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The principle effects of exercises such as this one and e-prime are to create feelings of overwhelming smugness and one-upmanship in practitioners and engender an entirely misplaced sense of superiority over all the lower circuit mammals that haven't read the same hippy self-help books and are therefore clueless to the vastly transformative properties inherent in cutting the word "is" out of your vocabulary.
If only we could all just stop using the word "kitten" in conversation, the world would be an infinitely sexier and more satisfying place to live. I have it on good authority from Gavin, who sells me weed in the park on Sunday afternoons, that language structures reality. Lately, I've been making a sterling effort to avoid the use of the words "wigwam", "triceratops", "mismatched" and "swaddling". The results have been extraordinary. I'm already noticing subtle delusions of grandeur starting to form in my interactions with work colleagues, and most of all, I think I've really managed to convince myself that the practice is contributing to my own personal evolution and the glorious destiny of the human race. If I can just keep a strict handle on my use of language, I'm confident that all my problems and neuroses will sort themselves out, and my magical cock will probably swell to gargantuan proportions by the time I'm done.
If everyone could just be more bloody careful about how they talk about things, then by 2012, we'd all be living in miraculous castles made out of weed and empty bottles of white cider, and nobody will ever use the word "was" ever again. It'll be fucking fantastic! What's more, I've heard that the deeper levels of e-prime practice are rumoured to open a Qlippothic tunnel into practitioner's own arse, the labyrinthine depths of which the master e-primomancer can disappear like that — *snaps fingers dramatically*.
Gipsy Lantern's satirical language takes on linguistic sartori, splendid stuff. |
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