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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

Big Brother 2006

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21:37 / 30.06.06

I know Ganesh was just another gay man who happened to be in the room with me so I obviously ended up shagging him.

Dear Reader, I married him.

(Soon.)

21:43 / 30.06.06

It's so fab that Aisleyne is the Mama in the New House and they all must do her bidding. Jonathan brindling a bit about having her as an authority figure, if I understood him aright.

Aw, little Beary Michael has taken his shirt off and he's smooth. Disappointment. Excellent gut there though. Sexy paunchily beary bloke. Richard will be whimpering.

21:45 / 30.06.06

Live feed:
Jonathan
"Does anyone have a problem with authority?"
Spiral
"er yeah i do"
Jonathan
"Cos she (aislyne) is in charge"
sp
"oh ok... i thought you meant..."

v funny

21:47 / 30.06.06

The problem of novelty: I'm already intrigued with the New House and bored with the Old House.

Jonathan - bless his bubble-butt - seems to be isolating himself already, reading the BB manual in a corner. Baby GayBear has taken his shirt off and has no hair - but he's got a paunch! I think I'm in danger of overidentifying.

I've a feeling that, when Aisleyne's voted four people for 'eviction', they'll all be in the Old (Boring) House and she'll be left with her favourite - and I suspect the twist will be that the Old House will, latterly, be able to observe Aisleyne and Jonathan/Michael. The cameras will be two-way.

Aisleyne's strong enough for that, though. Thank fuck it isn't Suzie in there. One kiiind of feels it's designed for Dickie, though.

21:58 / 30.06.06

Well I've just come back from the cinema and Richard's clearly going to be very happy indeed! How excellent.

22:10 / 30.06.06

I'm loving Little Bear. A lot. His spiritual beliefs may irritate me to fuck (and his waxed, tribal-tattooed torso is less hirsute than I'd like) but I like the way he looks. He's bonding with Aisleyne and I sooo want him in the House. For Richard (even though I think he'll fixate much more on Jonathan) and for me.

22:24 / 30.06.06

Sweet thang.

22:45 / 30.06.06

I wonder if Mike, given Richard's views on giving, not taking, is going to exactly sit still for the performance for the cameras.

Early days, for sure, but they seem like a potentially plausible couple, and if I was Mike, I wouldn't trust Richard as far as I could throw him. First man-on-man sex on BB ... well fair enough, fab tab headline but Mike seems like a gentler creature, who's heart may end up being flushed away as if it was nothing.

22:51 / 30.06.06

I really can't see Michael and Richard as a couple. I've no idea of Michael's type, but I suspect he's not Richard's type. It's all up in the air, obviously, but beyond the OMG THEIR BOTH GAY THEY MUSSSST SHAG!!!1! element, I'm not sure they'll have much in common. I think Michael will have more in common with Aisleyne and Dickie, if he fastens on anyone, will fasten upon Jonathan, the straight-but-a-bit-wavery arse-proud muscleman.

22:52 / 30.06.06

Bumsex on BB/ oh yes please.

22:55 / 30.06.06

I don't think the bumsex is gonna happen. We're within conceptual spitting distance of it, though, which is a bit of a BB first. I don't think I've ever thought, previously, that two gayers on BB might even vaaaguely shag.

23:00 / 30.06.06

who's heart may end up being flushed away as if it was nothing.

Welcome to gaytown

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

23:00 / 30.06.06

Not watching this at the mo, but according to DS Aisleyne's getting on swimmingly with Michael, which surely means he's got no chance of ever actually meeting Richard, as she probably won't be putting him up for eviction? I know it's early days and that, but... is that really how it works?

23:05 / 30.06.06

No idea, Stoatie. Evicting the Housemate who gets on best with Aisleyne seems like a remarkably twisted way to do things - and, crucially, I think it'd likely go against the collective opinion of the GBP. I suspect it's not going to automatically play out that way.

23:12 / 30.06.06

I have a theory!

Four of the five new housemates are voted out (and therefore IN) by Aisleyne. Then, on Friday, the housemate nominated most by the Original Housemates goes up for the public vote against the remainaing new housemate. So Suzie goes up against Michael for the public vote.

Or maybe Richard versus Michael. Tragedy!

23:20 / 30.06.06

Mmm, very possibly. Michael vs. Suzie or Nikki or (tragedy!) Richard.

23:24 / 30.06.06

Oh, not against Nikki! Nikki is my absolute favourite!

14:09 / 01.07.06

"I'm a nightclub bouncer but I'm not gay"

Is this actually a non-sequitur, or are there more gay nightclub bouncers than I previously thought?

15:08 / 01.07.06

Yeah, I wasn't aware bouncers were up there with air stewards and hairdressers in the stereotypical gay profession stakes.

15:31 / 01.07.06

On Saint Pete:

I'd be more sympathetic to N, A & L if they weren't using him as an excuse for engaging in politicking with each other. They're not exactly being straight with one another either (L denying to the A & the general public that she fancies him and then telling him quietly the reverse, Nik and Lea complaining that he's getting too close to Ashleine, Ashleine accusing both Lea and Nikki of using him to stay in...)

I don't think they're using Pete simply to get at each other. I think Pete readily becomes an emotional/political focus because he's so vague and blurry in terms of his relationships with others. Almost nothing is explicit, and no-one knows quite where they stand with him, which adds an extra layer of uncertainty to the usual OMGisitag*m*pl*n insecurities necessarily dogging any relationship formed within the House.

None of them seems prepared to give the others the benefit of the doubt that they might want to engage in an honest relationship with Pete. At the same time, they're careful to cover their own tracks by denying they fancy him to each other.

This is emotional self-preservation. Lisa stuck her neck out, told people she fancied Pete, seemed to be getting reciprocal signals from him, then looked a bit silly/tragic when Pete pulled out (literally - by jumping out of her bed and into Lea's) and had little option but to retreat to just-mates-no-I-don't-reeeally-fancy-him ground. Given Pete's tendency toward mixed messages, is it reasonable to expect those around him to be consistently explicit in their declared attraction? Going out on a limb for Pete seems, generally speaking, to be somewhat unrewarding.

16:54 / 01.07.06

I've no idea of Michael's type, but I suspect he's not Richard's type.

I'd tend to agree, but it's not just the hott sex factor that's at stake here - Richard's made no secret of his desire to *coff* milk this show for all it's worth, and even if he isn't particularly smitten with Michael, I can't see the potential fringe benefits of a drunken one-nighter (huge media interest, cash for interviews, cult status on the club scene for at least the next five years,) being lost on him. Let's face it, he could always do Michael and then get back to lusting after Jonathan's manly charms, if he was so minded. I think if anything, it's going to be Michael's spiritual beliefs that are the stumbling block here - he may well have to 'really feel something' before he gets intimate, which could lead to the fairly amusing spectacle of Richard attempting to corrupt him - 'come on Michael, think of the money, if I'm right (which I could easily not be,) about the depths of Richard's cynicism.

17:25 / 01.07.06

Nah. For all his claims, I don't think Dickie's the Bin Laden of sex - at least, not to the extent that he'd fuck on TV for the sake of fucking on TV. In any case, Michael's made it clear that there ain't going to be a "gay relationship" in the House, if he can help it.

19:11 / 01.07.06

Poor Pete, being forced into bed with Nikki against his will. Good job he's got Lea as a completely objective sounding board for his forced-to-snog woes.

19:50 / 01.07.06

Pete on the verge of falling into a pool, yesterday.

20:41 / 01.07.06

Baby GayBear has taken his shirt off and has no hair

I worry that hirsuteness clouds your judgement on particular Housemates, Ganesh. Remember your early support for Sezer?
Man chest hair; so much to answer for.

I like what we've seen of Michael, but agree that he's looking most likely not to make it into the House proper (although I'm hoping that Aisleyne might become suspicious of the lengths BB has gone to to introduce just one new HM, and suss the twist). I liked his weary appraisal of Spoiral's questioning about whether he's ever done a laydee, and it looks like there's scope for panic a'plenty in the Secret House. Tires is clearly intrigued, having never met a gay man before ("obviously"), and Leeroy - I mean Jonathan! - patently has his share of Spambotesque anxiety. Meanwhile, Baby Bear's sexuality sounds as if it might just be ambivalent enough for some heterosexperimentation. Could be interesting.

Jawsus-son Starship

21:53 / 01.07.06

Baby Bear's sexuality sounds as if it might just be ambivalent enough for some heterosexperimentation. Could be interesting.

And you've missed out that he's fucking hot. Can we reiterate that?

22:09 / 01.07.06

We can by all means. But I didn't imagine a lack of hetgirl interest being the main impediment.

Jawsus-son Starship

22:16 / 01.07.06

Maybe Baby Bear can give Pete the kinda love he's been looking for all his life?

22:23 / 01.07.06

And you've missed out that he's fucking hot. Can we reiterate that?

The guy who cuts my hair looks a bit like Michael - for those innarested, details available on request.

22:30 / 01.07.06

You're alright; I've seen your haircut.

Mysterious Transfer Student

22:46 / 01.07.06

Tires is clearly intrigued, having never met a gay man before ("obviously")

You mean, you've never met anyone who told you ze was gay, Mr. DJ...

Though straight myself, I felt Michael's pain at having to explain - no doubt for the hundredth time in his life - the hidden mysteries of The Gayness to a clueless breeder. It was obviously pissing him off, when he would much rather be having a less intrusive and more relaxed conversation with Spiral, someone's he's only just met. Michael seems a nice guy, although admittedly his dippy-spiritual element could grate; hopefully in this accelerated-BB experience he'll enjoy himself.

Strange Machine Vs The Virus with Shoes

23:46 / 01.07.06

Just wanted to share my favourite moment from BB.

A few weeks ago on BBLB:

Dermot to employee of the month: So what’s the worst thing about working on big brother?

Employee of the month: Grace!

Dermot: I thought you were supposed to be impartial, I think we should rehearse this part next time.

Jus keeping the Grace hate alive folks.

09:33 / 02.07.06

I worry that hirsuteness clouds your judgement on particular Housemates, Ganesh. Remember your early support for Sezer?
Man chest hair; so much to answer for.

I might sleep but I will always dream.

Sezer's potential mini-Hugh Jackmanness was a sterling quality in those early stages - when attractive cockiness had yet to shade into simply being a cock. I like Michael's beardiness (and wish he'd let hair flourish elsewhere), but I'm having trouble shaking a nagging feeling of familiarity, that I've seen him somewhere before. And it's not just the fact that he writes the television and restaurant columns for the Sunday Times.

09:40 / 02.07.06

Just wanted to share my favourite moment from BB.

A few weeks ago on BBLB:

Dermot to employee of the month: So what’s the worst thing about working on big brother?

Employee of the month: Grace!

Dermot: I thought you were supposed to be impartial, I think we should rehearse this part next time.

That was truly special - but we didn't see that Employee of the Month again. I feel some Digital Spy conspiracising coming on.

I think that was the same BBLB where Dermot got an update from an Endemol minion in the corridor facing the House windows, and the Housemates were standing on podiums tryng to win immunity from nomination. The minionette in question said, "some of them are faltering; I wish Grace would falter". The Grace-hate was palpable, and I remember thinking, "wow, if these people who watch Grace all the time hate her as much as I do, then it really isn't about the editing".

10:21 / 02.07.06

I liked his weary appraisal of Spoiral's questioning about whether he's ever done a laydee

Yeah, I really felt for him there: that whole assumption that sexualities other than het are 'public domain' and up for interrogation.

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