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Big Brother 2006

 
  

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STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
23:20 / 21.06.06
Dear God, Lisa, Imogen, Mikey and Glyn are all lying in the garden looking at the sky, and it's actually quite nice.

Just keep repeating... THREE OF THEM ARE GITS. THREE OF THEM ARE GITS.
 
 
Ganesh
23:21 / 21.06.06
Today's fantasy involved them buried up to their necks in the ground, whilst I polish my croquet mallet in the mid-day sun.

You're fantasising Heathers. Which, let's face it, is probably better than fantasising any other Winona Ryder fillum.
 
 
Mike Modular
00:09 / 22.06.06
Except, perhaps, Alien: Resurrection...

Deey Thorty Fowar: Imogen, Mikeey and Leesa have been impregneeted by facehuggas. Ashleeen has decided to teeak off and nuke 'em from orbit, as it's the only way t' be shuwa...
 
 
Whisky Priestess
11:45 / 22.06.06
Why oh why can't they make that the next task?
 
 
Triplets
11:55 / 22.06.06
Think of the bees!
 
 
Shrug
11:57 / 22.06.06
I'm not sure I even want to imagine what Nikki's reaction to a face-hugger would be. Although I'm guessing her hygiene-related tantrum might be enough to even frighten off the Brood Mother. Pete, of course, after attempting to cradle the alien as a fellow creature worthy of life and respect would promptly be eviscerated. Mikey, the plank, perhaps, wouldn't notice. And Glynn would complain about meeting more London types with their acidic blood and prehensile tails talking about fancy places he's never been like The Nostromo and the sub-space colony Acheron.
...or not.
 
 
Evil Scientist
12:05 / 22.06.06
Mikey, the plank, perhaps, wouldn't notice.

Or his hidden android programming would take over and Richard would be forced to smash his head off with a makeshift flamethrower.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:38 / 22.06.06
My vote for Aisleyne to operate the exoskeleton.
 
 
Triplets
13:47 / 22.06.06
Ais: Get away from Pete, you bitch!
Lisalien: What ya fookin talkin bout like?! *hiss!*

Rich did say she was an acidic little troll.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
19:14 / 22.06.06
Digital Spy is driving me insane.

I've had people thinking I was female because I slated Sezer's misogyny.

I've been asked "why you people always want special treatment" when I slated Lisa's use of the word "faggot". (My reply- "I'm a white heterosexual male... to be honest, I think I get treated okay, really" got some quite amusing responses)

I've had the "political correctness gone MAD!!!" thing. Someone today didn't get why, even though I dislike Lisa, I didn't think referring to her as "Mr Miyagi" was on.

Aah, Barbelith, I love you. And I can swear here. And for fuck's sake, if ever you need to swear, it's when watching Big Brother.
 
 
Jawsus-son Starship
19:25 / 22.06.06
Sometimes I think Richard just needs to keep it quite. When Lisa talks to him, shes just looking for more evidence of his "two-facedness". Don't talk to her. Do some swishy hand thing, like you're on ricky lake.

But do say tranny fuckers at mikey - he'll cry, run to the diary room, and complain about his religious upbringing.
 
 
h1ppychick
19:26 / 22.06.06
Richard's getting no favours from the edit tonight.

That DR comment was the first glimmer of humour I've seen from Mikey.
 
 
Jawsus-son Starship
19:43 / 22.06.06
I used to get so jealous of the girls at the parade?

See, I didn't know that Nikki was from the 1950s, what with the majorettes wandering down main street while she ate a nickle peach cone and waved at doris day...

...can we all agree that shes not cool, now shes moved against beautiful emma.
 
 
Ganesh
19:47 / 22.06.06
Yeah, Richard reeeally needs to recognise when it's not good to talk.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
19:49 / 22.06.06
Lea REALLY doesn't seem to understand that Pete's life is not built around fucking.
 
 
Ganesh
19:50 / 22.06.06
...can we all agree that shes not cool, now shes moved against beautiful emma.

I'm not sure anyone ever argued that Nikki's "cool"; merely that she's consistently hilarious.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
19:58 / 22.06.06
Aisleyne attempting the impossible: to explain to a troubled and bemused Nikki that it's not all about her. Nikki is a monstre sacré and great entertainment even when she's not saying anything.
 
 
Jawsus-son Starship
20:04 / 22.06.06
How about constantly hilarious, in the same way that being held in a Viet Cong labour camp for thirty four years would be constantly hilarious. If by constantly hilarious you meant a grueling and often mind destroying.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
20:15 / 22.06.06
Aisleyne DR: "I'm in a house full of nutters... I'm probably a nutter too."

No, you are increasingly the only sane person in the house. Richard is cracking, perhaps, and who can blame him; Pete is letting a crazy monster woman emotionally blackmail him for a second time, maybe a third; Suzie is a cypher.

Has anyone said it yet? I'll say it:

AISLEYNE TO WIN.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
20:26 / 22.06.06
Aisleyne rules. As I've said, I have fur issues with Aisleyne. Were I to ignore them, she'd rule. Well, she does anyway. But would be better without the fur issues.
 
 
Ganesh
20:38 / 22.06.06
How about constantly hilarious, in the same way that being held in a Viet Cong labour camp for thirty four years would be constantly hilarious. If by constantly hilarious you meant a grueling and often mind destroying.

Presumably you'd planned a noun for that end-of-the-sentence position there.

No, I'm finding her hilarious in the conventional 'making me laugh' sense. Not having been held prisoner by the Viet Cong for 34 years, I find myself unable to rise to your comparison.
 
 
Jawsus-son Starship
20:58 / 22.06.06
I find myself unable to rise to your comparison.

And HYPER-BOLE (you have to say it like that, not the normal way) blows up in the face of teh Tru7hT4lK3r!!!11!123 yet again. Damn you ganesh, damn you and your holy trunk.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
21:00 / 22.06.06
I'd rather be Christopher Walken, psychologically tortured by the Viet Cong, however, than poor Pete, psychologically tortured by Lea. Enjoyed watching him take such pleasure in twirling in his little red frock.

And thought it was interesting that he said Mikhey was the one other housemate really enjoying the task, despite what M said in the diary room about his discomfort in showing so much leg.
 
 
Evil Scientist
21:36 / 22.06.06
I'd rather be Christopher Walken, psychologically tortured by the Viet Cong, however, than poor Pete, psychologically tortured by Lea.

I'm finding her so damnably creepy, and currently am praying to the Great Ape that he snaps at her in the next few days.

No Lea, he hasn't changed. Have you ever considered that he may just like Aisleyne?

It's a problem a lot of the housemates seem to have. Any sign of friendship to someone is "arse-sucking" if they're unpopular (the Nikki/Grace confusion over people still talking to Susy post-Golden Nomination is a good example).

The White Queen is definitely my favourite in the house. She's assertive when necessary, stands up to bullying, she's under no impression that BB is a "life experience", she's not perfect (she'll bitch but nowhere near as much as others). I think her trying to openly explain to Nikki why someone might want to have a private (ie non-Nikki) conversation was a rare moment in the BB house.

Aisleyne victorious.

Just as long as she stops using the word "shizzle".
 
 
Alex's Grandma
21:39 / 22.06.06
Increasingly appalled by Glyn's com-edy flat-u-lence - 'I farted in your face! I far-ted! You will laugh! You will en-joy the smells!'

In what backwater hellhole is the issue of Glen's watery, hellish, back-hole considered in some sense acceptable or charming? He 'run nak-ed a-round the pub,' he 'hold the pe-nis by the tip.'

Especially laughable was Glyn's suggestion, this evening, that he finds it diff-icult to find the words in English when he's angry, his discussion in Welsh with Immodium about this later giving us viewers a clear idea of the Celtic lyricism we could look forward to if this was on S4C.

Here's hoping Richard, who I've warmed to a lot lately - like Ms A, he seems like a decent individual faced with increasingly lunatic circumstances, gives Glyn what-for when the sulky head boy of sch-ool steps out of line, next time.
 
 
Haus of Mystery
00:13 / 23.06.06
It's like junior school in there really. With boob-jobs. If you talk to a girl it means you do want to put your winkie in her. It's just bollocks.
As i sit here now, on the live feed, bloody Lea is still carping on about Pete's supposed rejection of her. Could it be that he's enjoying Aisleyne's company because she's not trying to molest him with her eyes every five cocking minutes. Every time I turn around someone blonde has Pete pinned in his bed, for another 'private', 'meaningful' chat. It's quite creepy.

Moving on - Lisa, I need to explain something to you. Now listen closely, and don't throw anything at me.
The excuse that 'that's just the way I am, I'm not gonna change' does not mean that you never have to explain or apologise your cunty behaviour to others. It's the last beleagured defence of a bear with very little brain.
I guarantee her eviction interview will be a tirade of that very tired get-out. With added 'fooks'.
 
 
Smoothly
00:26 / 23.06.06
Poor Imogen; concerned about what's been written about her in the press. If only she knew she need not worry.

I quite like Richard for the fact that he sometimes keeps talking when it would probably be more prudent to shut up. Lisa was obviously baiting him for evidence that he hates her and/or is two-faced, and he gave her neither. For all the veneration afforded to 'straight-talking' by generations of BB Housemates, they don't actually like it very much.

I like this in Aisleyne equally. I thought the conversation between her and Nikki in the bathroom illustrated nicely a lot of what I like about both of them. Nikki is also very direct in a much more preconcious way, I think. She is just transparent in her emotions, and expresses them the same way Pete expresses his internal states - in a series of involuntary outbursts (of varying degrees of explosiveness). And Aisleyne, like Richard, is very good at dealing with them. She listens, thinks about what Nikki is trying to say, and answers her in a way that steers away from confrontation. Nikki listens, waits for her 'brrain to Ab-sorB it', and is sooothed. It's rather lovely.

Nikki's fear that Aisleyne might 'box her up', meanwhile, made me want to box her up and take her home.
 
 
Smoothly
00:43 / 23.06.06
Can I ask, how old do we think Bet Leanch really is?
At the moment she is engaging in a Conversation with Dim about what Susie "thinks she's doing, coming in the Big Brother House at 'er age".
Susie is 43.
 
 
Haus of Mystery
00:49 / 23.06.06
Thought that conversation was particularly vile. 'She's 43 - she can't be famous. What's she doing in here?' I've come to expect this from the youth-fascist Dimogen, but Lea was being such a wanker. She's just a bit crap really.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
00:55 / 23.06.06
Steve;

Can you judge Lea/Bet though? Imagine how you'd look after ten (twenty?) years in the adult entertainment industry - Look in the mirror, and think about that.

You can't, can you?

Bloody Southerner
 
 
Smoothly
01:00 / 23.06.06
But I already do look like a rough trade rent boy who's seen better days. I've got plenty of sympathy for her.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
10:04 / 23.06.06
Chicken that's been left out in the sun ...
 
 
dance margarita
10:18 / 23.06.06
i am very glad that i got to feast on lovely uncut footage last night before i go on my holiday to a place where there is no *terrestrial* telly, let alone digital. that said it is a very strange feeling to find yourself watching people whispering at each other in bed and be thinking to yourself 'but why are you in bed? theres a beautiful sunrise happening out there that you could be watching!' strange and shame- inducing, and not in a nice way.

tip- top quality nikki moment: 'incest is best'. i liked it so much, i watched it on +1! i did not think that her face could possibly get any bendier than it is normally but it was precious to be disabused of such a foolish notion.

pete needs to have a word with himself about his hugging style and general friendly but potentially confusing levels of tactility; wandering hands will do him no favours when it comes to dissolving unrequited fancies.The Hug Of Doom is a prime example; four minutes of watching his fingertips lazily skirting the small of lea's back up to the prodigious curves of her mondo bongos and i was forced to switch to itv, where the sight of brian dowling unclumping his mascara with a pinky fingertip and mugging to an empty studio came as sweet relief from the volcanicity of it all. yes, pete, it is still absolutely possible to have nice friendly hugs with ladies who want to jump your bones- and yes, sometimes those hugs will get protracted. but *keep your hands still and avoid erogenous zones* or you are simply making a rod for your own back. see also: touching nikki's inner thighs. not helping yourself, sweetheart. not helping at all.
 
 
dance margarita
10:37 / 23.06.06
also; i am sure i heard leah say she is nine years younger than susie. 34. 34! does she take us for mooncalves? she seems to be losing a year per week. by my admittedly shoddy reckoning in the unlikely event that lea makes it through to the final week, she will be surely be having us believe that she is sweet 17 and never been kissed, ideally positioning herself on her exit for a starring role in 'casting cuties 4; barely legal'.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
11:08 / 23.06.06
Hahahahahahaha!

Pete's scared of spiders!
 
  

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