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Squirmelia, one of the Secret Masters of Barbelith, on anti-beardism:
1. Having to kiss my father on the cheek (or actually, beard, not cheek) as a young child.
2. Inability to grow one myself.
3. Beard hairs that somehow fall out during intimate acts, and then you're suddenly covered in someone else's beard hair.
4. The Twits. So much bad stuff might get caught up in those beards.
5. "Beard" meaning "untrue" in certain dialects.
6. It being more difficult to tell people apart with beards. On that Beard Championship website, I swear that half of them are actually the same person, disguised by beards.
It's the gradualism that gets me. |
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