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Urgh! Fuck!: A thread for untamed hate and anger [PICS]

  
  

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grant
02:04 / 27.07.05
In real life, I don't have friends like you, or Stoatie, or like most of the other Barbeloids. I have friends that are more like Morpheus. If he lived nearby, I'd probably play cards with him.

1. All are Barbelites. Lithers. Whatevers.

2. Is this not real life?

----

Border's, by the way, does take an apostrophe. It was started by a guy named Border.

headsick. rage. punctuation.
 
 
fuckbaked
16:08 / 27.07.05
grant said: "1. All are Barbelites. Lithers. Whatevers.

2. Is this not real life?"

Yes, whatever the fuck they are.....I should get to my whining of "but everyone on Barbelith hates me", but I don't have it in me right now. Anyway, everyone on Barbelith has been nice to me lately....

And no, this is not real life. It's sitting somewhere, alone, using a computer, etc. If this were real life, we'd all be at a party, and you guys would be over there dancing and I'd be sitting over here, chain smoking until the party ends, and then I'd go home and I'd be alone again (except there would be no Barbelith to go to, because you'd all be in real life). Well, ok I'd probably get drunk and annoy the hell out of all of you before the party ended, but you know what I'm talking about...

so let's see, my options are...

"Have you considered castration?"

"Or a long-term relationship?"

"Or marriage?"

"How's about a serious drug habit?"

Well, I've briefly considered medical ways of getting rid of my horniness, but I'd be quite concerned if I were to have surgery or something like. I just don't want to mess up my body. It's not even the horniness I want to get rid of, really, it's my desire to have sex with other people that I want to get rid of. I like masturbating, and I don't want to stop doing that. I just want to stop being interested in other people in that way.

Also, I don't have balls, so I can't get castrated. from what little googling I've done on the subject... well, what could I do? Get a hysterectomy? Then I'd have to take hormones, wouldn't I? And I'd have to try to convince a doctor to give me a hysterectomy when I have no need for it, just to get rid of my sex drive, which seems unlikely (and expensive). So, what else is there? Depo-provera shots would supposedly work if I had balls. They're used as birth control for females, so I suspect they either wouldn't work, or I'd need to take more than women who use it as birth control to be able to get the horniness-suppressing effect. But depo-provera will fuck with my bones, and I'd also still have the problem of getting a doctor to prescribe it ('no doc, I don't want birth control. I want to stop feeling horney...').

"Or a long-term relationship?"

"Or marriage?"

Interesting. I'd try this, but to do so I'd have to find someone to be in a long term relationship with. If that were possible, I probably wouldn't want to get rid of my sex drive.

"How's about a serious drug habit?"

Well, I'm a bit displeased with my current drug habits, and I'm trying to avoid picking up new ones. And, ya know, I've known people with serious drug habits before who still had sex drives. Which drug(s) are you talking about, specifically?

----

Sorry. I just...I need to have better control of myself...think before I speak and all that, so that I can pretend I'm asexual. It doesn't get rid of the "feeling sad and rejected" part, but it would be better than the current situation.
 
 
ibis the being
21:51 / 27.07.05
First the landlady says the dog can't go potty in the front yard anymore, because even though we pick up the poop, evidently microscopic pieces are left behind. Fine. Next the dog can't go in the front yard at all. FINE. FUCK. FINE.

Now, today it is eighty fucking billion degrees outside, ninety fucking billion degrees in the apartment, and since sitting in the AC'd bedroom for hours on end was getting a teeny bit INSANE for both me and the dog, we went to sit in the backyard. I was slouched in a chair, peacefully reading a book. He was lounging on the grass, peacefully chewing a leaf.

"IS HE ON THE GRASS? HE CAN'T BE ON THE GRASS!" from up high, her 2nd floor window.

"Uh. Oh. I thought you just meant the front yard...."

"THE FRONT YARD, THE BACK YARD, IT'S ALL THE SAME HE CAN'T BE ON THE GRASS!"

Uh. Ok. I guess we'll go back in the steaming fucking hot house.

FUCK YOU! WHYYYYY THE FUUUUUCK did you tell us we could get a dog if the dog is not allowed to be anywhere ever and now we can't even sit in the backyard THAT YOU NEVER EVEN SET FOOT ON AAAAND MY ROOMMATE FUCKING MOWS & GROOMS!!!! Aaaaaaaagh fucking bitch.

I mean, this lady is actually a fucking loony bird which we only just figured out after living here a year. And I'm really sorry, but too fucking pissed to care right now, if I'm being discompassionate toward the mentally ill but maybe severely paranoid schizophrenics SHOULDN'T BE LANDLADIES. I feel like I'm being monitored all the time. And the sweetest part is she only complains to ME, and leaves my (male) roommates alone, and it is driving out of my fucking tree.
 
 
Spaniel
06:17 / 28.07.05
if I'm being discompassionate toward the mentally ill but maybe severely paranoid schizophrenics SHOULDN'T BE LANDLADIES

No they bloody shouldn't. Fraely Boyce used to have a loony landlord who offered to populate the flat with prostitutes , you know, as a mutually beneficial business venture. The guy also used to come round and wank in Fraely's living room.

Nice.

Ibis, easy to say I know, but I suggest you move out.
 
 
Haus of Mystery
08:30 / 28.07.05
Let's not forget that said landlord also decided to toughen up after a mugging, Batman style, by wearing roller blades everywhere and dragging a sandbag back home to use as a punchbag.
 
 
Harrison Ford, in a battle suit, wheels for feet, knives and guns
09:43 / 28.07.05
Hey Ibis this sounds like a nightmare.

As the landlady told you that you could have a dog & being that you rent from here and inhabit areas of her property, then the dog, that she allowed, is also entitled to share the same areas, unless previously stated by the landlady.
Try telling her that the dog, if not allowed outside is taking to going to the toilet in a litter tray in your flat, which is in turn stinking the place out. Also tell her that keeping the dog inside will make it go insane and may cause him to continuously bark, thus keeping her awake at night. Try explaining to her that birds, foxes, bugs and a huge variety of other animals shit in her garden, however the dog is the only one who has someone to clean up after it.
I'd suggest playing on the fact that restricting the dog will cause it distress and will intern cause your landlady distress for the aforementioned reason.
If this fails try starving your dog for a few days then sticking a string of tasty pork sausages up your landladies arse and letting the dog lunch!!
My mother is a letting agent so if you need any advise on the legal situation PM me and i'll be happy to seek her advice on your behalf.
 
 
Ganesh
09:55 / 28.07.05
... maybe severely paranoid schizophrenics SHOULDN'T BE LANDLADIES

Maybe anyone with a disorder which intermittently affects their judgement shouldn't be in a position of power over others? Any suggestions as to how such a situation might be enforced?

(Assuming it's clear that this individual has indeed been diagnosed with schizophrenia, and is not paranoid for other reasons...).
 
 
Spaniel
10:11 / 28.07.05
Ibis is American, Harry.
 
 
Harrison Ford, in a battle suit, wheels for feet, knives and guns
11:17 / 28.07.05
Fair do's Boboss. Can't help with the lagalities then Ibis. Sorry.

Can probably help with the pork treats for your landladies arse though!!!
 
 
ibis the being
19:26 / 28.07.05
Ibis, easy to say I know, but I suggest you move out.

We're considering it, and it's not impossible... but the crunch is this place is HUGE and really really nice for the price. I don't know if we could find a comparable space, crazy landlady aside, particularly with a young pup in tow.

Harrison, you make several excellent points. The trouble is, it's no use arguing rationally with someone who's not living in reality. My boyfriend tried to nicely persuade her to see things our way, but she countered with nutty accusations that we'd "tricked" her and been sneaking the dog into the yard while she went away for weekends (um, no).

And it's sweet of you to offer assistance, but as pointed out, we're in the US. I don't think we have a legal leg to stand on anyway. When our 1-yr lease ran out we agreed to a tenant-at-will arrangement, and have no lease at all.

Maybe anyone with a disorder which intermittently affects their judgement shouldn't be in a position of power over others? Any suggestions as to how such a situation might be enforced?

Well, enforced? - no, probably not. But we got this place through a real estate agent who plays darts with my boyfriend. I would hope that if he'd heard from previous tenants that this landlady appeared to be schizophrenic, he would have told us. I plan to ask him to advise any future tenants. She's a really nice lady in many ways, and I don't wish to bankrupt her, but it should be taken into advisement before you lease a place that the owner is prone to fantasy (putting it mildly).

Frankly, I don't know for sure if she is a paranoid schizophrenic. That's just my opinion based on her behavior and words. She's told us some pretty kooky things, like how the guy who owns the gas station on the corner used to sneak into her house and rape her until she got an alarm system, and he also works for the sanitation dept and makes sure all the garbage men dump her trash in the street (been here a year, never seen that happen). How her husband, on his deathbed, tried to kill her. How her disabled daughter, in a nursing home, was raped and impregnanted by a nurse, and the home gave her an abortion and covered it up in a big conspiracy. Most recently, when my boyfriend told her how the next door neighbor loves our dog, she said triumphantly, "Well, I'll tell you something you don't know! She's my sister!"
 
 
Tryphena Absent
19:34 / 28.07.05
I suggest you stop mowing the lawn or looking after the yard at all and if she's says anything tell her that you don't use it because the dog can't go into the yard.

Actually that's probably a bad idea, I'm just feeling vindictive.
 
 
grant
21:06 / 28.07.05
You *could* call the social services, but that might wind up not being great for you, if the heirs/caretakers decide to sell the place off or evict you.

Of course, the way it sounds, social services will get involved eventually anyway.

The old lady who lives across the canal from my family tells similar stories -- I think it's a combination of senile dementia and loneliness. Desperate for attention, kooky enough not to know what stories are appropriate to make up.
 
 
Benny the Ball
21:09 / 28.07.05
Panic panic panic, cock knocking twat fuckers, two cameras, four pages of dialogue, wide and tights, lit like a fucking football pitch, tell me I have to compromise my sound you lazy bald double alamony more bothered with chatting up costume birds than telling me when you're gonna change the shot, pot bellied mid-life crisis twat.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
21:44 / 28.07.05
I would call social services anyway, now I've stopped being totally unreasonably vindictive and trying to talk you into a war that would devolve into tears every night. Like grant said it sounds like they'll get involved eventually anyway or if she does have a daughter and she's ever around you could try to talk to her?
 
 
paranoidwriter waves hello
23:32 / 28.07.05
OK, I need to get this off my chest: I f**king hate "Hypocrisy"!!!!!!!!!!

It's a word/subject I've been chewing over for a few years now, and the more I think about it the more I realise it is a major cause of a lot of our species' problems. I'm thinking: Tony Blair talking about terrorists while endorsing military violence; terroists killing their own whilst believing they're "saving" their own; parents smacking a child for being violent; my poor Father telling me off for smoking when I was a teenager, a cigar poking out at a right angle from the base of his wagging finger; etc, etc, etc.

And of course, what's worse is when I realise that I'm a filthy hypocrite too.... Urgh! F**king spirals within spirals....

Grrrr.......
 
 
Tryphena Absent
02:47 / 30.07.05
What the fuck was I going on about in that thread?
 
 
ibis the being
11:50 / 30.07.05
I would call social services anyway, now I've stopped being totally unreasonably vindictive and trying to talk you into a war that would devolve into tears every night. Like grant said it sounds like they'll get involved eventually anyway or if she does have a daughter and she's ever around you could try to talk to her?

Do you really think social services is going to get involved? I'd never thought of it. I mean, she's not exactly a raving maniac... she just casually brings up conspiracy theories in conversation. I'm not sure she's doing anything to warrant intervention, other than depriving my dog of a grassy knoll to lounge on, which to me is reprehensible of course, but to the authorities probably not so much. Actually the kind of thing I worry about, not to sound totally paranoid myself, is that she'll someday accuse one of us of theft or something, or since she's got this apparent fixation on rape, convince herself that one of my (male) roommates attacked her (God forbid). I don't know if she has any children living, she told us something like two are dead and one doesn't speak to her anymore, but who knows what's true. I'm dying to know if the neighbor really is her sister??

My boyfriend and I have been casually browsing apt listings, but we probably won't move anytime soon, because among other reasons it would mean forcing out roommate to move too, and that seems a bit too drastic at this point.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
12:59 / 30.07.05
I think that these things creep in slowly and you can't be certain but you never know... she claimed that her daughter had been raped, that's not something you drop into casual conversation, true or not. It undernotes a basic, odd instability and unless you know someone's personal history you don't know what that translates into when it gets bad. This could be bad or it could be as normal as she gets or it could be a midway point. I'd say wait and see, if you think she's starting to behave more weirdly then move out.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
13:51 / 30.07.05
Nina speaks the truth. CHill out, but keep a bag packed, and all that. (Oh, and don't feed her to your dog- legally, the dog always comes off worst in situations like this, and you wouldn't want such an adorable pooch taking the rap).

Now. Where to begin? Oh fuck it.
Yes, I can clearly understand why I get the nice phone calls asking me out for a beer and you get the nasty ones. OK. The guy moved out TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO, expecting to get his deposit back. I gave him my half, and kind of expected you to do the same, what with having told me (and him) that that was the plan. Having found out (a year fucking later) that you didn't (and didn't fucking tell ME either, resulting in him being pissed off with me as well cos he didn't know WHERE the money came from and figured we'd both just given him half each) I offer to give him some extra cash, seeing as how you haven't given him ANY, and "we" as an entity both owed him the whole lot JOINTLY, as far as he's concerned. Therefore YOU have stiffed him on a bunch of cash for, like, ages, and I'm giving him money I don't actually owe him because I figure it's his by right. Therefore it's none too surprising that he's still mates with me (and, may I add, somewhat reluctant to take my money) but a leeetle bit pissed off with you.

I understand all this. And it pisses me off that you don't, and keep telling me what a cunt you think the guy's being for having "double standards".

Oh, and you WILL owe me for the extra cash I'm giving him, if and when he takes it. Add it to the fucking bill.
 
 
ibis the being
17:54 / 30.07.05
Blecch, roommates - when they're good they're good, when they're bad they're a freaking nightmare.

I have to update the landlady situation - it's not hate & anger so much as hilarious, but perhaps the thread could do with some comic relief.

Boyfriend and I chatted up the neighbor as she was walking by and we were outside. Turns out she IS the landlady's sister (holy crap, could all the rest be true??). The neighbor - who by the way is just the nicest old lady - sort of gave us the scoop on her sister, that no one in the family can get along with her and she loses all her friends too. She didn't want to get specific on anything she'd done, but it sufficed to say Landlady has what Neighbor called "the attitude." They also have a brother local (they're all from Ireland) and Landlady has three daughters and seven grandchildren nearby, none of whom she ever sees. Interestingly enough, Neighbor kept glancing nervously up at our house and saying, "oh, if she hears me telling you this she'll kill me...."

But anyway, the neighbor told us this story that was so funny I was crying laughing and just about falling down. You have to try to imagine this soft little Irish voice telling it....

She used to have a collie named Prince. She said I didn't like it, but that's because it bit me. So one day she rings everyone to say Prince has died. I went over to the house and there he is on the floor - dead, not just dead, he's stiff! So I said we've got to take him to Angell Memorial or something. She said, fine, well just wrap him up in his blanket, he's got his own blanket you know. So I wrapped him up in his blanket and she says, "no, not over his face, it'll smother him." I said, "smother him, he's DEAD! Dead, dead, DEAD!" But okay, it'll smother him, so I leave his face out. Then I have to walk into the animal hospital with him and I walk up to the window and they go, "oh, what's wrong with him?" I say, "he's dead!" But she's standing right next to me, you know, so I can't say anything - they must have thought I was crazy...."

Ah, God, the funniest thing I've heard in ages.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
17:48 / 02.08.05
Murdering racist bastards. I know that's generally a no-brainer, but I just found out that the guy who was axed to death up North was my friend's cousin. Understandably, she's... none too good at the moment.

I'm also angry with myself for not being so angry when I didn't realise it affected anyone I know.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
13:50 / 04.08.05
Basically ARRRGGGHHHH ARRRGGGHHHH ARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHH. Where is my army?
 
 
odd jest on horn
14:01 / 04.08.05
FUCK!!! FUCK!!! fuckwads! Stupid fucking bastards. How dare they hire someone who's not me?

ASSHOLES.

Helvítisdjöfulsinsdrusluandskoti.

That is all.
 
 
Sean the frumious Bandersnatch
16:11 / 04.08.05
Was that how you conducted yourself in the interview? Because then I have a guess.
 
 
Ganesh
16:43 / 04.08.05
Frankly, I don't know for sure if she is a paranoid schizophrenic.

I guess I'm being a little defensive here because any paranoid-and-antisocial behaviour tends to get bracketed with schizophrenia - when it could well be the case that the lady in question suffers from an organic condition (the beginnings of dementia, say) or paranoid personality disorder.
 
 
*
18:40 / 04.08.05
[threadrot] Odd jest— Could I have a translation for that word? It looks lovely. [/threadrot]
 
 
Cat Chant
16:37 / 06.08.05
AAARGH.

I'm transcribing a COMPLETELY STUPID event in which five top academics sit in a room talking about Vermeer, because one of the conveners thinks it's going to be of publishable quality, DESPITE THE FACT that it mostly consists of people fighting over the content of paintings (which I can't see, because it's audio) and saying things like "Do you see the little doggie?"*

Anyway. It is PURE HELL to transcribe, due to the fact that it's a badly-miked and totally unscripted conversation with (apparently) no-one chairing, so that people are either inaudible, talking over each other, or doing that thing which people do in conversation of trailing off because they can see someone nodding vigorously, or changing direction in mid-sentence because someone's giving them a dubious look. Add one extremely heavy Parisian accent, one moderate Dutch accent, and a tendency of people to refer to events, paintings and scholars with foreign names which I don't know and therefore don't recognize, and you get a transcription experience EVEN WORSE than when I transcribed the Ibadan event (from which at least I picked up a few words of Yoruba and learned a shitload about 1960s West African theatre. I haven't learned anything from this except that in one of Vermeer's paintings, there used to be a little doggie which he later painted over.)

Oh I hate it I hate it I hate it, and now I am additionally frustrated at not being able to convey THE DEPTH of my rage.

*Quite literally. Thanks for that, Leading Vermeer Expert.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
21:09 / 10.08.05
That fucking advert for some car where the little boys come over all Jeremy Clarkson and pretend to be creepily aged parental units. Kill kill kill. And kill them again, just to make sure.
 
 
Bear
21:23 / 10.08.05
Awww Xoc's tired.....
 
 
Mourne Kransky
22:32 / 10.08.05
Tired and emotional... Still in killing mode!
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
22:46 / 10.08.05
Still. No Craig. No more Craig ever.
 
 
pear
08:53 / 11.08.05
Heh, until he gets his chat show. Which will be beamed directly into your brain.
 
 
Ganesh
20:27 / 11.08.05
If you're schizophrenic in Norfolk, possibly.
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
09:27 / 12.08.05
Many 'thanks' to Scrubb for bringing this to my attention:

Chav

Not ironic, just moronic. He actually suggests people go check out the C*** Sc** website.

Bring me my rusty axe and faceknives.

Note that this dobbin sees fit to publicise his address.
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
09:40 / 12.08.05
Deva, were I able to do so, I'd be happy to listen to your Vermeer tape and point out the difference between Doggie (wtf?) and Dordrecht.

Hoping this will be of some use: Vermeer Glossary.

You might also want to check yr library for a copy of The Grove Dictionary of Art, Vol 2(I think):From Rembrandt to Vermeer: 17th-Century Dutch Artists. Ed. Jane Turner, St Martin's Press, 2000. Wonderful resource, somwehere between a simple a/h dictionary and a critical study, full of the terms/proper nouns you're trying to decipher
 
  

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