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The miserable thread

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14:30 / 11.01.07

Agh, Id and Stoatie. That's some nasty stuff.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

15:39 / 11.01.07

Id- all my huggles are belong to you.

20:06 / 12.01.07

I am miserable because seeing women with their Dads on telly still makes me cry even though it has now been nearly four years since mine died. I am jealous of Dick Strawbridge's daughter and jealous of Lily Allen because they still have their Dads to laugh and joke with and their Dads are around to say lovely things about them and to be proud of them.

And it's just fucking sad because however much I cry and get angry I can't do anything about it and I will never ever have mine here again.

15:33 / 13.01.07

That's crap, Lu. Much huggles. I'm sure he'd be proud that you're such a clever, compassionate woman.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

17:57 / 13.01.07

What Triple said. Your dad would be hugely proud of you. You're super.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

22:00 / 13.01.07

Lula- strangely, I still have some huggles left, and you can have them.

09:13 / 15.01.07

I arrived late for my three hour exam and only stayed until it was ok for me to leave. That was a total of 40 minutes.
In that time, rather than write an answer to the questions, I wrote about how much of a failure I was and managed to tail it off with a suicide fantasy.

I am a) emo as fuck and b)stupid. Why the fuck couldn't I have just done the work? I hope to god that I can get the transcript back before someone reads it.

Also, it appears I have sciatica. I think this because my spine appears to be incredibly tense and every movement is agony. I had to stop on my way up the hill. It hurts.

God I'm awful.

11:01 / 15.01.07

Blimey Princess, that doesn't sound too good. Having never been in a uni exam situation all I can offer is teh huggles. Reclaiming your paper is worth a shot if nothing else.

As for the sciatica: get yoself to GP, fule.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

11:04 / 15.01.07

And while you're at the doctor's, tell hir about your low moods and see if you can get some help with that. Sounds to me like you've gone a bit selfdestructo, and may need assistance in pulling yourself out of that. I also hope you will speak to your Uni's welfare and disability guys. *hugs*

11:12 / 15.01.07

Thanks dudes. Turns out I can't have the script back. I'll probably go talk to the exam lady and just explain that I'd rather they didn't see it as a cry for help and that I am most probably not going to form a duvet womb of death under my desk.

I'm going to the doctor too. I've already gone re: my emo-specs, but I think it might be time to reopen the case. My back pain can be seen then too.

The uni welfare people are seeing me on Thursday.

SO that's everything just about sorted. Hopefully should be fixed by the weekend.

11:13 / 15.01.07

Mordant has brane.

If you can get in touch with any university counsellors they may be able to make a case for special consideration about your situation too. Remember, the staff aren't there just to tutor, they're there to help you get all the way to the end point.

11:14 / 15.01.07

Ah - fab. Glad things already seem to be mending, dude.

12:17 / 15.01.07

(apologies, but this is the whining thread)

Oh god. I'm awful. I'm the most awful thing there is. My god I hate myself. I'm a self involved uneducatable fuckwit. I'm selfish and evil and MY GOD WHAT IT WRONG WITH MISCARRIED MELANOMA THAT IS MY LIFE.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:25 / 15.01.07

I have been turning up at work very drunk and very late. This is probably not the healthiest way of dealing with my personal problems.

lonely as a cloud...

13:01 / 15.01.07

My misery seems so minor compared to the rest of the thread; but I've quit smoking, and am using nicotine patches. And I keep getting awful headaches. I suspect they may be related. AAAARGH MY HEAD. I think I need tea.

Whisky Priestess

13:46 / 15.01.07

Why the fuck couldn't I have just done the work?

I know this is a rhetorical question and you probably already know why (not) - but when you go to see TEH AUTHORITAH about your exams, I would take the time to prepare a very good answer for this one, backed up by doctor's/counsellor's note if poss. Just to save you (yet more) grief: these chaps can be (understandably, I suppose) fairly tough cookies.

13:53 / 15.01.07

Princess: please report at once to the giant festival of joy being held in your honor.
We're all glad you exist, think you're a wonderful shining star, and want you to stop beating the crap out of yourself.

Now then, did you speak to the GP as Mordant suggested about feeling like this? Did something else happen?

Stoat: While many cultures do believe the seat of emotions is the liver instead of the heart, trying to drown the poor bastard into submission rarely works.
The pain, sadness, and general misery sucks to under go but it is transforming you. Out there is an amazing human being looking for you with all of her heart and soul wondering if you really do exist. This particular batch of experience you're enduring is flicking on a few more running lights so you can recognise each other. Save some of your liver to celebrate when you find each other.

Unless of course, I'm totally off the mark and you're drinking before work for other reasons? In which case Nick Cave has written some fairly great songs that tend to cover this area of life so you don't have to live it.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

17:08 / 15.01.07

xk- I don't believe you for a second, but I love you for trying.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

17:44 / 15.01.07

Stoatie - you do realise that XK has been sitting around the campfire, speaking strong truth to you, and that those who ignore the words of wisdom uttered before the flickering Barbarian hearth are in peril of doubting teh madjickque and all that. And didn't RAW die for your sins?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

17:53 / 15.01.07

Good point well made.

18:46 / 15.01.07

Young Mr Stoat;

While I wouldn't necessarily recommend fresh air and exercise, I gather that once you've published a novel the ladies (or in my case, handsome young men of an Italian persuasion who can see 'the inner you') pretty much queue up round the block. At least, this is my understanding.

So I'd be inclined to be getting on with that, were I you. Basically, 500 words a day/night (and it's all right to drink beer while you're at it,) and before you know it the thing will be done.

If this seems a bit insensitive, you should bear in mind that both my son and my grandson were sent to Gordonstoun school for men from the age of three onwards, largely at my behest, and that as a result ... ok, that's a bad example.

But, um ... Oh well, you know what I mean.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

18:52 / 15.01.07

This would be why Sax only posts rarely now, wouldn't it?

Mon Oncle Ignatius

19:09 / 15.01.07

And do bear in mind that you've done the writing the novel bit already... so just get yourself a literary agent, and all shall be flowers and amour. So Sax sez.*

* I imagine.

01:42 / 16.01.07

I'm still fucking miserable about the break-up. It doesn't help when my closest friend and the only person that I feel really understands me is the girl who broke my heart.

It helps even less when she wants us to remain friends but has little-to-no regard for how I might be feeling or how hard this might be for me.

If I'm feeling more depressed than ever and suicidal, but don't want to be medicated into oblivion, who do I go see about that? Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Analyst, Therapist?

I plan on catching up with some friends over the next few days and balling my eyes out, but if that doesn't help I should probably seek a professional I guess.

02:51 / 16.01.07

That sucks, JD. From my own heart-break-up thread all I can say that yes, in time, you will feel better. These Are Wounds You Will Heal.

In the meantime, I'd advise against seeing a combination analyst and therapist, but the others? All gravy.

02:52 / 16.01.07

It's also perfectly alright to be feeling this way. I've never felt suicidal in my life but at the start of December I did entertain thoughts... which was incredibly scary and can imagine it's only moreso for someone who feels they might act upon them. Take care. And, yes, see a professional of some sort.

11:40 / 16.01.07

...And, if she wants things that you can't give, and if you don't feel emotionally equipped to cope with her company, stop seeing her. I know that's easy to say and that you'll come up with 100 reasons why you should have her around or can't avoid her presence, but you need to look after yourself, and seeing your ex probably isn't part of that.

Remember, the person who broke up with you is not the person who should be helping you through the break up. It's common sense.

I know how this feels, but it will pass I promise.

06:05 / 17.01.07

Wisdom Tooth.

No dental insurance.

Three kinds of anti-inflamatory that. Have. Not. Worked.

Must get up in five hours.

Must not booze as a verb tonight. Promised relative.

Wisdom Tooth.

Earlier than I thought

16:21 / 17.01.07

You could always try and find a dentistry department at the local university...worked a treat for a friend of mine last year. They need people to practise on and, generally speaking, only let the students who are pretty much on form have a go.

I appreciate that this might not be particularly appealing, but desperate measures and all that.

And to all the rest of you - makes my vague, selfabsorbednostalgiafreakgoldenageyearningonethatgotaway nonsense seem like the bag of crap it is. I shall fight your foes on your behalf until my fists bleed! Avaunt, persecuting fiends! Or if it makes you feel better to throw pies at me, go for it.

00:15 / 18.01.07

A student from my college was ill with the deadliest form of bacterial meningitis, last week. She's ok now, but there are suspicions that proper decontamination hasn't taken place, even if the directors say everything's fine. Each day there are new rumours of more sick students. Don't know if I should believe them.
I've been skipping classes because of this, but I'll have to go there eventually to the semester exams. I'm terrified of stepping into that building and if someone coughs near me I'll freak out.
Oh, and I had a widsom tooth extracted last week.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

07:53 / 18.01.07

You could always try and find a dentistry department at the local university...

I took this route when I had to have one of my wisdom teeth extracted at short notice, and then the rest of them again later. The students were pretty good and quite cautiously gentle - it was the lecturers who were much rougher and less easy to deal with. You also get to take pure painkillers.

10:46 / 18.01.07

It’s been years since I’ve had a crush on someone. I miss that feeling. I would like to fancy someone, get excited about them, maybe go on a few dates – even if it didn’t work out it would still be better than nothing whatsoever happening in my life. I’m bored and lonely and miserable.
I guess I’m far too guarded and negative following a bad break-up a while ago. And now I’m ice-cold and no-one I meet interests me in the slightest. I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t force myself to be attracted to someone. It should happen naturally. Argh, so why doesn’t it?

12:52 / 18.01.07

Imaginary mice, are you giving people a chance to show you how beautiful and complex they are in their own right, and do you have the inclination to see it? When one is shy from being hurt, sometimes the instinct is to barricade ourselves so we cannot truly connect with people. It is a safeguard, and if you have done this, you may be outgrowing it.

Are there people you feel connected with a bit? Start with that and nurture the interest. Sometimes people can grow on ya!

12:55 / 18.01.07

Sometimes people can grow on ya!

On second thought, that phrase is a bit creepy.

Sometimes you find gems if you are willing to dig a little deeper.

Gosh, you know what I mean. I hope.

lonely as a cloud...

14:18 / 18.01.07

I feel your pain, mice. I had a serious long-term relationship end about a year ago, and since then there's been nobody that really interested me. I was seeing one girl for about a month last october/november, but I really didn't feel anything for her.

I have been in a similar situation before, and keep telling myself it'll get better, but it's never easy to see how...

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