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Big Brother: Revenge of the Sixth.

 
  

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The Falcon
23:02 / 29.05.05
African papers always rock an excellent turn of phrase.
 
 
Cat Chant
09:35 / 30.05.05
Isn't that just the 'media friendly' version of Bubble's story though ? I could be wrong here, but it seemed to me that Bubble's true character arc was to do with how he expressed himself after that incident with his leg.

For some reason, that just sums up why I love Barbelith so much. Keep it coming, people: I'm another of the people not watching BB, just reading the thread. Thank you for providing this public service.
 
 
Ganesh
09:48 / 30.05.05
Makosi is apparently not popular with newzimbabwe.com

Having briefly dated Mugabe's nephew can't have helped...

If she's looking to be nominated by everyone, I think Makosi's picked the wrong tactic. Rather than going out of her way to piss all the other housemates off (which will rebound on her later, especially if she's not permitted, subsequently, to explain why she acted this way), she should've taken the homesick/not happy route, bursting into tears and claiming she missed her family (or whatever). Unless her housemates were being really vindictive, this would've secured her the necessary nominations on compassionate grounds.
 
 
Bed Head
09:55 / 30.05.05
I'm another of the people not watching BB, just reading the thread. Thank you for providing this public service.

Aaaand another. This thread really should come with a little space at the bottom of the page where we can all send in supportive txt messages for the people in the thread.
 
 
Ganesh
10:23 / 30.05.05
Maxwell seems to a bit on the 'Bubble' ticket though - Ordinary geezer, man of the people, etc, who's pretty much bound to crash and burn psychologically well before he's put out of his misery by the viewing public.

Nah, they're different beasts, albeit different straight-talkah Cockernee geezah beasts (sounding like Mark E Smith there...). Maxwell is an altogether slicker creation than the comparatively naive Bubble, having road-tested Endemol productions before (cue predictable 'mole' paranoia). He's selling his London cabbie brand of Non-PCness With Just A Hint Of Bigotry in a more knowing, possibly cynical way than Bubble did. It's Maxwell's ticket of admission, his angle, and he knows it.

Maxwell's a tougher nut, psychologically, I think. Which is not to say he won't go under...
 
 
Ganesh
10:27 / 30.05.05
Oh yeah, and as a side-note to her not-entirely-unbollocks claim that she can "turn any gay man straight", Vanessa is another BB bisexual.

Ho hum.
 
 
Ganesh
10:36 / 30.05.05
Incidentally, if people are grateful to the doughty souls in this thread, I'm indebted to the even hardier 'live updaters' on Digital Spy, for their marvellously deadpan accounts of what's going on in the Big Brother house at any given moment.

Sample:

11.28: Derek suggesting they stop talking about cherryade and talk about Wagner instead. Maxwell telling Makosi that this was a good way to get her own way, proclaiming it "Wicked", congratulating her for making good television and telling her that Channel 4 must be loving her. Makosi saying all she wants is to be loved........ Roberto comes into bedroom - Kemal tells him not to talk about cherryade because Derek has flipped out over it and it makes him scared lol

Posted by Grannypants


It's the final "lol" that just makes it.
 
 
Cherielabombe
10:48 / 30.05.05
What will lesley do for glass of wine? This, from the E4 Site:


"I would suck my own nipples," Lesley said, "not that I've tried or anything, I just know that I could," she proudly announced.


Classy!!
 
 
Ganesh
10:50 / 30.05.05
And here she is eating her own flapjack:



Aaaand, for those in need of even more Moonpig oral-plus-tittage:



"Jealous" females, form an orderly line, please.
 
 
Warewullf
11:45 / 30.05.05
Hah!! Excellent!
 
 
w1rebaby
14:17 / 30.05.05
That's enough to put one off both tits and oral for life.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
14:38 / 30.05.05
Slightly disappointed that Mary seems to falling to pieces already. She's doing that 'eye' thing, increasingly.

I was hoping she'd be more of a 'powerful force...'

Oh well.
 
 
Ganesh
17:15 / 30.05.05
"Charlie Big-Potatoes giving it all the lemon." What is Maxwell on abaaaht?
 
 
pear
17:23 / 30.05.05
Lemon dash = flash

Lesley photos - I'm off to wash my eyes with bleach. Nyarrrgghhh, I can still see them...
 
 
Ganesh
17:43 / 30.05.05
Ahhh. Cheers for the translation, Pear. I owe you a pony. Or something.

Digital Spy has apparently got last year's dancing skeleton, Marco 'Weeping Fagbangle' Sabba, as a columnist/commentator. He's written this unusually thoughtful piece on 'labelling theory' in BB. Thoughtful, but carrying the unmistakable tang of soured grapes. 'If you prick me, do I not bleed', but being a bleeding prick didn't help: despite his protestations, I don't buy the assertion that I found Marco repellent as a result of the eeevil Endemol types playing with my mind; I found him repellent because he was apparently happy enough to sublimate his not-inconsiderable articulacy into screechy braying, seal-claps and lipgloss.

Nice try, though, Marco.

Makosi seems able to cry to order. She really should've tried the 'I'm really missing my family' tactic, rather than attempting to antagonise, one by one.
 
 
Ganesh
19:30 / 30.05.05
Mary has apparently celebrated her 31st birthday by hanging a small doll on a string above her bed. Spoooooky!

*yawns*

Googling 'Kevin Carlyon', the self-styled "King of the White Witches" who was rather dismissive of Stary Mary, is interesting in itself.

Apparently he's not just a witch; he's THE WITCH!

(Or, one suspects, TEH WITCH!!!!1!!1!!!!!)
 
 
Ganesh
20:04 / 30.05.05
Speaking of Mary, she's apparently going to make an "announcement" at the end of her party. Is the most Barbeloid housemate gonna tell us she's

a) leaving

b) an actor playing the role of spooky kookstress

or

c) Old Man Withers from the Haunted Fairground?

Guesses?
 
 
Alex's Grandma
20:32 / 30.05.05
c) surely.
 
 
Ganesh
20:33 / 30.05.05
Will it include the words, "look into my eyes look into my eyes not around my eyes into my eyes my eyes"?

According to the live updates, Mary's become a lot more assertive over the last 24 hours, readily taking sides against certain of the female housemates for little or no apparent reason. She got to choose who got which costumes for her Hallowe'en Goth-Lite party, and opted to give the sexy, tight dresses to Kemal and Craig (who's not even into cross-dressing, as far as we know), seemingly merely to deny those outfits to Sam and Saskia, who got comparitively frumpy cloak affairs. She describes herself as "ruthless", and I suspect this is her way of dealing with female rivals.

I'm in two minds as to whether or not she'll leave. I wonder whether her initial shakiness was the result of being booed when she entered the house, and now she's been suitably reassured that she's a lovely spiritual snowflake etc., etc. she'll stay. I suspect her announcement will be some crap about "bad energy" coming from Sam and Saskia, or summat.

Speaking of Sam, it looks like she'll be the target of much of this year's misogyny (despite Moonpig's heroic efforts): she's already being labelled a "slag" on account of "flirting".

Same old same old, then.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
21:18 / 30.05.05
hehe. Antony announces "I've just seen a rabbit" as a rat shoots by the window. Consett must be very rich zoologically.
 
 
Cherielabombe
21:22 / 30.05.05
I wonder if Mary's eyes ever hurt from doing that spooky glare all the time.

I have to put Science down as possibly the most irritating person in there at the moment. As "ghetto" as I am. He's like the guy who went to the private school that Eminem beats at the end of "8-Mile."

I DO like the tory, but his tory-ness scares me, too...
 
 
Tryphena Absent
22:12 / 30.05.05
I like moonpig, I think she's sweet. Especially now that she's wet Maxwell's bed. He's such a moron.
 
 
Ganesh
22:16 / 30.05.05
Yeah, how dare he accuse her of having "frightening" tits! Moron!

I think she might be okay once she drops the sex-bitch-envy-attractor schtick.

Aaand in an attempt to revive Housemate Equations:



+



=

 
 
Alex's Grandma
22:21 / 30.05.05
He really is a disgrace, Science, isn't he ? Very much the kind of man that makes one embarrassed to be alive.

You'd kill yourself, I guess, rather than have to listen to any more of that, but then the terrible thing would be, that Science would still be around
 
 
Alex's Grandma
22:35 / 30.05.05
Really, say what you'd like about Mary, but it's hard to imagine a more depressing way to spend your 31st birthday.
 
 
Warewullf
22:38 / 30.05.05
I DO like the tory, but his tory-ness scares me, too...

Did you see him the shower? Daaayymm... that was unexpected. A Tory with an excellent body. Who'd'athunkit?
 
 
Ganesh
23:08 / 30.05.05
Mmmmm, indeeeed.



His Toryness, while easy to forget in the context of the Big Brother house, is not only scary but suspect. I can't quite get my head around his motive in entering - but then, I can't understand why a gay black man would be secretary of the Monday Club, or allow people to call him 'Golly'. There're all sorts of mildly conspiracyesque rumours about him being there as part of an attempt by the Tories to break their old/white/straight image by colonising the yoof meedja.

I'm not sure. I think his motives are as much personal as political, possible more so. He seems to have a history of forcing himself into ostensibly unwelcoming social environments and thereby "making history". I wonder whether likes being stand-out exotica.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
23:33 / 30.05.05
To elaborate on my newfound love for moonpig: it's not pity so much as a willingness to save her from doom. She has absolutely no sense of timing, you may think so from the water in the bed but she flashed her breasts on the first night so clearly the water is coincidental. She's bound to get beaten by the tabloids because she's not thin, she has no shame but feels she has the right to get upset when criticised, well it's her body and why shouldn't she show it off? She can actually hold a note and generally she's quite a cheery person. She's also chosen to hang out more with Kemal than Saskia, which I think is a good choice. Hurrah moonpig! I also like the word moonpig.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
00:21 / 31.05.05
What is the deal with Craig ?
 
 
Ganesh
00:25 / 31.05.05
In what sense?
 
 
Alex's Grandma
00:35 / 31.05.05
'Kamal thinks he can come into this house and be a big queen' or words to that kind of garbled-ish effect 'But I can be a bigger one !'

Which is fair enough, and I don't mean the guy any harm, yet, but I'm a bit puzzled by this whole 'I'm not gay' thing he has going on.
 
 
Ganesh
00:42 / 31.05.05
Yeah... I guess if he's never actually had the opportunity to have sex with a bloke, he's hedging his bets. It's difficult to say: as with his initial interview (surely one of the most charmless, unlikeable in the show's history), his motives are opaque.
 
 
Lama glama
00:55 / 31.05.05
Hasn't he stated that he has had sex with a woman? Or did I just make that up right now, just for a reason to make my virginal post on this BB thread. Anyway, now that I'm here..

Mary to win.
Moonpig to stop treating those chocolately things in such a phallic manner. I must say that her hair reminds me of something that I can't quite place my finger on..

And Craig..lord yes, he was utterly charmless, but aren't most of the housemates this year? The only housemates that seem to secrete any amount of charm are gentlemanly Roberto and Derek, whom I would have expected to loathe from his bio, but am finding surprisingly interesting.
 
 
Ganesh
01:03 / 31.05.05
Hasn't he stated that he has had sex with a woman?

I think Craig's said he's had sex with a woman, yes - but I gleaned that from Digital Spy's live updates, and it's never been reported anywhere else. That wouldn't, in itself, mean he were heterosexual, though, would it?

And Craig..lord yes, he was utterly charmless, but aren't most of the housemates this year?

There's charmless and there's (fucking) claiming that one derives one's (fucking) pleasure from (fucking) destroying people's lives. I don't think anyone else has intentionally painted quite such an unlovely psychological self-portrait.

The only housemates that seem to secrete any amount of charm are gentlemanly Roberto

"Minger!"
 
 
Tryphena Absent
01:09 / 31.05.05
Don't insult moonpig!!! She's a feisty young lady! I hereby appoint myself protector of moonpigs everywhere.

I do like Roberto. He's a friendly guy. I keep wishing I was in the house this year so I could tell them to shut the hell up when they talk about how 50 year olds shouldn't have sex and how people are losing their innocence earlier. Yeah right Science, because the European aristocracy never married their daughters off at a young age and children have always gone to school rather then work at the age of 9. Yeah.
 
  

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