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Here there be Spoilers.
Hookay, where to get started… I liked the opening scene, despite myself. I really wanted the scene of young Jean’s best friend being hit by a car, triggering her powers, but the opening worked, and it was a little fun to see Charles and Magsy pre-angst.
The young Angel scene…. It could have worked. It had potential, and it was sad, and it ultimately goes no where. In fact, that’s a commentary on Angel in his entirety in this film. He and his father served no real purpose other than Fanboy wankery. You could have taken out “Worthington Industries” and replaced them with “Trask Enterprises” (since it’s not like Trask did anything anyway), had the exact same plot, and cut out 7 minutes of Angel randomness that DID NOT HELP THE PLOT, and replaced it with, say, 7 minutes of actual characterization, and the movie would be richer for it. It’s not that I don’t like Angel, I do. But he was not used in any necessary way, and serves mostly as a distraction in an already overloaded (in terms of too many characters in it) film.
The next half hour was too condensed. It felt like I’m supposed to care about what’s going on, but it happens to quickly with so little dialogue that I simply don’t. So, Xaiver’s a mind controlling dick? Okay, a considerable retco from the last two flicks, but I’m willing to accept it since that’s my opinion of Charles 50% of the time anyway. But there’s what? Five lines about Jean being evil? And a MPD? Apparently the Phoenix has been locked in her the whole time? Huh. It would have worked for me, if they’d just slowed the fuck down for a moment and actually talked about it rather than throwing sound bytes at each other.
Poor Scott Summers. He gets count out of the entire second act of the second movie (“Cyclops? Oh wait! I remember now. I had forgotten you were in this one.”), then he dies, off camera, because…. Jean lost control? Maybe? I don’t know. It’s not like he pissed her off like Charles did. So I guess she kills him because she’s always secretly hated him. Or something. I don’t know.
And just an aside, but where the hell are all the Phoenix-y fireworks? Sure, she disintegrates people, I get that, but shouldn’t she, like, go all Library of Alexandria on them? Phoenix=Fire bird of resurrection, right? So where’s the fire bird part?
Chuck dies, no surprise there, and I am vindicated in the end by my belief that Charles Xaiver has at much trouble staying dead as Jean. After he kicks the bucket I turned to a friend and whispered “Until next issue.” I’m glad I was right.
As someone said, too much Spot the Mutant. And it’s not subtle in any way like the previous films. I don’t care about Arclight at all. Juggernaut was, well… he needs to keep his mouth shut. And why does Magsy think these two are so much more important than his army of mutant hordes? Other than the fact that the actors playing them are getting paid more than the others, I mean?
Umm… so did Anna Paquin realize that she’s the second youngest person to ever win an oscar, and she really could do better than a franchise film that isn’t particularly good, so she asked to be written out? Or what? She’s depowered now (I guess. You notice a lot of important things seem to happen off camera in this film?), so I’m assuming she’s done. Not that she’s done anything of real use since Movie One.
Where was the Colossus/Kitty make up scene? I demanded it, and I never got it you bastards! Colossus mostly just stood there, really. Which was irritating. Because Colossus is a cool character. But, if you’re not even going to give him a purpose other than throwing Wolverine around, why bother having him in the first place?
I agree that I like Shadowcat. As a character she worked for me, although she’s essentially filling the role of Rogue because… the writers didn’t know what to do with Rogue, I guess. Meh.
Hey did anyone else notice that on the bridge before the Brotherhood walks onto Alcatraz it’s very much daylight, and as soon as they step off of the bridge it’s inexplicitly nightfall? Anyone?
Damn, Storm, couldn’t you just have, I don’t know, knocked Calysto out or something? Oh wait, we’re trying to show that Storm is bad ass. Except she’s played by Halle Berry. Grr. And doesn’t Storm have, like, a moral code or something? Guess not.
Beast had some good moments, but most of the time he felt… uninspired. Like Kelssy Grammer was holding back or something. I don’t know. It just wasn’t what I was dreaming of.
Okay, the ending now. Jean wanted Wolverine to kill her, right? Because, she just obliterated a couple hundred people. And healing factor or no, adamantium skeleton or no, if she had wanted too, Wolverine would be very much dead right now. So Jean controls herself long enough for Logan to kill her (And seriously Wolverine, she came back from the dead after having a fucking river dropped on her head. You think a stab wound to the stomach is going to kill her? Hell, Mystique fucking walked away from that one!), because that’s the only way that could work.
And thus it ends. Leech survives (rats), Iceman and Rogue are… Well, I’m not sure. They leave it open ended. I’m assuming Shadowcat isn’t killed by Jean, since we see Leech at the end, but not her. At all. Likewise with Colossus. I’m glad the director thought there characters were important enough to be given a non-existent dénouement. Wolverine finds piece, I suppose. And Magneto is left alone and depowered- or not.
Finally, I got to see my two favorite X-Men on screen. I have no idea why Jamie Madrox joins Magneto, because he doesn’t really say, but it was awesome when he let himself be captured again. That ruled. And Psylocke was super hot! Now then, where was her British accent? Where the hell were her telepathic powers, telekinetic knives, or mad ninja skills? And most importantly, why the fuck does she get killed for NO REASON AT ALL?!?!?!?!!!!!
Sorry. I’m just a little partial to her, is all.
/End Spoliers. |
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