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Underground > Creation >

Text Adventure Game Emulator #1

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16:22 / 07.09.05

As you're walking, ask, "Okay, not you, but what about Mr. Gregory?"

Regrettable Juvenilia

18:04 / 07.09.05

Mr Shawn gets up and walks North-East, and you follow him. Caroline does the same.

You ask Mr Shawn about his friend Mr Gregory's seeming invulnerability.

"Oh, well Andre's had a few modifications done to him over at the Abraham Facility, which make him trickier to hurt than most folk! But he can be hurt or even killed, not that I'd ever want that to happen. You'd just need to use the right, um... implement."

The sand underneath your feet turns from dry to wet as you keep walking. You are at the edge of the sea, which is to your East. West will take you back towards the interior of the Island. North and South, the beach continues. You can hear the surf roaring.

To the East, you see that something is approaching from the sea. It seems to be riding on the crests of waves.

As it gets nearer, you see that it appears to be made of some kind of reflective crystaline substance. It is a proud, magnificent Magical Horse.

The horse trots up to Mr Shawn, who makes reassuring noises, and produces a lump of sugar from his pocket. The horse bends to eat the sugarlump, and nuzzles Mr Shawn's hand.

18:11 / 07.09.05

Gasp in wonder at the fabled Magical Horse! Hesitantly reach out to touch it!

(and note to self that Highgraves obviously popped a few caps off at Andre not Wally, enemy of mine enemy and all that. Ooh, magic horse!)

Regrettable Juvenilia

19:38 / 07.09.05

You gasp in wonder, and reach out to touch this wondrous beast. It whinnies and retreats a little, but Mr Shawn murmurs to it for a moment and it relents and lets you stroke its flank. It feels cool to the touch, and hard and smooth, like marble.

"Beautiful, isn't she?", says Mr Shawn. "Either of you fancy taking her for a canter?"

Goodness Gracious Meme

22:57 / 07.09.05

Reply, "Yes", breathlessly.
Nervously mount the Magical Horse while muttering "Be Cool" under breath.

Regrettable Juvenilia

09:26 / 08.09.05

You climb astride the sturdy back of the magic horse (for what else could one mean by 'mount'?). You're not quite sure why you know how to get on a horse first time, let alone ride one, but somehow it comes easily.

"Room for two?", asks Caroline.

10:10 / 08.09.05

"Yes", you say, with what you dearly hope is a 'kindly twinkle in your eyes' rather than a 'grotesque leer suffusing your entire face'.

Canter East, and try to get a better look at the thing in the waves.

10:20 / 08.09.05

Belatedly recall that the thing in the waves was in fact, the horse you are now riding on.

Regrettable Juvenilia

10:44 / 08.09.05

With a helping hand from yourself, Caroline clambers up behind you onto the horse.

"Have fun!" says Mr Shawn, waving you goodbye, for the horse seems to sense your intentions and immediately begins to canter East. It moves over the waves almost as if they were solid, and yet there's a lightness to its motion that belies this. As you move further out to sea, you realise that the horse is essentially hovering just above the surface of the water. It can fly, in other words.

The horse will respond to your intentions through its magical telepathy. You can go Up, in other words. The coast of the island is to the West, curving away from you in a Westerly fashion as it runs North. The island's mountains tower to the South-West. To the South, you can dimly make out a headland jutting out from the island.

To the East, and to the North, the ocean waves become larger and more choppy.

ORA ORA ORA ORAAAA!!

10:59 / 08.09.05

Up
(until something happens, like hypoxia, or you see the sunset in reverse, or a giant bird made of steel attacks)

Regrettable Juvenilia

18:52 / 08.09.05

You instruct the horse to fly upwards and it does, ascending in small circles. The horse stops ascending at a height it feels comfortable. It's below cloud level, but the view is still spectacular.

Although it's night, the moon is full and so you have a pretty good view of the island, which is more or less L-shaped, with the imposing shape of Death Mountain at the corner of the L. The village of Bastard is situated at the northern end of the island, which slopes to a point. You can see the lights of some other, larger settlement stretching across the Southern coast.

Caroline says:

"I can see my house from here. It's to the North-West. Any chance of a ride home?"

01:49 / 09.09.05

Everyone stops for a moment to gaze at the sunset. They see Oddman fly by, and he tips his tophat to them, and blinks out of their reality.

Everyone goes back to what they were doing, knowing that they were just in the presence of greatness.

02:43 / 09.09.05

Say "Sure, but before we go: what's that larger village down on the south? The Village of Bitch?". After we get an answer zoom to the north-west

16:55 / 09.09.05

..and glance about to see if we can spot the giant creature that crashed through the jungle on metal legs IIRC.

Regrettable Juvenilia

00:35 / 12.09.05

"That's the coastal town of Casa Dume", says Caroline. "It's mostly a tourist trap. There's a hotel, a couple of casinos, and a lot of holiday homes. There's a lot of money there but it's not the real island, that's all on the Northern side of the island. And the people in charge on the Southern side of the island are very keen on only attracting the right kind of visitors, if you know what I mean."

You ride North-West on the flying horse. Below you, the beach turns into jungle. A rustling in the tree-tops, here and there below you, might indicate the presence of something large moving around in the jungle - but then again, it might just be the wind.

It occurs to you that you are starting to feel very tired.

After a while, you pass over the wall that surrounds the village of Bastard. You fly above the rooftops of the village, until eventually you recognise the corner of Acacia Avenue and Munt Lane below you. The horse keeps flying North-West, until you reach the seafront. You can see a harbour, where a few boats are docked.

Caroline indicates that you should descend, and you do. The horse touches down on a paved promenade by the harbour, which is to the North. To the South is a row of houses. To the East, you can see the Northern end of Munt Lane, and beyond that, the pier. To the West, the promenade continues.

Caroline gets down off the horse.

"Do you want to come in for a drink?", she asks, jerking her thumb over her shoulder in the direction of the houses.

00:54 / 12.09.05

Agree to go with Catherine. To wherever it is that she wants to lead. On the way ask her if she'd know about anyone who might have something (at the going market rate obviously,) to help a guy stay awake.

If she suggests 'coffee,' shoot to kill. Unless she suggests that in a romantic way, in which case hold back. For a while.

04:41 / 12.09.05

Get off horse.

Say to horse, "Lo, thou mighty dream'd steed, go thou upon that billowing aeternity yonder and comest thou unto me in the time of my greatest peril, forsooth to rescue me, or when I ask for thee, for thou art mighty, and a steed. I name thee Fite!"

x horse.

Regrettable Juvenilia

07:20 / 12.09.05

There is nobody called Catherine here.

You say to the horse: "Lo, thou mighty dream'd steed, go thou upon that billowing aeternity yonder and comest thou unto me in the time of my greatest peril, forsooth to rescue me, or when I ask for thee, for thou art mighty, and a steed. I name thee Fite!"

You say all this telepathically, as saying it out loud might make you look a little bit, well, daft.

You examine the horse. Its ears twitch and it bats its eyelids with uncanny intelligence. Closer examination reveals that the horse is female, so we'll stop calling her "it". Fite! begins to rise up into the air once more, and somehow communicates to you, through the strange mental bond you now share, that she will return to the beach for now but can be summoned at any time you are in need of her. You can do this by simply instructing teh Computer to summon Fite!.

Fite! flies off to the South-East.

"This way", says Caroline, and walks South across the street.

Tryphena Absent

09:40 / 12.09.05

Run after Caroline and grab her hand. Kiss the back of it and wink at her.

01:52 / 13.09.05

And, not in a mood to put up with much more of this, as far as possible place a gun in each hand and scream out on bended knees for answers, damnit, answers...

If she seems surprised by all this shoot Caroline in the arm, take her hostage, and then tie her up to the nearest tree.

Ask around in the local bars for a copy of 'Going For Gold' by Shed 7 (this'll take as long as it has to,) and then, threaten her with the possibility of getting something to play the wretched song on, and playing it until she spills out over the sides about everything, about what the hell's happening.

Not because it seems like she has any useful info, it doesn't really matter. But because it will be funny.

01:57 / 13.09.05

Because Mr Funny said so, that this was the way it should be.

09:18 / 13.09.05

...or on second thoughts follow Caroline into her place checking out her ass.

Regrettable Juvenilia

10:11 / 13.09.05

You run after Caroline, grab her hand, kiss the back of it and wink at her.

"Huh", she says, "You're a fast one, aren't you?" But she doesn't slap you round the face or kick you in the shins, which is a good sign.

You follow Caroline up a set of rusting metal stairs that run up the Western side of a run-down building with grey concrete walls, as far as the third and top floor. She unlocks an unmarked metal door painted black, leads you into a darkened corridor, and then flicks on a light switch.

You are in a small hall area, lit by a bare buld dangling from the ceiling. There is a door (which you have closed behind you) leading back out onto the stairs to the West, and another door in front of you, to the East. Both doors have catflaps set into them near the floor. The walls are covered with peeling wallpaper in a grey and red pattern. There are many coats hanging up on a series of hooks, which appear to have been driven into the wall at random intervals.

There is a large ginger cat here. It hisses at you, and arches its back.

"Hey Felix", Caroline says to the cat, bending down to scratch behind its ears. To you, she says: "I think he likes you. Relatively speaking."

Regrettable Juvenilia

10:14 / 13.09.05

Caroline opens the door to the East and you follow her through it. She shuts and locks it behind you.

You are in a living room. It will take a moment for your eyes to adjust to the unusual lighting, after which you may examine the room. You can hear the sound of humming technology.

You can see that there is a man here, sitting at a computer.

Tryphena Absent

10:22 / 13.09.05

Groan loudly. Why does this shit keep happening to you? All you want to do is shoot someone or get laid but you're a bad shot and frankly these women keep giving you the run about. Inventory.

Regrettable Juvenilia

10:44 / 13.09.05

You groan loudly.

"Are you okay?", asks Caroline.

"Caroline, where do you find these people?", says the man, spinning round in his chair.

Now that your eyes have adjusted a little you can see that you are in a relatively normal-looking living room, at least by the standards of borderline bohemian 20-30something lazy dossers. There is a sofa, a television, and a desk and chair, on which the man is sitting. On the desk is a laptop computer attached to various other bits of technology including a printer and what look like a couple of other hard-drives. The man is a quite average twentysomething in a Joy Division t-shirt.

"This is my flatmate, Michael", says Caroline to you. "Do you want a drink or something?"

Regrettable Juvenilia

10:49 / 13.09.05

You have:

- a watch
- one .45 calibre pistol, loaded with 2 bullets
- another .45 calibre pistol, loaded with 3 bullets
- a money clip containing 67 dollah
- the key to room 23 at a Dancing Bear Inn
- a further set of keys including the key to room 7 at the Dancing Bear Inn, a car key, a small key for a padlock or safe-deposit box, and a swipecard for the Abraham Facility
- a Library card
- a small slip of paper with a crude map drawn on it
- a Babelfish
- a mobile phone, with no battery

Tryphena Absent

11:37 / 13.09.05

What kind of alcohol does she have?

Regrettable Juvenilia

12:43 / 13.09.05

"I've got beer or vodka."

12:59 / 13.09.05

Ask if we can crash at their place, all this blundering around aimlessly shooting things and chasing girls is tiring, and this little Eternal Champion is all tuckered out. If yes, go to sleepy boboes and ignore voices in head telling us to take more drugs and hit a disco.

15:19 / 13.09.05

Take more drugs.

16:26 / 13.09.05

Hit a disco.

16:29 / 13.09.05

"Could I have a beer? Hello Michael, what are you doing with all that hi tech gadgetry and gizmos?" slump on sofa.

17:05 / 13.09.05

Look about for zombie-killing shilellagh.

Regrettable Juvenilia

18:46 / 13.09.05

There is no disco here to hit.

"Could I have a beer?", you ask, slumping onto the sofa.

"Sure", says Caroline, and exits through a door to the North that leads to a kitchen area. You take in your surroundings some more, and see that there is also a door to a bedroom to the South, one to the West, and a door to a bathroom to the South-West.

You search down the back of the sofa for a zombie-killing shilellagh, and find nothing. Nothing, that is, except for the remote control for the television, and a large brass coin. Michael looks at the coin in your hand, and shrugs.

"Must predate either of us living here", he says, "And that's not local currency. Keep it." You put the coin in your pocket.

"Hello Michael", you say. "What are you doing with all that hi tech gadgetry and gizmos?"

"I'm making an unscheduled withdrawal from the First Bank of the Mainland", he says, turning back to tap away at a keypad. "Their security software isn't bad really, but you'd think they would have upgraded after the last time I burned 'em."

Caroline returns with two cans of Heidegger beer, opens them and offers you one. You take the beer and have a sip, thus taking more drugs, since alcohol is a drug.

You ask if there's any chance you could crash out here, as you're feeling very tired.

"As long as you don't mind sleeping on the floor in my room", says Caroline. "Michael will be up all night in here and at some point he'll start listening to Belgian gabba loud enough to keep you awake if you stay in this room."

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