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Big Brother 2006

 
  

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Alex's Grandma
12:10 / 10.07.06
She seems keen to insert herself into House dramas, wherever they occur, but she seems peculiarly inept at actually making contact with other human beings in a meaningful way. She comes across like someone who's read Human Interaction For Dummies and is trying out the practical exercises for the first time.

Indeed. She's got all the emotional intelligence of a bar of soap, but that doesn't seem to stop her from displaying it whenever possible, pretty much entirely regardless of the consequences.

Her big mistake seems to be acting like she's known the version 01 housemates for weeks - it may feel that way to her, if she's been watching the show with all the fervour of a full-blown addict(nothing wrong with that, after all,) but seeing as they don't know her from Adam, she can't help but seem like a crazy person.

Guessing she's been the head of the office she's in for some time, and so is completely unused to dealing with other people on an equal footing. Wherever she works though, I imagine her colleagues will be spending large sums of cash on texting, frantically, to keep her in the house for as long as possible. Certainly, if I was on her team, I'd be thinking seriously about cutbacks I could make in my monthly expenditure.
 
 
Peach Pie
14:12 / 10.07.06
what was with Pete's claim that suzie had told lea that pete was just being nice to her for the cameras? it didn't seem like something suzie would say. did anyone witness the original comment?
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
14:49 / 10.07.06
Now, who could possibly be the weak link in that particular chain of reported speech?

KKAAAWWWWWW!
 
 
Peach Pie
14:58 / 10.07.06
Pete's buying into it tho. that's the cary part. *pooor* suzie
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
15:20 / 10.07.06
I came round to Ganesh's rather dim view of Pete last week, when he alternated between telling Aisleyne how great she was and how much he'd missed her, and listening to Jayne's nonsense, even at one point joining in the face-pulling that Jayne was doing in imitation of Aisleyne's tears. Okay, I'm sure he didn't realise that was what Jayne was doing, but I think he ought to have done, or at least he ought to make the fucking connection between "I really like this person" and "I will not put up with people being horrible about this person".
 
 
■
15:29 / 10.07.06
Oh, FFS, 14 pages of catch-up for a week of missed BB? I'm sure I'll get round to it all eventually, but could anyone be so kind as to give me a haiku synopsis of Aisleyne's week of mini-houseness so I can watch tonight and have some idea what's going on?
 
 
Peach Pie
15:52 / 10.07.06

Nikki's now decided to make Jennie the focal point for her resentment after failing to win the heart of Pete. When a more obvious choice would be... Pete.
 
 
Peek
17:00 / 10.07.06
could anyone be so kind as to give me a haiku synopsis of Aisleyne's week of mini-houseness so I can watch tonight and have some idea what's going on?

I'll give it a go... ahem.

Ash rules happy gang
evicts three to old house, hah!
oops, last choice goes home
 
 
Peach Pie
17:21 / 10.07.06
Ash, Spiral remain
to garner Jonathan gain
but end up with pain
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
18:05 / 10.07.06
Oh for fuck's sake. ALL the housemates are up for eviction this week, EXCEPT Jayne, as a result of something Jayne did. What arseleakage. I was sure Jayne would go... Well, it'll be interesting to see how the polls point.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
18:40 / 10.07.06
I suppose it was clear enough the production team was going to do everything they could to keep Jayne on the show, such an irritant is she, but even so, that's really not much of a punishment, is it? The forthcoming Nikki fits about the injustice of it all seem to be already out there in the ether somewhere, just waiting to be spoken, so unless she can manage to channel them as amusing Nikki, rather than the full-on, six year old, graphic reason to have a vasectomy version, her or Susie to go this week, I reckon.
 
 
Peach Pie
18:52 / 10.07.06
given that there's no such thing as a 'plant' on big brother (it serves endemol to pick the brashest, most contentious people they can find) i still wonder if jayne had a brief from the producers.

1) some of the things she says are just so cringiingly tactless (witness her meeting aisleyne for the first time) it's as if she's making the gaffes delibnerately
2) there was a red top story about agents briefing people before they appeared
3) she works in television. maybe she *knows* *people*
 
 
Ganesh
19:19 / 10.07.06
This is a popular DS angle but no, I don't honestly think people are 'briefed' in that sense. I certainly don't think they're told, "make lots of social gaffes by doing X, Y and Z" and I don't think it's an easy thing to consistently 'act' crassness. Obviously Endemol select people they think are going to cause friction; I doubt that they then tutor then in so doing.
 
 
h1ppychick
19:21 / 10.07.06
Can someone give Nikki a fucking slap from me? Please?
 
 
Ganesh
19:23 / 10.07.06
What with the sulking-but-refusing-to-address-the-problem stuff with Aisleyne and the tennis task, my Nikki-love is dissipating fast...
 
 
■
19:32 / 10.07.06
Thanks people, I'm impressed. They really are fucking everyone about this year, aren't they?
 
 
h1ppychick
19:33 / 10.07.06
Jayne trying to bump and grind in competition with the young nubiles is, frankly, quite embarrassing.
 
 
Jack Vincennes
19:35 / 10.07.06
I just hope she never has a mind to kick me to death.

Spiral in the diary room talking about Aisleyne was intensely creepy. I might have just done a little sick in my mouth.
 
 
Triplets
19:37 / 10.07.06
given that there's no such thing as a 'plant' on big brother (it serves endemol to pick the brashest, most contentious people they can find) i still wonder if jayne had a brief from the producers.

So she's not a plant[super secret wink] but a plant[SUPER DUPER SUPER SECRET WINK]? Give it a rest, please.
 
 
Ganesh
19:39 / 10.07.06
I suppose it was clear enough the production team was going to do everything they could to keep Jayne on the show, such an irritant is she, but even so, that's really not much of a punishment, is it? The forthcoming Nikki fits about the injustice of it all seem to be already out there in the ether

Agreed that it's more of a punishment for us, the viewers, than anyone else - but Nikki is, by all accounts, hugely relieved that everyone's up. Her sullen insecurity-projecting at Aisleyne might see her booted, though. Alternatively, it could be Suzie, or even Dickie...
 
 
h1ppychick
19:42 / 10.07.06
top lol @ Nikkiface. That was worth the price of admission alone.
 
 
Triplets
19:44 / 10.07.06
Snogging means fingers on keyboards tonight, obviously. Pete copping for Ash!! Poor Nik, so not-gutted, honest.

I can see Pete's charm though. Whennee was talking with Jennie, that whole 'oh I'll tell you, no no, actually, but wait, maybe" coyness.
 
 
Ganesh
19:44 / 10.07.06
Ahh, Nikki and her amazing vanishing smile...
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
19:45 / 10.07.06


I'll admit it, I thought that was hot. But what are we to make of Pete looking very jealous earlier when Mikey was telling bizarre-faced creaturewoman Nikki that she was a "babe" with a "baby's bum"? I think Pete may be a little... confused...
 
 
h1ppychick
19:47 / 10.07.06
I think Nikki's true home would be in 2000BC. Wrapped in furs, furrowed Cro-Magnon brow, grunting in monosyllables.
 
 
h1ppychick
19:49 / 10.07.06
Spiral is Kevin the Teenager, methinks.
 
 
Ganesh
19:51 / 10.07.06
I don't think Pete does jealousy. I'm not sure he'd be able to pull off this whole blurry-boundaries, multiple almost-but-not-sure maybe-girlfriends thing if he were the jealous type.

This week's (or maybe last week's - 'twas in the supermarket on Friday) More has an interview with yet another female insisting she's Pete's girlfriend, dishing the dirt on their "sexy secrets" ("sexy massage", apparently) and saying something faintly twisty along the lines of "I don't know how things will go after he leaves the House, but we'll be friends forever".

Spoiral's fairly spitting the dummy, eh?
 
 
h1ppychick
19:56 / 10.07.06
it's Nikki's look of pained incomprehension which oh-so-rapidly becomes a full-on crying jag that winds me up. That and the draaaawled way she has of talking which makes me want to punch her in the head.

Woo. well spotted Glyn. You're just so intuitive.
 
 
Ganesh
19:58 / 10.07.06
That and the draaaawled way she has of talking which makes me want to punch her in the head.

The draaaaawling seems to increase in direct proportion to the amount of alcohol she's consumed.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
20:11 / 10.07.06
Someone should have explained to Spiral that Nikki's face always does that. Anyway, if you think he was bad last night, wait 'til you some see what he was like this morning:

"You've been flirting with me and I thought we were getting on well. So to reject me like that, people will be at home laughing at me," moaned Spiral.

Now it was Aisleyne who lost her temper, snapping: "Rejected? Yeah that's why you're in the House, because I rejected you." Then she stormed off, kissing her teeth as she went.

She left the rapper muttering to himself: "You're just a little Mickey teaser, that's all you are. You're on this earth for attention, playing games with people's heads and making a d*** out of them on TV. You're a walking tease."


Nice. A possible choice for eviction?
 
 
Ganesh
20:21 / 10.07.06
Let's hope so.
 
 
Ganesh
20:27 / 10.07.06
Nikki really needs to learn the difference between

"I feel uncomfortable and self-conscious"

and

"I am being made to feel uncomfortable and self-conscious"

and all that that difference entails.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
20:39 / 10.07.06
Aisleyne has been teasing Spiral's mickey? Baaaaaaad Ais.

SPIRAL OUT!
 
 
Ganesh
20:40 / 10.07.06
Reeeally not liking Spoiral's combination of perceived "disrespect" and abhorrence of Nikki's "smart faces". Puts me in mind of sexually rejected men who wipe "smart faces" off "disrespectful" women in a rather more physical way...
 
 
Jub
07:55 / 11.07.06
[aside] has anyone seen that lenor ad – I think it is – with the posh woman getting ready to meet someone: “sorry stuck in traffic!” she impishly states, before sticking her phone out the window to the traffic below to prove the point – similarly she indicates she’s stuck in roadworks by running her phone over the corrugations of the old iron radiator.

She’s so Susie. [/aside]
 
  

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