I want Steven Segal playing Steven Segal as the new badie. Special moves would include: 1)Having a hard walk, 2)Saying hard things, 3)Being hard to kill, 4)Looking hard, 5)Never letting anyone else be harder than him, and 6)Making it look like hes not hard by saying girly spiritual tantric shit just to create a false sense of security masking the fact that he is in fact hard, maybe. Mary Jane would leave Peter for him and Peter would be taken on as his pupil, then near the end of the film after a huge sex scene with Black-Cat and Spider-Man, Peter would realise that he still loved Mary Jane even though she is a selfish conceited evil genious, and reveal to Steven Segal that he is in fact Spider-Man, and Steven Segal would be like 'Oh shit', 'I was just gonna step on you, and crush you like the spider you are, but I just remembered that I'm a buddhist, and dont take life', then spidey would kill him. And Venom would show up and fight Spider-Man during the end credits, whilst peaple are leaving the theater. |