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Text Adventure Game Emulator #1

 
  

Page: 12345(6)7891011... 32

 
 
P. Horus Rhacoid
02:59 / 18.08.05
Take a photo of self with dancing bear while sharing a moment of uninhibited homoertocism.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
08:13 / 18.08.05
[Slow down, people! At least aim for one at a time!]

You enter the Dancing Bear Inn. As of yet, you see no actual bears.

You are standing in a lushly carpeted lobby area. There are doors to the West and East. Signs indicate that the door to the West leads into the Bar, while the door to the East leads into the Restaurant. Pleasant food smells emanate from the East. Your stomache rumbles.

To the North, a small set of steps leads up to the Inn’s Reception desk.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
08:29 / 18.08.05
Examine Restaurant Menu.

(I'm not going in unless they do something vegetarian).
 
 
Evil Scientist
09:38 / 18.08.05
When I get to the Pawn Shop, sit down and start singing about gold.
 
 
Evil Scientist
09:38 / 18.08.05
Whoops, ignore that.
 
 
Evil Scientist
09:39 / 18.08.05
But still sit down and sing about gold.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
10:03 / 18.08.05
There is a board on the wall by the entrance to the Restaurant, announcing the day’s special offer:

Today’s special: Bargain 10 dollah set menu!

Mango with salt and pepper
Roast beets
Ice cream bombe


You sit down for a moment on the carpeted floor, and sing "Gold! Always believe in your soul!" to yourself. Then, feeling self-conscious, you stand.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
10:15 / 18.08.05
Remove my clothes but try and look inconspicuous and then attempt to spell it properly.
 
 
Quantum
10:29 / 18.08.05
Go into restaurant, wait to be seated, remind self to avoid bargain menu.
 
 
Triplets
11:39 / 18.08.05
Perform an action that attempts to show off how quirkily witty the poster is.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
12:04 / 18.08.05
PMT?
 
 
Triplets
12:27 / 18.08.05
Would you like to explain to everyone what that stands for, please?
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
12:34 / 18.08.05
You start to unbutton your shirt but then notice a plaque above the Restaurant door that reads: NO NUDISTS. It's probably for the best.

You enter the Restaurant.

It's a large room, which appears larger because the tables and chairs are mostly empty. There are several large paintings on the walls. The only person currently dining is a man in a t-shirt and woolly hat. He's seated by some large bay windows to the East, which give a view of a street. He is eating from a soup bowl in a very sloppy manner: the napkin he has tucked into his t-shirt is splattered with what looks like purple soup.

There is a swing door set into the wall to the South. From this door, you can hear noises such as plates clinking, pans clanging, liquid boiling, a man shouting and what might be a woman crying.

You wait to be seated.

Time passes.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
12:39 / 18.08.05
Investigate the crying and the shouting.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
12:48 / 18.08.05
When you investigate, regard the man and woman with extreme condescension.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
13:31 / 18.08.05
As well as wondering what kind of establishment needs to put up a sign saying "No Nudists".
 
 
Alex's Grandma
13:37 / 18.08.05
Would you like to explain to everyone what that stands for please

Sure.

'Problems, Ms T?'
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
13:45 / 18.08.05
Too impatient to wait any longer for service in this place, you head South towards the door.

"Hey lady", calls out the man eating soup. "I wouldn't go in there if I was you."

You ignore him and push the door open brusquely.

You are in a kitchen. It is very warm in here, and the air is full of steam and various mouth-watering food smells. To the South is an exit into a yard.

There is a short, rotund man in a chef's hat and apron here. He is red in the face, and brandishing a ladel in an aggressive manner.

You sigh.

"What's the matter?" you ask the chef, in a tone that suggests he is an idiot and a timewaster.

"What's the matter? What's the MATTER?", the chef splutters. "This idiot girl forgot to pick up a key ingredient on her way to work today, that's what's the matter!"

You notice for the first time that there is another person here, half-hiding behind an enormous stove. She too is wearing an apron and a slightly lop-sided chef's hat. She has been crying, but her expression is now one of defiance. She points an accusatory finger at the chef and says:

"Some people are rude on the low though!"
 
 
Tryphena Absent
13:51 / 18.08.05
Ask what the ingredient was.
 
 
Quantum
13:55 / 18.08.05
...and if it's beets offload ours to them then accept the girl's pathetic gratitude.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
13:55 / 18.08.05
Ask to sample the ingredient, even though you are fully aware of the fact that you will have a dramatic allergic reaction to it.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
14:24 / 18.08.05
Hang on a minute! That's the nice young woman you met on the road!

"Was this ingredient by any chance... beetroots?" you ask rhetorically, with a flourish, as you produce the three beetroots from your bag.

The girl rushes forward and takes them from you with much gratitude. She cries out in joy:

"I got the beets!"

Then she promptly begins to chop them finely, and throw them into a boiling pot of water.

"Could I sample some of what you're cooking?", you ask.

"Sorry", says the head chef. "Three beetroots is just enough for the second bowl of beetroot broth which Fred, our best customer, has ordered. I don't know what we'd do if Fred stopped coming here! Go out of business, probably. Anyway", he says, looking you up and down, "You have all the telltale signs of someone who'd have a nasty allergic reaction if they ingested beetroots. But feel free to order anything else from the menu."
 
 
semioticrobotic
14:34 / 18.08.05
Look menu
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
14:59 / 18.08.05
You can't see a menu at the moment.

"I appreciate you supplying the beetroots, but would you mind getting out of my kitchen?" asks the chef.

[NOTIFICATION OF GAME DOWNTIME: I'll be away from my computer for most of the next 16 hours - please can we avoid having more than one or two 'instruction' posts in that time?]
 
 
gridley
15:00 / 18.08.05
Kill Fred.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
15:25 / 18.08.05
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, don't spoil our fun! Can't someone else of your choice be computer for a bit?
 
 
Sekhmet
15:39 / 18.08.05
Scowl.

Reboot teh computer.
 
 
Quantum
16:01 / 18.08.05
Shall we discuss strategy? And perhaps our gender? If our ill-fitting double-breasted suit contains boobs, why didn't Ludacris try and nail us? Why did Fred call us 'lady'? Do we want to pursue the asian babe kitchen assistant? Are we Sebastian O, and if so where can we find a damn tailor? Do we still want those dominoes?
Find out next episode on T.A.G.E!
(I think we should head towards the Bastard Harbour shops after dinner and buy some dominoes with our stax ov kash.)
 
 
Alex's Grandma
16:08 / 18.08.05
Yes, this almost worse than when the whole of Barbelith went down during Big Brother...
 
 
Sekhmet
16:22 / 18.08.05
We are an androgynous bisexual, obviously.
 
 
Triplets
16:35 / 18.08.05
So we're Lord Fanny? Ace.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
16:37 / 18.08.05
Or Desire from Teh Sandman! It's the suit, do you see...
 
 
Triplets
17:00 / 18.08.05
Well, whoever we are we're clearly an alcoholic. I suggest we devote the rest of the game to getting as much booze as humanly possible.
 
 
P. Horus Rhacoid
17:18 / 18.08.05
The hot asian cook intrigues me, and the fact that she keeps quoting pop lyrics, Ludacris style.

Also, booze is good.
 
 
HCE
18:28 / 18.08.05
I object to killing anybody named Fred.

Let's try to get laid.
 
  

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