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Urgh! Fuck!: A thread for untamed hate and anger [PICS]

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15:35 / 13.06.06

leaving a half-pint of beer out in the garden overnight

I'd recommend that. Not as effective as nuking the slimy bastards from spaaace, but it is eco-friendly. What you'll want to do is dig a shallow hole at the edge of your garden and put a bowl in it. Make the hole deep enough so that the lip of the bowl is dead even with the surrounding soil. Then fill the bowl about halfway with beer (it can be cheap beer as snails are very indiscriminate in their choice of drink). Let it sit overnight. The snails will be attracted to the beer smell and will fall into the bowl and drown. In the morning you'll have a lovely Dead Snail Soup which you can share with your seagull friends. You'll want to do this every evening over the course of a couple weeks, I'd imagine.

17:10 / 13.06.06

yes the beer death trap works wonders! If you have a huge number of the wee beasties you'll need a greater trap of bowl/beer. They can pile up on each other and drink all the beer. I jest not.

18:22 / 13.06.06

There's this vile creature that comes into where I work during the summer. She has the worst inter-personal skills I've ever come across and seems to take great delight in causing me stress. Today she wanted me to cut two keys for her and I dutifully did this. She returned about an hour later, screaming that I didn't do it properly. I asked her to give me the padlock and keys. Turns out she hadn't been putting the key in properly. She then proceeded to chide me for not showing her how to use the padlock properly and stating that I needed "to go back to school."

This, coming from a woman that can't even use a bloody padlock. FACEKNIVES!!

Another thing that makes me want to bloody the nearest puppy is that statement ("go back to school") when used in jokey manner, but delievered to a person in a service position (cashier, etc). Just because we're doing a job that you deem as lower, dickface, it doesn't make us any less intelligent than you. It's the most demeaning insult that has ever been shot in my direction and I usually take no time in correcting them by going into a lengthy, boring diatribe about what I actually am doing at college. This usually means that the joke is never directed at me again.

My rage is such that I've composed a piss poor haiku to express my feelings about my summer job and this person.

A mean girl puzzles.
Determined evil shakes.
The goal nearer to me

18:25 / 13.06.06

It smells like pee in my office and I can't find the fucking source. Fuck.

18:27 / 13.06.06

Window open?

ONLY NICE THINGS

18:27 / 13.06.06

Have you checked your penis?

More seriously, lack of sleep often causes olfactory hallucinations. Have you been living large?

18:31 / 13.06.06

Cheeky monkey.

21:11 / 14.06.06

In an ironic twist undoubtedly orchestrated by Matt, I spent the day cleaning up mouse droppings and urine. I can still smell that foul odour, after washing my hands ten times and taking a scalding shower.

Just 75 more days of this torture.

22:08 / 14.06.06

Mwahahahahahahahah. Now you know you dangers of laughing at me. Haus, you're next. Prepare to meet rodent feces. You see, now I'm finding this all very funny.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

12:57 / 15.06.06

Why do I continue to spend so much of my time/energy worrying about what other people think? Especially when it's someone I don't respect or even like very much. If I frankly detest most of X's opinions then why the fuck should I care about hir opinion of me?

Because I have Stupid in the Head! It is why!

13:17 / 15.06.06

You need a flameworthy ass-hat for your stupid head! They're all the rage!
Stupid in my head is why I ignore other people's good opinions of me and berate myself as rubbish? They've got sense and taste, isn't it more likely I'm being a pillock?
Brain says Nooo you are crap they are teh fules and do not see teh darquness write some poetry and mope
STUPID BRANE! STUPID QUANTUM! WHY I LAUGH? WHERE IS MY HAT OF ARSE?

*

21:40 / 15.06.06

*huggles @ Mordy & Quants*

21:54 / 15.06.06

Day 2 of rodent faeces clean-up duty..

I really should plan getting a summer job far in advance next year. Should in fact start looking for one now.

23:50 / 15.06.06

Make sure you soak those things before you clean them up. The Hantavirus will just add more hate and anger...

Our Lady Has Left the Building

08:45 / 16.06.06

A teenager pissed in our library yesterday. Deliberately. If we don't go CSI on his arse I will despair, I really will. Plus I want to get off with Warwick Brown. His getting married doesn't disguise his burning man-love for Nick Stokes one bit.

14:47 / 16.06.06

My poor 20lb Maine Coon cat got his foot slammed into a window while playing with his brother. He's okay, vet says to just watch him for a day.I had to cancel/reschedule my much antcipated tattoo session today.

..but sweet Mother of Catses, I've got 10 deep puncture bites in my arm from him freaking out on me. 5 minutes of holding the struggling INSANE beastie while my spouse freed his foot. My arm is swelling to the size of a watermelon and FAHK! IT HURTS!

AGH! AGH! AGH!

..but my cat's okay so that's the important thing and arm has been cleaned and bandaged. House looks like a war zone and there's blood (mine) everywhere.

OWEE!
&*%*@!!!

..got that pain Ordeal in a whole new way today. FAHK!

15:39 / 16.06.06

A teenager pissed in our library yesterday

Dammit. My curse was supposed to go to Haus. Sorry.

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

16:26 / 16.06.06

My boss seems to think that I should be doing the job of EVERYONE ON CAMPUS today.

No, I am fucking sorry the web page isn't up to par with other universities or other departments, they likely hired a WEB DESIGNER who makes at least 50% more per hour then I do. It's cool, really, that my hobbies have been usefull at work, but now I am managing a god damned SQL server, a job 3 paygrades above mine, designing web pages (2 paygrades above me) and doing all the work my position should actually be doing.

I understand that the department didn't have the budget at the time to actually hire someone whose job description covers all of this, but god dammit, this is really pissing me off.

18:29 / 16.06.06

Grrr. When there's a line of three people waiting for one of the checkouts in front of them to be free and you jump that queue expect someone, me perhaps, to point out your error and take the next free checkout you've just wandered up to. Why not try taking the lead of your nice bloke who said sorry and just got in line? Don't fucking glare at me from a foot away until I'm finished so that I feel like apologising for something then, when I try to smooth things over, mutter "god, how charming," and upbraid your man for letting people walk all over him.
Nasty little 40-a-day-pinched-faced-weasel-woman. I was having a really nice day until then.

Mister Six, whom all the girls

19:34 / 16.06.06

Picked up more duties at my job as another emp leaves... still making my lowest salary since 1997.

Urgh.

21:56 / 16.06.06

Hi, Elijah. First of all you my sympathies but, while I can understand how people get into that kind of position to "help out" and then find themselves "officially" in that capacity, you really need to sort that shit out. If you're doing a higher-paid person's job then you need to quit. Tell them you've found another job. See if they react with a payraise. Companies pull that shit all the time to get one person doing the work of two (or more) and it's not on, mate.

Goodness Gracious Meme

23:02 / 21.06.06

Urgh! Fuck!

Well-meaning but STUPID people making FUCKING STUPID comparisons between sexuality, gender and race.

This encountered several times in the last week or so with almost identitical formula:

Group A has to fight battles in society, that for Group B, no longer apply. We, as members of group A, demand the rights that group B already has.

Oddly, it's been queer majority-race(ie, in UK/US contexts, non-black/Asian/Latino/a/BME) people who've used A to mean Queer and B to mean Black/Asian/Latino/a/BME etc.

And het BME/Black/Asian/Latino/a people who've used A to mean BME/Black/Asian/Latino/a and B to mean Queer.

Isn't that suprising, eh?

ARRRRRGGHHHHHHHH

Goodness Gracious Meme

23:04 / 21.06.06

Additional: Am going to print out a copy of the Schisms in the Isms thread* and start whacking people.

*on corrugated iron.

14:58 / 22.06.06

MOTHERFUCKERSMOTHERFUCKERSMOTHERFUCKERS!!!

I hate what this fucking country's become.

22:16 / 02.07.06

To the fucking shitbag that owns that fucking dog that just won't stop barking and is setting off that other dog owned by that other shitbag, have some fucking decency and take the bloody animal inside so the rest of us poor bastards can get some fucking sleep. It's the fucking night before Monday morning, you fucking shitting arsehole.

What the fuck is wrong with some people?

22:31 / 02.07.06

Now the fucking neighbours are screaming at it and all the bloody babies in the neighbourhood are crying (the Bosun is still sleeping, thank God). Jesus, even the bastard seagulls are joining in. It's awful.

I feel so impotent. I want to punch that fucking arsehole owner in the fucking face.

20:40 / 03.07.06

I am a complete fuckwit and I smashed my car up because I was drunk and at the moment I really, really fucking hate myself for it.

Our Lady Has Left the Building

21:30 / 12.07.06

There's a helicopter circling round overhead. I presume it's something to do with the fire in a semi-completed building about a half-mile away, the police normally have the courtesy not to fly around that much after dark, what with the fact that police helicopters are fucking noisy and all that. But then I've also got to sleep with the windows open because it is teh hot, and teh heat gives me insomnia.

And worst, worst, worst of all Mark Radcliffe is on holiday so it's fucking Tom fucking Robinson sitting in for him on Radio 2. This is clearly a conspiracy to drive me completely Bruno.

22:25 / 12.07.06

you ok 'belle?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

22:38 / 12.07.06

Ooh crikey... didn't see that before, Lula... best wishes.

Tryphena Absent

01:20 / 15.07.06

I have an anecdote:

A few months ago I contacted the Co-op's customer service bureau (via the website) about my local store, which doesn't sell ecological cleaning products. I won't buy the type that don't biodegrade so it seemed logical to ask if my nearest general stockist would supply the shop specifically in my area. The response to my email stated that the shop was too small to stock the item that I was asking for. The Co-op that I go to has seven lines of Fairy Liquid on its shelves. That's about 40 bottles of Fairy Liquid and specifically four lines of the original brand.

It strikes me as absurd that thousands buy skin creams tested on animals because they might have anti-ageing effects everyday. I find generally, as someone addicted to the recycling box, that people can't break their habits. Sorry, this is going on a bit, I constantly find myself fishing rubbish out of bins, emailing organisations to discover the plastics they recycle, often that information isn't included on websites and I can only assume that they think the general population is too laissez-faire to want to know.

It's driving me slightly mad. There are all these people going on about how awful nuclear power stations are but they don't even know that councils don't recycle PP 5 plastic. Can someone talk me down to sanity?

04:27 / 15.07.06

Her: "The seating arrangement's OK - we're all couples here. Oh, and Catjerome. Poor Catjerome!"

Me: (thinks) Fuck off Smug Nearly-Marrieds! I am perfectly happy and don't want any pity sent my way from your irritating stereotyped-gender-role-conforming clingy coupleworld. Grr!

19:34 / 15.07.06

No, I don't want to go for a drink. Just like I didn't want to go for a drink an hour ago. Just like half an hour before that. Aaand ten minutes before that. Stop asking.

Still he's taking longer between asking. One of us is going to get worn down here and it best be him because I'm skint.

19:36 / 15.07.06

A MAN CAN DECLINE A STEIN AND STILL BE A MAN! LET THAT BE AN END TO IT!

Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey

20:49 / 15.07.06

Bosses!

Specifically bosses who tell me that I should 'have serious words with my wife' because her job occasionally prevents me from doing uncontracted weekend overtime.

Overtime, I might add, that I was told I wouldn't be required to do when I was offered the job.

Bosses who, after I've explained that my wife needs to work too, then go on to ask me who 'the breadwinner' in my family is!

Fuck you, you overweight, cologne-reeking, one-dimensional, arsewipe of a fuck-faced, racist, anachronistic spunk-wad!

(glad I got that off my chest)

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