Big Brother 2006

18:44 / 06.07.06

D'you think if he has to interview Richard he'll just brain him and then claim 'homosexual panic' as his defense, then?

Though given the way things have gone he'll probably just say it's just who he is, babes, deal with it.

18:46 / 06.07.06

When Dermot interviews Richard, I suspect he'll be a little more muted than usual - certainly less casually flirty - until he establishes to his own satisfaction that he's not going to be sexually terrorised.

18:57 / 06.07.06

Aha. You mean that, like Russell Brand's, Dermot's ball bags have a life of their own?

18:58 / 06.07.06

And hopefully Richard will finally step up to the plate with the 'sexual terror'...

18:58 / 06.07.06

You mean that, like Russell Brand's, Dermot's ball bags have a life of their own?

I suspect Dermot's retract into his abdomen when he contemplates Dickie.

slagar

19:12 / 06.07.06

I don't think Nikki would necessarily have been that sensible, or Lea. Or even Richard: he'd have chucked Spoiral.

Nikki sensible in that situation? Having not been evicted, put into a new house with new housemates, and her sleep being woken by Jayne breaking the bed. Nope, i doubt very much she would have been sensible. i'm sure we missed a great diary room entry there, though.

19:19 / 06.07.06

Nikki's reactions are anything but predictable - and she thinks Jayne's funnee.

Tryphena Absent

19:26 / 06.07.06

Hahaha. Glad they showed that footage of Jayne being nasty.

19:29 / 06.07.06

Yeah, see Jayne backtrack. Backtrack, Jayne, backtrack.

19:33 / 06.07.06

Christ, it really is awful. No way to edit that out.

19:41 / 06.07.06

With Nikki for den mother, I expect they'd all have volunteered for eviction at very turn.

God, squirming all over again watching last night's highlights. First time anyone ever said I don't want to go in there! prior to entering the House.

GET JAYNE OUT! GET JAYNE OUT! GET JAYNE OUT! AND KEEP HER IN A CAVE SOMEWHERE FOR THE NEXT YEAR!

19:42 / 06.07.06

Aaaand forwardtrack again.

(If that's a word.)

19:46 / 06.07.06

Respect, Imogen! She didn't have to say to Nikki and Jayne, when they're hammering away at her in the bedroom with the Ais-hate, I'm glad Aisleyne's back, but she did, very assertively. Only taken seven weeks for me to have a positive thought about her, mind.

19:50 / 06.07.06

Mikey aside (and he's a bit of a cast-off), it's taken Imogen seven weeks to hitch her wagon to a horse that's not dead to the GBP.

19:52 / 06.07.06

Aww, I adore amusingly deadpan Big Brother cheering Aisleyne up in the Diary Room.

Smoothly

20:06 / 06.07.06

Although I find it hard to imagine feeling so bereaved had I been in Aisleyne's position (which wasn't exactly Sophie's choice), her devastation is clearly genuine. Jayne's response beggars belief.

Horrible, horrible to watch.

The homecoming we hoped for:

What we got:

I'm pleased she's managed to fix up since.

Regrettable Juvenilia

20:07 / 06.07.06

FIX UP, LOOK SHARP!

20:10 / 06.07.06

Nikki: 'It's my worst nightmare...'

NO, Nikki, your worst nightmare comes from McDonalds and contains two slices of beef and a gherkin.

Oh, and Russell - GET. NEW. JOKES. Seriously -

'velvetvandal's views on Big Brother are so (random adjective) that I went to (random location) and went up to (random person), pulled my trousers down, exposed my dinkle, and said 'lads, it's (random insult)'. They (random punning destruction of the penis). It's Big Brother's Big Arse!'

20:15 / 06.07.06

Although I find it hard to imagine feeling so bereaved had I been in Aisleyne's position (which wasn't exactly Sophie's choice), her devastation is clearly genuine.

Well, I think it's difficult, without being in that situation, to imagine it. I remember how stressed various Housemates over the years have become when forced to nominate - and that's a) anonymous, and b) universal. Having to choose between two people one likes a lot - openly, publicly, onscreen - knowing one's decision will definitely lead to one being booted (having spent the best part of a week hearing what being in the House means to him) and then having to face that person would be highly stressful. It'd fuck me up, probably for longer than a couple of hours.

20:18 / 06.07.06

Oh, and Russell - GET. NEW. JOKES. Seriously -

But it's all about the repetition.

Smoothly

20:20 / 06.07.06

Yes. And I also think I find it hard to imagine how much making it into the House must mean to them. Aisleyne would have appreciated the depth of disappointment Jonathan must have felt. So near, yet so far. She wasn't sending him to his death, but she was killing his dream.

20:24 / 06.07.06

Ganesh is quite happy to talk about how much he wants to put Grace through a door, or how he thinks Lea might be projecting her inadequacy onto the housemates, but when I suggested Russell Brand should get some new jokes, he looked at me as if I was no better than Shadowsax...

20:26 / 06.07.06

According to the BBBM fuckwit audience, Dickie's worried about his g*ypl*n. There's a host of keepLeainners, though. So, remember

Text LEA to 84444
Call 09011 32 33 07

20:27 / 06.07.06

I guess it's the way he tells 'em.

Regrettable Juvenilia

20:28 / 06.07.06

It would fuck me up, but I'd be okay once I'd hummed a few bars of 'Stand Up Tall'.

Regrettable Juvenilia

20:32 / 06.07.06

velvetvandal, I did the hilarious Brand pastiches weeks ago! The musical based on those half-affectionate, half-contemptuous homages has just opened in the West End, and now you've jumped on the bandwagon. I wouldn't mind, but as a result my lovely Shoreditch loft has been firebombed by a couple of members of your fanclub - THE SWINES!

20:33 / 06.07.06

Good clip on BBBM of Dickie comforting Dolly that gives necessary context to Dermot's ugly little besmirching job earlier. I think Russell's getting far better viewing figures than Dermolene these days, so hoping that might remedy some of the anti-Dickie message when there's still several hours left to vote 09011323307 and puncture Lea's bubble(s)!

Hadn't seen the clip before of Nikki screaming at Richard for ruining her banana and, as he walks away, he calls back to her, Sit on it, Nikki. It might cheer you up. *titters*

20:58 / 06.07.06

Aisleyne would have appreciated the depth of disappointment Jonathan must have felt. So near, yet so far. She wasn't sending him to his death, but she was killing his dream.

I think it's interesting to see which people can't even begin to empathise with the degree of guilt that that would engender. That's why I made the "psychopath" comment earlier re: Jayne. If she genuinely couldn't comprehend why Aisleyne was distressed, I imagine she'd score reasonably high on rating scales for psychopathy.

akira

21:19 / 06.07.06

The swine.

Alex's Grandma

21:22 / 06.07.06

Indeed. Jayne is a successful David Brent in a skirt and a headband, without any of the endearing qualities.

21:27 / 06.07.06

Hmm, according to the (by DS's account, somewhat unreliable) AOL poll, there's a whole lot of vote-swinging between Lea and Richard. Trying to put my hands on more reliable polls...

akira

21:35 / 06.07.06

Sorry Ganesh I [i]edited[/i] it right after I posted.