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Why not, indeed? However, because I remain on a quixotic quest to keep this place off the sea bed, could we start here?
I don't appreciate the implication that I was being misogynistic and "spurning Eve".
Once again, what I actually said was:
There's an interesting sub-question here - essentially, does Barbelith basically hate women? I would probably say no - it's very well-intentioned, and hating women isn't a very well-intentioned thing to do. Does Barbelith, however, uncritically take the side of members? Often, yes. Does it have a limited skill-set in doing so, and does this support often therefore take the form of telling the complainer that the complainee is evil, manipulative, worthless, immature and so forth? That it do, gammer, that it do.
Does it happen that a majority of people vocally unlucky in love on Barbelith are male and heterosexual? Well, yes, it does seem so. As a result of which, a lot of the dissing tends to attach to women, and often as a result of our constituency young or emotionally fragile women, which emotional fragility is acceptable in the person who is complaining about them, or indeed in the person being complained about when it was part of a setup that involved the complainer getting together with them. It doesn't seem, all round, very salubrious.
All of which I stand by entirely, and is restated by Allegba as:
Quite possibly not. I think the appearance of woman-hating is kind of a structural problem (on its own it's actually Specific Person Disliking, but there's a lot of men being angry at Specific People who are women) as Haus says.
Did I at any point imply that you were being misogynistic? I did not. I already addressed that here - citation. You did that to me, in fact - citation, for which I would like an apology, because it is a mean thing to say and a cheap debating tactic based on a failure first to read and then to understand what I wrote. However, while I would like it, I certainly don't expect it. I can't be responsible for you not reading my posts, or not understanding them, or then calling me a misogynist based on that; I have to forgive you for that, and forgive myself for continuing to engage when that has happened, even though I know that it is a miserable experience for me and rarely profitable in the face of escalating intransigence. This is what has led brb to say:
What I should have said was that I absolutely do not see any validity or relevance whatsoever in anything you've written here about Bigger Boat's post, or Allecto & Haus's reaction to that post and the subsequent ones.
As it is, ABB seems, although a bit confused over what has happened here in this thread, to be in a pretty good place here in terms of acknowledging the difficulties of the fallout of a broken relationship. With that in mind, I'd be happier to think of his ex as a not-evil woman whose motivations may not be totally transparent to us, rather than a blame-tossing fuckcake. However, I'm aware that that is personal taste, and I see no point in continuing to be involved in a fight over something I did not say about a situation about which I know very little. I've expressed my sympathy with ABB's circumstances, and suggested that he make it clear that this contact is unwelcome, and go from there, to avoid further misery. I'm not sure how much furher one can go. |
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