From the an(n)als of TheMoonOnline, I'm gonna try to patch the Big Brother gap by cut & pasting my own posts. Other people have posted funnier, more perceptive stuff, but I'm leaving it up to them to do the same.
Aaaaanyway.
Nina:
So last year
There's a looong history of nudity in Big Brother, going right back to the exhibitionistic clay-painting in Series 1 - but I agree the bloke's-arse-in-an-apron thing is specific to last year.
Nina:
Anthony is copying Jason? Is it simply to give us that special sexual identity bounce back?
I'm not sure. Superficially yes, he's imitating Jason (as each year's housemates become more media-savvy and familiar with the BB mythology, it's not surprising we see the same themes/gimmicks reprised) but the settings are quite different. It was clear from early on that Jason's fragile self-esteem was tied up in his slabs-'o'-barbecue-beef physique, and I think his narcissism was the primary strand of his sexuality - hence his need for a daily dose of (perceived) admiration. The apron thing was an extension of that.
Anthony, however, is harder to read than Jason was, 'fuzzier'. He's younger, though, and less overtly angsty, and I think that, rather than being psychologically/psychosexually crippled (as was Jason, IMHO), Anthony's probably more 'normal' but is relatively sexually inexperienced. He's certainly been cowed by the (comparitively) sexually aggressive Makosi, and although he'd have readily clicked with either Sam or Saskia (both of whom were, naturally, more impressed with his looks than his intellectual or social skills), seemed happier on more neutral/platonic ground.
Given that this seems to be the Year of the Alpha Females, it's interesting that Anthony chose to draw attention to his arse, a classically submissive body-signal (I think Jason's arse-baring was also submissive, but an unconscious wish he'd never fulfil). I suppose Anthony's previous job as a "'70s dancer" (whatever the fuck that is) might suggest that, like Jason, he's happy being a sexual object - but, when the time comes to actual do anything with that beautiful body, he has neither clue nor (much of an) inclination.
Makes me wonder whether he's picked up on Craig's 'crush': either he has, and he's responding (consciously or unconsciously) positively; or he's too dim to read the signals, and is waving his sphincter about regardless. Straight men are rarely as physically relaxed around gay guys they know fancy them - unless they're well used to such situations, or extremely exhibitionistic/narcissistic. I suspect Anthony might just be dim.
Nina:
Craig just hasn't got the will he/won't he edge.
He won't.
Assumed you meant will he/won't he make a move on Anthony? Craig won't, and he'll tell himself/others it's because his parents don't know he's gay (his parents presumably being deaf-blind fuckwits living at the bottom of a very deep hole). In fact, I suspect it's more tied up with internal factors; that he himself has settled himself into the comfortable, Morrisseyesque niche of maybe-gayer-among-straight-boys, playing peek-a-boo around the closet door. I suspect this role is one he's comfortable with, at least partly because it means he a) retains the merest shred of partial mystique, and b) can luxuriate in the exquisite swooniness of supposed unrequited love/lust/'crush' without ever having to consummate it in any way.
He is teh Classic Barbeloid!!!11!!1!!!!!
At the moment, the whole of Team Saskia appear to be improvising Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, with Craig a sweaty Liz Taylor.
Nina:
What I really meant was that, yeah, we already know he won't make a move. There's just no potential fun guessing game joy there. He's crap watching.
Yep. Although it shades into bollocky Barbelith-outlawed discussion of g*m*pl*ns to suggest it, all the "I fancy X and blow hot and cold but do fuck-all about it" stuff does make me wonder whether this year's media-wise bunch, possibly recalling Mollusc Michelle's Hello! deal, are cynically spinning out the will we/won't we element in order to maintain interest/viability as housemates.
Nina:
And anyway he so doesn't fancy Anthony, he fancies Maxwell.
I think he does, yes, but I think there's also that equivocal Morrissey thing of hankering after straight boys, not being quite sure whether he wants to get dirtty with 'em or just be in their gang.
Whatever happened to those abseiling lesbians who invaded the ITN offices and tried to detonate Sue Lawley? Surely one of them would be up for it?
Oh, Makosi, you were always my favourite, but you're making it really difficult for me to defend you.
On Science: "Initially to me he did look like an idiot, making all that noise, but now I can see he makes a lot of sense."
*weeps gently*
Despite claiming to have "mastered the Karma Sutra" [sic], Science claims he doesn't masturbate (because he's a "black Jew", apparently), believes cunnilingus is filthy and is terrified of inadvertently eating a chicken's arse.
(On the Derek/"Malteser-head"/is it racism thang
I guess the Malteser thing ties into black kids being called "chocolate" at school. I'm not sure it's the most racist epithet ever, though, just a tad unexamined...
E Randy Dupre:
Exciting. What's the point, exactly? Why not just hold off on putting them in until you're actually prepared to have them interact with the others? I suppose there might be a thing about having them form their own little group first, seeing how a completely new 'gang', who're already accustomed to each other, will throw the existing group dynamics out of shape, but then it's not exactly like there's any particularly strong groupings in the house anyway.
I agree it's not immediately exciting to have the three newbies tucked away in a secret room, but I disagree with your latter assertion. Team Saskia is a remarkably strong grouping, and really needs some competition - which Kinga the Minga (oh c'mon, you know she's gonna be called that in, like, three tabloid nanoseconds) and Orla(Barbel)ith will readily provide. While I suspect Kinga's somewhat desperate look-at-me tit-exposing will be treated similarly to Lesley's (RIP), Orlaith seems cooler and more human/sussed; I'm intrigued to see how the male members of Team Saskia - particularly Maxwell - respond to her.
Eugene seems an odd choice: must be somewhere along the milder end of the autistic spectrum; taking pride in his alcohol abstinence and virginity is atypical (but then, Craig and Kinga have both made virtues of how repellently friendless they are), and I'm having trouble seeing how he'll click with... well, anybody, really. A poor man's Jon Tickle.
I quite like the Secret Garden idea. Bit of an atavistic race memory thing, no? The idea of Hidden People living unseen in the forest and surviving by stealing from humans. Kinga, Eugene and Orlaith am teh Gobblins!!!11!!!!
It's kinda overshadowed Roberto's departure, hasn't it? Roberto who?
Nina:
Exactly why I wanted them to go straight into the house. The Secret Garden's a nice idea but I'm more intrigued by the human reaction to having more women in the house.
Yesss, but doing it this way means they can a) wait for a suitably dramatic moment, and/or b) add them to the House on a weekday, when the ratings are in need of a boost.
Perhaps the Kleinian breast-obsession reflects the fact that this year's House has been more about Alpha Females and their teams than any sort of Alpha Male structure? Are tits the new cocks?
E Randy Dupre:
Yeah, you're right - Team Saskia are a tight group (with the possible exception of Craig, who I think's liable to turn around and 'bond' with somebody he's not bothered with previously at any given moment). The thing is, that's the only real group.
Yes, it's a formidable power-bloc in terms of nominations. Craig's not as tightly-bound as the others but, assuming he's happy with the role of 3rd Spear-Carrier and occasional butt (ho ho) of the hetboys' jokes, his position will become more established in time.
If a dull finale is to be avoided, the foursome needs to be broken up.
E Randy Dupre:Vanessa's sticking it out with Makosi because she alienated herself from TS from the start and appears incapable of doing a Craig.
I think Vanessa's also passively opportunistic in a dumb, docile kind of way. She tongued Moonpig (Lesleh) because someone else initiated it. She hung out with Craig because someone else initiated. She's Makosi's current confidante because Makosi's initiated it.
E Randy Dupre:
Makosi, I honestly think might have some vaguely g*m*pl*n-related reasons for making it appear that she's chums with Vanessa, and Vanessa only. I can't really get a handle on Makosi otherwise - everything about her appears practiced. There's no *real* feeling of connection between the two of them, on her part at least.
I agree, although I think Makosi's current chumminess with Vanessa is in part a reaction to her partial (and, frankly, ill-advised) estrangement from Kemal, on slightly peculiar "he's imitating me" grounds. I don't think Makosi has a g*m*pl*n in terms of strongly wanting to win the prize money, but I think she's interested in messing with people's heads generally.
I also think she was more hurt by Anthony's perceived rejection/betrayal than is immediately apparent, which probably has some bearing on her relationship with Team Saskia generally.
E Randy Dupre:
Derek and Science are laws unto themselves. They're never going to be able to buddy up with anyone else in there. Kemal too, albeit to a lesser extent.
Yeah, the flotsam and jetsam. Derek's age isolates him; Science's crapulent communication skills and lack of warmth/humour isolates him. Kemal I feel quite sorry for, because he and Makosi were a little unit for a while, and things have deteriorated now (with a little stirring from Vanessa) to the point where they might seriously consider nominating each other.
Of course, if Makosi establishes relationships with the SG3, that might bring Kemal back into the fold. I think he'd get on well with Eugene (who's likely to find little in common with the hetboys, and will recognise a fellow intellectual - or what passes for one in the BB House), be slightly in awe of Orlaith and could go either way on Lesleh v2.0.
E Randy Dupre:
So there's only really the one solid gang of people. Unless these three really bond with each other while they're kept seperate, then I don't think that's going to change drastically. If one of them is getting the boot before they're mixed in, then there's even less chance.
Yeah, I was hoping they'd chuck all three of them in rather than just two. Take your point that Team Saskia's unlikely to be that destabilised (although I'll be interested to see where Maxwell's cock takes him), but the new arrivals might help an alternative Team Makosi come together.
E Randy Dupre:I'm not sure that I agree that the introduction of Orlaith would cause massive ructions within TS, because that doesn't seem to be why she's there - hers was by far and away the least showy "put me in - I'll fuck shit up!" housemate preview tape out of all of them in the last couple of years - and I don't see Saskia really being the type to feel threatened by another woman. She's quietly happy with herself, Orlaith's quietly happy with herself - no need for any great ego battle. Saskia's also obviously having some problems keeping Maxwell at arms' length - there's been some horribly uncomfortable stuff during the last couple of weeks - and if his head turns, then I don't think she'd be all that bothered.
Ah, but Maxwell's kinda the key to Team Saskia, in that Anthony would basically follow where he led, as would Craig. If Maxwell's head is turned (and that depends on whether Orlaith's got the blokeychickskillz to back up the looks), Team Saskia may drift or fragment.
E Randy Dupre:
Kinga probably doesn't matter, because Kinga will be out asap.
Initially, I thought this - and she continues to irritate the fuck out of me - but her almost-immediate attempts to surreptitiously turn Eugene against Orlaith have been quite impressive, in a Craiguesque way. She's clearly a mess of self-doubt (despite all the tit-flashing, she was the only member of the SG3 who didn't shower naked last night) but, if she survives into the House, she might become powerful simply through gossip and bitchery a la Craig. And then be crucified by the crowd when she leaves, in a week or two.
E Randy Dupre:
Eugene'll probably gravitate towards Makosi - he's not just Tickle, but a strange Tickle/Cameron/Fagbangle hybrid - but as I can't see her being in for too much longer it won't make much difference to anything.
You reckon Makosi's gonna be out soon? Nahh, I can't see it - unless she's up against someone very popular. The housemate who gets the secret missions usually grows in stature with the viewing public, and even if Makosi's nominated (and I reckon it's gonna be Derek and Science this time around), I think she'll stay. Presumably the new housemates, when they enter the House, will feel an initial debt of gratitude, and will hold off nominating her for a while.
E Randy Dupre:
I think that's what I was trying to get at - that I can't see this changing the existing relationships within the house to any significant degree, and that TS still isn't going to be facing an opposing group that can match its strength.
I'm not sure they're as unassailable as all that. If all else fails, I think Big Brother will contrive a reason to put at least one of them up for nomination. I doubt they want the second half of the run to be dominated by those four sitting around on the settees being mutually congratulatory.
E Randy Dupre:
Elsewhere, those damn Davina interviews just get worse, don't they? Any opportunity for the evictee to reflect in any meaningful way is utterly destroyed by her fawning over them and the careful selection of audience members who'll cheer at whatever's on the screen. Do you think that any of your behaviour within the house was questionable, evictee? No, of course you don't. Why on Earth would you, when nobody in this room does?
Roberto's was like that, but she was slightly sterner with Lesleh, repeatedly pushing at the 'bullying' angle until the binbag-clad Moonpig eventually admitted that yes, her treatment of Sam did amount to bullying.
E Randy Dupre:
Makosi seems to be doing her best to squeeze herself into Moonpig's shoes. She's not making it as obvious to the others that she's the leader of her little group or the instigator of all the bitching, which admittedly could save her from being nominated by TS.
...
Makosi leading a huge slagging session aimed at Saskia.
...
It all depends on nominations, naturally, and also how this is edited for the highlights show, but if Endemol play fairly (always doubtful) and she doesn't change tack fairly soon, then I think Makosi's going to be thrown out with a fair old portion of the votes, whenever she's up. The biggest difference between TS and the rest is that TS contains two strong team players/leaders - Saskia and Maxwell - whereas Team Makosi isn't a team at all and has just the one factor temporarily holding some very disparate elements together - it's Team Everybody Who Isn't In Team Saskia. The ones who haven't been able to form firm relationships. And I'm absolutely hating Makosi's arrogance - she's dropped right out of favour here over the course of the last few days. TS may feel smug and secure, but not like they've stepped over the line between self-belief and self-importance yet.
Ahh, I'd forgotten how the Big Brother dynamic can change in an instant! The last 24 hours have seen a dramatic clash between the Alpha Females, the eviction of poor Kinga ("I never get picked for anything") and the introduction of another wild card in the form of Orlaith. This year, it's alllll about the women, innit?
Although neither Makosi nor Saskia came out of last night's spat particularly well, I think Saskia came across worse. What with this, Scabgate and Max and Anthony being suspended from nominating, it's shaping up as a potentially disastrous week for Team Caucasian Smuggery. A week ago, Saskia's position seemed impregnable, but now it seems she really could be up for nomination - and, depending who she's up against, she could well be out.
E Randy, I agree with your characterisation of Team Not-Saskia, but the common factor of not-in-the-main-team seems, increasingly, to be surprisingly unifying, particularly after Saskia's verbal attack on Makosi. It's striking, also, that, as Vanessa put it, "it's all the ethnics together" - in which context Maxwell and Saskia's occasionally dubious comments (Scabwell's last gem: "she should go on Big Brother Zimbabwe; she might last longer there").
I'm finding Makosi infuriating but extremely watchable, more so than the Team Smug foursome. You may not feel they've crossed the line into "self-importance" (Craig possibly excepted), but Saskia's becoming increasingly 'regal' in terms of commanding her minions, and the infrequent Send 'Em Back comments are faintly unpalatable. Saskia now realises she overstepped the mark, but it may be too late to fix the damage done in terms of her popularity in and outwith the House.
Meanwhile, Maxwell's practically shagging Orlaith's leg...
Who'd have thought "you are nothing like Jordan" would be employed as an insult?
Nina:
Makosi is treating Kemal really horribly. Cow.
Yes, she is. Still, the fall of the Saskian Empire and the introduction of newbies may allow for the formation of embryonic new alliances. It's interesting that, in the first week, Mary was a cow, Saskia challenged Mary, Saskia seemed heroic, Mary was evicted - and now Saskia's a cow, Makosi challenged Saskia, Saskia will probably be evicted. Now Makosi's becoming cowlike, who's gonna challenge her?
Loving Craig's "but I'm the slavebitch 'round here" strop. Poor Craig the Sniveller: he finally manages to inveigle his way into the House's straight white elite (quite an achievement for an archetypally self-loathing poof), only to find it ain't all that elite anymore. Not only has the Saskian Empire fallen, but Anthony's spunking his pants over Orlaith and having tea made for him by Eugene.
Poor, poor Craig. It's all turning to ashes. Why does everybody have to leeeeeeeeave?
In the garden, Saskia's panicky guttedness was plain to see, particularly in her little tirade about the unfairness of being evicted in Week 5 ("nobody remembers the person who gets evicted in Week 5") - all rather suggestive of Michelle-type g*m*pl*nn*ng. No Hello! deal for poor ol' Saskia, though, unless she gets cracking with some MaxSex pronto. Even then, it's kinda been done, last year - and the timing is such that she's fooling no-one.
Didja see her sitting sulking/seething silently on the bed with Craig, while Maxwell tried desperately to curry favour with Orlaith? Assuming Saskia's out (and it's very much looking that way), how will the House dynamic shape up next week? I can't see Anthony having too much difficulty re-integrating, but how about Maxwell? And how will limpetty Craig get by without his Rock?
Apparently Orlaith's commented that "I can't wait 'til one of them goes" - so she's getting stuck into the Team Makosi (which'll be pretty much everybody soon) bitching. Hmm...
Nina:
Well he's a hairdresser so k-list fame means better clients and more money. Not a bad business to get into if you enjoy your work.
True - and Craig must enjoy something. Would you really go get your hair done by him, though? If it weren't 1983 and you weren't Limahl.
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