Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.

Underground > Conversation >

The miserable thread

Page: 1 ... 65 66 67 68 69(70)71 72 73 74 75

21:23 / 16.05.08

Well, I am a no-talent hack. I don't suppose anyone doubts that. I was trying to say that it's okay to be that way, that it doesn't necessarily stand between one and a lucrative publishing career. Hopefully.

As usual, it's beyond me why you're so angry about this.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

14:29 / 19.05.08

In other news: I know this is terribly minor in comparison to everyone else's miserableness, but nevertheless. Facial eczema! For that oh-so-special "fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down" feeling. And it's a nice hot itchy flareup so you're continually aware of the orangey-brown deep-fried appearance of your skin even when you're not peering morosely into a mirror. JOY.

15:21 / 19.05.08

I've just been made redundant from my IT firm after nearly three years. It sucks, but I think the whole firm is probably going down the pan over the next six months or so.

Nevermind, I have to work a months notice, then get my redundancy pay (about 2/3 weeks pay) then any unpaid holiday, which fortunately, could add up to as much as a months wages. Kinda sucks still, but I guess if I get a new job pretty quickly, I could end up with a tidy sum in my account.

All Acting Regiment

16:55 / 19.05.08

At least you're getting covered over the gap. Presumably you've got access to the internet and so on outside work, so you can look for stuff?

Re: Exczema, are there not special facepacks available?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

17:24 / 19.05.08

Having been all happy about having a really wicked flat to move into and having three entire weeks to do it in, I'm now looking at all my shit, doing some mental arithmetic and feeling like a tiny stick man standing at the base of an enormous construction and knowing that I have to somehow do the proportional equivalent of shifting the pyramids from Egypt to Neptune, and realising that I'm only dwelling on this in order to avoid having to think about other entirely unrelated things that really need to be thought about...

...fuck it, I'm getting drunk tonight.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

17:58 / 19.05.08

Aw, Stoatie. Moving is truly teh suck.

Exczema, are there not special facepacks available?

The usual treatment is careful washing and drying, avoiding cosmetics, and lots of aqueous cream. I have become allergic to my usual cream, so today I went to the pharmacy to ask for something else. Only to be told that what I had diagnosed as eczema and what I've been treating as eczema is actually rosacea and I needed a totally different treatment. Wtf.

18:33 / 19.05.08

A month ago, I confessed a secret love I've developed for a longtime female friend. She denied that my feelings were even real and said I just wanted sex. I was so utterly devastated I wanted to swallow a bottle of valium. I lashed out in a rage, said some really cruel things (some of which I really meant). I've spent the last month holed up in my apartment. Now, she has a new boyfriend but keeps calling me, wanting to hang out. Part of me wishes she'd just disappear off the face of the Earth. The other half can't let half #1 get rid of her.

I HATE LOVE, I HATE LOVE, I HATE LOVE,I HATE LOVE, I HATE LOVE, I HATE LOVE,I HATE LOVE, I HATE LOVE, I HATE LOVE,I HATE LOVE, I HATE LOVE, I HATE LOVE,I HATE LOVE, I HATE LOVE, I HATE LOVE,I HATE LOVE, I HATE LOVE, I HATE LOVE,I HATE LOVE, I HATE LOVE, I HATE LOVE!!! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE!

there, that feels a little better... why does this have to fucking hurt so much?!

Anna de Logardiere

18:45 / 19.05.08

Why don't you ask her to stop calling you?

19:59 / 19.05.08

As a small consolation, Stoatie, here's Jeffrey Lewis singing "Moving". It's all happy and sad and adorable. I'm not sure if it helps. Probably not, but it's lovely anyway.

And it's always weird to erase
every personal trace
from a place you called home for a while
and see all that you own in a pile.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

23:26 / 19.05.08

Seriously, I'm looking forward to getting the fuck out of this place and into the nice new place.

I just have BAD moving memories. Last time I moved my dog died. And I always hated moving anyway...

...and I have to write a eulogy for someone I never actually met in real life who died a few days ago but who I genuinely considered a friend and I think I'm just trying not to think about ANYTHING...

...which is a bit rubbish, really.

STUFF. IN BOXES. AND BOOZE. It works.

Somebody turn my brain off. SWITCH THAT FUCKER OFF.

I mean, zombie movies are cool. I've always loved them. But I've never seen them as something to aspire to. Until now. FUCK IT. I'll even eat brains if I have to. I'll do shambling, as long as I no longer have to give a fuck.

23:35 / 19.05.08

You are one of the good ones Stoats.

That really is worth a hell of a lot more than it sometimes seems.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

23:50 / 19.05.08

What iamus said.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

23:56 / 19.05.08

iamus and Mordant- Probably the wrong thread, but Barbelith still sometimes manages to reduce me to tears with how nice people can be.

00:33 / 20.05.08

There really are alot of nice people here.
Sorry you're feeling a little freaked out, Stoat, but I hope you'll enjoy your new place. Do you like to decorate? Because now's your chance!

Or, alternately-
BRANEZ!

Essential Dazzler

01:34 / 20.05.08

I've finally started seeing proper help for my alcohol problem, and it's helped. Keeping a diary of how many units I drink each day is really useful, because it helps with perspective and spacing out sessions.

But keeping a frank record of how often I fuck over myself and everyone I love is crappy.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:15 / 20.05.08

That's awesome, Sailor. Just use the "fucking people over" thing as motivation to make the rest of it work.

It's fucking difficult, and it's hard work, and you WILL occasionally want to just get shitfaced just so you can write it on your booze diary to piss off your counsellor. (Apart from the whole "I just spent an hour talking about booze! Of COURSE I need a drink now!" thing).

But it's worth it. I'm still a pisshead, and probably always will be, but I'm a lot less of one thanks to doing exactly what you're doing now.

If you ever need a random Barbeloid's opinion, feel free to PM me.

11:51 / 21.05.08

Stoat;

When all else seems to fail you, remember only this; that The Swans are your friends.

12:04 / 21.05.08

In a way that Half Man, Half Biscuit could never be

17:56 / 21.05.08

Ask her to stop calling me? You're right.

Unfortunately, I misrepresented that statement in my emotional haste. She's called once and e-mailed me I-don't-know-how-many times. And I did ask her to stop. I just wish she'd never contacted me, to begin with. I was getting over her and when I heard from her I just slumped. "If you can't see it, it's not there." I still care about her, I just don't want to see her till at at least the end of summer. I need time to get my shit together.

05:41 / 22.05.08

I found out today that S5 is the last season of The Wire. And because I know that people can keep from spoilering a person to death like they can keep from breathing, I had to run away and watch the whole thing in a single go.

I feel like crying. No joke.

Essential Dazzler

19:17 / 23.05.08

We went out for a meal this evening to celebrate flatmate's Birthdays and the iminent end of most of my friends university careers. I conveniently got an ulcer that I managed to trap between my incisors 5 times in the space of 20 minutes.

Eating is already a pointless boring chore for me most of the time, I really don't appreciate searing pain into the bargain.

Hallo, Paper Spaceboy

20:06 / 23.05.08

Oh, dude. Ulcer or cold sore? If it's a cold sore, baking powder the crap out of it. Warm salt water? I vaguely remember that warm salt water rinses help too.

21:55 / 23.05.08

Warm salt water definitely works well on mouth ulcers. If it's raw after being bitten, you might want to give it a miss though.

21:50 / 13.06.08

Tim Russert is dead. That just utterly, utterly sucks.

10:48 / 16.06.08

I'm completely failing to get my shit together. I'm signed off work with depression, I'm out of money, I need a new job and I just can't force myself to get stuff done.

17:35 / 16.06.08

Conversely, it's the time of year where part time work begins to beckon and I wish I was unemployed. I need to do this to pay for school, but retail just drains my soul. The customer, who believes they are always right but rarely is, will torture me with obscure requests for products that have not existed since before the dark times and my manager will require me to do three different things simultaneously all while dressed in an unflattering vomit green tee-shirt.

My only hope is that the shop will have another rodent infestation this year. I spent hours last year trying to deal with rats and their droppings. It's certainly less stressful than dealing with customers. What's fun is when the world of rat and customer collide. Trying to distract a customer as a rat scurries past the counter is always immense fun.

01:02 / 17.06.08

MMMmmmm...rats.

I'm miserable because it's a little over ten years since I graduated college, and I feel like a total failure as an artist and as a human being. I'm no closer to where I wanted to be now than I was ten years ago.

I'm thirty-four years old and I think I am going through a mid-life crisis or something.

14:41 / 17.06.08

Where do you want to be?

15:17 / 17.06.08

I'm miserable because it's a little over ten years since I graduated college, and I feel like a total failure as an artist and as a human being. I'm no closer to where I wanted to be now than I was ten years ago.

I know the feeling, my friend. Don't give up.

Whisky Priestess

15:39 / 17.06.08

You graduated at 24?

In which case you must have a higher degree - a Master's or a doctorate, right? Surely that's a good start?

18:01 / 17.06.08

Well, I never graduated and I'm even older so ner ner ner ner. I think I had my mid-life crisis at age 23, and now I am enjoying living in the style of a pensioner. hmmmm tea and sit down.

No one is where they thought they would be and if they are then they are an actual robot. The type that paints cars not the type with missiles on its arms.

07:06 / 18.06.08

Just saw a deer by the side of the road. It had been hit by a car but was still alive and twitching.

Horrible start to the day.

08:22 / 18.06.08

In which case you must have a higher degree - a Master's or a doctorate, right?

Why 'must'? Plenty of people start and finish education on their own timetable.

Anna de Logardiere

20:44 / 20.06.08

I have been on my own since 10am this morning and I feel lonely.

17:30 / 22.06.08

Hope A Hu-Li is feeling less lonely.

Page: 1 ... 65 66 67 68 69(70)71 72 73 74 75