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I'd like to begin the new year, (the new decade!) on a positive note, by wishing the death of a thousand savage cuts on the 99.9 per cent of plumbers in London who are apparently are not just a bit lost, in the strange world of the pipes, but actively malicious.
There would be worse uses of my time, it seems, if all I did for the next ten years was ring up 'heating engineers' from the Yellow Pages and then pick them off, one by one.
'Mate,' they might say, in the hell, I suppose, that would be the living room 'I'm losing a lot of blood.'
'Yeah, sorry mate.' I'd reply 'It's that time of year, isn't it? Busy. I can probably book someone in to try and tie off your arteries in about a week's time, but I can't promise anything, and you'll need to phone me back about that. Plus, according to our records, this company did not install your system. So that's going to cost you extra. I'd get another quote, if I were you.'
I'm really not sure I'd get tired of that. Also, however many bodies piled up in the abattoir/lounge, what court in the land would convict me of acting in anything other than self-defence? |
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