as he walks South towards the rear of the restaurant. He turns back momentarily to address Maya:

"I can't believe this is who you wanted to come dancing with us."

You try to pull yourself together a bit, and turn to Maya, putting on your best I'm-really-not-a-fuckwit expression, and smiling winningly as if you didn't just lose it. You say:

"Please forgive my addled state, goth disguise - which is a disguise, by the way - and general complete stupidity. Can I buy you a drink?"

She sighs, and looks at you with something approaching pity.

"Look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea... But John, he's my -"

From the back of the restaurant, you hear Highgraves shout "Gregory, you SICK FUCK!" - and then a deafening burst of gunfire.

Matthew Fluxington

10:12 / 26.08.05

Flee.

Regrettable Juvenilia

10:26 / 26.08.05

In which direction do you wish to - Oh, fuck it, there's really only one viable direction. You run in the opposite direction of the gunfire and shouting, which is to say North, out of Il Centro.

You are standing in Acacia Avenue.

To the North is the hulking black shape of Club Twart. There is a queue of would-be clubbers outside, and a couple of bouncers.

To the South is Il Centro.

Acacia Avenue continues to the West and East.

It is raining.

12:03 / 26.08.05

At lowest ebb ever, flip up trenchcoat collar, become teh invisible again, then decide not to bother (something's bound to go wrong,) and, too distraught to even try to 'blag' way in on guest list, head North to join the other schmoes in the queue for Club Twart, singing a Smiths song quietly to self. Wish memory was working better - '100... buns? Bellhops? Bullocks?'

Resist almost overwhelming urge to burst into tears again.

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