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Urgh! Fuck!: A thread for untamed hate and anger [PICS]

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ONLY NICE THINGS

14:37 / 29.09.05

GGM: You live in a cul-de-sac. What did he think you were going to do - take wing and wee on Blair as he emerged from the conference?

16:18 / 29.09.05

...asked what I'm doing walking down my own street by a scary man with an enormous machine gun.

-"Going home. What are you doing in my street with a frickin' machine gun? Hmm?"
-"Hassling you and keeping an eye out for that Wolf Gang, I heard there were 82 of the fuckers. Like outta that film Bill Kill."

The scariest thing is when you see two men with HK-MP5s on the bus, looking bored. Bored. It's like living in a cyberpunk future.

22:57 / 29.09.05

people who say they don't smoke then rob all my fags really p*sses me off

and d1ckhead managers who treat me like a tea lady coz they're too damn lazy to make their own drinks

Goodness Gracious Meme

23:17 / 29.09.05

Gawd, yeah. That's so odd, isn't it?

(sorry, that aimed at quaunts. Seeing off-duty bored stormtroopers is ver' odd.)

take wing and wee on Blair as he emerged from the conference?

Well, actually, that makes it sound more reasonable, as if I had access to a jetpack, I would do exactly that.

03:07 / 30.09.05

It's all rather... Terry Gilliam's Brazil, innit?

19:13 / 30.09.05

Funny, I thought the goal here was to Put A Nice Paint Job Up In The Bathroom. I did NOT realize the goal was to Prove Who Is The Bestest Contractor In The World Infinity Plus One. God, the egos on these guys are threatening to sink the foundations... all right, I'm really fucking sorry that I WAS RIGHT AND YOU WERE WRONG, how dare I know something about paint when you have over 25 years of experience, HOWWW DAAARE IIIII? I will never express an opinion on this job again, lest I make the fatal error of BEING RIGHT, forcing you all to act like a bunch of turbo-douchebags. Or maybe instead of that you could FUCKING BLOW ME. Thanks.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

22:19 / 09.10.05

Finding out that the company I work for is up for sale AGAIN (with Christ knows what consequence for all our jobs) is quite annoying. Finding it out by READING IT IN THE BUSINESS PAGES OF THE DAILY SODDING TELEGRAPH WHICH WE'RE READING FOR WORK is just outfuckingrageous. What's wrong with talking to your staff every once in a while, motherfuckers?

02:15 / 10.10.05

Ibis, a 5 in Roman numerals is actually V, not IIIII.

02:36 / 10.10.05

Qalyn, that was a pictorial representation of the columns I was painting. Duh.

04:20 / 10.10.05

I'd also like to point out that the correct term is "turbo douche". "Turbo douchebag" is taxonomically iffy and doesn't scan right.

Goodness Gracious Meme

12:07 / 10.10.05

Jees, Stoats, that's fucking terrible.

Me: Gastric flu can fuck right off. Much better, albeit weak as kitten now, but weekend of splat, basically.

pointless & uncalled for

12:21 / 10.10.05

Everytime I stand up my knees make sounds like gravel in a tumble drier. All I did was go out for a short ride yesterday, this shouldn't be happening to me. If one of you fuckers has nicked my sinovial fluid I'm going to hunt you down like a very slow rattley ninja.

Tryphena Absent

14:03 / 10.10.05

Holy mother of god. I do not want to be ill.

Goodness Gracious Meme

14:30 / 10.10.05

ohmyfuckinggodamigladthisthreadexists.

So, am getting over what I think might have been an attack of gastric flu over the weekend. Much better, but still pretty much teh feeble.

Drag myself across town for an appointment that doesn't happen, then decide to make best of sit. and drag myself into co-op to do tasty healthy food shopping for the week. And spot a pyrex dish, of exactly the kind I've been pondering splashing on for *ages*, reduced to a fiver. Which makes it just doable.

(You can see the ending, can't you?)

So, do shopping, haul self and *heavy* bags onto bus, smugly congratulating self on bargain and economically sensible weekly shop.

Haul self off bus, exhuasted by this %huge expedition% and set off on two minute walk to my house.

At which point bag containing pyrex dish/groceries snaps, shattering Pyrex dish into a zillion pieces, scattering nicely over me, my groceries and the pavement.

AAAAARRRRRRRRHGGHHHHHHHHHHHGFFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCCCK

Goodness Gracious Meme

14:32 / 10.10.05

Nina: you should be ok, according to doctor relative, it's only contagious when you're not displaying symptoms, and I was feeling pretty rough from when I was at yours. Basically, sis and I think someone brought it to the family meet and infected us all w/it.

If you do get it, I apologise hugely and will come and make soup for you.

Tryphena Absent

14:57 / 10.10.05

Well I didn't score 38 on the Observer's hypochondria test for nothing.

Goodness Gracious Meme

15:09 / 10.10.05

Also, you may for future reference, assume that if I think I may have given you a noxious disease, I'll let you know pretty sharpish. Spoke to cuz, and he said it's extremely unlikley.

Tryphena Absent

15:25 / 10.10.05

Well that seemed likely but the thing about hypochondria is that even though you're aware the possibilities are slim you still think you're going to be struck down by [insert illness] at any moment. My stomach is aching right now. I may be hungry, I may be in the first stages of ***gastric flu*** we can only wait and see (my brain tells me I am hungry, my heart is screaming !!!ILL!!!). Will let you know if you have given it to me anyway. Possibly by making sick noises down the phone at you. Like Bleeeuuurrgghhhh.

15:27 / 10.10.05

Meme Once carried gorgeous ceramic bowl in hand luggage all the way from Bulgaria (OK, I didn't exactly walk back to Leeds, but you know) only to drop bag getting out of taxi outside my house. Fantastic. Was so cross insisted on superglueing fragments back together, and is still being used as fruit bowl to this day, so not absolutely grrr. Don't suppose your pyrex is retrievable????

Goodness Gracious Meme

15:28 / 10.10.05

Maenad: that sounds *far* more infuriating to me. Garghh.

And no, shards it was, and binned it now is. humph

Goodness Gracious Meme

15:30 / 10.10.05

and apols, i prolly owe you email from ages, am hectic and messy atm. Sometime soon?

Less searchable M0rd4nt

09:19 / 12.10.05

I'M SURROUNDED BY FUCKING MORONS!

10:02 / 12.10.05

Kittens.

10:43 / 12.10.05

Maenad: The EXACT same thing happened to me, except that it we'd brought our china bowl back from London and dropped the bag at the bus stop at the airport back in Boston.

Still pisses me off, twelve years later. I think it is part of the human condition that one can never have the fruit bowl that one most desires.

Not in the Face

11:46 / 12.10.05

For the terminally stupid - a booking conformation is when a speaker is confirmed as booked to speak. It is not a telephone conversation that ends 'and we'll get back to you' 4 months before the event.

Even worse, and this is what makes me angry - you lied about it to my face for 3 months and today is the day of the event!!

Less obtusely - the H&M Romeo and Juliet advert - http://www.hm.com/uk/start/start/index.jsp. I can't even vocalise what a turgid, shrieking, pile of advertising wank this is. And shown at cinemas - you can't even change the channel or hit mute. What makes me most angry is I am now too afraid to go and see Nightwatch just in case I see this again!

Hattie's Kitchen

12:16 / 12.10.05

I'm having a right bitch of a week, and to top it all, I got groped on the tube yesterday. I really really just want to go home and crawl under my duvet. Fuck off, world.

P. Horus Rhacoid

13:26 / 12.10.05

Fucking miniaturized plastic supermarket sporks! The tines are so short that half the time I try and pick something up (pasta, in this case), it just gets cut in half. And it's so damn small that it's taking me like an hour to eat a small container of food. Urgh! Fuck!

Goodness Gracious Meme

13:27 / 12.10.05

Oh fuck. Hattie, that's rubbish. Wanker

*straps on dungarees and big boots*

P. Horus Rhacoid

14:19 / 12.10.05

And I realize I now look like an insensitive prick for railing against the evils of sporks without reading the post directly preceding mine. You've got my sympathies, Hattie, that's fucking terrible. I hope something really indescribably good and cheering-up happens to you soon.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

14:57 / 12.10.05

Or indeed that the guy gets hit by a bus. Sorry to hear that, HK, that fucking sucks.

Hattie's Kitchen

14:59 / 12.10.05

Cheers dudes. The tube was rammed so I couldn't tell who had done it, but I did turn round and say very loudly that whoever had just put their hand on my arse would have their arm ripped off and shoved up their arse. So that made me feel better.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

15:02 / 12.10.05

And I could totally picture you making good on that threat, too!

Hattie's Kitchen

15:05 / 12.10.05

And threats like that always sound fucking hard when said with phlegmy Scouse accent.

Goodness Gracious Meme

15:28 / 12.10.05

Ha. That's wicked. Good for you.

Also: offer of dungareed bootstomping on hands of groper still stands.

Hattie's Kitchen

15:37 / 12.10.05

GGM: excellent, I'll pin him down and you can get medieval on his ass.

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