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Text Adventure Game Emulator #1

 
  

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Regrettable Juvenilia
12:34 / 26.08.05
Feeling very disheartened, you start to walk North to join the back of the queue for Club Twart.

Suddenly, a fish falls out of the sky and lands at your feet.
 
 
Evil Scientist
13:06 / 26.08.05
Look at the fish. Ready pistol.
 
 
Evil Scientist
13:08 / 26.08.05
Change mind, throw guns away. These weapons have brought me nothing but trouble.

Pick up fish and cradle to self like an infant child.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
13:15 / 26.08.05
You drop both your guns and pick up the fish tenderly. It is still alive, and apparently unharmed by falling out of the sky. Its scales are blue, and shimmer in the light of the streetlamps. Its big eyes regard you with interest.

Someone is approaching on a motorcycle.
 
 
Triplets
13:21 / 26.08.05
Wave at rider.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
13:36 / 26.08.05
drop fish. Pick up guns.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
13:39 / 26.08.05
Drop guns again. Pick up fish again. Repeat.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
14:25 / 26.08.05
Unable to choose between the fish and your guns, you stuff all three into your bulging satchel.

You wave at the motorcyclist, and they pull up next to you. Then they remove their helmet.

It's the bartender from the Bwah-Ha-Hah Bar.

"Möchten Sie reiten?", she asks you.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
15:06 / 26.08.05
Pull fish out of satchel, point it at barmaid. Say 'Sprechen sie Englisch, oder sterben sie.'
 
 
Triplets
15:06 / 26.08.05
Agree to a lift and ask where she's going. Suggestively.
 
 
at the scarwash
15:47 / 26.08.05
apologize for forgetting to tip earlier, give her 5 dollah, and ask where she's going

and

i
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
12:37 / 27.08.05
You pull out the fish and point it at the bartender in a threatening manner. She raises an eyebrow, and then laughs. It's probably for the best that's not taking you seriously.

You start to speak, and suddenly there is a sound like feedback. Various people in the queue clutch at their ears. The sound seems to have come from the fish.

"Cool", says the bartender, "I've always wanted one of those."

It is a Babelfish. You will be able to use it to communicate with people who do not speak English from now on.

"Sorry I forgot to tip you earlier", you say, reaching for your money.

"You don't need to tip me. I'm not American, and this isn't the USA."

You ask her where she's going.

"I was just going to go home and crash out - I live by the harbour. But now I'm thinking about going to a party that's supposed to be happening in the jungle. Or we could go here", she says, indicating Club Twart. "It's not too bad."

You are carrying:

- a satchel
- one .45 calibre pistol, loaded with 4 bullets
- another .45 calibre pistol, loaded with 7 bullets
- a digital camera
- the key to room 23 at the Dancing Bear Inn
- a watch
- a small bag half-filled with icing sugar
- a set of keys including the key to room 7 at the Dancing Bear Inn, a car key, a small key for a padlock or safe-deposit box, and a swipecard for the Abraham Facility
- a Library card
- a cut-throat razor
- a money clip containing 76 dollah
- a small slip of paper with a crude map drawn on it
- a brown padded envelope (opened) containing ransom note and dictaphone
- a Babelfish


Your inventory is now full, and you will not be able to pick up any more items without dropping something first.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
14:16 / 27.08.05
Drop brown padded envelope containing ransom note and dictaphone.
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
14:31 / 27.08.05
Go south and check that Maya is okay because she's made better songs than bloody Roxette here...
 
 
Triplets
16:09 / 27.08.05
Yeah, ask to check up on a friend (Maya). If she's alright head to the jungle rumble (ask Maya if she wants to go depending if she's alright)
 
 
Alex's Grandma
23:08 / 27.08.05
But before that, sit down by the side of the road and brokenly mumble a song about the dangers of always believing that one is indestuctible. But don't really believe it. Try and get the hairstyle together, and wipe the blood and dirt off self's face, grit teeth - Make sure all weapons are cocked and loaded. Wait, like a panther.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
23:10 / 27.08.05
Like a panther in a tree.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
23:46 / 27.08.05
You drop the brown padded envelope.

"I just have to check a friend of mine is okay", you tell the bartender, and turn to head South across the street towards Il Centro. The bartender props up her motorbike, and waits, leaning against it, arms folded, expression quizzical.

Just as you reach the door of the restaurant, it swings open, and Highgraves staggers out looking dazed and weary. His face and clothes are spattered with someone else's blood. His guns are still in his hands, but his arms hang limply by his sides.

"Jesus. How many times can one guy get shot in the face and not die?", he says, but he's not really talking to you.

He stumbles past you into the street. Maya comes out of the restaurant looking concerned, and starts to follow him.

"Are you okay?", you ask.

"Yeah, I guess", she says. "I just need to make sure John is okay, he gets very upset in situations like this."

Highgraves is walking East. Maya runs after him.

To the South, you can see through the windows of Il Centro that the restaurant is in disarray. To the North, the bartending woman from Bwah-Ha-Hah Bar is leaning against her bike and lighting a cigarette.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
01:08 / 28.08.05
Go North to bartender, tell her you want to go with her to the jungle.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
16:47 / 28.08.05
You walk back over to the bartender and tell her:

"Okay, let's go check out this party."

"Sounds good to me", she says, getting back on the bike, kicking away its stand and revving it into life. "Put this on."

She throws you a crash helmet.

"My name's Caroline, by the way."
 
 
Mike Modular
18:27 / 28.08.05
Say: "That's ripping, kitten. Let's roll!". Put on helmet and get on the bike.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
21:33 / 28.08.05
You put on the crash helmet and mount the bike. It is a Suzuki. You hang on to Caroline for dear life as the bike roars into action and screeches past Maya and Highgraves (who is now sitting down by the side of the road and brokenly mumbling something about the dangers of always believing that one is indestuctible). You head East until you reach a crossroads, at which point Caroline turns a hard right, onto a street that heads South, and then begins to curve South-West. You speed past various buildings on either side, too quickly for you to pick them out of a general blur, until Caroline slows a little and you see, on your right, at the South end of a block, the Dancing Bear Inn.

You are riding through the Square, heading South. Caroline stops the bike, slides up the visor of her crash helmet and yells "Open up!"

The Guard on top of the Gate looks up from his very bad comics, and then stumbles into action, turning a large wheel at the top of the Wall, which in turn causes the Gate to swing open.

As soon as there's a gap barely wide enough for the bike to fit through, Caroline guns the engine and you go zooming into the jungle.

After you've been riding along the track for a few minutes, you start to smell burning rubber. Caroline stops the bike, gets off and crouches down to examine the smoking front wheel of the bike.

"Tyre's on fire", she says, nonchalantly. She waves away the smoke, and you step off the bike to examine the wheel with her. It looks pretty ruined. "There's a place South of here where we can get a replacement. Do you want to go, or stay here and watch the bike?"
 
 
Whisky Priestess
21:46 / 28.08.05
Say "Why, what's it going to do?"

Smirk sheepishly and add "I'll watch the bike."

Take a photo of the buggered bike with the Digital Camera and hand the camera to Caroline, in case the jungle garage needs to make a remote diagnosis.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
22:42 / 28.08.05
Caroline seems unimpressed by your 'humour' but impressed with your initiative. She takes the digital camera after you've used it to photograph the bike's front wheel. The camera now has enough battery power remaining to take 9 photos.

Caroline bids you farewell for now and heads South along the path. Soon she has disappeared into the darkness of the night. You take off the crash helmet and sit leaning against the bike. The jungle to the East and West is pitch black. The path North leads to the Village of Bastard, but it also vanishes into blackness after a few feet.

Time passes.

Something rustles in the foliage to the West.

It makes a sound.

"Grnarhhg."
 
 
Alex's Grandma
01:10 / 29.08.05
In the nicest possible way, ask whatever it is out there in the darkness if it's got a spare fag.
 
 
P. Horus Rhacoid
06:30 / 29.08.05
Pop collar. Surreptitiously ready pistols and straight razor. Wait, as before, like a panther in a tree. Prepare pithy Clint Eastwood quote.
 
 
Lord Morgue
10:22 / 29.08.05
Use mantra "IAMCOOLASBRUCECAMPBELL"
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
17:02 / 29.08.05
"Any chance of a cigarette?"

There is no answer, except for a shuffling sound and a faint "Mrrnnnhh".

You flip up your collar, turning invisible, and wait.

Two zombie monkeys stumble out of the undergrowth. Unable to see you, they wander round the bike, looking at it, scratching their heads, and making horrible groaning sounds. Eventually they each grab one end of the bike, and start rocking it back and forth. If they keep this up, the bike will surely sustain further damage.
 
 
P. Horus Rhacoid
17:21 / 29.08.05
Un-pop collar. Approach monkeys, making soothing noises in an attempt to put them at ease. If possible, befriend them. If monkeys attack, re-pop collar, and decapitate both with straight razor.
 
 
P. Horus Rhacoid
17:27 / 29.08.05
Actually, if monkeys attack, spread trenchcoat wide, flasher style, in an attempt to make self look bigger and frighten monkeys. If that fails, then re-pop collar and decapitate.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
23:16 / 29.08.05
You flip your collar down, becoming visible. Immediately the zombie monkeys lose interest in the motorbike. With snarls, they lurch aggressively towards you. You spread your trenchcoat wide in an attempt to seem as big as possible. It deters them not in the slightest. You flip your collar up again, and become invisible, but the monkeys are now lurching in your general direction and don't look like stopping.

You slice at the nearest zombie monkey's neck with the straight-edge razor. It lodges there and the monkey, enraged, swats you to the ground with a massive paw, before pulling out the blade and hurling it into the undergrowth.

The other zombie monkey towers above you, beats its chest and hollers:

"GRRRAAAAGGGHHHH!"
 
 
Tryphena Absent
03:30 / 30.08.05
Shoot zombie monkeys.
 
 
Mike Modular
06:32 / 30.08.05
In the head
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
10:49 / 30.08.05
Still lying flat on your back, you pull out your guns and fire a couple of bullets from each into the nearest zombie monkey's head. It comes apart like a ripe watermelon that's been hit by a speeding lorry. The headless body comes crashing to the ground, and you only just manage to roll out of the way in time to avoid being pinned beneath it.

You jump to your feet and take careful aim at the head of the other zombie monkey, which is blundering about confusedly. Two shots to the head and it too collapses.

The jungle is quiet again. The air smells of rotting meat. You wait by the motorbike.

Time passes.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
11:44 / 30.08.05
doot-doot. beep-beep.

Robert's phone - which somehow you missed in your inventory a few times because it was buried at the bottom of your satchel - is ringing!
 
  

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