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Urgh! Fuck!: A thread for untamed hate and anger [PICS]

 
  

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8===>Q: alyn
05:55 / 28.06.03
I fucking hate Runce because I never know what he's talking about.

TALK ENGLISH. I'm from America and I can't understand your subtle, complicated jokes.
 
 
Spaniel
08:44 / 28.06.03
Yes. I own up. I fancy Jade.

Seriously, the guy ain't the target of any untamed hate and anger from these quarters. I just the suspect that the paragraph above might have danced from his fingertips.

I'm sure he's a lovely guy, and all that.
 
 
Spaniel
09:21 / 28.06.03
Anyway, what about bloody Tesco?
 
 
The Natural Way
15:17 / 28.06.03
I just find Jade's thing a bit cringe-worthy is all.

But not as bad as this!

Get this: my mate used to keep a photo of himself MUSCLE-POSING by his bed. I don't know if we should hate that shit or not, but it's definitely a bit rank.

Yep, that farkin' Tesco thing! Jeez!

Shut up, Q. Learn to speak Runce.
 
 
Shrug
16:24 / 28.06.03
One thing I hate is being shy. Or overcompensating for being shy and making an arse out of myself.

Oh and in comparison to LIDL Tescos is heaven.
 
 
that
18:04 / 28.06.03
On the up side, though, this thread is absolutely the best fucking thing EVER. Yes.
 
 
that
17:01 / 29.06.03
Headaches. I get headaches, often for several days in a row, and they're invariably horrible. Sometimes they're incredibly fucking intense, like having my brain scooped out with a spoon, and sometimes they just make me feel like I've been smacked in the head, hard - all ill and shivery...and sometimes they're just dull and nagging and sick-making, like my brain could do with being rinsed out in cold water. I have codeine for them, but it doesn't always help, and it makes me dozy, which I don't much like and which gets in the way of stuff that needs to be done. Anything less doesn't even touch them though...

I have an enviable pain threshold, so I can always live with the pain and get on with whatever it is I need to do...but they still make doing anything that much more of a pain in the fucking arse. I sometimes worry that I sustained some lasting damage from being used as a punch-bag for two years.

Anyway - headaches, I'm sick of them, and I want them to go into Room 101, please, Mr. Merton...
 
 
Spaniel
20:03 / 30.06.03
Oh and in comparison to LIDL Tescos is heaven

On some levels yes. But do they insist that you eat red pepper tapenade (sp?) in french farm houses?

Do they suggest anything like that?
 
 
penitentvandal
20:14 / 02.07.03
The goddam Soho media cuntsniff who decided that what Yahoo! groups really needed today - a day when I'm trying to access the collective Yahoo site for my English PGCE course - was a frigging slow-downloading flash animated advert which consisted of nothing more than a bunch of flashing colours and yet which, because of the precise and intricate sequence of exactly which colours were supposed to flash, took geological time to load up on my dial-up connection, thus meaning that I eventually had to give up, switch off my damn internet, and come here to vent. Motherfucker! What a little twatbastard. And you just know that this shitmollusc came up with the idea at about 2:15 one afternoon, having dragged his scrawny, dressed-like-a-Blue-Peter-presenter's-idea-of-'hip' arse out of his fucking Norwegian pinewood futon not ten minutes before that point, while he was in his goddam polished-metal walk-in-shower bathroom wanking a dick shrivelled into quantum miniscularity from the charlie he'd been caning with his postironic waste of space mates the night before, and suddenly realised that oh shit! I had to come up with that fucking Yahoo ringtones idea today, didn't I? Oh, fuck it, I'll just tell them to put a bunch of flashing colours on to attract the proles' attention. It's just a fucking flash banner. No-one'll fucking care...

Well, that's where you're wrong, fucko! Because I care. Oh yes I do. I care enough to grow a jar full of botulism culture in my garden, Cities of the Red Night style, then infiltrate one of your goddam swanky meejacunt dinner parties and fucking spike all your frigging sweetchilliwank pasta and stir fry sauces with it. And your fucking wankbastard bedhead hair gel as well. And every other goddam liquid medium I can possibly find in your shitty, gentrified, fucking minimalist wankhole apartment. And I'll nick off with your tosspotting retro table-style pac-man game while you're at it, you Dazed-and-Confused-sucking imbecile!

And you could have avoided it all, too. All you had to do was not come up with that stupid advert. Why didn't you do that, Tarquin? Why didn't you do that?

Too late now though. Incoming!
 
 
that
14:12 / 04.07.03
Happy people. Fucks. If they have to be happy, can't they at least shut up about it? Instead of polluting the atmosphere with joy and satisfaction? Or at least, they could show an adequate amount of apologetic embarrassment about the whole shameful state of affairs...

All these years in my little dark cave, eating fish and playing with my (*ahem*) ring, I think it's only natural that I should find such displays of happiness completely fucking sickening. It won't last, you bastards - it never fucking does.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
14:35 / 04.07.03
I don't know what to wear.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
16:21 / 04.07.03
I do find Alan-was-Runce's outbursts very invigorating, I must say. Hasn't he an awful lot of passion?

And by the way, I hate hypocrites. I hate people who claim to be, or allow people to believe, by judicious economy with the truth and/or mysterious silences, that they are something they are not. And then trade on their perceived lofty status but square it with their atrophied consciences by deciding that it's not exactly a lie that they're living ... or not their lie, anyway.

Lazy people who complain that life has shat upon them but will not lift a fucking Nintendo finger to improve their lot one iota can also kiss my indignant arse.

If they can be bothered, that is. If it wouldn't improve their lives too much.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
17:23 / 04.07.03
I'd like to have a word with the dozen kids who play in the alley outside my window every afternoon till about 1am. A) Go home. B) Shut up. C) Even though you probably think you're too young to be assholes, you're assholes.

There is one nasty little shit whose vilest epithet for girls he's mad at is "lesbian." There's one girl whose idea of a good time is to stand there screaming. I'm serious, at this very moment she is standing on a cinderblock with her little fists balled up at her sides screaching like an idon'tknowwhat. A fucking moron is what. And there's another little boy who cries all the time. Fucking pussy. What are you doing here if you're so fucking unhappy with your lot in life? Why don't you head on down to the Q train and ride the third rail?

See, they don't realize that the mild-mannered white man on the second floor is mixing up a homecooked batch of ritalin. All I need is some tranquilizer darts or some dog food and I'm in business.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
21:51 / 04.07.03
July 4th in New York: I'm trying to finish an overdue paper and someone has set up a speaker the size of a refridgerator in the park across the street. The soca music so loud it is actually inaudible. It sounds like a freight train with tambourines and occasional machinegun fire.

I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK! I'M GOING TO TYPE IN CAPS-LOCK FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT TO REFLECT THIS!

GODDAMMIT YOU KIDS, SHUT UP AND GO HOME!
 
 
gravitybitch
23:19 / 04.07.03
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I just wasted one of the few gloriously sunny San Francisco July 4ths in 16 years of memories mopping up a flooded apartment.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

It's nobody's fault - the hose going to a hot faucet in the apartment upstairs gave way and flooded their place something awful, leaked into my apartment in the living room and the main hallway... I've dumped tens of gallons of ugly water down the drains, need to wash a load and a half of towels, and I'm really hoping this isn't the start of a mold colony in my walls.

I want to hurt something right now.
 
 
penitentvandal
10:28 / 05.07.03
Go and hurt the kids outside Qalyn's place, then. Hell, I would, but I'm busy tonight.
 
 
Hieronymus
02:33 / 06.07.03
Grrrrrr. Must. dump. this. somewhere. Blogger is for some goddamnable reason not allowing me to post my blogs, bitchslapping me with a 'BIG POST ERROR' which is so antagonizing and redundant that my blood pressue is making it impossible for me to lick the envelope holding the anthrax I plan to mail to them. Fuckers. I have nothing to eat for 30 days as I'm completely broke due to the royal screwing I pay in rent, the lousy part-time only job market and now, like the turning of the screws, my laptop, my lifeblood with which I could survive and endure pestilence, famine, war and probably even the other guy, has died a displayless death and which likely cost me $600 to get Apple to replace, despite the fact it's under warranty but in lieu of the fact I can't find a receipt of purchase because it was a fucking Ebay purchase.

I want to skullfuck the world so bad right now, it hurts. Skullfuck it till it howls.
 
 
Spaniel
11:06 / 06.07.03
CHICKEN PROVENCALE, DELICIOUS, TENDER CHICKEN WITH RED PEPPER AND FINE FRENCH HERBS.
ONE OF FOUR EXQUISITE RECIPES IN THE NEW SHEBA CREATION RANGE
 
 
Spaniel
11:08 / 06.07.03
For anyone who doesn't know, we're talking cat food.

The stuff you give to cats.
 
 
Gary Lactus
11:34 / 06.07.03
Bored bored bored bored bored.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
 
 
Gary Lactus
12:52 / 06.07.03
I am 27 and still can't predict how my foreskin is going to affect the flow of my urine from piss to piss. Why must I repeatedly have to wipe wee off myself? I can't wear grey trousers.

Sorry.
 
 
Mazarine
13:31 / 06.07.03
Raising my goddamn rent. grr.
 
 
The Natural Way
17:50 / 06.07.03
That fucking Sheba tin is UNBELIEVABLE!

The thing is, I can't be sure if I hate it or not. It's too fucking funny.

Fine French Herbs!

Exquisite recipes!
 
 
Spaniel
18:29 / 06.07.03
Are they joking? Is it deliberately self-referential? I have no idea.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
18:49 / 06.07.03
Evangelicals. Evos. The low church. What's the right word for the people I am trying to describe?

Oh, yes. Bigots. Homophobes. Fuckers.

As a result of whose persecution, a man has not only been denied the bishopric his good service to the Church had earned, but also has a permanent cloud hanging over him, and has had his personal life torn open and rooted through for nothing. No reason whatsoever.

And because this sends the message that if you know a gay man, then the best thing you can do for them is *not* to suggest that their selfless devotion to a low-paying job in a struggling instituition be rewarded, because if anything draws attention to them they will be dragged over the coals by an army of school bullies ready to throw away their claimed devotion to charity and kindness when they can get away with it by persecuting the weak and unprotected.

Thanks, guys.
 
 
paw
01:55 / 07.07.03
BAD FUCKING IDEAS. I hate you, you've colonised this planet and our little mammalian minds you dirty lifeform bastards, fucked it and us up real good, and the majority don't seem to be noticing except for nerds on message boards talking about comics.
 
 
The Natural Way
16:49 / 07.07.03
Nice one, haus. Those fuckers are definitely there for the hating.

And did you see that Bishop on Newsnight a few weeks ago that started going on about how 'Of course, it's common sense, anyone can clearly see that the penis is intended to fit in the vagina....blah, blah, blah, NATURAL fishcakes'?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
17:08 / 07.07.03
Bishop of Carlisle. Bishop of Shitter, more like.
 
 
penitentvandal
10:23 / 08.07.03
Hmmm...The Bish of Carlisle was one of the homophobes, eh? Carlisle isn't too far away from my manor...Maybe I should pay him a little 'educational' visit...

What gets on my nerves about these homophobic twats is what I call the 'hide-behind-a-blackie' defense. What this consists of is some homophobic twat from Blighty arguing, in the Guardian, for example, that we shouldn't have gay Bishops because it would be 'imposing our values' on the good Anglican folk of Botswana, who object to that kind of thing. Well, excuse me, Mr Bishop Sir - but why the hellscreaming fuck are those Botswanian guys Anglicans, eh? I'll tell you, son. It was because, during the nineteenth century, when cunts like you still had an empire, some dickhead in a dress much like your own, backed up by several burly thugs with rifles, came along and imposed his fucking culture on those people! You know what arguing against that now makes you? Well, I'll tell ya, bubba. It makes you a hypocrite, and we all know what your Lord said about those, don't we? You pathetic little wankbastard. I hope you get kidnapped and anally-raped by Farrakhan himself, you turd.

And while we're on the subject of colonial arrogance, what about this stuff on the news about the British Army essentially using Kenya as a massive fuckin' rape camp on training exercises? Jesus. God almighty, there are days when I just wake up and bloody wish I'd been born somewhere else...Like the Moon.
 
 
waxy dan
10:37 / 08.07.03
And while we're on the subject of colonial arrogance, what about this stuff on the news about the British Army essentially using Kenya as a massive fuckin' rape camp on training exercises?

Eh? Could you throw in a link to that? Can't find it with a quick browse on BBC and I'm kinda curious?
 
 
unheimlich manoeuvre
15:39 / 08.07.03
velvetvandal yeah our history is awful. did you know the british invented the concentration camp for use on the boers during the boer war?

anyway my angry rant...

perishing jobcentre! bother and damn! ohhh they get up my nose!
 
 
Servalan Queen of the Universe
18:39 / 08.07.03
That thing about Kenyan rape camps for the Brits sounds sooooo horrible and plausible- I would like to see a link too (and wouldn't cos I'm feeling nauseous enough today)
I am getting really really upset in a totally powerless middleclass leftie angsty way about the execution chamber the Amerikan government are building at Guantanamo. I know torture and death without trial are not new phenomena, but it's the self justifying blatancy of this- DOESN'T ANYONE GIVE A SH*T??? it doesn't even seem to be making headlines.

Also all this stuff about 'how could the govt send us into Iraq on bad intelligence'- I want to scream YOU IDIOTS HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE NOTICED EVERYTHING THEY SAID WAS B*LLOCKS **BEFORE** WE KILLED HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE AND SPENT 3.5 BILLION DOING IT????

Oh, and it's sticky in London and I've got swollen ankles and am a bloated old sow who ought to be writing or doing SOMETHING instead of staring out of windows 10 hours a day. Blah.
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
18:52 / 08.07.03
Guardian article about the Kenyan rapes - doesn't mention rape camps per se, but does talk of systematic rape committed by British soldiers over a long period of time.

I too am angsty about Guantanamo; but I think the British government knew exactly what it was doing when it used those reports to justify the invasion of Iraq... there have been some interesting arguments in the Guardian's comment section recently about exactly how tied to the US Blair's government; it seems to be coming more to the forefront of public consciousness which is, I suppose, something.
 
 
mixmage
01:14 / 09.07.03
Too many films about Pirates these days...

Back in my day, a pirate movie was all grainy and subtitled in Dutch... and had totally sweet ninjas...

kids these days...
 
 
Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey
01:58 / 09.07.03
Fantastic threads! Fucking excellent fucking threads. Threads that, for one reason or another I don't even read, never mind post in, despite having seen them bubbling back up to the top for fucking months.

Threads that, once you do actually decide to have a look at, appear to be the forum equivalent of a months-long drug-fuelled hedonistic bacchanalian orgy that you lost the invitation to. Threads that, once you do actually fucking decide to have a look at, are sooooo fucking big that there's no way you're ever going to read the lot, leaving you with a permanent, life-long feeling of 'otherness', a feeling that you don't quite belong, everybody else sharing some dark knowledge that you're never going to be privy to.

Like this one.
 
  

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