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The miserable thread

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14:58 / 21.03.07

God, that's hard. Some friends of mine were recently in a very similar situation (amicable split), but they got through it. Now they're both happily ensconced in lovely new residences.

Disco is My Class War

00:16 / 22.03.07

Thanks Boboss. Congrats on your new house. It looks awesome!

Hallo, Paper Spaceboy

00:28 / 22.03.07

I do not like days at work when people misinterpret why you're taking issue with something and coming across as a bit of a flailing neurotic, especially when one of the people in question will be interviewing you for a new permanent position in a few weeks time. I do not like this at all. I do not like the neurotic stomach clutch, either.

01:13 / 22.03.07

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Try as I might, I cannot get rid of whatever illness is plaguing me. My frickin' throat is on fire. Please God, make it stop!

22:18 / 22.03.07

This should probably be a cross-post with the happy thread. But the misery of morning sickness is eclipsing the happy of being pregnant, so here I am.

People tell me the nausea goes away eventually. It's hard to believe them. I feel like I've always been nauseous and always will. And I don't want to tell my workplace yet so I just have to soldier on, pretending that I don't feel like I'm about to spew all over my keyboard every five minutes.

Poor me.

Disco is My Class War

00:32 / 23.03.07

Sending huggles for sorenson.

14:30 / 23.03.07

Soreson that's crap. My SO's morning sickness arrived about week 6 and didn't bugger off until week 15. Luckily she didn't have it that bad - it usually wore off around lunch time - although I can't imagine what it must be like to get up and face yet another nausea infused day. It's pretty awe inspiring actually. You are pretty awe inspiring.

I think people just don't take morning sickness seriously enough, frankly.

14:55 / 23.03.07

Well, congrats on the infanticipating! Sorry to hear the morning sickness got a hold of you tho. Mrs. Monk had it pretty bad when she was carrying our little one too. Someone recommended Ginger Altoids to help tamp down the sickies, and they worked pretty well for her. Give 'em a try if you can find 'em. I think we had a little trouble locating them here in the States, but we stocked up when we did. Best of luck!

Shouldn't raise too much suspicion at work either.

15:15 / 23.03.07

We had no luck with anything other than carb-rich bland foods, and even then we didn't have much luck. One of shocking things about Morning sickness is just how little you can actually do about it.

A friend of mine who recently had a baby had appalling morning sickness and a whole host of other not so minor ailments that in combination managed to cover the majority of her pregnancy. Her tenacity absolutely amazed me.

15:49 / 23.03.07

there seems ot be some suggestions around B vit and the morning sickness. Maybe ask your healthcare folks what kind of B supplement is safe to take and see if it helps?

15:50 / 23.03.07

You know what I've got hidden in my kitchen at home?

Dark chocolate-covered ginger Altoids.

They're primal.

You might also find some joy from this:

which is blandly starchy as well as being gingery,

or this:

which you can make at home or buy at the Asian grocery.

ONLY NICE THINGS

16:01 / 23.03.07

I know it's not the wrong thread, but the ginger root on that tin reminded me of tigger, which gave me a happy.

19:29 / 23.03.07

Dark chocolate-covered ginger Altoids.

i have no idea what an altoid is, but oh my god that sounds fucking delicious! i adore ginger and chocolate...and i can get those other ginger lollies from the local asian grocery - i forgot about them. i reckon they'll be good.

i'm taking B6 and ginger tablets three times a day (recommended by my herbalist), but they don't seem to be doing much (they might be stopping it from being worse though).

i'm like Boboss's SO - bland, carbohydratey, greasy foods are doing it for me (a bit alarming for the pregnancy weight gain). i've had another tip to try and get more protein into me, so it's off to the shops today to get fruches and yoghurts and any other tiny packets of protein i can think of.

my partner, who is now 6 months pregnant, had it too - she's been a beacon of coaching and strength. i am very lucky. and so many women have it so much worse than i did, and i am so grateful to be pregnant (according to plan, even, which is rare in this world!) - i feel a bit churlish complaining. that said, it's fucking awful and i wouldn't wish it on anyone.

thanks for all your tips and congrats.

Withiel: DALI'S ROTTWEILER

01:23 / 24.03.07

"Ah, I see you're manifesting bipolar spectrum symptoms. Really, what you need to do is stop drinking, smoking and staying up late, excercise properly, have proper meals, and take frighteningly powerful antipsychotic drugs."

"Hello there! Remember how you designed that poster for free for us that was to a very specific brief so it wouldn't look exactly like every other theatre poster in the city? Well, I'm your new producer and I want you to make it look exactly like every other theatre poster in the city. Now. And pay special attention to erasing every trace of the writer/director's original concept, because otherwise you'll not only have to do your job twice for no money, but you'll end up with something that actually fits the play we're putting on!!"

"It's very important that you send us concept sketches every day, so that we can have the most organic process possible, and work ever so intimately together. However, you will have to work this out with the psychic powers that all designers have, because we're not going to email you for at least four days at a time."

"Your current balance is £3.53p"

I would cry, but I'm afraid my head would deflate or become radioactive or something.

22:54 / 24.03.07

It seems that all I feel like ever posting to is the miserable thread. It seems I should've made some different choices more recently and throughout my life in general.
Balls.

Make me Uncomfortable

02:09 / 25.03.07

URG. Fuck. My roommates are being frustrating, and my friends all dropped out and moved out of town, and I can't find the AIM screename of the person I really want to talk to, and I just want to cry, but for the past few years some internal barrier has always prevented me from crying, even though I want so badly to let it all out.

It's too hot now- winter is ending and everything is getting uncomfortably warm for me, although I do enjoy the rain a lot.

I'm in a group project making a video, and the other two people just flaked out on me less than thirty minutes before we were supposed to meet, and the thing is due thursday, and I just know that we are going to do an hour and a half of filming tuesday and I'm going to end up editing the thing (and adding diacritic sound) all of wednesday and thursday morning, while they do, well, nothing. And I know i'm going to let myself do it, and let them take far more credit than they deserve. Urgh!

21:40 / 26.03.07

I'm not miserable. I'm just. I'm just very (maybe too) disturbed about this. Does that count?

So, you know, "The Greatest Portuguese" was always held as just a game. How could it be more? Just a chance to chew up some history, try and remind the Portuguese of their national narrative, that sort of thing.

But then. But then they started counting down to the top three, and I realized that Salazar hadn't yet turned up. I laughed out loud nervously. And then, by 41% of the vote, he won.

I'm not really gonna bother trying to write up about him; I've tried twice and started babbling. He was a dictator, and Wikipedia is your friend.

And you see, it was a game. Just a fun historical game. Yeah. And they say that most of it must have been protest votes agains PS, the party currently in power.

Sure. But it's hard not to read into it. It becomes harder when you realize those participating seemed to think it more important to "protest" the current government (by complimenting A. Fucking. Dictator.), than to make clear their opposition to the Partido Nacional Renovador ("National Renovative Party"), right-wing fuckwits with ties to the Skinheads, who are now popping up on the news. Actually, just a few days back, at a university in Lisbon, students were stopped from making an anti-fascist mural by cops, and were "invited" out, while Skins took photos of them and paraded around campus. Meanwhile, between my uni and the pharmacy faculty, there's a recent one against the "gay lobby", signed by the Nationalist Youth. And in the "faculdade de Letras", there's a PNR list for,if I'm not confused, president of the student association.

And then you see Salazar applauded on the TV. And then, you know, maybe it's paranoid, maybe it's silly. But then, it gets kinda scary and messed-up. Because it seems profoundly fucked-up as a symbol.

Then, you don't know if you're kinda sad, kinda pissed-off, kinda nauseated or just suddenly feeling a strong need to get the fuck out of this lunatic country.

But hey. It was just! a! game!

Our Lady Has Left the Building

00:06 / 27.03.07

So, what have we got?

I've changed jobs, which the last few weeks of building up to have been slowly increasing apprehension and panic, the fall-out of which being two nights, so far, with no sleep.
I don't see my friends any more.
I'm generally staying away from Barbelith because it tends to add to my negative feelings.
I'm losing my counsellor probably at the exact time I need her most.

This time last month I felt fairly happy and confident. Now I feel like a fraud on every level, trapped and unable to see any escape.

Hallo, Paper Spaceboy

00:54 / 27.03.07

Don't leave, Our Lady! We love you!

02:09 / 27.03.07

"I'm going to end up editing the thing (and adding diacritic sound) all of wednesday and thursday morning, while they do, well, nothing. And I know i'm going to let myself do it, and let them take far more credit than they deserve."

Film your own footage now! Insert surreptitiously while they snooze/do drugs/score with feisty sex partners on the weight of their weighty film cred!

Bonus points if your footage includes

XCU -- PLASTIC TOY DINOSAUR

SFX: Man making roaring and crashing noises with his mouth.

07:50 / 27.03.07

Oh! Poor, poor miserable people. Hugs for all of you.

08:11 / 27.03.07

So I haven't worked in my chosen field in any capacity other than in doing gratis favours since July last. Money is tight, I have signed up to a temp agency and have started seriously considering other job options. I got a call to do a day for okay-ish money this week, and a call for some long term temp work - opting for the temp work as I was told that the other job wasn't confirmed yet, so might not actually happen, I was then called yesterday to be told that the temp job was being cancelled - despite the agency adamantly asking that I commit long term. So here I am, back where I started, no money, no work... and I still haven't had a honeymoon! Great.

08:13 / 27.03.07

Oh, I forgot to add, one of the phonecalls for work was from a group that wanted me to do 5 days for no money - when I pointed out that I had done something similar last year, but they still hadn't paid my expenses, they mumbled something like an apology minus the word sorry and any grace, and then said something that made it sound like if I did these 5 days I might get paid for the expenses from last time, maybe.

Our Lady Has Left the Building

07:22 / 28.03.07

Well, that was night three sans sleep. And today should have been day three of my new work.

I have an emergency appointment to see my doctor at midday today. As I live alone my parents are going to collect me after that and take me back to their place. Hopefully the doctor can give me something and I'll get a good night's sleep tonight.

NHS Direct, bless 'em, aren't that useful. I phoned them around 1 am, gave all my details and a description of my symptoms and they promised someone would phone me back, which happened at around 5 am. I then described my symptoms again and at the end was told, have hot baths and see your doctor or a walk-in service. I called the walk-in service this morning and was told to see my doctor as they weren't able to prescribe.

What is probably the thing that will amuse you most is that I do have some odd dozing dreams. You know when you have dreams in which you're either doing something dull and repetitive or it's one small scene circling around in your brain again and again? And how those dreams just tire you out more? Well, I've had some of those, usually based around whatever I was trying to read or watch before bed. So a few hours ago, I had an incredibly vivid unpleasant daydream in which I was Sam Tyler trying to arrange something or other so Gene Hunt wouldn't realise he was in a TV show. Sudoku was involved too.

Please doctor, prescribe me some knock-out pills!

14:15 / 29.03.07

Probably wrong thread but...

I can't CONCENTRATE today. My cow-orker has decided tyo plague me with one of her relentless ballad mix-CDs full of people saying "ooooh, baby" and promising eternal love and sexiness to each other for all eternity and all night long and stuff and there's this irritable demon in my head that won't shut up, substituting ludicrous lyrics for the real ones andandandand I can't type anything cos I'm BORED.

I'm also really knackered as I went to Dad's retiral thing and it went on and on for ages with everybody making speeches and saying what a great guy he was and then everyone came up to me and said: "What are YOU doing with your life, young man?" and I muttered things at them.

I'm fed up.

MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!

14:51 / 02.04.07

As a couple, helping your partner immigrate to Canada/immigrating yerself to the US when neither party has a NAFTA-qualified job nor companies clamouring to hire their foreign asses is difficult, tedious, and stupid. BAH.

I mean, seriously, BAH. 24 months to process a sponsored permanent resident application means the person has to (a) stay in the country (mostly, small breaks permitted) and (b) NOT WORK for two years. It's a bit insane. And upsetting. And insane.

Tryphena Absent

14:54 / 02.04.07

Is that really the only/best way to do it?

Hallo, Paper Spaceboy

15:21 / 02.04.07

Gets a bit choppy, moving to Canada. A good friend of mine did it but has been constantly tripped up by various problems, including the need for a work permit, which might be the way to go, only coming into the country you can only really work a job which is highly specialized and have skills that make you particularly unique. It also depends on international relations and how immigration is working between the two countries at the moment. He had to go back to Germany and wait for six months, which was stretched to eight and involved a period of government change - new government involved new policies and agreements with places like Canada on things like immigration.

Matt - have you two been provided with some sort of advisor type person who's reviewed your case and can maybe give suggestions from an official standpoint?

15:22 / 02.04.07

Matt, that is indeed insane and a bit shit. Is that literally how it works?

Regardless, all the best to you and Special K. You guys will work something oot.

20:27 / 02.04.07

Yeah, I wish I could do something to help you guys out. But I'll be sending you all good vibes I can. Screw those no-fun bureaucrats that stand in the way of love...

(you can always both move to somewhere really close to the border. They don't bother people travelling from the US to Canada and back to much, do they?)

13:10 / 04.04.07

Taking a break from trying desperately to hold off a D on my Spanish midterm. For the first time in a long time, I think we're being tested on material for which we've been insufficiently prepared. We're getting tested on preterit vs imperfect, new vocabulary, subjunctive, future, ser vs estar vs haber (in any tense), and two other topics I've forgotten already even though I was studying this just last night. And we haven't talked about preterit vs imperfect even once since before the last exam, and the future was just introduced last session. Gah!

21:23 / 06.04.07

My Step-mum makes me very miserable.

Over the years she has been the reason I stopped visiting my dad once a month (when I was 12ish she flew at him in a rage and hit him, he's a martial artist and tough enough to hold her off, but that didn't make me feel any less like hiding, running away, or beating her to bits, simultaneously... I stopped going for more than one night at a time or more often than once every 6 months after that)

Me and my partner visited this week... she didn't mention anything while we were there, but afterwards 'had words' with my dad, who then had to phone me... which obviously wasn't enough for her as I have just gotten home from a long week travelling (with a stupidly painful back that siezed up 5 weeks ago and gives no sign of allowing me to be physically able to sit through my exams next term!) and have found an email from her... obviously very concerned and caring and wanting to make sure I do the right thing in looking after myself... but in actuality, its upsetting, and quite rude!

And, it being mostly about hygiene... I'm not obsessive like she is, so this is my fault now? I'm happy with my level of hygiene, and my mum's happy with it, and I told my dad I was happy with it, but she isn't, so obviously my way is wrong. She disapproves of x, y, and z... and everything else I do... but won't tell me at the time or the other 101 times I've done exactly the same thing, but then makes this long list in her head that she saves up... and then tells me VIA MY DAD! What?

And, if my partner's behaviour bothered her, why didn't she say? When he could change it, or explain it himself? Or leave, if its something they couldn't compromise on? And, on top of that, she manages to totally twist the explanations given for any piece of behaviour.

I want to say that she makes me miserable. In actual fact I find her behaviour alien and hurtful because I have to deal with her in order to see my dad and my brothers. And I know she genuinely cares, in her strange way. And that makes it worse.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

14:59 / 08.04.07

I am not having a good day.

19:35 / 08.04.07

Hmmm... Though my mother has had frequent migraines throughout her life, i'd hoped that the brane stuff wasn't hereditary. And maybe it isn't, but fuck me does a migraine hurt.

Off to recrumple in bed now.

Ouch.

21:33 / 08.04.07

Hephaestus help me! Can I not get a f-ing corckscrew tht doesnt bend and twinst on me????? Grrr! THUDF THuD TUID!

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