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Urgh! Fuck!: A thread for untamed hate and anger [PICS]

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18:01 / 08.08.03

Anyone who doesn't know how to drive a car in winter weather has no business driving a car anywhere near the New England region between late October to mid-April. This is four-wheel drive country, ya' biatch.

Also on my shit-list:

Slow drivers.

Drivers whose heads you can't see peering over the steering wheel.

Any driver with a cell phone grafted to the side of their head.

Those who think turn signals are optional and for decorative purposes.

Parental units who don't keep an eye on their ritalin-addled offspring.

Anyone currently running for governor of the state of California.

Tourists--just because.

Donald Rumsfeld. Every time he's on TV I want to yell and throw things.

The entire cast of "Friends". (Just fuck off already, the lot of you.)

Street evangelists who end every arugment I start with them by saying, "I'll pray for your soul." (Its not like I gave them permission or anything.)

Ticketmaster--the rapacious greedy bastards from hell that they are.

The financial aid office at my state university. May great Cthulhu consume it in righteous fury and cast mortal terror into the hearts of its inefficient bureaucrats.

Gentrification caused by out-of-town real estate developers. Sodomize them all with rusty pitchforks.

AT&T. No explanation neccessary.

The local Department of Public Works, for doing road work in the wee hours and denying me much-needed sleep. Fucking jackhammers at 6am.

I'll think of more.

Goodness Gracious Meme

21:17 / 08.08.03

Wow. Sav's angry when he's beautiful.

The price of records in Oxfam check.

bloody poncey bastard 'cutting-edge design' websitescheck. I love W < clothes. After waiting ages for the website to load, I hate W < and all his products.

Fucking hormones. Atm making me want to SMASH. Waves of rage flooding over me. Which i *know* in 24hrs will have segued into crying at lassie movies. At least the rage gets me some aerobic excercise and possibly some Pride cred.

bloody cold which has appeared from nowhere over the last few hours, just in time for pride. That's gonna add to the glamour, innit?

this:

Hang on. You're not a girl, are you?

Fuck off. Basically.

Which reminds me of men who explain the offside rule to me with a 'ahhh, i'm letting the girly in on the big male secret, won't she be honoured' contented smugbastard expression.

This has happened *twice* in the last couple of weeks. Why can't these morons take it as read that if i *choose* to enter a conversation about football, I *probably* know how one of the founding principles for the game works.

Subset of that: men explaining the offside rule in such a deliberately obfuscatory fashion as to make it sound like advanced quantum mechanics.

It's bloody simple, and every time someone *asks* me to explain to them, it takes 5 seconds, and the response is always is 'well that's bloody simple,isn't it'

Alistair McGowan: Wanker.

AMcG on LateReview: Wankerx100

feeling the hate....

Goodness Gracious Meme

21:20 / 08.08.03

oh and seconding both of hattie's.

I seem to live in the capital of the smug'married'prammafia.

ggaaaaggghhhhh.

22:46 / 08.08.03

ive just spent a long day in a pub where 40% of the customers are ugly morons made worse by the hot weather.

by the way this conversation happens about four times a day,
Them- larger (note the lack of please)
Me- eeerrm k, fosters, stella or harp?
Them- Carling

i mean FUCK why am even there you shitbag retards, being ugly isnt a crime BUT IT SHOULD BE you all should be rounded up and put on a fucking island.

oh and this happened yesterday
Them1- Cinzono please
Me- sorry we having got any, can i offer anything else instead?
Them2 to Them1- it doesnt matter ill have dry martini
Them1 to Them2- dry martini?
Them2 to Them1- dry martini
Them1 to Me as if i hadnt been there all the time and/or deaf and very stupid- dry martini
Me- would you like ice?
Them2- no
ok so then i go and pour a shot of dry martini and dutifully place it on the bar, and they look at me as if i was from fucking Mars and i had just handed them eye juice
Me- is somthing wrong?
Them2- i asked for dry martini and lemonade
Me- im sorry but i dont think you did
Them1-She did
so then im all like whatever, and have to go outside and break some stuff i mean they said it like about fuckin 15 times, and yes i have taken drugs and it did affect my memory but shit im not that guy from fucking memento.

barmen spit in drinks, dont fuck with us

Our Lady of The Two Towers

01:13 / 09.08.03

Insomnia and Pride. I won't go in to it again...

Goodness Gracious Meme

22:49 / 09.08.03

ahhhh, sweetie. hope you're feeling better and sleeping like a baby.

if it's any consolation, i was home at 10.30 thanks to hormones combining with flu and insomnia meaning i was exhausted.

and now i can't sleep.

grrrrr. vaguely considering attempting to head out and make it to one of several great parties but suspect i'll fall asleep as soon as i get to 'em...

*

01:19 / 10.08.03

Boy Meets Boy. Not the webcomic, which is fine if overly cutesy. The sickmaking reality dating show on BRAVO. (You guys not in the "land of the righteous" are probably spared this, I hope.)

For those of you spared it, out of jealousy for your lack of suffering: Take one perfectly innocent gay man whose only crime is agreeing to be on a dating show at all, perhaps under the impression it will make a difference to public opinion on the gay marriage issue if there's a widely-televised gay dating show. Add fifteen sexy male candidates for romance. Twist: Have some of them be straight guys PRETENDING to be gay. If they can stay on the show long enough to break the mark's heart, they get money, woo hoo! Don't tell the victim, of course. Stir well, and have a lawyer on standby. Yields 4-6% in the Nielsen ratings.

It makes me angry. What makes me angrier is that some of these people seem to be genuinely likeable, decent human beings, who ought to have more brains than to be involved in something like this. Grr. Angry.

02:47 / 10.08.03

Teenagers in Victoria's Secret! Gah! Come on, aren't there any adult sanctuaries nowadays? If I want to shop among giggling teenyboppers I'll shop at Wet Seal or Claire's. Nothing's more uncomfortable than going into VS and having to wedge past a gang of teengirls tittering and choosing panties to buy. Next thing you know they'll be putting cartoon characters on the Wonderbras.

Also: people who wear pants with words on the bum. Spotted a girl today with "Princess" printed right on the ass of her tiny pair of shorts, shopping with her mother. Fashion today makes me feel like such a prude.

12:14 / 10.08.03

Transsexual patients who somehow contrive to be both a) outraged at the fact that transsexualism is still included in the ICD/DSM and therefore notionally considered 'illness' (which does have the handy side-effect that their surgery is therefore funded by the NHS), and b) outraged at any suggestion that they come off sickness benefit (their accommodating GPs have signed them off long-term, with 'gender dysphoria').

Her: I hate having to come here. Other women don't have to justify their existence by seeing a psychiatrist.

Me: Well, I can understand why you don't like it, but "other women" don't require hormones and surgery in order to actualise being female - and I'm afraid GPs and surgeons won't work with you unless you're seeing a psychiatrist. I know it's frustrating, but it's how the NHS works, and we both have to operate within it. Is there any way I could make the experience more pleasant for you?

Her: By giving me the surgery now.

Me: You know I can't approve that unless you've lived as a woman for a bit longer.

Her: You're all the bloody same. It's all just power games.

Me: Gnnnn.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

20:06 / 10.08.03

Well that's it, if she paid for it herself she wouldn't have to jump through these hoops would she?

23:04 / 10.08.03

Indeed. I love the way that's used by some as a sort of Ultimate Sanction ie. 'if you make me live as a woman first, I'll just go private instead' - as if I'm supposed to clutch the table's edge, start hyperventilating then crumble and begin pleading with them to remain within the NHS.

13:16 / 11.08.03

Okay... now I know this is supposed to be the anger thread. But to follow up on my posting above.

Just landed a lecturing job in big-ass 14,000 student college! 7 hour interview process! I shit you not.

21k. Not great, but fine.
35 paid holidays, also Christmas and 10 course days a year
They put me on a PGCE
And a laptop for good measure

750 squid if I want to relocate, but I have my doubhts about that one!!

Yay.

And a new flat. Still miss me cat though.
But hey, things seem to be on the up and up (he says searching frantically for wood to touch)

13:30 / 11.08.03

hArassment
Fucking HARRISMENT. It's HarAsment you fucking know nothing ignorant smug dickhead WANKERS!!
Harrisment would be the act of committing Harris against someone - say, like donning an extra leg and doing a silly walk while singing "diddlediddlediddledum"
HArasment is the act of deliberately MISpronouncing a word gratuitiuosly and with forethough to cause actual distress.
Stop it.

13:54 / 11.08.03

Actually, Justified, my mother always told me that hArassment is correct and that the pronunciation harAssment was invented by Frank Spencer in Some Mothers Do Have 'Em. She may well be wrong of course, but I have learnt not to disagree with Mrs Jackson Sr. when she has a bee in her bonnet about something. Can anyone help? I really do hope I don't have to phone up my mum and call her a fucking know nothing ignorant smug dickhead WANKER.

14:10 / 11.08.03

Dictionary.com says:

Usage Note: Educated usage appears to be evenly divided on the pronunciation of harass. In a recent survey 50 percent of the Usage Panel preferred stressing the first syllable, while 50 percent preferred stressing the second. Curiously, the Panelists' comments appear to indicate that each side regards itself as an embattled minority.

I favour putting the emphasis on the first syllable myself, but I doubt it matters.

14:31 / 11.08.03

Cheers K-CC. But I now think that my mother was pulling my leg about Frank Spencer.

14:40 / 11.08.03

Justified, it occurs to me that "harrisment" might be a useful word to indicate the process whereby something is no longer obscure, out of focus, or a messy jumble and you can for the first time actually tell what it is.

Tryphena Absent

12:07 / 12.08.03

I officially hate the government- amazingly not because they're war mongering ugly bastards the lot of them but because they're moving to ban smoking in Brighton and that's just too much for me. Why does the population get to destroy their livers with alcohol and alienate people with their toss behaviour but I don't get to suck smoke in from a cancer-stick. I like smoking! And why can people smoke when they're 16 if it's so fucking dangerous but only drink when they're 18 if it's so fucking safe. The world is wrrrooonnnggg and nicotine loves me.

12:24 / 12.08.03

WHAAAAT?! I'm about to move to Brighton and I intend to smoke there whatever the government say, interfering bastards! If they make it illegal they're just encouraging people to smoke spliffs in the street (might as well get hung for a sheep as a lamb, eh?) and it'll be totally unenforcable, where do they think they are, fucking California?

Whisky Priestess

14:01 / 12.08.03

The cunting bastard snidey public with their patronising little asides when I'm trying to explain why we are not the people they want, and give them the right number.

Esprit de l'escalier now torments me with fantasies of asking them to call back when they are feeling more polite, to bother listening when I answer their questions, or asking them why they don't simply "shove your head up your smug fat arse and never bother me again, you fuckpuppet wankwipe".

Aaaaaah .... that's better.

16:10 / 13.08.03

Fucking laptop!
Fucking laptop!!!
FUCKING LAPTOP!!!!!

Hattie's Kitchen

08:18 / 14.08.03

Kids on buses. Don't get me wrong, I love kids, but not when I'm sweating my arse off on the bus home from work, with a raging headache, and some twat of a toddler decides to sit behind me and starts kicking the back of my seat repeatedly, and his cunt of a mother sits beside him with an expression saying "Aw, how cute is my child, so playful etc". Well, listen mummy, either you tell little Damien to behave himself or I chuck the little bastard out of the window. How cute would that be, hmmm?

Tryphena Absent

09:06 / 14.08.03

Arrgghhh- slept in, got stuck behind milk float, missed train, late to work, bad bad dodgy dream, hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate the world. Bury myself alive.

Tryphena Absent

09:43 / 14.08.03

And another thing, will the girl who sits right across the office shut the hell up because her mindless chat about the most mundane things in the world is driving me completely and utterly off the fucking wall!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:41 / 14.08.03

I'm still seething about this one a fortnight fucking later...

Being given a test in, basically, proofreading, by a guy who thinks you put commas everywhere! Like in a badly proofwritten novel! And having to say "Well, yeah, I didn't put commas there, but do you know why? BECAUSE IT WOULD BE WRONG! AND I WON'T! YOU HEAR ME? I SIMPLY FUCKING WON'T!"

Oh well. The upside is I've finally realised that misplacement of apostrophes isn't the worst thing in the world.

Hattie's Kitchen

13:02 / 14.08.03

BastardbastardbastardHelloMagazineknobwipes

Yes, I have to read Hello Magazine for work purposes, and if I see one more feature on Ulrika Jonsson's wedding, Vanessa Feltz's arse, Posh Spice, the Atkins diet, not forgetting nameless European minor royalty members, I will personally go to the Hello office and do a huge poo on the editor's head.

I have an idea for a new reality TV show called "Celebrity Tenko". whereby TV bints such as Feltz, Carol Vorderman, Carol Smillie (as seen on TV) Gail Porter etc, are carted off to a Japanese hard labour camp for five years...it would be a ratings smash, I'm telling ya...

13:48 / 15.08.03

MICROSOFT EXCEL! I HATE YOOOOOOUUUUU!

11:33 / 18.08.03

Huggles to my computer. Huggles huggles huggles. I don't hate it, and I would take it out for ice cream and to the cinema if I could. But it's royally fucked up. I can't cut and paste. If I want to use the Net I can forget about being able to use any non-Net related applications in a normal manner. I can't cut and paste. I CAN'T CUT AND PASTE!!!!!!! If I open Word, Hotmail won't work unless I opened the browser window before I started up Word. Don't ask me why, it just won't. Waaaah!

Also, I have become obsessed with the colour of my Filofax. I lie in bed feeling ill because my Filofax is red, and I am not a red sort of person. Wtf is that about? That's not normal.

Tryphena Absent

11:38 / 18.08.03

Chol- you need a new filofax and god knows about the computer but you definitely need a new filofax.

11:49 / 18.08.03

You reckon? Is that because red Filofaxes are intrinsically evil and wrong (even when they're the industrial-looking Tecnic), or just because its doing my head in? You are the board's resident fashion expert, and enquiring minds need to know.

Goodness Gracious Meme

13:48 / 18.08.03

sleep patterns. lack of.

'functioning' on 4 hours sleep.

don't do it, kids.

Fucking bastard cunting wanking monkey-buggering DSS. Who haven't paid me for a month and 'can't see any reason why that would have happened.'

Tryphena Absent

14:00 / 18.08.03

Calling me an expert is giving me far too much credit. I just happen to be in love, I'm not even particularly well turned out... except for my coat, god I wish the cold weather would come back so I could wear it.

Now back to filofaxes- I happen to love the colour red so usually I wouldn't suggest throwing anything like that away. Yet it's clear to me from your post that your filofax has been taken over by evil monkey spirits from the South American rainforests and Cartman's not gonna come along and bulldoze those little fuckers. So bin it and get a new one. Who needs the trouble of exorcising the colour red when you can just laugh as the rubbishman comes to take it away!?

14:12 / 18.08.03

Ah. Got it. Monkey spirits - everything is becoming clear...

Thank you.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

16:10 / 18.08.03

Chol: Not sure about the computer, but you could sort out the filofax with a touch of Fablon ("sticky-backed plastic" in BluePeterese). Comes in a variety of colours, can be cut to size, will adhere to Filofax covers.

Don't know if it'll fix the monkey spirits, but it's worth a try.

16:26 / 18.08.03

Thanks, MC - that's a good idea, actually. I'm starting to de-stress about the red anyway, so maybe the monkey spirits got bored and wandered off. I am still hopeful Cartman will put in an appearance one day, and I am delighted to know that sticky-backed plastic has a proper name.

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