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Celebrity Big Brother 2006

 
  

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STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
20:46 / 07.01.06
Balls. I thought they might do that.
 
 
Cherielabombe
21:05 / 07.01.06
Better than making her the guitarist, I suppose.
 
 
Ganesh
21:52 / 07.01.06
Traci loudly discussing Barrymore's sexuality in the kitchen while he eavesdrops from behind the bedroom door:

"So what, he's gay - does that mean he's killed somebody?"

OMFG!!1! etc.
 
 
Cherielabombe
22:34 / 07.01.06
Harvard alum, that Traci.
 
 
Ganesh
23:44 / 07.01.06


Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
 
 
Ganesh
23:51 / 07.01.06
And, in case it's not clear that yes, Barrymore is demonstrating Why I'm Famous playing a comedy Adolf Hitler:



The comeback trail starts here.
 
 
Shrug
00:00 / 08.01.06
Oh fuck, I very nearly choked at that.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
00:01 / 08.01.06
He was impressive in Downfall, admittedly.
 
 
P. Horus Rhacoid
00:09 / 08.01.06
I'm not even watching the show and this is still the best thread ever.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
00:36 / 08.01.06
Fun With Phobias- I never used to watch this shit either. Then I started reading the threads... then I figured I should watch the programme in order to get the jokes... then...

...that said... I haven't seen much today. WHAT THE FUCK???
 
 
Ganesh
01:14 / 08.01.06
Now upstairs in bed sans TV (except Xoc on those special weekends) but DigitalSpy is abuzz with talk of a late-night conversation between 'Mr Hitler' Barrymore and Jodie. Apparently Jodie's coming out with the now-familiar Nobody Likes Me Everybody Hates Me Just 'Cause I've Got A Nose Like Worzel Gummidge's monologue - and is upset because Barrymore, like everyone else to whom she's complained about the paparazzi, has advised her to leave the country. She cannot leave the country because she doesn't want to leave her parents - but if she can't make it in the business (unclear as to what "the business" is), she'll fuck off abroad and buy a bar.

Barrymore is, t'would appear, using all his Priory counselling skills to reflect back the way her I (Don't) Want Media Attention schtick sounds to others. He's pointing out that, as someone who's apparently hypersensitive to comments about physical appearance, she's rather unkind when talking about fellow glamma models.

"Should I lie? Should I tell them they're beautiful?"

Classic.

Just when we thought she'd depleted her body water, she's crying again. Not doing yourself any favours, Jodie dear...
 
 
P. Horus Rhacoid
01:46 / 08.01.06
Stoatie- I live in the states so (probably fortunately, because it would eat tons of time) I can't watch the actual show. I actually enjoy reading everything out of context though and letting the ol' imagination go to work. The, er, clever Hitler impression above, for instance. I mean, what? Also, why? Also also, where did he get a set of teeth like that? Did he bring them into the house himself, to cover the possibility that he might have to do something like this? Did whoever stocks the BB house deliberately put them there, hoping hijinks and perhaps shenanigans would ensue? Is the man cleverly improvising using mundane household objects (the pot on his head supports the MacGyver theory)? Are they (shudder) his actual teeth? These and others are the questions which will be keeping me up late at night, but I think it's funnier not knowing. That's what I'm telling myself anyway.
 
 
Char Aina
04:52 / 08.01.06
kudos to him for managing to demonstrate with astonishing self awareness exactly why he's famous though; for being an unfunny and confrontational berk.

never liked the man's work, to be honest.

ah, so much to say, none of it very important...

george has a history of shockingly shite attendance as an MP. i dont know why anyone is surprised by that anymore. this is a very public truancy in comparison to some other occasions, but he's never been one for all that mad voting shit that goes along with being a mover and a shaker on the UK political scene.
george, despite chinning cunty coleman for our vieweing pleasure(and, it seems little else- he neglected to submit the statement in writing, i hear. had he done it would have been part of the senatorial record...), really hasnt got much going for him.
his politics, while often close in spirit to my own, always have an icky veneer of god ole gorgeous about them. that and, on the rare occasions that he visited it, he often used to stand on the busiest shopping street in his old constituency and bark at passers by.
i cant recall a single person ever stopping.


jodie seems to be near to total emotional collapse, which, frankly, i would probably enjoy. i know, i know. its wrong.

dennis seemed pretty desperate to get chantalle to say something, anything, to him that sounded like a come on for the longest time the other night and i am surprised that the edit skewed that as it did. he was acting like that mate many of us have whojust wont let no be no. he would keep asking until he got the answer he wanted. being dogged rather than charming.
that said, he is a pretty hot dude in a house with not many of those about. his approach may be reminiscent of a creepy sleaze, but i would have thought his appearance would have sidestepped that before we got to see the sad latter stages of the technique.


pete seemed initially like a great dude to have in the house, and i was right into his chat. shame he values style over life, eh? i will never stop loving his one and only song, but i would be unlikely to buy him a pint.
his loss, i reckon.

the rest of them?
well, they kinda end up just being the rest of them. maggot is disapointing, rula is boring, tracy isnt awake enough at night for her to appear on my radar, thingmy isnt very interesting, whatsisface is a bit kinda... y'know?
that word. you know, starts with a letter.

frickin yawn, etc.


i am loving the idea for the 'show us it' task, and i am gutted that i missed what will likely be some of the best train wreck telly we will ever be lucky enough to see.
so.
who taped it?
 
 
Ganesh
14:41 / 08.01.06
Ahh, I've missed the shopping list bitchery! In this one, Pete Burns comes across as not-at-all-nice-but-funny, and Galloway turns on Teh Marsh. Subject: gorilla fur coats and meat-eating:

Jodie: "When I go to the butcher's I see dead bodies everywhere, I see it as murder. But I'm not going to preach to you about eating meat."

"Are you calling us murderers?" asked a visibly incensed George, who found himself suddenly roused by this issue.

Pete: "I hope when I'm dead someone stuffs me and puts me in a living room. I'd like to be embalmed and put on display."

"And get your head mounted on a wall?" deadpanned Maggot from the sidelines.

But George had more challenges for Jodie.

"Should eskimos wear fur? They live in the frozen north and there's nothing they can wear except animal skin. They're not murderers," he expostulated.

"But they live primitively .," countered Jodie.

"I'm not sure you're the best person to lecture eskimos on living primitively," said George clutching his cigar. "Having heard from your own mouth how you live, I'm not sure an eskimo can be described by you as primitive."

Easy George.

As the discussion raged Dennis stood back, smirking lugubriously. Meanwhile, Michael and Maggot glanced from one opponent to the other as if watching a tennis match. But with bigger balls.

It was up to Rula to get the group back on track. "Excuse me. But bananas are 15p each."

"Get em," said Pete. "I need bananas for my coat."


Love it.
 
 
Ganesh
15:59 / 08.01.06
DigitalSpy reports that Barrymore counselling session. Cosy.
 
 
Char Aina
16:18 / 08.01.06
pete burns might wanna watch the headshop for a bit...

"'Cos a man has a makeup on and they look pretty, it doesn't mean they look like a woman. It's non-gender specific" he said, before turning to Dennis and adding: "That to me is as uneducated and as ill-informed as saying that [Dennis] looks like a monkey."
 
 
Ganesh
17:23 / 08.01.06
Mmm. Not a wildly persuasive line of reasoning that, was it?
 
 
Mourne Kransky
18:28 / 08.01.06
Davina was right. Watching Barrymore's comedy impersonation was like the Office. I had to shut my eyes and squint through my fingers to watch.

Water cooler moment. Should have had one emptied on his head.
 
 
Char Aina
18:33 / 08.01.06
i'm just not sure... does that mean that if i think pete's make up and blow job lips are a bit girly that i have to call rodman a monkey?
man, life is really hard sometimes, eh.
i just wanted to be a gender facist, not a rascist!
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
18:38 / 08.01.06
I think I'm in love with Chantelle. Not sexually, more like a puppy or a kitten that keeps bumping into stuff. Although I still reckon in real life I'd want to attack her with angry bees after a while.

Shame she'll probably be out tonight.
 
 
Ganesh
19:11 / 08.01.06
My main problem with Barrymore's orange peel Hitler is that it just wasn't terribly funny. It did at least remind me of how inexplicable I always found his 'comedy' previously; it seemed to consist entirely of manic shoutiness, kinda like John Cleese but without any sort of comedic point. Gurning, really.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
19:17 / 08.01.06
My thoughts exactly. He almost seemed to be enjoying himself, though, through that unbearable desperation that's making him very hard to watch.

Egad, I'm feeling sorry for a man I've hated since childhood. Who is a cock.
 
 
Cherielabombe
19:47 / 08.01.06
Yay!! She's in!
 
 
Ganesh
19:49 / 08.01.06
Awww @ Chantelle's "I'm a nobody" Diary Room speech...

I HEART Chantelle.
 
 
Cherielabombe
19:53 / 08.01.06
And why is Jodi crying again?
 
 
paranoidwriter waves hello
19:54 / 08.01.06
Big Brother: "Chantelle, you've changed."
Chantelle: "I've changed what?"

Excellent.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
19:56 / 08.01.06
Ooh, I do hope it doesn't go to her head.

Yay to Maggot and Preston for their self-effacing choice of the last two positions WITHOUT ANYONE TELLING THEM TO DO IT. Wouldn't have caught many of the others doing that.
 
 
Ganesh
19:58 / 08.01.06
That was weirdly touching, and I've absolutely no idea why. I mean, the whole celebrity/non-celebrity dichotomy has already been demonstrated to be 'leaky' to say the least - and there was something oddly disquieting about the idea of the Celebrities gathering to welcome the neophyte. Jooiiinnnnn ussss.

I wonder whether Chantelle will seem more or less appealling (to housemates and viewers alike) now her 'former nobody' status is known...
 
 
Cherielabombe
20:00 / 08.01.06
Yes, oddly uplifting.
 
 
Ganesh
20:01 / 08.01.06
Interesting meta-commentary on nature of celebrity, etc., etc. What with Chantelle's 'inauguration' and both Barrymore and Jodie waxing lyrical on the anguish of tabloid celebrity (further exemplified by Faria's presence in the House), that might be the theme of this year's CBB.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
20:17 / 08.01.06
Been in a horrible "can't get out of bed" depression for the last day or so... and that sorted me right out. And yes, I have no idea why.
 
 
Sniv
20:41 / 08.01.06
Ganesh: and both Barrymore and Jodie waxing lyrical on the anguish of tabloid celebrity (further exemplified by Faria's presence in the House)

But wasn't Jodie's career started/propogated by Tabloids? I remember when she broke, she was all over the Sun and the Star like a rash. I can't think of her actually doing anything, apart from getting her norks out and slagging Jordan off in a talking-head TV show. That said, I'm liking her more after seeing her here, she seems like a decent, if troubled, normal girl.

Also, Chantal to win! Seriously, I like it both as an ironic statement and because she's shown no character flaws thus far, other that repeating herself too much (nerves) and having an awful accent (an accident of geography). You go girl!
 
 
Ganesh
20:59 / 08.01.06
But wasn't Jodie's career started/propogated by Tabloids? I remember when she broke, she was all over the Sun and the Star like a rash. I can't think of her actually doing anything, apart from getting her norks out and slagging Jordan off in a talking-head TV show.

Well yes, quite. In failing to appreciate that she who lives by the tabloids dies by the tabloids, Jodie is hardly unique among British celebrities.

That said, I'm liking her more after seeing her here, she seems like a decent, if troubled, normal girl.

You reckon? I had pretty much no opinion of her before. In the last few nights, I've watched her relentlessly parade her perceived victimhood tearfully before one housemate after another - usually late at night, and usually after a couple of ml of alcohol. Now I am well acquainted with the fact that: her father was a millionaire; she was bullied at school (repeat to fade); she does a lot of work for charity (and likes to talk about it); she's "strong" but cannot cope with the fact that everybody everywhere lacerates her mercilessly with cutting words (but when she bitches about people, it's simply "honesty"); it's all about her.

Big Brother is just what she doesn't need. Barrymore's pathologically dependent on the approval of others, but Jodie makes him look like J D Salinger.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
22:08 / 08.01.06
Yes, I was impressed with Preston and Maggot. I've got a crush on little Preston. in fact, with his geeky specs and his frequently changing mod wardrobe. He has little faun-like legs too. Sweetie. I must make an attempt to listen to some of his music.

Also noticing the high percentage who are puffing away. Even big, muscly, superfit Dennis.
 
 
Smoothly
22:17 / 08.01.06
Rula and George discussing the amount of sexual innuendo in the house.

George: "It's not even innuendo. It's in your face; down your throat."
 
  

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