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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

Big Brother 2004

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01:01 / 05.06.04

oh, absolutely, it looked like a an octopus mauling a mannequin.

Indeed. There's definitely something of the mollusc about her and something inanimate about him.

We don't need to page Dr Freud for analysis of that body-language.

Perhaps when she gives up and acquiesces to Victor's leg-humping, or in the half-hour between her eviction and departure, he'll decide he's always loved her, and pine in an angstily unrequited manner. That'd seal the Barbe-deal for me.

He definitely needs to stop 'going with the flow' and letting the Mollusc suck his face. The longer he leaves it, the worse it's gonna get...

01:09 / 05.06.04

oy, don't you be homoppressing u--

Oh, c'mon. You know I'm talking about the distinctly anodyne Posh Blondes who, while nice enough, are largely unremarkable - save for the occasional flash of bare buttock or Victor's-trouser-tenting same-sex kiss.

Flotsam.

Goodness Gracious Meme

01:14 / 05.06.04

That picture's horrific. He's got his arms crossed over his torso, for chrissakes.

That'd seal the Barbe-deal for me.

It'd have to be after after caving to *DNA*, so that they could have an extremely messy and drawn-out aftermath.

The longer he leaves it, the worse it's gonna get...

Wouldn't it be great if he got ultimately passive-aggressive and started trying to get her out, rather than attempting to solve it himself?

Oh, and on inanimate, god yeah; he is, without doubt, Smooth and Hairless down below.

Goodness Gracious Meme

01:17 / 05.06.04

I know, I know. Couldn't resist. I think the appallingly-done 'queer it up' element of this year's BB is pne the things that I'm addicted to.

Go back to dreaming of Spambot, poof.

01:25 / 05.06.04

I know, I know. Couldn't resist. I think the appallingly-done 'queer it up' element of this year's BB is pne the things that I'm addicted to.

Oh, me too. I was just saying to Xoc today that I actually reckon the 'poofs and dykes and bis and trannies together' thing is, in its own way, incredibly positive - however appallingly executed. It creates a different dynamic from the usual 'token homo amongst hets' scenario, allowing viewers to see some of the shades of grey, and perhaps giving some insight into what it's like to be in a sexual minority.

Just wish the bi-folks would alpha-bi it up a bit...

Go back to dreaming of Spambot, poof.

Heh. Watchable as it is, I don't think there's anyone fanciable this year. Maybe if Stuart were to lose the hair...

Goodness Gracious Meme

01:33 / 05.06.04

I'm very glad to hear that, re Spam. I somehow doubted it.

Even with my bi-curious proclivities, I don't find any of them remotely hunky.

More totty, please, Endemol.

And yeah, have been discussing the 'queered up BB' with various folk, and I'd cautiously agree. Nadia, for example, is coming across perfectly well, and the interaction between/highlighting of various speicies of queers is probably unprecedented on primetime telly...

There's a cumulative effect of the variety working against the usual 'token queer' routine...

Having said that, I'll be breaking in there myself and throttling the Bi-try-Barbies any minute now...

Goodness Gracious Meme

01:35 / 05.06.04

And where's the ROMANCE?

01:45 / 05.06.04

the interaction between/highlighting of various speicies of queers is probably unprecedented on primetime telly...

There's a cumulative effect of the variety working against the usual 'token queer' routine...

That's what I was trying to say. I think it's interesting, also, that heterosexual-identifying people are in the minority in the Big Brother house; it contrasts hugely with the all-straight, all-dead crowd last year.

Talking of Spambo, it seems he was threatening to leave because he was asked, by Big Brother to remove his baseball cap (presumably because the peak was hiding his face from the cameras), and he refused because his hair was flat. It's yet another example of how much his eggshell-fragile self-esteem is invested in his physical appearance, and provoking admiration (or, at least, attention). His chats with Dan seem to be moving beyond that; it'll be interesting to see whether he's able to shed any light on the tiny, squirming ego beneath those slabs of barbecue-roasted muscle.

01:48 / 05.06.04

And where's the ROMANCE?

Y'mean you don't find the 'octopus prising open an oyster only to find it's a rock' footage rrromantic?

Tom Tit's Tot: A Girl!

09:26 / 05.06.04

Perhaps when she gives up and acquiesces to Victor's leg-humping, or in the half-hour between her eviction and departure, he'll decide he's always loved her, and pine in an angstily unrequited manner. That'd seal the Barbe-deal for me.

I'm sorry, there are lots of things that could define a BarbeFolke, but inaction and silence isn't one of them, IMO. I would expect one of us to at least say something interesting.

Perhaps Fagbangle calls Team Virgin 'chicken' because he's a total fuckin' pussy? Jesus Christ, stick it in already, Stu!

Or perhaps the boy's just nervous about losing his virginity on nationwide Television?

Just wish the bi-folks would alpha-bi it up a bit...

In my (admittedly very limited) experience of them, Alpha-Bi's usually only pop up when everyone is too lazy or submissive to get anything done. And they usually -hate- the responsibility.

09:36 / 05.06.04

I'm sorry, there are lots of things that could define a BarbeFolke, but inaction and silence isn't one of them, IMO. I would expect one of us to at least say something interesting.

Oh, falling in love with unattainable objects of desire is something of a popular pastime for several of the Conversation Barbeloids. If Stuart had access to an online message-board, he'd probably say all kinds of interesting things.

Or perhaps the boy's just nervous about losing his virginity on nationwide Television?

Perhaps he needs to "realign" his thoughts in the direction of effectively communicating this to the Mollusc, then, before he's choked by her slimy, smothering embrace...

Goodness Gracious Meme

11:14 / 05.06.04

In my (admittedly very limited) experience of them, Alpha-Bi's usually only pop up when everyone is too lazy or submissive to get anything done. And they usually -hate- the responsibility.

care to expand on that? Are we still talking BB steretypes or Real Life now?

Goodness Gracious Meme

11:40 / 05.06.04

Oh, falling in love with unattainable objects of desire is something of a popular pastime for many of the Conversation Barbeloids.

Wouldn't that make Dan a prime candidate? and he has slight magical/mystical leanings...

15:16 / 05.06.04

In Stuart's defence, she is a bit dreadful though, isn't she ? It'd be one thing, I imagine, if he'd met her on an " ironic " Team Public School C***s trip to the local nite spot, but it's quite another if it's all going to go out on national TV. Which, to his credit, he still seems vaguely aware of. Though I still hope they get it together, purely for the agonising conversation the morning after.

15:57 / 05.06.04

Here's something that bothered me last night: If one of the people who is a BB plant/Endemol employee sleeps with someone else, does that make them:
a) a sex worker - as they are being paid to seduce people
b) a rapist - if they are not who they claim to be, does that impact on the nature of consent?

16:02 / 05.06.04

Cube, that sort of thinking is just sooo 20th century, guy. I'm, like, get with the programme. I'm like, hello ?

16:33 / 05.06.04

I'm just so like, if you wanna make it, you've gotta fake it, yeah ? I just am so totally doing work experience on Channel 4. ( But my father worked jolly hard for that money, I'll have you know. )

16:57 / 05.06.04

I really don't understand all this talk about 'plants'. They're all plants. Each them won highly contested positions at Endemol, following extensive job interviews. Their role, along with their colleagues in the production office, is to make a 10 week live entertainment series. They're paid according to their ability to attract deals with newspapers and magazines. They would have been selected for their ability to manage themselves in this capacity, and I can't see why Endemol would need/want any of them to require special supervision.
Plants? Who needs them?

19:19 / 05.06.04

SY, you KNOW TOO MUCH

Madman in the ruins.

19:30 / 05.06.04

Tonights Live Task.
Acting like a 14 year old in a playground, Wheres Kitten when you need her?

Can somone explain to Victor that you don't have to wear a beanie hat and a safety helmet at the same time.

Tryphena Absent

15:34 / 06.06.04

Just wish the bi-folks would alpha-bi it up a bit...

*blinks* God, no thanks, it would be such an ugly and sordid and uncomfortable thing to watch.

That or it would be amazing.

21:52 / 06.06.04

I'm actually starting to warm to some of these people now, God help me.

The Natural Way

22:46 / 06.06.04

No, Jub, the Old Dear's not working on BB this time round. Thankfully. Really took the wind out of her last summer.

Oh, and Randy, yr right: every. fucking. year.

The more I watch, the more this looks like it's a big pile of sociological experiment balls.
There seem to be very few real people in there. Fagbangle is a fake, bandana boy is a fake, Emma ("what's that brothers and sisters song?" -It's MARRS you bint, but the producers are too coked up to realise you are too young to remember it...) likewise. They are there to test the others out. These I am pretty damn clear on.
The rest. Not sure yet.
The more I watch, the more I am convinced that Kitten Kwire (and, possibly, Ahmed and Victor) is the only non-actor in the bunch. She reacts realistically, even if that realism is kinda borderline [insert-psychosis-here].
I stick by my prediction of KK to win as the rest contractually cannot (being employees of Endemol).

Please, for God's sake, Shuhuuuuuuuut UP!

23:50 / 06.06.04

I think our cats are actors. I just caught them hitting the Vaseline.

Oh yeah, and I knew Marco's 'oooh, a kitchen!' posturing reminded me of something...

08:00 / 07.06.04

At one stage, whilst watching a video monitor of live action from the house including Michelle changing, a male member of production staff is heard to say "Go on Michelle, get 'em out love, go on, ohhh - too late. Awww - OK so you'll give a bloke head on telly but you won't show us your nips. Fine. No puppies for Christmas."

The member of staff then suggests Michelle should have covered her face with her bikini instead of wearing it - "Cos she's got a face like a bulldog licking p*** off a thistle".

From - Oops

There seem to have been quite a few mistakes this year, I heard someone giving Big Brother instructions the other night....

08:16 / 07.06.04

Good to see Kitten sticking by her principles and NOT dressing up like Catwoman for the News of the World - published, remember, by the same people who do The Sun, for which esteemed organ Kitten reserved two fingers as she left the BB house.

Oh, hang on a minute...

08:17 / 07.06.04

I am an anarchiste!

Goodness Gracious Meme

11:21 / 07.06.04

gawd.

Regrettable Juvenilia

12:31 / 07.06.04

That pic looks photoshopped as fuck.

12:34 / 07.06.04

Perhaps she's 'using the enemy'? You know, 'subverting the system from within'? Ever heard of that, Mr Holier-than-Thou more-left-wing-than-Trotsky-on-a-bong menshevik? Oh yes, your sort are always so keen to go on about your principles, but how many heads of state have principles assassinated, eh? Infiltrating the News of the Screws is a messy ethical situation, true, but ends justify the means and The Revolution is the ultimate end. If every lesbian in the country must dress up in leather and prance around for Murdoch to bring about the downfall of capitalism, then that is still a small price to pay, comrades! All power to the Soviets!

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

12:50 / 07.06.04

Actually, she was on BBLB (as it likes to be known) and she said that she was trying to get enough money together to leave the country, which was the only reason she did whatever she did for the papers. You may as well get paid for them to write about you, seeing as they will do whatever you do... (for now).

Still, tres funny.

13:20 / 07.06.04

Marriche: Please, for God's sake, Shuhuuuuuuuut UP!

Well, quoting in full a post made several days ago is probably not the best way to make things go away.

But thanks for your well argued and eloquent critcism, and thanks again for all your other contributions to the thread.

13:46 / 07.06.04

And not sure if this should go here or in the "words you only see in tabloid newspapers" thread but credit where it's due to the Screws for beginning a sentence: "And the gobby lesbian..."

The Natural Way

13:48 / 07.06.04

Cube, I just don't want to bore anyone else with the "TV peeps aren't as devious, machiavellian, capable or clever as you seem to think they are!" rant that I have to churn out every year. If you'd seen my Mother and the producers in their floral skirts discussing their God Children etc and generally being very nice and boring like most of us are, you'd soon dump all the exciting, paranoid, "LOOK! SEE! COCAINE AND ACTORS!" stuff. Take it from someone who knows: it doesn't work that way.

I'm sorry if you found me curt and sarky, but I can't tell you how much this POV irritates me. I'm sure you are a lovely person with a lovely face and head.

yawn - thing's buddy

14:11 / 07.06.04

ha ha - joke's on you marriche.

cube's not a real barbelith poster - he's an....

....actor.

cut your hair.

jathink we've seen the best of this show already?

got that feeling.

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