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Text Adventure Game Emulator #1

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Regrettable Juvenilia

16:05 / 02.09.05

You dance with Ludacris. You get low, put your back into it, throw them bows, and so on. Ludacris, like Caroline, is a very good dancer, and he becomes very enthusiastic, shouting:

"Work with me, let's become one with the beat, and don't worry 'bout me stepping all over your feet!"

He does, indeed, step on your toes quite frequently while the two of you are dancing. Eventually all three of you are exhausted and Luda once again enquires whether you wish to go down to the Beach to meet the man who has weed to sell.

16:10 / 02.09.05

Ask Ludacris to take you to the Beach.

Go to Beach.

Regrettable Juvenilia

22:24 / 02.09.05

You walk down to the Beach with Luda and Caroline.

On the Beach there is a boar being roasted. Standing around the boar are a bald man, a ginger-haired man and a blonde woman.

22:37 / 02.09.05

Wipe your eyes.

Ask Ludacris and Caroline if they like Girls Aloud.

Regrettable Juvenilia

23:12 / 02.09.05

They both agree that they like Girls Aloud.

You are standing by a roasting boar, on a beach.

With you are Caroline, Ludacris, a bald man, a younger ginger man, and a blonde woman.

23:46 / 02.09.05

Say to bald man, "Have you seen my magical horse?"

Say to ginger boy, "I'll bet that gigantic, greasy hog is going to be delicious."

Lick chops.

Regrettable Juvenilia

00:08 / 03.09.05

You say to the bald man, "Have you seen my magical horse?"

He says:

"It's not really yours, is it, my friend? No one can own a creature such as that. I've seen the heart of this island, and it's beautiful."

You say to the ginger boy, "I'll bet that gigantic, greasy hog is going to be delicious."

He says:

"Och aye, me wee blonde friend here keeps saying we need to get to a different island, but I think this place is greeet! Hoots mon!"

You lick your chops. Ludacris says:

"Over here, to the North, that's where the man who's selling weed can be found."

00:22 / 03.09.05

discreetly inventory available cash.

walk north.

00:25 / 03.09.05

- cash + dollahs

Regrettable Juvenilia

00:28 / 03.09.05

You have 67 dollah remaining.

You walk North, accompanied by Luda, Caroline, and the bald man.

There's a small man sitting on a fallen tree trunk on the beach. Hey, what do you know, it's Mr Shawn!

"Hello there!", he says.

Phex: Dorset Doom

01:19 / 03.09.05

Ask Ludacris to negotiate to purchase 1/8 of an ounce of Marijuana from Shawn on your behalf. Give him a thirty dollah budget.

08:55 / 04.09.05

And then, adopting the manner of a slightly pissed, but nevertheless still reasonably affable party guy who can't quite put a name to the face - 'I know you from somewhere, don't I? Sorry mate, I've been out for a while now, been doing some celebrating, well you know how it is,' etc, ask Mr Shawn if he'd like anything from the bar.

Regrettable Juvenilia

00:28 / 05.09.05

You instruct Ludacris to negotiate with Mr Shawn for an eighth of weed.

"Oh, I don't have any weed!", says Mr Shawn cheerfully.

"What the fuck, man", says Luda, "You showed me a big bag of green stuff, and I even smoked a little sample! Now where is it?"

"Misdirection and prestidigitation! Haha, you're a shrewd fellow, my friend, but I'm afraid I outfoxed you in this particular battle of wits!"

Ludacris looks like he's about to punch Mr Shawn in the face, at the very least. You decide to step in for a moment, giving Luda a Significant Look that he correctly interprets as indicating that attacking Mr Shawn will not be very productive.

"I know you from somewhere, don't I?", you say, "Sorry mate, I've been out for a while now, been doing some celebrating, well you know how it is - would you like a drink?"

"Already got one, thanks!" says Mr Shawn, holding up a fancy cocktail which was not visible a few moments ago.

The bald man who's followed you over here says: "I don't like this guy. Too cryptic. I'm going walkabout." Then he dashes off suddenly into the jungle to the West.

"Sorry about pretending to be a purveyor of illicit substances", says Mr Shawn with a chuckle, "But I wanted to get you over here for a little chat. Sit down on this log with me, won't you? Your friends can either stay or return to the festivities!"

Phex: Dorset Doom

02:17 / 05.09.05

Tell Shawn they that can stay, ask him to continue.

Regrettable Juvenilia

15:19 / 05.09.05

You sit down on the log next to Mr Shawn and invite him to continue. Caroline sits cross-legged on the sand and listens with apparent interest. Ludacris stands around for a bit with his hands in his pockets, before eventually getting bored and heading South to talk to the blonde woman.

"The thing is, you see", begins Mr Shawn, "Mr Gregory and I are old friends, but we disagree fiercely on a few key issues. Philosophical, artistic, ethical... We often disagree about human nature itself, I suppose. And to settle these disagreements, we play games. Some are small, some are big. As part of our games, we sometimes like to, well, I guess you could say we adopt people. We take it upon ourselves to look out for their interests, make sure they don't come to any harm, guide them towards achieving their goals... That kind of thing. And I've taken it upon myself to look out for you!"

Mr Shawn smiles benevolently at you. You regard him with trepidation.

"As a gesture of goodwill, why don't you ask me about any one individual you've met so far on the island - apart from you and me - and I'll tell you everything I know about them. I promise it will be 100% true!"

16:11 / 05.09.05

Ask him about the sniper on the roof, you know, the one who blew away Pete. And then if he's the demiurge.

Regrettable Juvenilia

16:29 / 05.09.05

"Ah, yes, Agent KHan. She's a very dangerous individual, although not a bad person per se... Just someone who's looking for a purpose in life. A bit like you! She's one of Mr Gregory's best operatives, his right-hand woman if you will, and has been for many years, ever since she came to this island. Her past before that is shrouded in mystery, but it seems clear that she's highly trained in the arts of violence and deception. And she has a personal agenda against Agent Highgraves. She might yet prove to be a useful ally, once she realises you're not actually working with Highgraves after all! She's also a talented musician, essayist and visual artist, and I enjoy conversations with her immensely in the downtime between the little 'campaigns' Andre and I conduct. When she's not co-ordinating specific jobs for Mr Gregory - hiring personnel, killing them if they fail, that kind of thing - she can usually be found supervising security at the Abraham Facility."

Regrettable Juvenilia

16:31 / 05.09.05

"I'm afraid I'm a sceptic when it comes to all that Gnosticism nonsense! Mr Gregory swears by it, though."

Regrettable Juvenilia

01:06 / 06.09.05

Time passes. Mr Shawn sips his cocktail while you ruminate on what he's said.

Ludacris strolls back over, now arm-in-arm with the blonde woman from by the fire.

The blonde woman says:

"The island is real. It's me and Luda!"

Ludacris says:

"Me and shorty are going to get out of here, take the truck back to my shack. You kids wanna stay here or come with?"

P. Horus Rhacoid

07:37 / 06.09.05

Ask Caroline if she wants to stay. Do what she does.

10:09 / 06.09.05

Make sure you look super-needy whilst asking this question. Furrow brow and open eyes really wide.

Whisky Priestess

11:37 / 06.09.05

Ask everyone present if they know where the Abraham Facility is.

Also inventory - don't you have a key for something or somewhere at that facility?

Whisky Priestess

11:44 / 06.09.05

Scratch inventory - just checked and I have a swipecard for the Abraham Facility. And don't forget I'm supposed to be meeting Robert (who will tell me all about the AF) at 10am tomorrow at the coffee shop on the corner of Acacia Avenue and Munt Lane.

Regrettable Juvenilia

13:37 / 06.09.05

You ask Caroline, in a needy way, what her plans for the rest of the night are. She sighs and looks aloof and detached.

"I have to play records all night", she says, before adding wearily, "Feel like falling asleep with my head in the speaker." You take this to mean that she's supposed to be doing a DJ set, but might bail out and head back to the village.

You tell Ludacris that you will stay, and he and the blonde woman leave.

You ask Mr Shawn if he knows where the Abraham Facility is.

"Why, yes", says Mr Shawn, "You take the dirt road running West off Munt Lane, and it's behind the metal gate at the end! That's the front door, anyway. I think there's a back entrance somewhere in the jungle, but that would be an extremely dangerous route to take.

"By the way", he says, leaning in conspiratorily, "Did I mention you should examine closely everyone you meet, and not trust anybody? Except Ludacris, he's exactly what he seems, which is a nice novelty."

14:59 / 06.09.05

examine Mr Shawn

16:56 / 06.09.05

examine caroline. internally berate yourself for your desperate and trusting lapdog behavior where she is concerned.

P. Horus Rhacoid

17:51 / 06.09.05

Stare openly at Caroline's ass.

21:06 / 06.09.05

Having opened shirt, cut self on chest with knife, and allowed the red, red blood to run on down to the top of the black, black leather jeans, continue, guns very much at the ready, to stare of blankly but meaningful into empty dead space, which at the moment includes Caroline's ass. Say to self, in head: 'I am through being dicked around - now they are playing on my terms,' lick end of blade, smile devilishly, await developments like a coiled spring of death.

Regrettable Juvenilia

23:28 / 06.09.05

You examine Mr Shawn. He is a very small man. He might even be called a homunculus. He is bald apart from some short, greying patches of hair on either side of his head. He has twinkling eyes and an impish, friendly smile.

He is wearing a brightly coloured Hawaian shirt, a pair of khaki shorts, and a pair of pink plastic flip-flops.

You examine Caroline. Frankly, teh Computer is amazed that it's taken you this long to get round to doing this. I mean, she could have had terrible disfiguring facial warts or something! I guess you really just dig the accent, huh?

Fortunately, Caroline is an androgynous beauty. She has short, dark hair. Tattoos on each shoulder say 'inhale' and 'exhale'. She is wearing a white sleeveless t-shirt, black jeans, and nice sneakers.

As she is sitting down, facing you, you are not in a position to check out her ass.

Regrettable Juvenilia

00:52 / 07.09.05

You don't have a knife anymore, by the way.

10:14 / 07.09.05

Ask Mr Shawn about his miraculous invulnerability.
'Dude, you can't die- what's up with that? Caroline, you know this guy is like frickin' Wolverine? Y'know, from the X-Men?'

11:09 / 07.09.05

Give "Blue Steel" look for emphasis.

12:13 / 07.09.05

Go for swim.

Regrettable Juvenilia

15:38 / 07.09.05

"What makes you think I'm invulnerable and can't die?", asks Mr Shawn. "Have you seen any evidence to support this?"

You cannot go for a swim at present as the tide is out. You could however head East in the direction of the sea, South back towards the roasting boar, West into the jungle, or North on up the beach.

"Hey", says Mr Shawn, "want to come and see something magic?"

15:39 / 07.09.05

Go with Mr Shawn

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