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Big Brother 2004

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23:02 / 22.07.04

Working 'til 11 tonight, but my lovely Xoccy Horizontal has taped the whole painful farrago. And what a farrago-and-a-half it is!

Alright, so Shell's ingrained doormattedness annoys me, but Victor's behaviour was offhand and boorish from the start. What was all that arsey tittering/snottering during his part of the wedding vows? And he was casually rude to Shell throughout. Add the lowering threat of "straight-talking" later in the day, and I'm not surprised Shell cracked.

Dan did a reasonably good job of at least attempting to be fair, pointing out that Ahmed was ostracised for sitting out part of the task, and trying to get Shell in for the first dance.

"Victor, you're a fucking cunt, but I'm going to dance with you anyway." Straight-talking, non? A little too straight for Prick?

It's not so much that he retaliated - no-one, after all, likes to be called a cunt - but the fact that he retaliated with such force ("YOU'RE A FUCKING CUNT... DICKHEAD... FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE!!" - mm-hmmm, re-e-eal slick) and at such length. As with Emma, when he started the shoutysweary stuff, he seemed unable to stop. Was it sneaky editing, or did he rant solidly for at least half an hour? He certainly appeared to be bellowing at Shell, at Dan, at the house in general - and it was all such crap. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" seemed Wildean by comparison.

I suspect part of the reason the Spamster was so silent was that he was slightly shocked. His own behaviour around women is clumsy and inappropriate, but I think even he was a tad surprised to hear Mr Slick scream at a woman that she's a "dickhead"...

'Course, Shell reverted to type fairly quickly, doling out apologies, hugs and tending-toward-cloying niceness all round. Just a pity (having watched the late-night live footage) she later seemed so ready to swallow the Jungle Twat credo by way of 'explanation'.

So... do we reckon Victor might steal the eviction out from under Jayboy's ginger nose?

00:26 / 23.07.04

Do we reckon Victor might steal the eviction...

It's going to be interesting to see. Cetainly watching the live coverage last night ( after THE argument, during which Shell, after calling Victor a cunt, seemed to handle herself pretty well I thought, forcing Victor by reasons of constant niceness to admit that she'd " made him feel bad, " and in fact like the utter cockhorse he so demonstrably is, while at the same time making sure that she and Victor were the focus of attention, unlike the Spam-thing, and poor-Dan, and like Stuart-and-the-Octopus. If Victor is " playing the game, " and as much as I loathe him, I'd be very surprised if he left on Friday.

So vote Victor, I think. Just Say No.

Jason, on the other hand ( and at this stage is tough to refer to him as Spambot, poor guy, ) is totally fucked.

00:31 / 23.07.04

Ganesh, look close at Jay's face when Vic responds/screams to Dan's offer of a cup of tea. For a second, there's a flash of Spambotic realisation of how much of a total prick Slick Vic is.

It's about fucking time.

07:09 / 23.07.04

I agree that's how it looked, Anti-Dad. I also thought that was something of a 'torrrn between two lovers' moment, with Jayboy realising that he'd neglected something of genuine value (Dan's close friendship) in favour of Mr Slick - who, at that point (having bellowed slightly bizarre genital-related obscenities at Shell for what seemed like the best part of an hour, was now screaming at the offer of a cup of tea) was much more Prick than Slick. For a moment, it seemed like he glimpsed the gulf between the theory of VicWorld and its reality; the shakiness of its foundations.

And yet...

On the night of the big wedding fight, I was watching the live C4 footage at 2am or thereabouts. Shell had gone from handling herself with righteous assertiveness to listening patiently while Victor expounded his theories at length, on Why Dan Is Crap, Why Nadia Cannot Be Trusted, etc., etc. - with Shell nodding and "really?"ing all the while.

And with Jason backing him up to the hilt, providing a unified Jungle Twat front. So, while the Spamster may have gained a brief flash of insight, it doesn't seem to have lasted. Which is a shame.

07:45 / 23.07.04

I part-wondered if the cup of tea offer was Dan doing that ‘psychotic distraction’ thing, trying to throw Victor off. But he would not be swayed, he was going to do some more straight-talking. Or, as it’s more commonly known, shouting cliches and insults. At a woman. Again. Given that the majority of people who vote for evictions are said to be female, I’d imagine this could make tonight’s a more close-run thing that it might have been a couple of days ago. Should be interesting.

07:50 / 23.07.04

No, I think the cup of tea offer was a 'normalising/defusing' tactic: calmly distracts from the argument at hand, but also a straightforward courtesy which can serve to bring the anger down a notch. I've seen it used many times (and used it myself) in shouty, or potentially-shouty psychiatric situations.

Victor, though, was beyond it.

08:17 / 23.07.04

According to the latest odds Jason is still 5.5 times more likely to go than Victor. Of course there's probably a time lag on the odds as people take Victor's drama queen over-reaction hostility into account.

08:56 / 23.07.04

I think there's probably too large a groundswell of accumulated Spamtagonism for it to be overturned at this stage, even by Victor's boorish prickery. Victor's also quite good at subsequent damage limitation, papering over the cracks - so people have a tendency to forget quite how much of a cunt he can be.

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

09:31 / 23.07.04

I can't not vote for Victor, now.

I like Dan a lot more, now. Whoever it was that mentioned the economical/susbstantial nature of his remarks (to Victor, etc) was dead on. I enjoyed that a lot, and it really showed STRAIGHT TALKAAAAH (actually, I'm just rude - great! Let's co-habit!) to be even more of a great arse that I had previously imagined and in fact showed his arsey ways could BLOCK OUT THE SUN.

Come and play with google, Victor. Bring it! WHO ARE YOU, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? We've got a lot of characters kicking about. KICKING. ABOUT! Can you handle the hardships? I'd give him two weeks before the obligatory "I love a girl and she loves me but she's getting married/leaving the country/won't leave her man - why does she ignore the SLICK MAN?" conversation topic, where he bemoans not being able "to do his thing". And that women laugh when he demands they shave him.

09:41 / 23.07.04

If you are reading this, Victor, you're a fucking cunt.

Bent-talkaaah!

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

10:18 / 23.07.04

Oooh, you part time hitman, you.

10:51 / 23.07.04

Ganesh, are you also a nash rapper?

Regrettable Juvenilia

11:21 / 23.07.04

Yeah, I think Victor's sealed his fate as one of the next two to go now...

As 'Nesh says, he is very good at making people forget how bad he can be - myself included - and I'd argue that this is because when he knows he's being daft, his patter is actually amusing. What was it he said during nominations? "Six in the house, one in the game" (?) - and then pointed at himself with both hands and grinned goofily... Anyone who doesn't think he did the "mess with me, get RIP... Can we have some milk and bread please?" thing on purpose is also underestimating him IMHO.

(Although I don't think all his malapropisms are deliberate - "let's wait and see what transgresses tonight!")

BUT - when he loses his temper and starts shouting in a very intimidating manner (usually at women), he becomes the least likeable person in the house by a mile. And I can't believe he dared to do the whole wrongly-injured-party, "what did I say?" routine after telling the Diary Room that he intended to cause trouble a few hours earlier...

Shell may still be a bit too quick to concede ground (why did she let herself get drawn into that who-nominated-who conversation?), and Victor's later apologies and regrets seem genuine, but there's really no contest in terms of who came out worst. Thought Dan acquited himself very well though.

19:06 / 23.07.04

Yay, Davina says the lead has changed in the last twenty four hours. Only a few thousand in it. My loathing for fucken Jason is so vast too but he can go next week. Victor deserves a good smack for his utter c***ishness this week. Either way, the champagne's in the fridge chilling and it was worth dragging myself home from that nice new gay bar to celebrate the eviction! A Jungle Cat will be erased either way, yay! Ganesh is busy on repeat dial...

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

19:14 / 23.07.04

He's got my first vote for this series.

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

19:28 / 23.07.04

Best vote ever.

19:31 / 23.07.04

VICTOR OOOOOUUUUUTTTT!!!

I am so happy...

(Guess those thirty or forty votes didn't go amiss.)

19:34 / 23.07.04

But fuck, people must've really hated Vic's wedding behaviour - and he'll be in absolutely no doubt that he did it to himself (and that's what really hurts). And, out of four housemates, he's the loser. Let's say that again, in case Mr Ebuwa's reading. Loser. Loooooser.

And Spambo's left with no comforting VicWorld, and only Dan to provide solace...

Glad we've got two bottles of champagne chilling.

20:12 / 23.07.04

"Why the fuck are they booing?"

It'd have been so cool if Davina had said, "because you're a fucking cunt, Victor".

20:22 / 23.07.04

My girlfriend's mate went to college with him, an dstill sees him on and off.

Apparently he's a cock... ya know, irl.

20:25 / 23.07.04

They should've ended that 'Sweet Love' montage with a shot of him beaning Emma. Cunt.

Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa Victor Ebuwa

20:30 / 23.07.04

Guys, get your bets in on Nadia. The female contingent has spoken.

20:34 / 23.07.04

So Fight Night's not just glossed over, but completely written out of BB history?

What was going on at the end, btw? Is it a free-for-all eviction next week? I wasn't paying a huge amount of attention there.

20:34 / 23.07.04

Not a lot of Selfawaria there, which is kinda normal for a Davina interview. She's not exactly Paxman.

Victor clearly couldn't sit in the one place without swivelling in his seat and chewing the fucking toothpick. I was kinda hoping they'd show a montage of him and Jason, with something appropriately batty-boyish over the top - but clearly Davina didn't want him to scream "dickhead" at her for an hour.

I'm intrigued to see how the Spam/Dan relationship progresses this week. Realistically, a week's all the Spamster's gonna get...

20:41 / 23.07.04

Suprised/not suprised at the Nadia love.

On the one hand she's seems like a cool cat, on the other hand joy that Britain's voting for an Otherosexual.

Jason gone next week. Michelle and Stu appeal to the teeny-dreamy crowd but people who like that angle will have to split their votes between them, Dan is nice but, to be fair to Vic, HAS fence sat too much. Shell too.

EN AY DEE EYE AY

20:43 / 23.07.04

Dan has not sat on the fence! He's tried to be fair. There's a difference.

20:53 / 23.07.04

I'm still at work so I've not seen the show yet but I couldn't resist checking in at Barbelith. So the Milkman has delivered himself out of the house. Fuck Yes!!

I wish I'd bet on Jason not to go now as the he was so far out in the lead that bookies wouldn't even give you odds on his eviction.

Victor will probably not be visiting here as a Google search on his name finds Barbelith way down on page 8. Damn it. Hopefully he'll get some homo-paranoia piss-taking on BBLB, that's more Dermot's style than Davina's.

Any "Real Man" can fucking shave themselves for god's sake.

03:21 / 24.07.04

Has anyone else figured that Dan looks/looked a bit like Pee Wee Hermann ?

10:31 / 24.07.04

Actually, I thought Dan + make-up = Jerry Hall circa Roxy Music photo.

10:42 / 24.07.04

And, within 24 hours of Mr Sick's departure, Jayboy's complimenting Dan on his bone structure, reminiscing about his time in the Navy and singing 'I Will Survive'.

How queer...

Whisky Priestess

11:58 / 24.07.04

Just watching the repeat of Friday's episode and I'm getting more and more delighted with the BB tactics this year: waking all the housemates up the mornign after the catastrophic wedding task with "Shaddapa Your Face": genius.

Brings back happy memories of this thread

14:51 / 24.07.04

'Shaddup Your Face'. Truly inspired. The Big Brother producers have certainly upped their game this year and made it my favourite of all five series. Whilst I wouldn't say they've been 'Evil' this year they have made some cruel decisions that have made for better viewing.

I may be reading too much into but I'm convinced that they chose a wedding task because of the budding romance between Michelle and Stu knowing that Stu would find it uncomfortable and Michelle would be insanely eager to marry him.

The bedsit idea was genius as was the military weekly task.

Tryphena Absent

16:31 / 24.07.04

But fuck, people must've really hated Vic's wedding behaviour

When I was sitting watching it I knew that he'd be out. Every idealistic straight woman in the country picked up that phone because Shell, poor thing, was crying in a wedding dress.

Goodness Gracious Meme

19:28 / 24.07.04

See, I'm watching the repeats, and it's now absolutely joyous watching Jason and Victor scowl in bed.

Ha. Ha. HA.

Goodness Gracious Meme

19:34 / 24.07.04

I *heart* BB repeats. can't *wait* to see it.

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