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Urgh! Fuck!: A thread for untamed hate and anger [PICS]

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All Acting Regiment

12:31 / 07.10.06

I know, I know. I've been doing a lot of walking, and, when too tired, library visiting. This guy is actually helping me get back into shape and get my required reading done.

12:40 / 07.10.06

Every cloud, an aw that.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:54 / 07.10.06

Okay, I like my boss and everything, but sometimes I don't half want him to be eaten by a bear.

First off, they introduce this new system where we (the team leaders) have to liase with the account management department to argue about/discuss any complaints we have from clients. Which is fine- it's not much extra work, and we actually get to have some input into how clients' instructions are interpreted. Which is kind of part of our job.

BUT if the discussion's been going back and forth for a couple of days, there's really no need for my boss to take matters into his own hands, put his own interpretation on the thing and tell them I've backed down when I haven't. Now it just looks like I was being difficult for the sake of it, rather than having a valid point.

If my input only counts if it agrees with his opinion- if I'm really only rubber-stamping that opinion- then why doesn't he just tell them his opinion in the first place and leave me out of it altogether? Give me a few more minutes to dick around on Barbelith, or even do something useful and work-related?

It's not a big deal- to be honest, I don't really care that much, as long as none of my team lose any of their bonus or get fired or anything (which isn't gonna happen, so that's okay), but it makes me irrationally angry.

That said, there aren't many jobs where you could unleash the torrent of abuse I did last night at my boss (looking back, I count at least twelve "fucks", a couple of "bullshits" and more "bollocks" than a chain of stud farms) and not get fired, but still...

Less searchable M0rd4nt

13:51 / 07.10.06

Nazi dentist tries to blow up Yorkshire.

National press made of silence.

09:09 / 09.10.06

She said a search of Jackson's home had uncovered rocket launchers, chemicals, BNP literature and a nuclear biological suit.

Sorry what was that? The biggest haul of chemicals ever and some rocket launchers plural!? Had the men been muslims instead of BNP this would have kept the red tops busy for weeks, gah!

Whisky Priestess

09:18 / 09.10.06

Colne, blimey. I've actually been there. They have a jazz festival.

09:34 / 09.10.06

In a parallel world Pendle is a smoking hole in the ground. You know that the trains carrying nuclear waste go on commuter lines and their timetable is easily available? One person in an NBC suit with a rocket launcher could release enough nuclear material to poison more than Yorkshire, just by standing near a siding at the right time. Why is this not all over the news?

All Acting Regiment

09:37 / 09.10.06

That fucking dentist used to work in my fucking town. Someone posted a complaining letter on his practice door and he went to the press with a sob-story.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

09:44 / 09.10.06

Because this is nice homegrown British terrorism, it dresses in corduroy and comes served with a helping of sprouts. Not like that nasty smelly foriegn terrorism with its funny clothes.

Fuck the national press right now. Fuck the BNP and fuck everyone who's kissing their arses, fuck Britain if it continues to lie back and let these evil bastards carry on burning, bombing, stabbing and terrorising without making a peep. The BNP burns families to death in their homes, and what's on the front page of the Standard?

Fuck.

12:24 / 09.10.06

Front page of the Standard website;

ENGLISH NOW THE SECOND LANGUAGE IN MOST PRIMARY SCHOOLS
"New figures have revealed that English is now a foreign language in London's primary schools. Across the capital, teachers are having to accomodate pupils from wider variety of ethnic backgrounds than ever before..."

White Englishmen are the minority now! Beware the Ethnics!

13:00 / 09.10.06

In 348 of inner London's 695 primaries, at least 50 per cent of the pupils do not have English as their mother tongue.

Half of 695 is 347.5. That's a pretty damn slim majority. And I'll bet the other 347 are likely to be pretty well represented by English-only speakers.
You know what I'd like, ES? You to prove you've checked them all. Go on, did you go around all 695 and ask the headteacher? I doubt it.

pointless & uncalled for

13:19 / 09.10.06

Calculation formula for ES statistics.

(a/b)/c=d.

a = number of uppity letters written by vaguely litterate readership
b = number of people in ES office who reckon that they might be a bit off the mark (in this instance knee-jerking because they heard some of them darkies kids jabbering outside the gates at pick-up time and couldn't understand a fucking word)
c = Googled number of some generally relevant fact.
d = TEH ACTUAL FACT AND TEH TERRARISTAS HAVE WON AND ITS ALL KENS FAULT.

13:25 / 09.10.06

It's the veil you know, they segregate themselves with their funny foreign face coverings and fill up the schools with their funny foreign children. I ask foreign men to voluntarily shave their beards and moustaches, they are a barrier to communication.

13:30 / 09.10.06

You know what I'd like, ES? You to prove you've checked them all. Go on, did you go around all 695 and ask the headteacher? I doubt it

For a moment there I was all "What did I do?" then, after reading a little closer I was all "Ahhhh."

pointless & uncalled for

13:30 / 09.10.06

Then perhaps you'll be interested in ES's campaign for next week that proclaims outrage at having to acknowledge that people that live outside of the M25 are anything less than vile, worthless scum and demand the right to brutally stab anyone with darker skin than Pete Doherty after a six week bender.

I for one can't wait to sign up.

13:48 / 09.10.06

Evil Scientist, you are being outdone by Yorkshire dentists and the Evening Standard, please provide more evil science. For example, a device to cover John Prescott's face, maybe a veil of some kind? A live evil veil that eats faces?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

16:02 / 09.10.06

Fuck the BNP and fuck everyone who's kissing their arses

This is something I totally don't get about politics. Parties of all stripes keep saying shit like "we have to say this or we'll be playing into the hands of the BNP"...

WHY??? Because you think they're right and you want their supporters on your side? The whole EEEEEVILNESS about Mr Tony was that Labour supported him so they could become electable. It's not about being electable. It's about trying to do good. If you have to stop doing that in order to become electable, then you're being lazy. You should be convincing the electorate that the right thing to do is the right thing to do, not changing your own idea of what that is to match theirs. You shouldn't be in politics for the aim of being in power- you should be in politics for the aim of improving things. Being in power should be a tool used to this end, not the other fucking way round.

The whole "or we're playing into the hands of the BNP" bullshit strikes me as "we need need need the racist vote, but we don't want it to fall into the hands of extremists". How fucking stupid is that last statement? On HOW many levels?

BTW- to be fair, Quants, Prescott has many flaws, but he's a bad example to use there, since he was the first minister to publically state that he thought Straw's "UNCOVER TEH FACE!!!1!!" thing was bollocks.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

16:05 / 09.10.06

Oh, and as regards the Evening Standard... being a fairly passive kind of chap, and not prone to violence, I'm proud to say the closest I've been to initiating a fight in the last decade was a couple of weeks ago with a guy selling the Evening Standard. His wankerdom and the paper itself were kind of unrelated, but I drew the links myself, which didn't really go down well.

17:35 / 09.10.06

The breakdown of Elephant culture

I read this, went for a motorcyle ride then had to stop to remove a skunk some asshat hit from the road (poor critter) and now I'm seriously loathing my species' lack of decency with a side of double frustration.

[rant]

why the fuck do you need to go so fast on a rural road talking on a damn cellphone about your miserable life or applying your nasty lipstick and not paying attention to piloting the very large machine you fill with toxic chemicals so that you might go to an office to do meaningless work with people you can't bring yourself to be nice to? Or why do you believe you are entitled to a 3 million doller 3rd home on the seacoast 3 cars and a garden full of plants you hire some person you talked down to for 8$ an hour to pull out because said plants are not the fall colored mums on the magazine cover?
Why, you amazingly shallow mean spirited low attention span trollop do you believe your life is more important or of greater value than the small yet highly visible mammal crossing the road? Have you so little concern for other living beings that you cannot be bothered to check and see if the animal you hit is suffering or to remove it from the road so it does not need to be ground into so much pulp by other uncaring oblivious anistovas?

Why are we so selfish and nasty that we've driven elephants insane to the point of raping rhinos? Is this not a sign of having acheived true evil in the world?

[/rant]

these are the moments when I consider a monastic life of praying for humanity to get its shit together. Now. Please. Before. It. Gets. Worse.

07:46 / 10.10.06

Okay I accept that when I brought the second season of Deadwood on dvd I didn't realise there was commentary. No reason I should, the last one didn't.

But shall I tell ye what I find really fucking annoying? What really fucking winds me up? That this set HAS fucking commentary yet apparently has no obvious way of listening to said commentary. No little option on the menu that says PLAY FUCKING COMMENTARY. Is it an Easter Egg? WHAT?

That's it, I'm hiring the fucking Pinkertons.

pointless & uncalled for

08:07 / 10.10.06

xk

Did you actually see the skunk killing incident in question?

I'm not one to go out of my way to defend motorists but there does seem to be a lot of assumption built into that little rant of yours.

18:17 / 10.10.06

Hey, Evil Scientist- this may be useless, but you might try using your dvd's on-screen menus (if it has them, maybe you're using your computer?)and changing the audio track. Like, usually you can switch between say Spanish, French, Dolby 5.1, English track 2 (or some such), which is usually the commentary.

18:28 / 10.10.06

I'm not one to go out of my way to defend motorists but there does seem to be a lot of assumption built into that little rant of yours.

And what if there is? That's part of the purpose of ranting surely.

God, that article about the elephants is depressing. What can we do? Donate to these guys maybe?I think a "Save the Elephant" thread might be in the offing.

11:10 / 11.10.06

Cheers Tsuga I'll give it a shot.

In other anger-inducing news though:

Leigh Francis (the bloke behind Bo'Selecta) makes like a Barbelith troll in defence of his crude racial stereotyping method of celebrity impersonation.

Here.

His portrayal of Jackson quickly became one of his most popular - and most contentious. There is a sense that his portrayal of black characters is based not on random absurdities, but negative racial stereotypes. Jackson the jive-talking buffoon; Trisha Goddard, with her broad west Indian accent, teeth-kissing and catchphrase "rice and peas"; and, in the latest series, Oprah Winfrey, with her southern drawl and requests for fried chicken. Can he see how this could be offensive? "No. Michael Jackson isn't anything like the way I portray him in the show. Oprah Winfrey doesn't talk anything like the way I do her in the show. I don't make that connection. There are real people who do the rice-and-peas stuff and I got that from some of my black friends - that's why I do it. If there are people like that, am I not allowed to do it?"

His intentions might not be racist, I point out, but he uses the same cliches in his portrayal of black people that openly racist people use. "Who is racist?" he asks rhetorically. "The people who are worrying about it! They're the racists! Because I don't worry about it. I'm just seeing it as giving Oprah a different voice. I don't care that she's black. I think people go around treading on eggshells and worrying, 'Ooh, is he racist?' No! You're fucking racist because you're worrying about it. I'm not worrying about it because I know I'm not racist!"

But what if he offends people even if it was not his intention to do so? "No one's ever come up to me in the street and said I was being racist." What if the people who find him offensive are choosing just to ignore him in the street? "Well, all I can say is sorry. It were funny though, weren't it? And it didn't kill anyone."

pointless & uncalled for

11:28 / 11.10.06

And what if there is? That's part of the purpose of ranting surely.

Alas a subtle rant against stereotyping.

All Acting Regiment

13:08 / 11.10.06

No! You're fucking racist because you're worrying about it.

Dickhead.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

13:11 / 11.10.06

I'm not worrying about it because I know I'm not racist!

In the words of the wise Legba, "DICKHEAD".

13:26 / 11.10.06

(Prescott)'s a bad example to use there Stoatie

I don't think so- I think he would benefit from a veil. It might make face to face communication easier for me.

Anyway, my anger today is sparked by the front page of the Independent, full of statistics on American consumption as the US population hits 300 million soon;
5lbs- Amount of waste each US resident produces per day. That compares with about 3lbs per person per day in Europe, and about 0.9-1.3lbs per person a day in the developing world
LEARN TO RECYCLE, DUDES! Five pounds a day each?! Sheesh.

58bn Number of burgers consumed by Americans every year
54m Number of Americans who are obese
300,000 Deaths per year related to obesity

If it were just obese people eating them that would about three every day each. No wonder they die of obesity and produce five pounds of rubbish, it's burger wrappers.

678lbs US annual paper consumption per head
115lbs The corresponding figure for the world

That's nearly two pounds of paper each every day- the rubbish statistic is starting to make sense now.

204m number of vehicles on US roads
37% Percentage of the total cars in the world on America's roads
1 in 7 Barrels of world oil supply used by US drivers
24m Number of Americans who drive SUVs

Aha, they really *do* need to invade other countries to secure more oil.

What worries me is lots of Americans aren't fat burger guzzling SUV drivers running over skunks while on their mobile phone throwing paper away, and are actively fighting against all this, which means that for every american living sustainably below these figures there is another consuming even more. Those are *average* figures.

So for every hippy vegetarian cyclist in the states there's a corresponding person who eats a dozen burgers a week and owns three cars. It makes me angry.

All Acting Regiment

13:33 / 11.10.06

Norwich Union advert: "In the time it takes to read a bed time story...(text fades out, new text in)...You could get a life insurance cover quote!"

Oh, fuck off, Norwich union.

Our Lady Has Left the Building

14:22 / 11.10.06

On the subject of Leigh Francis, it is reassuring that he's made this spectacularly pointless and stupid TV show and Channel4 are falling over themselves to read wit and intelligence into it, when they recently had one of those '50 greatest comedy sketches of all time' shows and Francis got in twice, it seemed the only person who'd come on camera to talk about it was the commissioning editor of C4.

11:46 / 12.10.06

Take the Action
Free yourself from the tyranny of masturbation! Everyone knows that pleasure is a sin! Stop wasting your life with physical sensation and get down to your capitalist enterprise! Everyone knows that genital are dirty!

Makes me sick.

11:58 / 12.10.06

After I masturbate I feel guilt. I want to overcome this habit.

Easy. Stop feeling guilty.

12:08 / 12.10.06

I like how hands are featured so prominently on that off-site get-off-beat-off site. Getting beyond the usual depression at human ignorance when reading it, hilarity ensues.
Do I need special equipment?

I am masturbating and I feel inside my self that it is wrong

I see successful people and want to become like them. I understand that I spend most of my time in masturbation and that they don't

Masturbation destroys your health

You waste your valuable time on masturbation

Weakens your ability to make money

P.P.S. The introductory price of $47 will be substantially increased soon. I have received feedback that this price is much too low. So Buy Now and Save!

pointless & uncalled for

12:12 / 12.10.06

I see successful people and want to become like them. I understand that I spend most of my time in masturbation and that they don't.

Is there some kind of fashion for stalking your idols to determine their sexual habits that I don't know about?

If so, what equipment do I need?

ONLY NICE THINGS

12:15 / 12.10.06

I am masturbating and I feel inside my self that it is wrong

Well, if it starts coming out red, inside your self it probably is...

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