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Text Adventure Game Emulator #1

 
  

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Regrettable Juvenilia
14:29 / 17.08.05
There is no place called 'Pawnshop' here. Do you mean the P WN SHOP?

You don't have any ice.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
14:58 / 17.08.05
Enter P WN SHOP.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
15:36 / 17.08.05
You limp over to the P WN SHOP and push open the door. A bell tinkles as you enter.

The interior of the shop is dimly-lit, and smells of dust and sour milk. As your eyes adjust, you can see that it is mostly filled with piles and piles and rows and rows of cardboard boxes. There are shelves stacked with more cardboard boxes. A few boxes are open, and inside them, under a layer of dust, you can see miscellaneous items sealed in mylar bags.

Behind an equally dust-covered counter, there is a wizened old man and a hapless young one. You find yourself wondering why this shop needs two people behind the counter, a question that is made more pertinent when the young man, looking shocked, says:

"A customer!"

Much in the manner that you might say "A two-headed unicorn!"

The young man takes off his glasses, rubs them with a corner of his checked lumberjack shirt, replaces them (none the cleaner), then nudges the old man, who looks up and seems to notice you for the first time.

"Do you anything you wish to pawn in exchange for cold, hard cash?", he asks. "We'll keep it secret, keep it safe."
 
 
HCE
15:47 / 17.08.05
pwn the men
 
 
Whisky Priestess
15:50 / 17.08.05
Offer to pawn beetroots.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
15:54 / 17.08.05
You'll have to be more specific about the manner in which you wish to pwn the men.

You offer them the beetroots.

"Sorry", says the young man. "No perishables accepted."
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
15:58 / 17.08.05
examine men.
 
 
Quantum
16:01 / 17.08.05
...and p wned items, looking for dominoes at a good price
 
 
Ganesh
16:05 / 17.08.05
Jump.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
17:43 / 17.08.05
Examine contents of cardboard boxes and Mylar bags.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
18:05 / 17.08.05
The old man is bald, thin and very wrinkled, with a little wispy grey beard on his chin. He is wearing a tweed suit, pink shirt and bowtie.

The young man has messy brown hair, glasses and bad skin. He is wearing a blue and purple checked lumberjack shirt over a black 'disco still sucks' t-shirt.

You root around in a couple of cardboard boxes but find nothing of interest. You consider looking in more boxes, but give that idea up when you hear the old man clearing his throat.

"This isn't a library, you know", he says. "Pawn something, buy something, or be on your way."

You apologise, and then do a little jump.
 
 
Ganesh
18:13 / 17.08.05
Regret giving away crapcomics.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
18:14 / 17.08.05
It's always better to regret something you have done than something you haven't done.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
18:29 / 17.08.05
Pull out gun, demand contents of cash till, safe etc, while threatening to blow their motherfucking heads off!!!11!!!
 
 
Alex's Grandma
18:32 / 17.08.05
In a quiet, dignified and self-effacing manner, obviously.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
19:44 / 17.08.05
You pull out your gun and point it at the old man, figuring that he's probably the senior partner. He looks distinctly unimpressed.

"Oh, please", he says. "I'm a very old man. I've lived a good life, a full life. I'm not scared of dying! The question is, are you?"

You hear a click-clack sound and turn to see that the younger man is pointing a shotgun in your face.

"Now, let's stop all this nonsense, all put our guns away, and do some pawning, huh?"

You all put your guns away.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
19:59 / 17.08.05
Pawn the chess set.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
20:00 / 17.08.05
Take photograph of men in P WN SHOP. Flatter their vanity. Tell them to make love to the camera.

Then offer to play chess with one of them. If they win, they get the set free. If you win, you get any item from the shop, and you get to keep the set.
 
 
bitchiekittie
20:00 / 17.08.05
display chess set
 
 
Ganesh
20:24 / 17.08.05
Pawn a pawn (white).
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
20:44 / 17.08.05
[Two and a half to one, but I'll compromise.]

You take a photograph of the two of them in order to make it clear there's no ill feeling after that misunderstanding with the guns. You now have enough battery power left to take 10 photos.

You get out your chess set and ask them how much they think it's worth.

The old man examines each chess piece through an eyeglass, muttering and hemming to himself.

"Excellent workmanship... Carved from monkey bones, if I'm not mistaken. The board's more or less worthless, of course, but we'll give you 50 dollah for the lot."

The younger man explains that the dollah (plural: dollah) is the local currency, and that 50 dollah is about $100.

"It's a good deal", he says. "Whaddaya say?"
 
 
grant
21:00 / 17.08.05
Shake hands.
 
 
nedrichards is confused
21:00 / 17.08.05
Ask how much a set of dominoes would cost.
 
 
Ganesh
21:12 / 17.08.05
Haggle.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
21:12 / 17.08.05
You shake hands and pocket the 50 dollah.

"I'm afraid I don't have a set of dominoes. I think they sell them at a shop down by the Harbour, North-East of here."

You thank the pair of them. Your stomache is starting to growl.

"Anything else you want to pawn?"
 
 
Tryphena Absent
21:14 / 17.08.05
Leave the shop.
 
 
P. Horus Rhacoid
21:14 / 17.08.05
Ask for appraisal of Eliot's "The Wasteland," autographed by famed rapper Ludacris.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
21:53 / 17.08.05
Have a moment of awkward homoeroticism that alters the status quo of this adventure dramatically.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
21:57 / 17.08.05
"Well, I'm afraid you can buy paperback editions like this in almost any bookstore", says the old man, flicking through the book of poems. "I couldn't give you anything more than a couple of -"

"Woah!"

The younger man snatches The Waste Land from his colleague. "Oh man, you got Ludacris' autograph! He's my favourite rapper! 'Take that and rewind it back! Ludacris got the beat to make your booty go CLAP!' I always bump his records when I'm..." He puts his hand, palm facing down, a few inches above his groin, and thrusts his hips in some kind of hideous simulation of sexual congress. You avert your eyes.

"Oh, for God's sake Brian." The old man puts his head in his hands. He's so appalled that he doesn't even try to stop Brian as he opens the cash register and counts out another 100 dollah for you.

You leave quickly, before they can change their mind. Outside the shop, it occurs to you that in a way you have pwned the men, as you've just made 150 dollah by selling them two things they could have probably got for free from a man who lives just down the road.

You are in the square. North is the Dancing Bear Inn. To the West is the Guardhouse. To the East is the P WN SHOP. There are streets leading North-West and North-East. There is a dry fountain in the middle of the square.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
21:58 / 17.08.05
There's no one in the square for you to share a moment of awkward homoeroticism with.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
22:02 / 17.08.05
Go North to Dancing Bear Inn.

Examine Dancing Bear Inn.

Feel damn thirsty.

(This is kinda like my life)
 
 
Alex's Grandma
22:10 / 17.08.05
And what the hell, go straight in, flush with dollah. S'what it's for, innit?

Announce 'Barkeep, a flaggon of your finest real ale, my good man, if you please!' while remembering where gun is if this doesn't go over too well with the locals.
 
 
Ganesh
22:20 / 17.08.05
Examine dancing bear.

Dance with bear.

Share moment of uninhibited homoeroticism.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
01:30 / 18.08.05
Realise the dancing bear is like Hercules, a bit Seventies.

Say 'Anthony... God you followed me in here... I'm on a quest No don't get that out... God...'
 
 
Tryphena Absent
02:01 / 18.08.05
Take a photo of the dancing bear.
 
  

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