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Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb
a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top,
jumped into the air waving his front legs and
crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly
climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again, while a
couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad
efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
"Dear," she chirped,"I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
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An eldery couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small tavern, the husband leans over and asks his wife... "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you."
"Yes," she says, "I remember it well."
"Ok", he says, "How about taking a stroll a round there again and we can do it for old times sake."
"Oooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she answers.
There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see this: two old-timers having sex against a fence, I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." He follows them...
They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down and the old man drops his trousers, she turns around and as she hangs on to the fence, the old man moves in, suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping like eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for about forty minutes!
She's yelling "Ohhhh, God"
He's hanging on to her hips for dear life. This is the most athletic sex imaginable.
Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed, he thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The policeman, still watching thinks, "That was truly amazing, he was going like a train. I've got to ask him what his secret is." As the couple pass, he says to them, "That was something else, you must have been having sex for about forty minutes. How do you manage it? You must have had a fantastic life together... Is there some sort of secret?
"No, there's no secret" the old man says,
"Fifty years ago that darn fence wasn't electric." |
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