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15:50 / 05.10.04

Bloody hell. Can I retract my bid?

Regrettable Juvenilia

19:10 / 05.10.04

I though the "consider Bast a friend" gag was much stronger.

XXII:X:II = XXX

08:10 / 06.10.04

It's been diluted through repetition. It's soooo last week.

/+,

ONLY NICE THINGS

10:16 / 06.10.04

Back to the quotage. Grant on the problems of getting into the USA to work in these post-9/11 days:

It's a lot more complicated than it used to be, that's for sure. Some economics professor was on the radio yesterday -- just did a book on how the new stringency with immigration rules is damaging America's economy by basically driving the best and the brightest in the world to places like Canada or Sweden. So all those Chinese nuclear physicists and Pakistani hydraulics engineers are, like, trying to get into the States, getting turned away or hassled away, and heading to greener pastures. Where they're boosting productivity & making wonderful inventions.

Like Volvo's flying robots, or the Royal Canadian Mounted Clone Army.

Secret of comedy? Timing.

04:43 / 07.10.04

Lord Morgue explains the intricacies of obscure Jedi terminology for all us wannabe fat-beards:

Dun Möch- Sith art of trash-talk, aided by Force-inspired insights. Palpatine was a master sledger- "THHHRIKE me down withhh all your hatred!" Vader usually just got himself in worse trouble when he tried it.
"Your feelings for them are strong, especially... siiiisterr!"
"I DON'T FUCKING FANCY HER, ALRIGHT!?"
"What? OW! Oh shit, my hand..."

14:48 / 07.10.04

From the Most Romantic Thing Thread:

Kit-Cat Club: My boyfriend once gave me a biscuit...
Ex: Hey! He told me he was just going to borrow that biscuit!
Haus: What could be more romantic than sharing the biscuit?
Arms House: What kind of biscuit was it?
Kit-Cat Club: I think it was a ginger biscuit.
Haus: Oh God.

11:43 / 12.10.04

I'm listening to Photek now, anyone ever heard this music? I bet you have and don't even know it. You know Blade, where Deacon Frost, (Stephen Dorff) is sat in the library listening to that Techno tune? Well that's Photek.

This stuff is so awesome that there's no possible way words can describe it........no, there's no way.

the cosmic fireman gets better and better and better and better and better and

and why was cecil b demented on that nineties rock'n'roll fame thing the other night? everyone loves him and respects his opinion of course, but does he know the rock?

15:23 / 12.10.04

Stoatie hates it when someone phones him...

up drunk every time your dog looks at you funny cos you're paranoid she might be ill when she quite blatantly isn't?

I like that a dog can be blatantly not ill. Little bitch!

unheimlich manoeuvre

22:21 / 15.10.04

Persephone:

Jack Fear's not Zeus. Jack Fear is Cronus.

Jack Fear:

* burps *

'scuse me.

Mythological humour.

only on barbelith.

17:47 / 19.10.04

Meem on the look-e-like-es thread;

White is undefeated in the Von-Bondieweight category, but don't forget Jackson can turn into a big robot, as seen in the documentary Moonwalker...

Made me chuckle

14:51 / 20.10.04

"These are the times I like Barbelith best, I think; when it succeeds in polishing turds."

Words of wisdom brought to you by Ganesh. Here.

ONLY NICE THINGS

11:54 / 22.10.04

polaris - tricky one really. i don't think i've got a single comic that she's in where she doesn't spend at least half of it unconscious. then she wakes up, says 'i'm not as powerrful as magneto y'know' and goes back to sleep again.

Although my memories of Polaris include her having dinner with Havok at the start of Inferno, and going all badnasty and joining the marauders, Gambit does rather capture the essence of the character here...

20:32 / 23.10.04

Stoatie:
A big YAY to (I think it was) Smoothly, for brouhaha.

I also love shenanigans, palaver, to-do, hullaballoo and imbroglio.

Bedhead
Stoatie: you appear to have been possessed by Sandi Toksvig. Remain calm. Help is on the way, in the meantime try to avoid balderdash, fiddle-faddle and poppycock.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

01:07 / 06.11.04

the problem with that is that there are two of us. it's not that we're basically nice and we occasionally go nuts. we're like a couple locked in an abusive relationship, and the way you folks handle the "special relationship" means you're as nice to the abuser as you are to the abused.

from my perspective, Blue America is the battered wife, and Red America is her brutish husband. Britain is the charming, sympathetic neighbor who never seems to get the clue that he needs to call the cops. it's like you show up on the doorstep, and the hubby says "everything's fine! thanks for coming over!" and the wife has a black eye and keeps silently mouthing "help me! help me!" and you just smile and wave and go back to your house. then when the other neighbors (like the French and the Germans) come to you and say "that Red America is crazy. he's trying to take over the neighborhood, and look at how he treats his wife! let's band together to protect ourselves!" you say "oh, no, those Americans are such a nice couple. you just don't understand them like i do. we have a special relationship!" and nothing gets done. it's frustrating.

Diz nails the US/UK "special relationship". Class.

unheimlich manoeuvre

01:26 / 06.11.04

(threadrot)
Britain is the charming, sympathetic neighbor who ... has armed groups of America's children in bases all over the "house".
(/threadrot)

Less searchable M0rd4nt

09:01 / 06.11.04

The resistable rise of Reidcourchie : I spent Halloween locked in my flat afraid of zombies.

Again.

Ganesh: It's usually Valentine's Day does that to me.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

15:17 / 10.11.04

Bizunth makes me laugh in the Get Over the Invisibles thread:

That's right, you're either with us or against us.

Hey, that's catchy!

15:43 / 10.11.04

"Barbelith is stupid."

- my son, age 4

15:50 / 10.11.04

Aww, that's sweet. Show him this thread, Barbelillith.

THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS!

15:53 / 10.11.04

THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS!

He tells that to other kids, Bizunth.

16:13 / 10.11.04

This has bothered me for a long time. WP, how is Wandsworth like 'Nam?

I was born in Wandsworth, and have lived here most my life, how HOW, tell me?

Whisky Priestess

17:31 / 10.11.04

Because you can't understand what it's like unless you've been there. There are no tubes, there's no ... I'm sorry, I'm getting flashbacks, I'll have to lie down.

17:45 / 10.11.04

We have tubes - tooting broadway, bec, balham, clapham south, east putney, putney bridge...

Granted, the circle wandsworths rim like some mockary of a transport link - but hey come on, we have a michalin starred resraurant, and the arndale centre that featured on several episodes of classic Grange Hill...

Whisky Priestess

20:19 / 10.11.04

Far be it from me to mock Wandsworth, but it is a unique experience*, much like 'Nam was, wouldn't you say?

(Apologies for threadrot, all)

* not necessarily a bad experience

21:51 / 10.11.04

I thought it was the way the locals participated in a mass uprising during the Tet holiday...

Whisky Priestess

02:54 / 11.11.04

Oh yeah, that too.

15:18 / 11.11.04

I thought it was just tatty and offensive. YMV

Whisky Priestess

11:46 / 15.11.04

I have prepared an army of MONKEYS WITH ROBOT ARMS, F-22 FIGHTERS PILOTED BY RAT BRAINS, and SEXY PLATYPUS IN MINISKIRTS in anticipation of your return.
We shall show these fools that blowjobs ARE an acceptable means of political change!

Lord Morgue as the bastard child of Dr. Strangelove and Cartman, in Von Kpbra's Tripe thread.

ONLY NICE THINGS

09:46 / 18.11.04

Jesus. Listening to all that hip hop must make you pure hip hop.

Are you hip hop?

Seth employs both grace and economy.

06:18 / 25.11.04

MacGyver in the "Jeans" thread in Art, Fashion and Design:

"Always been an elasticated waist band fan myself. No it isn't '"""cool"""" but it is practical.

10:49 / 30.11.04

Sean the frumious Bandersnatch
in The Lateshift Remembers:
Let's all sing Meludreen a lullabye.

go to sleep, go to sleep,
go to sleep so i can rob you
when you're dreaming,
i am thieving,
so go to bed god damn it

Poetry.

14:07 / 30.11.04

Excuse me, goddammit, but we are looking for wit here, not whatever that is.

Sorry, Sean.

14:18 / 02.12.04

Following a sober discussion on the "Do you assume someone is less intelligent if they dress up "all cool looking"" thread.

The naughty Harrison Ford strikes.

These blokes look pretty cool & they're fucking thick. The one on the left can't even feed himself & as for the one on the right he's a bit brighter but he's just a bloody thug.

03:15 / 03.12.04

Tom Coates puts it well in the Policy thread about Censorship Among Occult Practitioners:

"A community of 900 regular attendees seems to me to be something that doesn't just fall out of someone's ass, but actually has to be worked at and developed."

Sean the frumious Bandersnatch

04:35 / 03.12.04

No offense taken, Qalyn...Qromm...whatever the fuck it is. I didn't think it was that clever either, and the neurotic part of me has decided that levkar put it in here just to taunt me.

Anyway, I love this quote of Lord Morgue's, from the marvel surgery thread.

I liked when Pandemonium was using Wanda's babies for arms- he should have done, like, some kind of puppet show with them, like a Punch and Judy thing.

No, not exactly wit either, but a beautiful sentence nonetheless.

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