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illmatic
11:16 / 06.04.04
This made me smile and laugh simultaneously, while eating a sandwich, causing a shocking noise and and unpleasant spectacle for my works collegues:

Fraley on Lighting Bolt in the All Tomorrow's Parties thread: "The most physical musical experience for me, ever. Real danger from the crush combined with the most exciting music of the day and a few mushrooms made for one of those experiences that leaves you thinking about how humans are fucking great."

I saw Lighting Bolt last week. They fucking rule. Humans are great, aren't they?
 
 
The Tower Always Falls
16:59 / 12.04.04
In the "If we all get wasted and blah blah supercontext-cakes" thread.

If I weren't at work, I would show you how much that resembles pictures of Annie Sprinkle's cervix.

Truly. All the Magic Eye references afterward doesn't hold a candle.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
10:20 / 14.04.04
No offence to the Falcon, but I have to quote the God Seth MC for this:

[Y]ou fell off c. your last post.

It's perfect for so many occasions!
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
16:00 / 14.04.04
A thread full of gems, particularly Flyboy's picture (I larfed and larfed), but especially this, from Ex :

This may all sound very harsh. I'm usually a softly-spoken lovely, dispensing kittens from my basket of ahhhhh. But -you've posted private correspondence on a public website? You attribute obsessive, manipulative motivations to someone you're obsessed with?
I'm holding your passport to self-awaria. I'll leave the others to stamp all over it...
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
16:01 / 14.04.04
And Smoothly also makes me choke on my tea :

I dunno. There might be something to what he says. Kirsty Wark flirts with me through the TV. The little minx.
 
 
Grey Area
16:06 / 14.04.04
Smoothly Weaving's entry in the Caption Contest thread:


"Confusion reigns as US government orders operatives to get a hold of Hamas"
 
 
penitentvandal
20:18 / 14.04.04
Haus scores again with this genius contrib from the stalking thread:

There is arguably a case for people looking each other up on Friends Reunited and seeing if the old flame/hormonal surge is still working, but not when one party has in the intervening DECADE made the other party into the breasty Christ who will solve all his problems with her return.

And well done Grey Area too, for inventing what will now be a catchphrase of mine from now on, the fantastic mysterious mystery mysteron stalker.

Though 'mysterious mystery mysteron' could be applied to anything, really...
 
 
The Falcon
23:09 / 14.04.04
It works better in context, Flyboy.

Anyway, I'm not offended. He called me 'dear', which has happened to me twice (and only) here, but is still nice, like being patronised(?) by your mum.
 
 
Baz Auckland
03:28 / 15.04.04
Puck in the absinthe thread, mostly for c):

you see because we had a drink we figured that
a) we would be more confident on our skates and therefore better
b) if we did fall over our bodys would be more relaxed and we wouldnt hurt ourselves just like the tv's "fall guy"
and c) we was each others best mate and i loved him and i dont care what that slag sez cos she dosnt know you like i do and we should move to hollywood and fight crime. on skates
 
 
_pin
23:25 / 15.04.04
Flyboy is a funny man. I like Flyboy.

Do you like Godspeed? Do you like Mogwai? Congratulations, maybe you and Explosions In The Sky could get married! A few people tell me before and after that this band are “beautiful”, but those people might like Sigur Ros too, y’know. Me, I just don’t have the patience. Snooze.

Two years ago at this festival Threnody Ensemble were great, and maybe it’s them or maybe it’s me, but today I don’t have the patience for them either, because when we walk into the downstairs venue we are confronted with the sight of a crowd of people standing there listening politely to static. Actual static. Radio interference noise. They all have instruments in their hand and it keeps looking like something’s going to happen and then… Nope. Okay, enough of that.

But then I start to feel a little bit guilty, see, and I start to think maybe I should be more patient with these bands, which is why I and others end up spending what seems like an eternity in a sweltering darkened room watching Jackie-O Motherfucker… tune up? Soundcheck? Play? It’s not entirely clear. People wander on and off the stage, light up, smoke, muck about with the settings on equipment and… what do we hear? A slow build-up to nothing, tantalizing snatches of something approaching melody, fading back into tape hiss, directionless drum beats… Ooooh, “Adventures In Contemporary Sound!” They may have a great name, but I’m afraid Jackie-O Motherfucker are officially borecore.


(Flyboy, on borecore things at ATP. I realise the above quote is very long, but everyone deserves the respect they, um... deserve. Yeeaaaaaah... )
 
 
Char Aina
02:24 / 16.04.04
a good thread with some good thoughts and one great quote.
topical too, recontextualised in the current world climate.

Kennedy said: If you make peaceful change impossible, you make violent change inevitable.
 
 
---
03:24 / 16.04.04
This was actually fired at me but i just had to quote it, it's from the superconext thread in here and it's from Bedhead :

What exactly is it that you want us ‘all’ to do, Jack? Wank off while looking at your (ahem) schooner, is that right? And this will bring about the end of the world, yes? And you believe this would be A Good Thing and fun and stuff because a comic book told you so?

Dude. You’re mock-proof.
 
 
Baz Auckland
09:55 / 16.04.04
Czernobog's drunken ramblings... read the whole post for entire comedic effect...

Every now and then around this time of year, I buy one of those four-packs of marshmallow chicks down at the drugstore. When I get home, I open it up and line the four of them along my kitchen counter. I pretend they are my children and give them names. After a few minutes of staring at my children I give them nicknames appropriate to their personalities. A little after that, I decide what their hobbies are and their aspirations for when they grow up. It's not much later that I've figured out who gets bullied by the others and who isn't doing so well in school. I reassure them that the world is actually a very nice place and that if they work hard and never give up they can be whatever they want to be...
 
 
bjacques
10:36 / 16.04.04
Well, at least now you won't have to counsel Sluggo for survivor's guilt...but do you ask yourself why this cruel passion play must be repeated every year?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:05 / 16.04.04
Flowers lays into victim-complex Xavier:

He lives on a planet filled with people like Tony Stark who can invent things to get around disability. He has a couple of doodads in his Shi'ar kitbag that allow him to walk. The Shi'ar already cloned him a new body once. The guy is a dick.

Personally, I like the idea that Stark, the Shi'Ar etc are all refusing to give him the power to walk, because he'll only fuck it up. Again.
 
 
Grey Area
12:18 / 16.04.04
Saveloy's thread title:
God Almighty but it's quiet today. Let's look at some hunky vicars.

OF course, the question on everyone's mind is: Never mind how quiet it is, why was Saveloy looking for hunky vicars?
 
 
Bed Head
20:52 / 16.04.04
Kovacs:

Yeah, I feel really disloyal saying it but it looks fucking nice. It looks like a pack of alcoholic Refreshers.

That’s probably the best description yet of what the brave new Barbelith looks like. So I hereby claim this quote for Barbelith in the spirit of cultural imperialism, ie blatant theft. All your quote are belong to us, now. Your old board has been annexed and will be plundered for its natural resources, and we will reimburse you with huggles and meaningless accolades like this.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
21:02 / 16.04.04
Aheh.
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
12:46 / 17.04.04
Jack Fear delivers his version of Bin Laden offering a truce to Europe...

Osama: So, Europe, here's the deal--I'm Hitler, you're Stalin: you stay out of my way so I can deliver the beatdown to the Great Satan. Sounds fair?

Europe: ...what?

USA: So what am I, frickin' Poland? Get bent, asshole.

Poland: Hey...!

USA: Oh, Christ... No offense, okay? I mean, Jesus.
 
 
Jack Fear
12:47 / 17.04.04
Damn, Lady, that was quick off the mark...
 
 
Baz Auckland
14:05 / 17.04.04
A second vote for Jack Fear there...
 
 
Ella mentry
14:59 / 17.04.04
a quote on TMO..



Samuel Norton..more interesting than google
 
 
---
22:03 / 19.04.04
I love this from the Al Qaeda Wizards thread in Magick :

Post 1 : Is the reason al queda remained so elusive is there spellcasting skills?

Enter toksik :
Post 2 : no.
Post 3 : yes.
Post 4 : well, thats the minimalist discussion of al quaeda's magickal prowess complete, can we lock the thread?
 
 
40%
12:40 / 20.04.04
This is genius

I think it's the careful use of punctuation that makes it.
 
 
illmatic
12:59 / 21.04.04
However, I'm wary of the Temple ending up like so many other magic fora on the net: a bunch of one-post topics started by people called .:xXstarchyldeXx:. ("hi i want a luv spel to make the cute guyz in scool like me also a curse so my stepmom dies. PS its ok i am a wite whitch who is a elf n also a cat xx") or 666SATANISLORD666 ("HI I WANT TO NO IF SATAN WILL APPEAR IF I FEED KITTENS TO MY SNAKE IF SO WHAT COLOR KITTENS AND WHERE DO I GET A SNAKE ps HAIL SATAN"). Just sayin'.

Mordant Carnival, makes me laugh HARD, in a rare barbequote from Policy. I feel her pain. I'm thinking of getting a Magick Forum Moderators Support Circle together. ("No, no, not sigils again ...." *weeping into kleenex*)
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
15:54 / 21.04.04
Illmatic... the combination of sigils and kleenex in such close proximity renders your last statement also eligible for quoting.
 
 
penitentvandal
16:24 / 21.04.04
Anyway, the point is this issue dealt with some really heavy moral issues, but then also had a man fucking a woman made of meat. It's that dichotomy that really makes Preacher unique.

Ennis should buy that for the back of the TPB reprints.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
16:28 / 21.04.04
Aren't all women made of meat? Or did I fall asleep during one of my biology lessons?
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
16:28 / 21.04.04
I thought all women were made of meat.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
16:31 / 21.04.04
Dude our brains just synchronised. Try this: What number am I thinking of?
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
16:36 / 21.04.04
If I know you, you are always looking out for number one.

(that's me, by the way.)
 
 
Seth
23:45 / 21.04.04
Your mum is your patron?
 
 
Char Aina
05:22 / 23.04.04
HAY! HAY! first of all, creepy mcgoo, there's no need to pull me close enough to tonguefuck my ear when you talk to me! second of all! are you listening? oh, ok. if you ever look down my shirt again I'm going to scream OLD PERVERT JACKASS like my face is on fire, you got me?


its like i was there...
that post and the marshmallow children post are two of the best things on the boards: in the one thread!
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
08:45 / 23.04.04
johnj: CAN U MKE JENIFA NSITON LUV ME1?!?!!??!?1/1!?!?1?!?!1/!?!?!/!!?1/1/1/

I KNOW SHE DOESNTRILLY LUV HER HUSBAND11!1!!

E. Randy Dupre: I suspect that we'd have trouble making your mother love you.
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
13:44 / 23.04.04
An oldie but goodie, which I found while scrummaging in the Temple for stuff on runes...

Rev. Jesse 'fraid I am at work and they frown on casting runes as a customer service exercise. Can't imagine why, the pig-entrials seem to be great for troubleshooting servers...
 
  

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