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Big Brother: Revenge of the Sixth.

 
  

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Smoothly
15:43 / 03.08.05
I think so. I certainly don’t remember the same tone of horror and disgust. As far as I can remember, in the case of Makosi and Anthony, no one expressed shock that no one *intervened*, and I’ve heard quite a lot of that today. But your pub may vary.

Girl has wank, uses bottle (A BOTTLE!!!1!!!1! *SCREEEEM*). Why? I dunno. But she seemed to fancy it at the time. I don’t really see why this is some new new barrel.
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
15:55 / 03.08.05
No, no, stick what you like where you like. I really couldn't care less, the marigolds thing was facetious.

But, you know, in private mebbe?
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
15:56 / 03.08.05
See upthread for equal horror at Craig's meeting with Farmer Palmer and his Five Daughters.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
16:02 / 03.08.05
But, you know, in private mebbe?

But they're being filmed constantly. There is no private, the only difference is she didn't hide under a cover and show the country a few little glimpses of foot and a gurning face. At least this was funny.
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
16:10 / 03.08.05
Mmm, no doubt her family were exchanging amused pleasantries about it with the neighbours in the bank the very next morning. I expect they can't wait to relate it all to Dermot on BBLB.

'Ah Mrs. Tibbs! So, did you see Kingsy stuffing a bottle of wine up her fanny last night? Without lube as well! Well, that Craig is a bit of a hormone, isn't he?'
 
 
Ganesh
16:40 / 03.08.05
I suppo-o-ose it's the degree of potential genital exposure that's generated outrage (in the easily outraged): having grown up with Hollywoodised soft-focus airbrushed sex, we're relatively used to penetration scenes where yer actual penetrated-labia isn't shown, but full-on split-beaver action is comparitively rare. While the image of Craig tossing off under a duvet was infinitely more foul (actually, the image of Craig breathing is infinitely more foul), Kinga's ass-on-grass wankery is probably seen as more hardcore, and hence riskier for C4.

Ahhh, it's good to have home broadband back...

*cracks knuckles*
 
 
Haus of Mystery
16:49 / 03.08.05
no one expressed shock that no one *intervened*

It's dangerous to stick a wine bottle up your fanny OK? I'm not some Daily Mail puritan.
 
 
Bed Head
17:25 / 03.08.05
It's dangerous to stick a wine bottle up your fanny OK? I'm not some Daily Mail puritan

But is it? Snopes says this sticking–a-wine-bottle-up-your-fanny-thing being dangerous is a bit of a myth. As we have a doctor on site, can we get a ruling? Anyone might be reading this.
 
 
Ganesh
17:55 / 03.08.05
I know sticking a Coke bottle up one's arse is problematic, and generally advise against it. Wine in front-bottoms is, however, outwith my particular medical remit.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
17:58 / 03.08.05
Clearly we need a scientist to tell us whether it's possible that a bottle could get stuck.
 
 
Haus of Mystery
18:32 / 03.08.05
It looked empty to me, which is dangerous. Cos, a vacuum in your minny, that's dangerous. That's all.
 
 
Smoothly
18:43 / 03.08.05
FACT!

Is it dangerous, MacGyver? You know that for sure?
 
 
Ganesh
19:14 / 03.08.05
For those who've asked, no, Big Brother is not normally like this. It's always heartily car-crash, but I'm not sure there's ever been a year when viewer (and possibly housemate) involvement has hinged quite as much on hating those concerned. One indicator of this is the reaction to Kinga entering the House. Usually, new housemates airdropped in midway through have a relatively short shelf-life: they're generally shunned/distrusted at having failed to 'earn' their place there, and quickly nominated/voted out. This year, no-one has nominated Kinga; if anything, they're so sick/pissed off with each other, they fell over each other to welcome her in.

As has been said several times already, it's another measure of how repellent most of the housemates are that one finds oneself rooting for a fox-hunting Monday Clubber. And now he and my other I-want-them-to-winner, Eugene, are up for eviction. Bastards.

Psi-Lock:
Agree about Craig...I feel like he's beating other people round the head with the 'oh I'm such a victim' for sympathy.

He's kinda done that from the start, though, hasn't he? Presumably with some degree of success too, since many of his fellow housemates appear to a) indulge him as one would a tearful child, and b) overlook his vileness. I think it's a combination of this projected helplessness and am 'awww, unrequited lurrve' reaction that's stopped people voting for him before now. That and the fact that none of this year's housemates appear to have been selected for their ability to appreciate the boundaries of appropriate behaviour.

Prior to the vomity horror of ViolateGate, I read several opinion pieces in the gay press (including such bastions as Graham Norton and Hudson, editor of Boyz) peddling a 'yes, he's annoying, but haven't we all been there?' line - basically attributing Craig's behaviour to the ouchiness of being in love with someone who won't/can't love one back, a sort of 'ahhh, the agony of loving straight men'. I really hope ViolateGate has informed this viewpoint... but I wouldn't put money on it. Appallingly, I think there may still be gay people prepared to defend his actions...

God forbid that anyone does what he wants them to do and watches him on BB to learn from his approach to dealing with his 'sexuality'. Only he seems to want to maintain that it is an issue in there, as everyone else in the house doesn't bat an eyelid.

And God only knows what these mysterious "issues" actually are. Not only does nobody else in the House have an issue with Craig being gay (as he's so cunningly whispered behind his hand) but neither do his parents - as they indicated in their video message. Such is Craig's (victim) power within the House that no-one openly discusses the pink elephant in the living room, no matter how paradoxically Craig behaves (Kinga's direct 'what's your sexuality, Craig?' was subsequently characterised as tantamount to abuse).

Who, then, does have an issue with Craig's sexuality? His working colleagues? Doubtful, since he runs a hairdressing salon. His friends? Possibly, but given the effect of two teaspoons of Top Deck on him, it's difficult to see that Craig's moxenness would come as a huge revelation.

Craig himself says he has absolutely no issues himself with his sexuality. But then, Craig says a whole load of things which, increasingly, make me wonder whether he suffers from one of the almost-psychotic personality disorders...
 
 
Haus of Mystery
19:32 / 03.08.05
But Smoothly, you're criticism was that people were/are overreacting because it's A GIRL! MASTURBATING! as opposed to nice wholesome coupling. Which is not what I for one was talking about. My problem is that the car crash factor involved can lead to irresponsibility on BB's part. As howlingly amusing it was to witness the Antnee/Craig debacle last week, it was also slightly worrying, and as a friend pointed out, if it had been a man and a drunken woman, there may have been some more severe intervention. Likewise with Kinga, shoving a bottle up yourself is *perhaps* a dangerous thing to do and *perhaps* BB should have at least attempted to dissuade her. But fuck it, it gets the figures, so maybe not.
 
 
Ganesh
19:37 / 03.08.05
Paleface:
When Craig was really upset, I couldn't tell if he was talking in the plural about him+anthony... or just him. cf:

THEY ALL WANT US TO LEAVE
THEY ALL HATE US
THEY ALL DON'T WANT US TO BE HERE
THEY WANTS THE PRECIOUS


HE HATESSS US, THE SKINNY LITTLE HOBBIT. EEEVIL MASTER MORSECODO...

It's not the first time Craig's come out with paranoid Smeagolisms; within the context of the Big Brother House, this stuff is considerably normalised. Even allowing for this, such outbursts stand out as verging on paranoid psychosis, little peaks of madness. I'm usually re-e-easonably wary of applying actual psychiatric labels to people in such atypical environments, but there's a consensus among my colleagues (those of us who watch the show, anyway) that Craig's way of perceiving/relating to the world is just so abnormal that he must have a disordered personality, presumably within the paranoid/narcissistic/emotionally unstable cluster. Initially, I was sceptical, reckoning the 'X wants to destroy us' stuff might simply be a cynical attempt at cementing his relationship with Anthony. I this this probably is the case, but I also suspect he genuinely does believe - at least for the minute he's saying it - that Eugene hates him, everyone wants him gone, etc., etc.

etcetera. Of course, what Craig really wanted, was THE CUDDLE.

and

Warewullf:
Anthony finally stood up for himself against Craig but un-did it all by hugging him when he started crying. Again.

Totally agree. Anthony's doing his level best to be boundaried with Craig, but he undid everything when he succumbed to (admittedly intense) emotional terrorism, and hugged him. It's now reinforced, to Craig, that whatever Anthony says, tearful remonstrating brings physical reassurance. Anthony needs Supernanny.

I'm not sure to what extent t'was malicious editing, but the shift from pre-HUGGLE Craig-distraught and post-HUGGLE Craig-enjoying/encouraging-Kinga was jarringly sudden. Again, consistent with the undeveloped/childlike shifts in and out of intense emotion/paranoia characteristic of emotionally unstable PD...
 
 
Ganesh
19:48 / 03.08.05
As howlingly amusing it was to witness the Antnee/Craig debacle last week, it was also slightly worrying, and as a friend pointed out, if it had been a man and a drunken woman, there may have been some more severe intervention. Likewise with Kinga, shoving a bottle up yourself is *perhaps* a dangerous thing to do and *perhaps* BB should have at least attempted to dissuade her. But fuck it, it gets the figures, so maybe not.

I take your point, but there are differences between the two situations. The first was a case of one individual taking advantage of another and potentially causing harm. The second was an individual potentially causing harm to herself. In the first case, the producers were guided by clearish legal guidelines around non-consenting sexual molestation. In the second - masturbation in a non-public place (and it's my understanding that the interior of the House is considered non-public for legal purposes) - there are no legal guidelines (so long as what's filmed complies with broadcasting guidelines on 'obscenity').

We have failed to establish that inserting a bottle into one's vagina is so dangerous that it requires intervention on health terms alone. From my own vague recollection of 'foreign bodies in orifices', the vacuum thing's more a feature of the rectum. The possibility of Anthony choking on his vomit when pissed is probably more potentially dangerous.
 
 
Warewullf
20:01 / 03.08.05
Anthony needs Supernanny.

Oh Gods, I'd love to see that...


if it had been a man and a drunken woman, there may have been some more severe intervention

What if it had been a woman and a drunken man? Would it have been as predatory and nasty or would it have been cringe-worthy?
 
 
Ganesh
20:05 / 03.08.05
What if it had been a woman and a drunken man? Would it have been as predatory and nasty or would it have been cringe-worthy?

I doubt straight men would've found it as disturbing, without the Warren Ellisesque spectre of potential arse-invasion while drunkenly powerless to resist...
 
 
Ganesh
20:08 / 03.08.05
Of course, the fact that it was Makosi lecturing Kinga on appropriate behaviour within the Big Brother House was rather rich. The edited highlights actually missed out a good chunk of the 'you're a role model for young people' stuff, which almost made me lose concentration and ingest my Coke.

But then, I've been finding Makosi increasingly unpalatable, to the point where she's second only to Craig in Ganesh's Most Hated. She not only stirs and colludes when she might reasonably help the situation (encouraging Craig's persecutory delusions, discouraging Eugene from intervening in ViolateGate) but she flirts with causing people major distress (the 'I might be pregnant'/'I've had an abortion'/'Anthony, there's something I have to tell you before one or other of us leaves the House'). At best, she's heeyooogely irresponsible.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
20:14 / 03.08.05
Cos, a vacuum in your minny, that's dangerous. That's all.

Look. If your penis is thinner than the stem of a wine bottle, you are in gigantic trouble. Really. This is about unbroken seals.
 
 
Triplets
20:17 / 03.08.05
I think, on a lizard hind-brain level, that it all depends on the physical disparity between the groper and the gropee. If the one doin the noncing up is physically more powerful and - importantly - willing to use that power then it's sets off the predator alarm, regardless of the genders involved.

The only thing is, if you were tallying all that up on a 0-100 scale if the groper has a penis he/she gets an automatic 30 points added on for penetrorape potential.
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
20:23 / 03.08.05
Gigantic trouble?

Hmm.
 
 
Ganesh
20:24 / 03.08.05
Pants on head. Hilaaarious. Wackaday wackaday wackaday.

Kingathay Mallett slays 'em in the aisles. Side Nurse to Borehamwood, with suture-pack! Stat!

Craig doesn't regret a single thing he's done in the Big Brother House. That'll be because he's somewhere in Cluster B, then.
 
 
Ganesh
20:27 / 03.08.05
The only thing is, if you were tallying all that up on a 0-100 scale if the groper has a penis he/she gets an automatic 30 points added on for penetrorape potential.

True. Certain 'backs to the wall' males, however (*coughwarrenelliscough*), would add a lot more than 30, though.
 
 
Haus of Mystery
20:28 / 03.08.05
Perhaps everyone could experiment with wine bottles tonight, and we'll swap notes tomorrow.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
20:34 / 03.08.05
Looks like we're about to have more "Craig man, you're me mate but you've got to stop, man" fun and games. I wonder if Smaigol will once again tell Master Antho that "it's OVER!"...
 
 
Ganesh
20:38 / 03.08.05
Can't help but think Makosi's searching for reasons to argue with Eugene in order to justify her in-the-space-of-one-week turnaround from 'he really entertains me, I want Eugene to be there at the end with me' to nominating him for eviction.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
20:39 / 03.08.05
I really have reached that stage where every second, every micro-second, that I see Craig on the TV is akin to being dangled by my heels over a pit filled with acid, spikes and rancid effluent. Hearing him speak is like being dunked into this pit up to my ears.

And yet, those moments when Anthony crushes his vile little soul a piece at a time just by no longer indulging his awfulness any longer... They give me hope.
 
 
Ganesh
20:42 / 03.08.05
I wonder if Smaigol will once again tell Master Antho that "it's OVER!"...

Mmm. Disagreeing with him = "speaking to me like shit". Why does Anthony have to be so fucking apologetic with the passive-aggressive little shitbag. Why doesn't he just punch him? This happens every evening, until the two of us are baying at the screen.
 
 
Ganesh
20:46 / 03.08.05
And yet, those moments when Anthony crushes his vile little soul a piece at a time just by no longer indulging his awfulness any longer... They give me hope.

I'm sorry to leech your hope, Flyboy, but Anthony crushes his own soul every time he apologises or accepts Craig's 'I'm not apologising for what I said' non-apologies - and he does. Anthony just isn't equipped to deal with Craig's full-spectrum victimy manipulation. I can only hope that, after he leaves the House, Craig is the recipient of such concentrated hate that he's forced to don a puffa jacket and run for the Tube.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
20:47 / 03.08.05
Even without all the prior Craig/Anthony shenanigans, even if it was just based on the argument in the pool, even if he wasn't a whining little cockturd and a frightening sexual predator, JUST ON THAT VERY OCCASION WITHOUT EVEN TAKING ANYTHING ELSE INTO CONSIDERATION Craig clearly deserved the bollocking Anthony gave him. I thought he was far too lenient, myself.
 
 
Ganesh
20:51 / 03.08.05
But.

Craig.

Will.

Continue.

Passive-

Aggressive.

Water.

Torture.

Me.

Me.

Me.

Sustained.

Warfare.

Until.

Anthony.

Finally.

Relents.

And.

Hugs.

Him.

Despite.

Everything.

Meaning.

Craig's.

Won.

Again.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
20:51 / 03.08.05
Kinga = Shelob in this analogy, obviously.

[OH GOD SHUT UP AND DIE CRAIG.]

Are there nominations next week or are we at the end? I dearly hope it's the former, so that Anthony will get to finally nominate him.

Watching now, it seems Anthony's fragile mind is finally snapping like a twig. "Can we end this, Craig? Please?" It can only end in DEATH, Anthony.

Also, this was ace:
Craig: "I'm not a dog."
Anthony: "Nobody's said that, Craig."
Maxwell, on BBLB weeks ago: "Craig's great, he's so loyal - he's like a dog."

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I now wish that Anthony had been evicted weeks ago and either Maxwell or Swastika had been left in with Craig: because either of them would, I think, have turned on Craig by now, and committed an act of brutal but richly deserved physical violence upon his person.
 
 
tea and biscuits
21:29 / 03.08.05
My main issue against Anthony for BB6 Winnar is that it would in some way validate Craig and I don't think I want to live in a world (famine and terrorism aside) which does that.
 
 
Ganesh
21:33 / 03.08.05
My main issue against Anthony for BB6 Winnar is that it would in some way validate Craig

Only in Craig's (admittedly huuuuuuge) head. The rest of the Great British Public - even, I suspect, Craig's own family - would be under no illusions that Anthony had won as a result of demonstrating superhuman patience in the face of Craig.
 
  

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