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Conflict and complaint thread

 
  

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ONLY NICE THINGS
16:55 / 02.10.06
Well, grant, I'm not sure what you mean by "if necessary", unless you are thinking PW might be banned in the intervening 24 hours, which seems unlikely if he manages to stay off the board. You're also not recapping what's going to happen. You're recapping what PW says is going to happen. If a new thread is started, or people are kind enough to repost their questions _again_ in this thread, then they are doing it as a favour, as far as I can tell. The "with respect" proviso is pretty much without meaning - PW has so far used the term, I think, exclusively with respect to what people who do not agree with him are lacking, and thus as a justification for offensive behaviour (what we migth as well call "trolling"). On the other hand, lots of people have already asked PW questions, and it doesn't seem entirely fair that they don't get answers because they are not willing to repost them, ppossibly interpolating whatever we think might signify respect.

I'd be more comfortable if every question asked so far and not answered, or answered incomprehensibly, were collected and collated into a single post, and then anyone who wished to add supplementary questions could apppend them to that. it's more work, but it's more democratic.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
16:55 / 02.10.06
Do we really want to resolve this? Could we not just ban him? I mean, wouldn't that be more fun?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
17:02 / 02.10.06
Speaking seriously, there's never been a case, to my knowledge, in which someone has gone this far and come back. We're talking about a heroic battle for the boy's soul, here, before we even decide on the format it should follow. I really can't believe we've managed to get to this pass so quickly. If we do decide to ban, I think it should be without anger, as far as possible, and in recognition of it being, ultimately, impossible for what PW wants from the board to be provided by the board, and thus with the aim of minimising his suffering. I will be very sad to see this end in separation, but we have to consider that it may be the least worst option for all concerned.

So, format. Is everyone happy to re-ask their questions here or in a new thread, about 6-7pm Barbelith time tomorrow? Or does anyone want to leave the questions as they are and request PW to answer anything with a question mark in sequence? or should we do a collation?
 
 
Tryphena Absent
17:09 / 02.10.06
I think it would be best to collate the questions in one post.
 
 
Spaniel
17:24 / 02.10.06
Only just got up to speed with this.

I too share Haus's reservations abput doing this entirely on PW's terms - he's made far too many demands of this board already - but I think a ceasefire could be the best of a bad bunch of options.

I don't want to ban PW, but, at the rate he's going he's going to force my hand.
 
 
Spaniel
17:24 / 02.10.06
Oh yeah, I like your suggestions Haus.
 
 
Feverfew
17:41 / 02.10.06
Having followed this today, I have to say that I agree with AdL - although it may be seen by some as appeasement, a single thread with all the questions people would like paranoidwriter to answer would, by my opinion, be the best route. It may seem like interrogation, but it removes the problem of possible avoidance of the issue by laying everthing out starkly and simply, piece by piece.

It would be preferable if it were one thread of questions with links to every post or thread that brought all this on, but that might be a labour of love or enmity that might bring on it's own problems.
 
 
Lurid Archive
17:42 / 02.10.06
Well, I'm not sure that answering the questions here are all that important. At least, I would be happy with a changed attitude and some indication of some self awareness. Also, it can be a little hard on a poster to answer questions from so many people, and the effect may be rather negative if we insist on that.
 
 
Feverfew
17:53 / 02.10.06
I do agree with you on the perceived possibility of negativity.

However, one of the central issues to this entire 'Bindweed' problem is that people see PW as not answering any questions or responding properly to issues he should be engaging with.

I don't think a thread of many different people posting single questions would help - but I do think a collation of all the different questions would help PW respond in a cogent manner and preferably prevent possible straying.

The other problem I would forsee is that this would then, in effect, become "The Bindweed Trial of Paranoidwriter", and would effectively force him onto the back foot, and onto the defensive. Unless he were involved from the very beginning, with what could be termed "neutral parties", i.e. people who have followed the debate but not posted to either 'side', it could get messy, and that's not something anyone wants.

Am I making sense?
 
 
illmatic
18:05 / 02.10.06
I'm with Anna.

Completely disinterested in restating any questions to PW beyond "Will you please fucking go away, now". I'm entitely against starting a new thread. Stick with this one. It's all about him, anyway. As far as I'm concerned, the onus is on him, to convince the other 30 or so people who've criticised him that he's a reasonable human being, not for us to suddenly start showing "respect". Respect is earnt, as is contempt, and PW has defintively tipped the scales a certain way.

At least, I would be happy with a changed attitude and some indication of some self awareness.

It would be nice, but let's be honest, it's not going to happen is it? Not one smidgen of an apology has issued forth so far. At the very least, we'll be back in this position in under a fortnight.
 
 
Spaniel
18:32 / 02.10.06
Starting another thread would be rather absurd. We've devoted enough space to this nonsense. I say collate any questions here.

PW, I really hope you see fit to respond to people sans your recent opacity, bizarre deconstructive flourishes, and odd demands. A bit of clear, concise straight talking is pretty much baseline required if you're to stand any chance of winning me, and I suspect many others, over.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
18:37 / 02.10.06
So, let's get the questions together to give boyo a chance not to be a tosser, whack them in this thread and delete anything anyone says after the questions have been stuck here. Otherwise what's the frickin point of collating them anyhow?
 
 
Seth
19:22 / 02.10.06
So, format. Is everyone happy to re-ask their questions here or in a new thread, about 6-7pm Barbelith time tomorrow? Or does anyone want to leave the questions as they are and request PW to answer anything with a question mark in sequence? or should we do a collation?

Definitely the latter option.

It seems to me that paranoidwriter's request for people to post their questions was pretty much like spitting in the hand that Tom offered him. Mutual respect was suggested, the response to which was a self-serving way forward for one that would ignore the huge amount of well-expressed issues already raised.

This thread has already been devoted to people expressing what they think of paranoidwriter and his posting style (for the most part respectfully), and there's nothing to be gained from people repeating themselves at length.

Personally I'm for an outright ban with immediate effect. To my mind PW has already blown the opportunity that Tom offered with his last post. My two-cents is that the important thing is to get PW off the board ASAP. If he still wants to communicate with us in the hope that he'll be let back in then maybe he could send emails or put something up on a public webpage that we could all read and assess. In short, my vote is for banning now and for PW to show contrition in his own time and space, somewhere other than Barbelith.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
19:32 / 02.10.06
Not sure if it makes any difference, but Dix-Neuf and Pegs have said more or less what I would have. We've been here enough times in the past to be able to make a fair crack at predicting what happens from this point onwards if he remains on the board, I'd have thought.
 
 
The Falcon
20:33 / 02.10.06
Also agreed; I'm beginning to think there's an element of interacting with posters who (we suspect) are mentally unwell here, but in the end it'd be a mercy for the board and the poster to see an end to it. It'd certainly be a mercy to me.
 
 
Tom Coates
21:29 / 02.10.06
Let me repeat what I said. PW needs to re-engage with the discussion in a serious way openly, honourably and with some humility. I think it is his responsibility to do so.

I think the most sensible way for him to do so is to go over a good proportion of the major comments and questions that have been previously posted in this thread and respond to them appropriately. In the places that he thinks he's gone over the top, he needs to apologise for that. In the places where he feels that he has a justifiable grievance, he needs to state that grievance dispassionately, clearly and back it up with evidence. It does not need to be perfect. We do not all need to agree with the conclusions that he comes to. I think we simply need to be convinced that he's prepared to seriously attempt to engage with the discussion without duplicity or trolling.

If he does manage to apologise for the things he feels he has done wrong and create a reasonable case for the things he does not feel he has done wrong, then I think it is then up to the rest of the board to take this at face value and attempt to continue the discussion with the same level of reason and clarity, with the ideal situation being that we can move on from this sorry debacle. If this is not possible, or if it clear that his response is massively inadequate, then we'll look towards alternatives. Paranoid Writer, the ball is in your court - you can pull this one out of the fire if you want.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
22:03 / 02.10.06
I was trying to express something similar, but you beat me to it, Tom. I think perhaps it would be best if PW addressed the questions he has already been asked, and then anyone who feels that their question was ignored or not answered in a satisfactory way can raise that. Does that sound workable? It does mean that PW doesn't get the questions posed again in a more respectful manner to start with, but hopefully if he deals with the first batch in a respectful manner, a virtuous cycle can be created in which people are then minded to flag up their own questions more respectfully.
 
 
Ganesh
22:41 / 02.10.06
Paranoid Writer: I like to think I get on okay with you, and that you're able to trust me not to be adding my comment here for malicious reasons, personality clashes or because I want to 'gang up' on you. I've actually been doing a re-e-easonable job of taking a Barbe-sabbatical myself, and this is the first time in weeks I've returned to post more than a couple of lines. I'm not hugely happy about that.

I think you're being an arse in this thread, consistently rubbing people up the wrong way. Perhaps this is partly because you're feeling backed into a corner; at this point, it's largely immaterial. You're responding too hastily, too flippantly and too dismissively to people who don't deserve that from you. As has been said upthread, if nothing else, the sheer number of posters commenting here ought to trigger a degree of recognition on your part - and, ideally, self-reflection.

I know you have a problem with posting too much too often when you should be stepping back. Taking 24 hours away is a good move, but, personally, I think you need longer to reread and reflect without responding. If you want me to hold your password for a week or two (or, even better, a month or two), I'll happily do that. PM me.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
01:32 / 03.10.06
I took pw off ignore, where he's been for a while now, to waste my evening reading these threads. Man, fuck paranoidwriter.

I see no cause for mercy. I for one will be pretty unhappy if he returns and, with his characteristic bellyscraping, ekes out an apology "we" can manage to swallow. Like, in my opinion a person can get away with skirting the topic if they are at least funny; and if they're not funny they should at least be interesting. But pw appears incapable of even that slight degree of fellow-feeling. Our usual style of argument has pumped pw full of bewildering fury, but at least this is entertaining in an obsessive-compulsive way. If it blows over, I fear he will revert to his meritless, self-obsessed, off-topic mush, as for instance here, which, in my own experience, is worse than his shouting in Policy. I mean, I hear you on the bindweed thing but also I feel that a lot of you guys like to fight, and this is the best place for it. But the pall pw casts over ordinary conversation calls for some wicked fierce shunning. Shun with extreme prejudice.
 
 
ghadis
02:48 / 03.10.06
Qalyn, I don't really think it's fair to bring up PWs post in the Temples 'My Religious Backstory' thread. PWs post in that thread is no better or worse or intersting or shit than anyone elses. Having spent a lot of the day catching up on the PW story it is obvious that the Policy is where PW is coming undone. In a very painful, humiliating, way. I don't think we need to go much further than that in this thread.

For what it's worth, i'm not up for any banning at the moment. But i am into PW going away and getting his shit together, because he has acted like a total dickhead in many threads recently, and coming back, having thought about it, with some apoligies which, i think are needed, and maybe becoming a worthwhile barbelith person.

A long shot maybe. Also because its quite a hard thing for a person to do. We'll see...
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
02:51 / 03.10.06
I don't agree.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
03:05 / 03.10.06
Okay, sorry. I will try to rephrase without so much of the disgust.

Some time ago, we had the idea that a person could accumulate a certain amount of "troll credit" or something to that effect--that they could generate goodwill through contentful interaction with the board and, if they got a bee in their bonnet about something, "the board" would forgive them. For example, I have behaved trollishly toward Flyboy and toward Ibis. I'm not proud of it, but there it is. I hope my "troll debt" has been forgiven because I am generally an okay poster--eg, generally interesting, amusing and/or insightful. For another example, Vladimir J. Baptiste's inappropriateness outstripped his useful contributions to Comics, Conversation, and/or Policy, and he was banned. For my money, pw has not earned any grace. In my opinion--and this is me "reading people's minds"--certain people are willing to extending him credit he doesn't deserve because periodically he begs them to.

I guess my argument is more asthetic than ethical.
 
 
ghadis
03:07 / 03.10.06
If it blows over, I fear he will revert to his meritless, self-obsessed, off-topic mush, as for instance here, which, in my own experience, is worse than his shouting in Policy

-linking to PWs very ON TOPIC post-

See, this shit doesn't help, sorry Qalyn, but that is bollocks. PWs post was as self-obsessed and as on-topic as any other post in that thread. Being self-obsessed was kind of the point! It was a thread where people talked about their religious upbringing.

Like i said, i'm pissed of with PW. To be honest, he annoys the hell out of me somtimes, and recently he, for some bizzare reason he has, and he has, become a Troll. But i think that hopefully he can sort this out.
 
 
ghadis
03:10 / 03.10.06
That was x-possed with your last Q...I'm thinking
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
03:13 / 03.10.06
Dude. That post said nothing about his "religious backstory". Everyone else made an earnest attempt to describe how their lives were informed by religion or lack thereof. PW brushed very vaguely on some of his impressions of his parents' and gra...

You know, whatever. This is a digression. Ban, I'm saying. Ban.
 
 
ghadis
03:26 / 03.10.06
I guess my argument is more asthetic than ethical.

Well, i think we maybe agree on that. I feel the same. PWs posts often make me cringe, more than watching the fucking Office or an injured dog in the road. Quite painful sometimes. But not a banning offence. But i can deal with that and some of hir posts i really like. But the recent posts in Policy have been bonkers. Really annoying and really nuts. There has been a change in the posting style which is quite baffling. It's gone Troll-like and unless PW sorts some of this out, i'd say ban him too. But i think give him a bit of time.
 
 
ghadis
03:34 / 03.10.06
Dude. That post said nothing about his "religious backstory".

Yea, ok, reading it again i get your point. But still, i think that sort of posting from hir is irrelevent to this thread. But i do get your point Q.
 
 
Seth
05:45 / 03.10.06
My issue with Tom's perspective is that I think we've already adequately done what Tom's asking us to do in this thread. Indeed, this thread was set up for the conflict with paranoidwriter to be resolved and dealt with.

Many people posted respectful and detailed accounts of their issues, all of which were ignored and responded to with bizarre behaviour and a general refusal to acknowledge anything raised. PW then appealed directly to you, Tom, and asked what you thought about this thread and the issues raised.

This sets a dangerous precendent. If the only person that PW will respect enough to listen to here is Tom Coates then we have a problem that is highly unlikely to be resolved by anything that paranoid writer says here. I also think that respect is too strong a word from PW's previous behaviour: it's more likely to be toadying to the only person here with any actual power to take action in a manner than won't grossly distort the board.

I also think the fact that it is Tom himself who offers PW this one last chance acts as a validatation PW's seeming assumption that there is only one person on here worth listening to. Even in the act of seeming to obey Tom's wish to go away and come at people's issues with a fresh face and willingness to engage he pretty much states that he will not be responding to what various posters had already eloquently and respectfully raised since the start of this thread: simultaneously doing the minimum that the Powerful One has asked while sticking his middle finger up at the rest.

Now I know that everyone on Barbelith is toothless. paranoidwriter knows it. Tom is not toothless; he's just absent. This situation could only really happen on a board with this kind of set up. It is not a good set up and I don't think that this is the last time that this kind of situation will raise its head. So let's be careful what kind of message we want to send now.

Tom, I think we've already done what you're asking us to do. I respect that no-one likes to make banning decisions and that you want to make doubly sure that it's necessary before doing so. I submit that you have everything you need already in this thread, and to act as if you don't goes too far towards acknowledging that there's only one person worth listening to on Barbelith. I acknowledge that there is no consensus here to ban outright at this time, but when has Barbelith ever managed to reach a consensus on anything?

I'm convinced that paranoidwriter's presence here is good for neither him nor the board. But it's not that point I'm arguing here.

The point I'm putting to everyone now has much more to do with the lack of the constant presence of administrators with the power to do anything other than move, modify or remove specific posts and topics. The consequences of that dynamic are illustrated quite graphically in this thread. What do we do about it? What can be done about it?
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
07:51 / 03.10.06
What would be really helpful is if we can avoid arguing amongst one another about how terrible it is that different people have different limits and tolerences for what they will or won't accept.

I used to enjoy PWs contribution to Barbelith so my perspective has largely been "what happened?" there are others amongst you who never thought that so your perspective is different.
 
 
Evil Scientist
09:18 / 03.10.06
I would still rather see this situation resolved without a ban, but I respect that a lot of other members are feeling that they've been patient enough with PW and that it's time for him to go.

But perhaps an extended period away from the board would be the better route to go. PW, I personally think that you voluntarily leaving the board for a while might be a better result than you being banned. I strongly urge you to follow Ganesh's suggestion and lock yourself out of your suit for a while.

If you continue in the current style you are going to get yourself banned.

I personally don't see the point of starting a new thread, this one is fit for purpose.

My own suggestion is that the questions be framed in as neutral language as possible (channelling Wishy-Washy Scientist again I know). "Respectful" isn't really an appropriate term PW, polite is probably the best you're going to get.

Perhaps the questions can be collected by one person and posted a few at a time. If the questions are posted without referencing who asked it PW is less likely to be able to site personal grudges/lack of respect as a reason for ducking the questions?
 
 
Tom Coates
09:37 / 03.10.06
Let me be clear about the banning stuff. In several occasions in recent memory I have been asked to ban people and then received a fair amount of stick from other users for doing so without sufficient oversight from the board. The last couple of times, we've had way way way too much discussion and debate about the banning process with formal trials etc. In the end my role is pretty minor - I can delete people's accounts and stand a bit more impartial generally. This whole process is based on the assumption of being the last person to give someone a chance before being the person who will have to press the ban button. All - or at least the vast majority - of the decision-making about who stays or leaves is up to you guys, I just feel like I have some kind of executioner's prerogative to try and supply a last-minute space for a deathbed conversion. If it does come down to this kind of situation, then in the vasty majority of cases, the person will subsequently be expelled because they won't take the option presented to them. But I definitely think that people should still have it presented to them.
 
 
Ganesh
09:50 / 03.10.06
The issue, then, Tom, if you're leery of too much discussion and the formalised threads created for that purpose (a la ShadowSax) is how you think we should go about presenting that option - or even of working out that, as a community, we're at the point where banning a particular person should be a serious consideration. How, generally speaking, might this be presented in a way which limits 'unnecessary' discussion? I ask because, as the sole individual capable of offering a 'stay of execution', it could be argued that any discussion not involving you directly is "way way too much" discussion.
 
 
Tom Coates
10:08 / 03.10.06
I disagree. As far as I'm concerned normally the point at which I'm called in from the rest of the board registers at a point where it is more than likely that the largest proportion of the board who are participating in the discussion favour a ban. Certainly, I wouldn't generally get involved in these discussions until banning has been mooted at a non-minority level. The question then is about two things - making sure that the party concerned is not being unfairly picked upon and if they have not been, making sure that the board has sufficient consensus for the decision to not rip the place apart for months afterwards. In effect, both can be achieved by stating a clear way in which the user can stay if they wish, which if they choose to violate will keep the board in general consensus, where a significant change of approach might stay that execution.

The problem is, as you say, that at a certain level the banning process does all come down to me. Giving people other mechanisms for dealing with troublemakers has been discussed a lot in the past but has proven very difficult to implement with my limited programming skills. And in the circumstances, then, when it comes down to the final decision, people will take what I say more significantly because I'm the person who finally can perform the action. That I perform it only really when you guys ask me to is another matter.

Basically, if you think I've mishandled this one and should just ban the guy out of hand, and there's sufficient impetus behind that, then I'll do it. If you guys all change your mind and say that he shouldn't be censured at all, then I'll do that too. At the moment it looks like most of you want rid of him, but a few are less convinced. I proposed giving him a final opportunity to influence opinion in either direction, which seemed fair in the circumstances.
 
 
Ganesh
10:35 / 03.10.06
Tom, let me make it clear that my frustration here is not connected with ParanoidWriter, particularly. It's to do with what I see as a near-impossible situation with regard to the community and banning. When you say

As far as I'm concerned normally the point at which I'm called in from the rest of the board registers at a point where it is more than likely that the largest proportion of the board who are participating in the discussion favour a ban. Certainly, I wouldn't generally get involved in these discussions until banning has been mooted at a non-minority level.

I find it difficult to square that with the previous post in which you appear to characterising the individual 'Should X Be Banned' threads as "way way too much discussion". As the situation currently stands, you're the only person able to institute a ban, and one of the motivations behind the aforementioned threads was that, that being so, it ought to be established that the "largest proportion of the board" or a "non-minority" of posters actually do want X banned - as opposed to a vocal minority. Establishing this can be painful and protracted for all concerned, but in the current set-up, it must be done before you (and banning) can be invoked.

How, then, might this be achieved without "way way too much" discussion? This is a genuine question. In the case of ShadowSax, a slightly arbitrary seven-day limit was set. Should discussion be limited to a shorter frame? Should it happen behind the scenes, by PM? Should posters be allowed only one post each to state their opinion?

The difficulty with shorter time-frames is that you're not always available within hours or even days. The problem with PM discussions is lack of transparency (and this arose during the ShadowSax thing, when you solicited PM opinion, arguably undermining the on-board discussion). The problem with one-post-per-poster is that it's difficult to establish any sort of constructive dialogue with X (assuming constructive dialogue is what we're aiming for) and impossible to subsequently revise one's opinion.

Basically, if you think I've mishandled this one and should just ban the guy out of hand, and there's sufficient impetus behind that, then I'll do it. If you guys all change your mind and say that he shouldn't be censured at all, then I'll do that too. At the moment it looks like most of you want rid of him, but a few are less convinced. I proposed giving him a final opportunity to influence opinion in either direction, which seemed fair in the circumstances.

Inevitably, there's going to be difference of opinion, even among those choosing to join the Policy discussion (and these are, I think, a minority among those who regularly post on the board in general), so "sufficient impetus" and "looks like most of you" are inevitably going to be subjective judgements made by you.

I'm not throwing these up to be tricksy or argumentative. They're genuine flaws in any sort of banning process, and it's difficult to see a way around them when you're the only non-toothless one here, particularly if there's a cut-off where discussion becomes "way way too much" discussion. If discussion becomes lengthy, circular and exhausting, it's partly because, in your absence, it's all we have to address the situation.
 
 
pointless & uncalled for
10:38 / 03.10.06
At this stage, now that the final chance has been proposed and accepted, to pull that rug away would really constitute extreme fuckery.

We've already leveled at pw for "moving goalposts", do we really want to decend into crass hypocrisy in order to try and maintain order on the boards?
 
  

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