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Big Brother 2006

 
  

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Smoothly
21:55 / 24.06.06
Ah, cross-post. What he said.
 
 
akira
21:58 / 24.06.06
I'm no psychologyst so stick with me here, maybe it has something to do with his turetts, with his turetts hes brurting stuff out, and has no control over it, so in his sexual life he likes to feel in control and take his time over things? Sorry if that sounds stupid.
 
 
Ganesh
22:02 / 24.06.06
I thought it was security in his sexuality, but now it looks more like the opposite.

I was pretty much the same: I think the possibly bisexual/cross-dressing stuff made me think Pete would be pretty relaxed sexually. Now, I'm starting to think he's oblique to the point of being closed-down. Okay, he's in the Big Brother House, there's cameras everywhere, etc., etc., but even taking this into account, I'm thinking his response falls somewhat flat.

As I type, the continuity announcer asks, "hands up if you fancy Pete". I find myself thinking, "what's the point of fancying Pete? That way lies frustration".
 
 
Smoothly
22:06 / 24.06.06
It's interesting that this frustration has translated into a Cult of Pete and a tacit belief that his relationships somehow transcend the sexual. But I just not sure Pete is facing up to the sexual component, and the more he ignores it, the closer it gets.
Could still get messy.
 
 
Ganesh
22:13 / 24.06.06
I'm no psychologyst so stick with me here, maybe it has something to do with his turetts, with his turetts hes brurting stuff out, and has no control over it, so in his sexual life he likes to feel in control and take his time over things?

Maybe, maybe not. Not everything comes down to his neurological disorder, but it might be a factor. I suppose I'm finding his being in control and taking time over things rather meh - and I'm wondering whether any of his prospective amours outside the House have the patience to wait the six months or whatever for him to decide he wants to reciprocate. I'm feeling rather sorry for the various women - particularly Lea - who take a leap of faith, put their cards on the table and tell Pete that yes, they fancy him. His stock response seems to be to go "gawwsh", titter self-deprecatingly then do not very much else either way.

It kind of reminds me of days of yore when I was closeted, and would occasionally attract women (very possibly because I was in the closet and simply came across as an Unthreatening Male) who would eventually make a move (because I wouldn't), leaving us both slightly embarrassed and tending, ultimately, to corrode the friendship because I couldn't be emotionally/sexually honest. In my case, this is because I was a gay man trying not to be a gay man. Pete's not gay, and I don't really know why he's behaving in a comparable way.
 
 
Ganesh
22:21 / 24.06.06
It's interesting that this frustration has translated into a Cult of Pete and a tacit belief that his relationships somehow transcends the sexual.

It fits with the Saint Pete of Assisi thing: "spiritual", kind to animals, widely loved and non-sexual (in a transcending-the-flesh kind of way). I agree with you that, personally, the sexual/emotional celibacy seems more avoidant than ascetic (possibly because I've been avoidant in similar situations, for dissimilar reasons). I suspect the Tourette's might provide a handy peg on which to hang any negativity (I don't think Pete does this, but I think others might speculate), so that frustrations don't fester, and are rarely if ever focussed on Pete as an individual. He's not held responsible for his lack of response.
 
 
Smoothly
22:26 / 24.06.06
And if at any point he does take some kind of a human form and express some kind of carnal desire (which could happen still, especially with new Housemates coming in) , his disciples are going to be pissed.
I don't feel that sorry for Lea because I think she's part of the problem. Pete's inarticulate enough without expecting him to finish your sentences for you. "You know what, Pete, ...don't you? You know that I...., yeah? Eh? You know, there's... I think you... you know' etc. All that nudge-nudge wink-wink stuff. That's Kryptonite to poor Pete.
 
 
Ganesh
22:41 / 24.06.06
I don't feel that sorry for Lea because I think she's part of the problem.

That's true. Having watched last night's and tonight's highlights shows in succession, one sees Lea in the Diary Room doing the "God, I can't belieeeve anyone thinks I fancy Pete" thing shortly before telling Pete she fancies him - so yes, her own ambivalence isn't helpful. She's also established a child/adult relationship with Pete which allows him to retreat into (ostensibly) asexual hair-stroking, bosom-snuggling and means her declaration of sexual interest comes too late, and, after loads of "he reminds me of my sons" jawing, comes across as faintly incestuous.

I think Lea's also helped ensure that any other nascent relationship between Pete and a female Housemate is effectively stillborn. Typically:

Lea: "X really fancies you, Pete"

Pete (mugging): "Noo! Gawsh!"

Lea: "It's dead obvious to everyone."

Pete (giggling): "Phew! Miaow!"

Lea (biiig sigh, loss of eye contact): "You should go for it. Really."

So... yeah. I feel a bit sorry for her at the moment, but my sympathies are limited. Pete doesn't need this sort of 'assistance'. I suspect fancying Pete would be like trying to get off with a glacier.
 
 
Ganesh
22:42 / 24.06.06
Lea: "It ain't paranoia because I don't really suffer from that at all."
 
 
Alex's Grandma
23:02 / 24.06.06
Oh Glyn, what have you done?
 
 
Ganesh
23:06 / 24.06.06
Could be worse: he could've streaked.
 
 
Ganesh
23:15 / 24.06.06
It's quite nice how they're all taking care of Glyn, Mikey walking him around the garden and the others worrying about whether he's drunk enough water. All a bit of a contrast to last year's drunken CraignAntnee horrorshow.
 
 
Smoothly
23:17 / 24.06.06
Or Pete and Lea a couple of weeks ago.
 
 
Ganesh
23:23 / 24.06.06
True - but at least with Lea and Pete, Pete's been compliant with enough tit-smothering when sober to make it not too unreasonable for Lea to suppose any physical intimacy between them when pissed is consensual. With CraignAntnee, Antnee had made it clear that there were boundaries, which Craig didn't hesitate to trample when Antnee was paralytic.
 
 
Ganesh
23:25 / 24.06.06
(Assuming we're talking about a Pete-pissed, Lea-sober situation - which may not be the case.)
 
 
Smoothly
23:26 / 24.06.06
True. Although at least Craig didn't whisper sweet nothings in Antnee's ear about how he was like a family member, while kissing his neck. Different people, different set of fucked up boundaries.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
23:29 / 24.06.06
His stock response seems to be to go "gawwsh", titter self-deprecatingly then do not very much else either way.

Well there are two other things he can do, the first is to schnuggle on live television, which presumably would be an option if he was attracted to any of these people. The second would be to tell them outright that he didn't want to go there and continue to live with them in a house with absolutely no private space for the rest of the stint. That he doesn't actively dislike these women, in fact is more friendly with the people who've got a bit of a thing for him can't be making it easy. That none of them could actually get away from each other would make it utterly horrific.

What do you actually want his response to be? What would be better in the actual circumstance that Pete has to exist in?
 
 
Ganesh
23:30 / 24.06.06
Yeah. Lea's horrorshow is more Freud-flavoured.
 
 
Smoothly
23:33 / 24.06.06
He could tell Lea that he finds her constant mithering and pestering for reassurance oppressive, that he does not feel a sexual attraction to her and that he doesn't owe her constant companionship. Or just tell her something about feelings he appears to be reasonably able to express in the Diary Room.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
23:34 / 24.06.06
Screw all this PeteLeaGlyn shit, Mikey and Imogen are schnuggling in the bed. In the bed. Bad humatons.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
23:35 / 24.06.06
Yeah, I'm sure living in the Big Brother house would be delightful for him then. I'd much rather have someone schnooking my neck than glowering spitefully at me.
 
 
Smoothly
23:35 / 24.06.06
Has he pulled the yawn-hug on her again yet?
 
 
Smoothly
23:41 / 24.06.06
I don't think she'd feel in any position to glower at him if he'd nipped it in the bud. He's been ducking Lea's increasingly obvious overtures for weeks now. All his platitudes about how 'once your my friend, you never have to worry again' just serve to heighten expectations. It's not smart and it's not really fair. Classic problem of over-promising and under-delivering.
 
 
Ganesh
23:41 / 24.06.06
Well there are two other things he can do, the first is to schnuggle on live television, which presumably would be an option if he was attracted to any of these people.

Are we to assume, then, that he isn't attracted to any of them? Genuine question. Has Pete been attracted to anyone in the House? How would we know?

The second would be to tell them outright that he didn't want to go there and continue to live with them in a house with absolutely no private space for the rest of the stint. That he doesn't actively dislike these women, in fact is more friendly with the people who've got a bit of a thing for him can't be making it easy. That none of them could actually get away from each other would make it utterly horrific.

What do you actually want his response to be? What would be better in the actual circumstance that Pete has to exist in?


Personally? I'd like to see him do something - anything - other than just let the situation slide, as he has done pretty much every time. I'd like to see some acknowledgement, I suppose, rather than simple avoidance.

Of course, what I personally would like to see is not necessarily "better in the actual circumstance that Pete has to exist in", but I remain unconvinced that Pete would behave differently without the cameras there. I've not seen much to suggest that this isn't how he'd handle relationships in the Outside World and, having used don't-talk-about-it avoidance while closeted, I'm aware that, in the long term, it's not especially fair on other people. For me, Pete's sliding away not just from confrontation but from acknowledgement (of the fact that, in being straightforward with him, these women have taken an emotional risk) is a negative. This sort of avoidance is self-protective up to a point, but can leave other people feeling uncertain, confused and eventually frustrated/bitter. Some sort of attempt at one-to-one resolution either way (and, as I say, I find it very hard to tell if he's attracted to Nikki, Aisleyne, Lea, etc. or not) would, IMHO, be kinder.
 
 
Ganesh
23:50 / 24.06.06
I'd much rather have someone schnooking my neck than glowering spitefully at me.

Depends how much one dislikes each one. If I really didn't like the former but hadn't communicated this to the schnooker, then I'd hold myself largely responsible for the ongoing schnooking.
 
 
Smoothly
00:17 / 25.06.06
I'd much rather have someone schnooking my neck than glowering spitefully at me.

Would you really? Honestly?
I'd take the glowering any day of the week.
 
 
Ganesh
00:23 / 25.06.06
I think I'd rather take the glowering knowing I'd addressed the issue, gently and straightforwardly, and we all knew where we stood. I'd have problems with my physical space being regularly invaded, particularly if I felt myself complicit (I'd hate to think I were opening myself to accusations of 'leading them on').
 
 
Tryphena Absent
00:32 / 25.06.06
He's told Lea that he wants to be friends with her, that seems like a kind rejection to me, if she's still schnooking him than that's her failure to listen. I sure as hell wouldn't be schnooking anyone's neck after they said that to me and Lea's at least 20 years older than me so I'd assume that she would understand what that means in global translation. Apparently she needs a Tardis to translate for her.

I remain unconvinced that Pete would behave differently without the cameras there.

Well his avoidance tactics would be viable outside the house, there's more space there.
 
 
Ganesh
00:42 / 25.06.06
Perhaps Lea needs to be told, "I'm a bit uncomfortable with the kissing/snuggling/whatever" - assuming Pete is uncomfortable with it. I'm genuinely unsure, as he's made no explicit complaint or attempt to address it so far. Lea might very reasonably suppose that Pete doesn't mind being pawed by his friends. It's very possibly too late for him to establish any firm boundary here, or maybe he's insufficiently motivated to try.

Well his avoidance tactics would be viable outside the house, there's more space there.

Viable, sure. Just not particularly kind, and not infrequently corrosive, ultimately, of one's relationships.
 
 
Ganesh
01:29 / 25.06.06
Did anyone see VomitGate in full? Over on Digital Spy, there's the usual strenuous debate about whose behaviour has been the most/least exemplary here. From the sounds of it, Mikey did a lot of looking after Glyn before he went to bed (I saw him walking Glyn around the garden, giving him water and Richard commenting to Lea, "Mikey's a real star") but, after he puked, it was mainly Dickie who got in there and cleaned up - although Lea helped, Aisleyne offered to bleach whatever he'd vomited into (his clothes drawer, I think) and Imogen was apparently seen mopping up at one point.

It sounds as if there hasn't yet been a decent opportunity to make this Richard's fault.
 
 
Ganesh
01:38 / 25.06.06
(The New Axis of Evil outside Boujis Nightclub, a couple of days ago.)
 
 
Smoothly
01:43 / 25.06.06
He's been out 3 weeks and he still hasn't bought any new clothes.
 
 
Mike Modular
02:16 / 25.06.06
That was... quite a horrible sight.

Has Pete been attracted to anyone in the House?
Well, he's denied it in the diary room and I'm inclined to believe him. But, you know, there's always the possibility that maybe he's just a bit nervous around women he finds attractive and it might be hard for him to relax or be open with them, which isn't exactly uncommon. And I'm taking this as a completely separate issue to tourettes/confined environment/being on the telly. Although I'm sure none of that helps...
 
 
Ganesh
02:41 / 25.06.06
If he's not attracted to any of them, then I suppose it's possible that he behaves differently when he does fancy someone. He made a comment, fairly early on, about how it takes him "at least six months" to make any sort of definitive move, relationship-wise, even when he's attracted to someone. He's also talked about how he fancies all his platonic friends (although I suspect it's probably truer to speculate that they fancy him).

From what little he says, I'd imagine that, while he's generally reticent (for whatever reason) to get involved in any sort of intimate relationship on a boyfriend/girlfriend basis, Pete probably has various friends who are almost-girlfriends (or almost-boyfriends) with whom things never quite get to the sexual stage. Maybe he's made the don't-acknowledge-it gambit work for him.
 
 
Smoothly
03:17 / 25.06.06
I'm sure I read something in one of the tabloids (The Star, I think) about a girl who 'claims to be Pete's girlfriend' expressing her dismay at Pete's antics on Spin The Bottle night. It was littered with various little qualifications and weasel words about the exact nature of the relationship between them.

I got the impression that a relationship with Pete is negotiated very much on a reading-between-the-lines basis. I imagine lots of Pete's relationships are propped up through unspoken agreements, and tacit understandings.
I expect Pete is quite good at not putting his friends in traditionally categories, and it's probably very refreshing. But I can see it being frustrating for anyone who does want to carve out something more explicit.
 
  

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