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A joke to cheer everyone up. Mayhap, this could turn into a prolonged and merry joke thread...

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Regrettable Juvenilia

08:43 / 12.02.07

I have a couple of questions for johnleespider.

Firstly, do you really think that people are objecting to your 'jokes' on the basis of hair colour prejudice rather than the obvious sexism?

Secondly, when you're sitting alone in your room, watching Top Gear and wanking over the latest photos of some Hollyoaks ingenue in Zoo or Nuts or whatever the fuck it is you do with your worthless fucking life, does it ever occur to you that you're going to die unloved, unmourned and alone?

09:09 / 12.02.07

Oh yes, I know I am on Barbelith, but it's the JOKE THREAD!! My first dogpile in the fucking JOKE THREAD! Haaaa this is so funny!(wouldn't ya know I even find this funny) and to top it off I am a blonde myself so please forgive MY OWN BLONDE MOMENT!

Ahh, the classic opening gambit of claiming you're part of the group you're being prejudiced against. Of course even someone with basic cognitive powers should be able to realise that men who make jokes about "teh stooopid wimen" can't use that as a defence in any kind of way.

Even someone with basic cognitive powers.

OK, to all my fellow downtrodden blondes out there who are reeling in agony over my cruel and pointed remarks, I'M SO SORRY!

Well done, the sarcastic apology. That in no way makes you look like a stupid little boy.

And what is wrong with cutting and pasting jokes? Fucked if I'm gunna sit here and retype them...

Nothing, but you may want to actually read the jokes first and ponder for a moment whether or not they're appropriate for this site.

So I guess I was wrong? I was sure! I assumed that most if not all lithers would maybe realize that a joke is a joke. To make you laugh, put a smile on a face? If I were to read a joke, in a joke thread them immediately I would suspend ANY/ALL personal feelings about the subject matter of the joke and take the joke on face value.

We finish, of course, with the marvellous argument that, as long as you say "ITWASSAJOK!" you should be allowed to say anything you want. Out of interest Johnleespider do you feel the same should apply to racist jokes? What about homophobic ones? Do you feel bigots should be allowed to have their say over on the Anger Thread?

I refuse to change my stance on Jokes.

I encourage you to stick to your guns then, at least we should be able to boot you out of the airlock with minimum fuss. Then you can wander away to a message board that accepts your prejudiced bullshit with all of the laughter and hilarity you feel it is due.

jentacular dreams

09:28 / 12.02.07

Whoah there! Before we head for the airlock perhaps a look at JLS's behaviour/posting attitude outside of this thread is appropriate?

Also, as a habitual devil's advocate I feel obliged to point out that no-one complained about the leper jokes one page 1 (though they were actually mildy amusing). Why is one caricatured-stereotype acceptable for comic purposes, while the other is not?

ONLY NICE THINGS

09:35 / 12.02.07

Well, KOTB, it's already been observed that the standards of the board have changed between 2003 and now. However, your critique, I think, misses one (1) fairly important point, thus:

1) Women and lepers are not the same thing.

jentacular dreams

09:38 / 12.02.07

Ah I see. Well that clears *everything* up then. Carry on.

ONLY NICE THINGS

09:40 / 12.02.07

Will do.

Man walks into a restaurant. Ouch! It was an iron restaurant.

09:50 / 12.02.07

John, before coming back on any of this have a think about what you're posting. I mean, really have a think about it. We've had this discussion before on Barbelith many times hence some of the incredulous responses.

You won't win an argument on this one, you won't save face unless you show a real willingness to reflect, and you'll start to find that people are a lot less friendly towards you in future if you carry on. In fact there's a distinct possibility that you'll be banned.

These are facts. Pay attention.

09:59 / 12.02.07

I find jokes about prostitutes offensive, but I usually have to suck it.

Tryphena Absent

10:09 / 12.02.07

If John had the capacity to think he never would have put that stinking pile of elasticated pants into this thread in the first place. Let's not demand the impossible, we'll only be disappointed.

10:10 / 12.02.07

Ah, but I'm a dreamer...

ONLY NICE THINGS

10:19 / 12.02.07

Well. It's possible that JLS is genuinely bewildered as to why he is being asked to examine his actions. Hopefully the subsequnet discussion has made clear to him that the issue is not the attitude towards "blondes" (or indeed lepers) in his jokes, but the treatment of women. Who knows? He might with this vital datum be able to retool his response.

The cut-and-paste issue seems to me to demonstrate one of the fundamental weaknesses of this thread - that jokes are not actually funny. They function as ways to bond socially, or to remind people of your existence, or to send communications without content - making them perfecty content for mass emails. Actual humour, however, tends to be emergent rather than pre-cooked. So. there's a question about what the thread is here for - is the intention actually to be amusing, or just to generate content?

10:48 / 12.02.07

Whoah there! Before we head for the airlock perhaps a look at JLS's behaviour/posting attitude outside of this thread is appropriate?

Well KOTB I'm not arguing that JLS has contributed nothing of worth to the board. But I am suggesting that if he intends to try and defend his right to post mysogynistic jokes and refuses to understand why people are taking it so seriously that perhaps Barbelith isn't the place for him.

He's been here long enough to know how this works so I have zero sympathy for his attitude in this matter. His response to the criticisms above suggests to me that rants about Political Correctness and the right of the comic to "push the envelope of acceptability" are not far behind.

Tryphena Absent

10:53 / 12.02.07

Hopefully the subsequnet discussion has made clear to him that the issue is not the attitude towards "blondes" (or indeed lepers) in his jokes, but the treatment of women. Who knows? He might with this vital datum be able to retool his response.

Well I rather hope that anyone with the capacity to think would be able to work this out on their own or around 10 seconds after people objected to the joke and accept it as an obvious thing. John hasn't really done that, has he?

11:02 / 12.02.07

...that jokes are not actually funny

I take your points about the other functions of jokes - and jokes certainly aren't my favourite delivery system for humour - but I can't help thinking that's a really weird thing to say. I'm sure that more than a few of us have been known to actually laugh at the odd joke.

I've even laughed at jokes on this very thread.

Am I missing something?

ONLY NICE THINGS

11:13 / 12.02.07

I was joking.

11:17 / 12.02.07

Really?

ONLY NICE THINGS

11:29 / 12.02.07

No, but you have to admit that was funny. Secret of comedy.

I think the question probably resolves around how one defines "joke" - for example, a show like Arrested Development is full of jokes, but I wasn't thinking of those. Likewise, there are lots of jokes scattered around threads all over Barbelith, which again I wasn't thinking of. I was thinking specifically of the rather tortuous "Girfriend 1.0 upgrades to Wife 1.0" stuff - things which arrive in inboxes and are then sent on across the world, or appended as signatures to people's posts to message boards, and so on. These might amuse the recipient - so, really, I should have said "usually" rather than "actually" - but any amusement caused seems to me profoundly ancillary.

12:39 / 12.02.07

You see, you mention the word "signature" and I'm all the way on your side.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

13:50 / 12.02.07

do you really think that people are objecting to your 'jokes' on the basis of hair colour prejudice rather than the obvious sexism?

Or indeed that they are "dogpiling" you, i.e. that several people have ganged up and are mindlessly attacking you motivated soley by a desire to conform with the pack, rather than a number of random individuals who've independantly decided that you're kind of an asshat?

15:21 / 12.02.07

My favorite Zen parable:

Two mendicant Zen monks, living on whatever their karma sends their way, are walking down a road one day. They haven't eaten in a couple of days, so maybe their karma has been wanting.

Until now. The first monk spots a dead woodchuck in the road. It looks a few days ripe, but the next village is miles away in both directions. The first monk tucks in.

The second stands aside, even after the first monk offers to share. The latter shrugs and finishes off the carcass. After a good belch to help the meal settle, he says, "You are not cut out for this; you are too fastidious." The second monk says nothing.

They continue. A little while later, the first monk pauses, looking a little green. He suddenly vomits up his dinner. The second monk whips out his chopsticks and says, "what's so fastidious about wanting a hot lunch?"

And the first monk is enlightened.

Thanks for coming. Your love offerings are appreciated. As you exit, please take a moment to visit our gift shop.

18:55 / 12.02.07

Christ on a fooking pogo stick, it's bloody jokes. You people don't seriously think that all of us who find them funny think that they're actually true?

Hell, that's why they're funny.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing - you already told her twice.

It's funny because it's awful.

What would you rather laugh at, that or the following:

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Are you ok?

ONLY NICE THINGS

18:58 / 12.02.07

Gosh. One of the Wonder Twins pops up just for this. It's good to hear what the people who really add value to Barbelith have to say about it.

An obvious lesson for the slow kid. One doesn't choose what one laughs at. I would laugh at neither of those, because neither is funny.

19:06 / 12.02.07

Yeah, exactly. You don't find them funny. I find one of them to be funny. I find half the jokes in this thread to not be funny. However I don't go around telling people not to post them.

That said, I'd like to meet a person who finds the second "joke" funny. It can't be a joke because... well... it's ordinary. I mean if you see a woman with two black eyes I really do hope that you'll be concerned and, at the very least, ask them if they're ok. I'm still not sure how that can be interpreted as a joke funny or not.

But "Nothing - you already told her twice." is priceless.

19:25 / 12.02.07

You mean "worthless". There's a difference.

ONLY NICE THINGS

19:30 / 12.02.07

But "Nothing - you already told her twice." is priceless.

If you're very easily pleased and not very socially exposed. I mean, really. Who among us who has actually left the house didn't hear that ten years ago?

Which goes back to my original point that these jokes are generally not funny. They are so well-worn, so devoid of intent. It isn't the subject matter per se - Chris Morris, much celebrated among these parts, often makes violence, degradation, sexual violence agonisingly funny. But a joke like the above is just banal - if you like Everybody Loves Raymond, you might find it titillating, but it's appeal, really, is it's banality. It's comforting, unthreatening, agreeably clubbish.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

19:33 / 12.02.07

I once saw the Barefoot Doctor, Gillian McKeith, Jeremy Clarkson and David Duke literally pissing themselves at the "two black eyes" joke. Should tell you all you need to know.

That's not libellous, btw, because it was TEH JOKE.

19:50 / 12.02.07

Q: What do toilet stalls and the Tony Awards have in common?

A: They only allow in one woman at a time!"

Is feminist humor an oxymoron?

In fact, humor functions like other covert and ambiguous markers of relative status, such as interruptions (West and Zimmerman), the use of endearments such as dear and hon (Wolfson and Maynes), and informal speech (Bing, Killing Us Softly). Jokes are effective ways of reinforcing existing hierarchies without seeming to do so because they are ambiguous and fictional. When challenged, an offender can deny the offense in both cases. In the case of endearments, offenders can respond, "I was just trying to be friendly!" In the case of jokes, a standard defense is "I was just joking" or "Don't you have a sense of humor?"

ONLY NICE THINGS

19:51 / 12.02.07

I once saw the Barefoot Doctor, Gillian McKeith, Jeremy Clarkson and David Duke literally pissing themselves at the "two black eyes" joke. Should tell you all you need to know.

Yeah, but they were being ironic...

19:55 / 12.02.07

Fuckin'hell, this thread really is bringing 'em out, eh?

Perhaps we should arrange a cull?

19:56 / 12.02.07

What's wrong with 'Everyone Loves Raymond' Hauso? I mean compaired to some of the standard family based American sit-coms.. I've seen worse believe me I've been watching a lot of bad TV recently....

The Ox joke is the best in this thread, some of these jokes remind me a lot of going out dressed as Dracula at Halloween.

19:56 / 12.02.07

Can we start a new 2007 joke thread and nuke this one from orbit? Please? Before we start getting Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman jokes or hilarious jokes about big-nosed Jews?

Can we?

Pretty please?

20:00 / 12.02.07

some of these jokes remind me a lot of going out dressed as Dracula at Halloween.

Some of these jokes remind me of the time I was mistakenly arrested as a terrorist and taken in a rendition flight to Gitmo Bay where electrodes were attached to my genitals and I was interrogated for days without sleep and threatened with mutilation and death.

20:09 / 12.02.07

Noted. I wasn't trying to say that these jokes bring back happy childhood memories, more along the lines that most of them were quite old when I was 10 and weren't that funny then either.

But yeah Nuke On.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:24 / 12.02.07

Some of these jokes remind me of the time I was mistakenly arrested as a terrorist and taken in a rendition flight to Gitmo Bay where electrodes were attached to my genitals and I was interrogated for days without sleep and threatened with mutilation and death.

DUDE!!!

That was fucking hilarious!!!

But then, I am a blonde, so YMMV.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

21:03 / 12.02.07

Sorry, Chuckles, but when I reflect upon those things which I feel to be amiss with Barbelith, "insufficient freedom to make battered-wife gags" doesn't quite make it into my top ten.

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