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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

Big Brother: Revenge of the Sixth.

  
  

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Tryphena Absent
01:12 / 31.05.05
And I think Dermot revealed that information about Craig btw. Definitely a Big Brother source anyway.

Now take a look at this ugly sight...

  
 
Ganesh
01:20 / 31.05.05
Don't insult moonpig!!! She's a feisty young lady! I hereby appoint myself protector of moonpigs everywhere.

Perhaps you're working some sort of white witchery Moonpig love spell on me, Nina, because I find my resolve weakening in the face of your pro-Moonpig reasoning. For me, though, the less effort she makes to live up to the PVC nurse stuff, the more I warm to her; there's a kind of Wife of Bath quality to her...

I actually think the tabloids will focus their ire more on other female housemates, though. Historically, it's the women seen as being "flirts" who attract the most vitriolic press (they're seen as slyly using their eeeevil feminine wiles to cocktease male housemates into voting alliances). The fact that none of the house's male contingent seem attracted to Moonpig, coupled with her crap sense of timing/diplomacy/intrigue means she's more likely to be seen as harmless than sexually untrustworthy. She seems a fairly simple organism, really.

I keep wishing I was in the house this year so I could tell them to shut the hell up when they talk about...

My favourite so far is Craig insisting on equal rights for the world's plants.

Mary seems to have forgotten her "announcement", eh?
 
 
Tryphena Absent
01:26 / 31.05.05
I have something to share with you, an announcement of my own. Miss Marple, in The Tuesday Night Club, confides in her associates a remark that seems directly aimed at Craig. "So many people seem to me not to be either bad or good, but simply, you know, very silly."
 
 
Ganesh
01:30 / 31.05.05
More Housemate Equations:



+



+



=

  
 
Alex's Grandma
01:39 / 31.05.05
She seems like a fairly simple organism, really.

I suspect that's going to be the poor dear's legacy.

The thing is, she probably wouldn't mind too much either - 'I reach organism really quick !' she'd possibly reply, if she knew about all the awful things that are going to be said about her over the interweb in the next few weeks.

I still think, though, Roberto & Mary - those guys are *hot* for each other !
 
 
Tryphena Absent
01:44 / 31.05.05
Kemal is licking Makosi's arse, which makes me think that he doesn't like her but finds her intensely disturbing. He keeps saying things like "if you left tomorrow I'd be distraught" which is so overblown and extravagant. I'm not sure what he's trying to do, that type of compliment usually makes people squirm but he keeps on giving them.
 
 
Ganesh
01:45 / 31.05.05
I still think, though, Roberto & Mary - those guys are *hot* for each other !

Nahh, they have more of a spiritual connection. Mary would be on for a threesome, though, and "add some girls in there for a bit of fun".

Wow! Another bisexual! We're bound to see some same-sex action this year, aren't we?! Aren't we?
 
 
Alex's Grandma
02:08 / 31.05.05
I'm going to stick my neck out here, Dr G, and bet you a virtual fiver that Roberto and Mary have sex on telly at some point before Big Brother this year draws to it's inevitable, bloody conclusion.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
02:10 / 31.05.05
No way to both of you.
 
 
Ganesh
06:29 / 31.05.05
Not gonna happen.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
07:28 / 31.05.05
Apparently Mary has said she would like to "put [Science] in the sack". I can only hope she then added "together with a snake, a dog and a monkey, and throw the sack into a canal".
 
 
Cat Chant
08:30 / 31.05.05
Ganesh mentioned Marco's not-inconsiderable articulacy, and he's quite right, but I am jaded from marking fifty trillion first-year essays and felt the need to share this sentence with you:

the public will very rarely come to appraise more than a glimmer into the psyche kaleidoscope of the majority of contestants

Rarely indeed do I appraise more than a glimmer into the psyche kaleidoscope of anyone. Actually, I'm going to make that my .sig.
 
 
Cat Chant
08:31 / 31.05.05
Oh, and I thought you'd like to know that I have a friend who works in Chapeltown, where Science is from, and she assures me that he is indeed from "the hood." Shame on you all for doubting.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
11:43 / 31.05.05
Story in one of the red-tops today about a guy who claims to have been robbed at gunpoint by Science a few years ago.

[off-topic]Thank you all, by the way- as a result of this thread I at least had some vague idea what to write in my press pack last night, saving me at least an hour's work. I love Barbelith sometimes.[returning you to your scheduled thread]
 
 
Mourne Kransky
12:15 / 31.05.05
he is indeed from "the hood."
But surely some hoods are hoodier than others.

Can it be true that he likes the parson's nose to be cut off the chicken before cooking, such is his arse-phobia?
 
 
Alex's Grandma
12:23 / 31.05.05
I suppose we're all going to be learning a lot more about Science in the next few weeks, and that none of it will be good.
 
 
Ganesh
16:21 / 31.05.05
Can it be true that he likes the parson's nose to be cut off the chicken before cooking, such is his arse-phobia?

Doesn't do cunnilingus either. Perhaps he's oophobic?
 
 
w1rebaby
19:30 / 31.05.05
Story in one of the red-tops today about a guy who claims to have been robbed at gunpoint by Science a few years ago.

I am guessing that this is bollocks. I really can't see Science holding a gun, even sideways, you know, like that instead of like that.
 
 
Ganesh
19:42 / 31.05.05
Mm. He's more likely to assault with some deadly freestyling. Or something.
 
 
The Falcon
20:27 / 31.05.05
I'm just watching the rapping now, and Science is 'tightest' (as we used to say in the Hawkhill ghetto) by far.

I don't think Sam or Vanessa understood what they were supposed to do. Shite, mate.
 
 
Ganesh
20:31 / 31.05.05
It's Science's chosen specialist subject, innit? That and cutting the arses off chickens.

Maxwell's The Streets-influenced one was okay, even if it kinda hit the Moonskids.
 
 
Ganesh
20:42 / 31.05.05
See this tawdry parade of cheap 'n' nasty Hallowe'en cliche? "This totally represents me; it's, like, an essence of me."

Some Goths are sadder than others.
 
 
Olulabelle
20:48 / 31.05.05
Ai-ai-aiii.

Welcome to Humiliation TV, already covered by ten of your finest English pages.

That whole rapping thing was wrong in so many ways they're innumerable.

Poor, poor Moonpig. If she does think she's lovelybodygorgeous then that's ace for her, but I rather don't think she does. I think she thinks all the other girls in the house are more lovelybodygorgeous than she. In one way, this is very clever of BB as you have all already so eloquently said, but in another it's horribly cruel of them regardless of TV-show 'look-at-the-size-16-girl-with-the-big-tits-be-gutted' type amusement.

So cue - Moonpig is mortified because Maxwell called her heaving bosom 'frightening', because in Moonpig head this means 'Fat ugle trollope, not comparable with lovelybodygorgeous skinny Sam and in fact not the Jane Austen breathlessly overflowing-esque look (possibly) intended.' Whereas to be fair, I actually think Maxwell was serious when he said the heaving bosom was frightening only due to it's heaving very muchon-display size.

I say this because for me, a suitable candidate for 'the type to turn down Pamela Anderson' Maxwell does not maketh.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
20:51 / 31.05.05
Well her clothes are blacker than the blackest cloth
And her face is whiter than the snows of Hoth.
She wears Dr Martens and a heavy cross
But on the inside she's a Happy Goth
 
 
Tryphena Absent
21:01 / 31.05.05
Ah, Olulabelle, that's why moonpig needs our support.
 
 
Ganesh
21:17 / 31.05.05
Well, Moonpig's past would seem to confirm - if confirmation were needed - that she's constructed her whole tissue paper-fragile QueenBitch persona on the ample but squishily treacherous foundation of her vast tittage. Initial extravagant speculation about her hundred lovers is at odds with Moonpig's own rather more conservative estimate of two ("I've got the tightest pussy in here"). Unsurprisingly, then, her inept "stirring... bitch" self-image overlies deep-rooted insecurity. As someone whose personal worth derives from 'sexiness', she's constantly comparing herself to other females - and, when she came out with the "women are jealous of me because I've got it all" patter in her audition interview, she handed herself to Big Brother on a plate.

I don't think Maxwell, for all his dickishness, did intend to reduce her to tears. I suspect he did find her Day 1 boobery alarming, but foolishly thought mentioning this in a rap would be taken as a compliment - or, at least, neutrally.
 
 
Shrug
21:30 / 31.05.05
That link about Lesley made me a bit sad, do they still have pre and post big brother counselling? She really is going to have a horrible time of it throughout her stay and for months and months after she leaves, isn't she? No glossy premieres for her. sniff.
 
 
Olulabelle
21:38 / 31.05.05
I don't think Maxwell has any idea about girls in the slightest. I also think that Sam has only taken up with Maxwell because as everybody here has alread said (I'm always late with the comment) she's just as insecure as Moonpig, and has suddenly found herself propelled spotty-bottom down (if the rumour in the house is to be believed) into the role of utterly devastatingly normalgirlness.

I also feel a bit sorry for her because of this. Thinking you're special and then finding out you're completely ordinary must be far, far worse than thinking you're ordinary and happily finding out you're fairly fascinating to quite a lot of the general public, which is what happened to the lovely Jade.

As for Stary Mary, I've already written what I think about that in the Temple but I think I might re-post it here. (And can I just say that the fact that there's a Big Brother thread in the Temple rocks most wonderfully. )

(From the Temple) On Mary:

I have not yet made my mind up one way or the other, although admittedly the whole arriving with a broomstick and big hooded cloak thing was a completely ridiculous thing to do; the littlest Harry Potter vote having gone to bed a good few hours beforehand.

However.

Regardless of whether Mary is or isn't what she claims to be, one must consider this:

Witchy Mary person:

Dear Gods, Goddesses and Godforms, spirits and deities, random manifestations and mythical winged beasts, please let me perform all my most intimate and personal rituals on national TV, (including that aura thing that I saw on Jane Goldman's psychic programme) and let me be watched by a thousand trillion teenagers all hooked on 'Buffy', 'Charmed', 'Sabrina the teenage witch' (and that other godawful programme made in America depicting a girl with Satan's soul who is desperate to find the Holy-goodness we all know lives deep inside her.)

Oh Gods, Goddesses (etc, etc,): Let me be the one to connect with them in a way no Big Brother contestant yet has, simply because the world is turning to TV dramas and children's books with a Pagan bent, and because all female teenagers everywhere know how to make a love-spell courtesy of their 'little book.'

My Gods, Goddesses (etc, etc,): Please let me scare them witless with my doll-pins and my black eye-liner, let me fool them with my love for Gothic music even though I have never heard the song "She Sells Sanctuary," let me perplex them with my silent, stary looks and let me help them wet their pants with the excitement of seeing a 'real live witch' who can do real live spells and stuff, actually here on actual live television.

My dearest Gods, Goddesses (etc, etc,): Hear my plea. Do not let me waver from my task, no matter how many people call me fake, stupid or 'not-even-kooky' because I am the chosen one. And in the name of all things black-cloak-like, candley, and that five-sided star thingy which I know has something to do with it; I will win that one hundred thousand pounds. For I have even been to Glastonbury once and my Mum and I actually walked up the Tor and back which is quite a long way.

***

Mary's plan is fucking brilliant, if you ask me.
 
 
Ganesh
21:40 / 31.05.05
Oh, I dunno, Cistern. She seems slightly more resilient onscreen than she does on paper (if y'know what I mean). Whether or not she's emotionally-scarred by the whole experience depends who she allies with. The fact that she's making friends among the gayers suggests that she's not solely dependent, socially, on approval from the boorish hetboys.

Moonpig is limited, sure, but in some ways she's less limited than the likes of Sam. Sam's involved a similar SexedUpVibroGirrrl persona on what appear to be similarly slight foundations. Sam, however, seems to hang around Maxwell and Anthony like a limp dishrag, apparently alienating female and gayer housemates alike. And, for all Moonpig's teary bouts, Sam seems a lot less open to fun...
 
 
Alex's Grandma
21:42 / 31.05.05
Slightly concerned about these rumours about Roberto, and what supposedly happened between him and that child that time, shortly before his alleged exit from the teaching profession.

I don't have the precise details to hand, but Googling 'Roberto,' 'Big Brother' and 'beating a kid up' should probably cover it.
 
 
Ganesh
21:42 / 31.05.05
Olulabelle, are you suggesting Mary has a g*mepl*n...?
 
 
Olulabelle
21:46 / 31.05.05
Cistern, don't feel sad for Moonpig. She'll be fine. Think Jade and the whole 'How will she cope with the tabloid hate when she gets out?' fiasco. I admit that I even wrote a letter to Endemol in the middle of Jade's Big Brother about her treatment in and out of the house.

Now she earns fuckloads of money, is the most famous of them all even though she didn't win, is a major Z list star and it's probably everything she ever wanted.

I foresee this for Moonpig. If she gets to stay in the public will come to love her, 100 men and unwanted babies or no, simply because she's (and I future quote a random member of the male public in the Sunday tabloids, a few months from now) "just your normal girl, like. With fucking huge baps."*


This will come to haunt me. She'll probably have a major breakdown and I'll feel horrible.
 
 
Ganesh
21:47 / 31.05.05
Slightly concerned about these rumours about Roberto, and what supposedly happened between him and that child that time, shortly before his alleged exit from the teaching profession.

I don't have the precise details to hand, but Googling 'Roberto,' 'Big Brother' and 'beating a kid up' should probably cover it.

That might bring up some of the tabloid gossip (actually, it doesn't). From what I've read over on Digital Spy, there's nothing to suggest he assaulted a child.
 
 
Ganesh
21:55 / 31.05.05
I agree with Olulabelle. There is a thick seam of misogyny built in to Big Brother, but it's generally not the busty Jade/Moonpig types who get the really nasty end of it; they're merely objects of ridicule which, as Olulabelle points out, is readily parlayed into fame and fortune (even if it's fleeting).

No, the females who are subjected to the ickier tabloid misogyny are those perceived to be sly/manipulative/cockteasing rather than ridiculous. They tend to attract the "all women are whores, whores or sluts or prostitutes" brigade, who fulminate turgidly over much of the tabloid press. It's Sam I feel ominous about...
 
 
Tryphena Absent
22:03 / 31.05.05
The thing about Moonpig crying is that she's 19, coming out of adolescence, typically insecure as most girls are at that age, her breasts have just been insulted and they're likely the thing she feels most confident about. She's probably still adapting to her body, it's no wonder if she does invest self-worth in sexiness. She's in this house with these people she doesn't know... ner, I think she's shown that her self-worth is wider than that, if not she'd probably be collapsing by now and she seems pretty cheerful considering the amount of arguing going on.
 
  

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