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Urrrrrrgggggh... need to vent.
I spend a good deal of time on another message board - the same one I referenced in the Feminism 101 thread. The demographics of the board are at least 75% female. There is one poster, male and middle-aged, married with kids - I'll call him Bob - who goes out of his way to turn every single thread into yet another episode of The Bob Show. I usually completely ignore him, which at time is very hard to do given that he's extremely obnoxious, but when he's not getting the level of attention he wants, he steps up his game and posts something offensive, and then I get mad. Typically it's in the form of some very bad joke, very often as his wife's expense, and again, sometimes I even ignore those - the only reason being because virtually NO ONE backs me up and then I get chastised for overreacting and taking the thread offtopic.
In Feminism 101 I mentioned calling him out for making a homophobic slur. The actual comment made was that he'd gotten his Goldendoodle groomed and now the dog looked like a "faggid [sic] poodle." One or two people took my side on that being an extremely offensive comment, and the rest of them rallied to his side, saying it was just a joke and they all laughed, etc etc. To my chagrin, even the one openly gay (male) member of the board came to BOB'S defense and said it was just a joke and he wasn't offended so no one else should be.
After that Bob started a thread for the express purpose of apologizing to me even though he didn't take back what he said and explained that he uses humor to heal his depression. I told him I didn't accept what was not in fact an apology at all. That's when he unloaded on me for having no sense of humor, and managed to make it clear without actually saying the word that he thought I was just a bitch ("I'm going to kiss my wife when she gets home, because I thought SHE was a tough cookie...").
So today, in a thread about how many cues/commands your dog knows (it might as well be said, it's a dog training message board) he makes the witty quip, "Interestingly, I have taught my wife all these cues/commands too." At the same time, another female poster (thank god) and I (fresh from Feminism 101) expressed that we were not amused by this "joke." Immediately the troops rallied - well, I thought it was funny, you're overreacting, if you have a problem email the moderator, etc. My comrade in arms folded right away and again I have been left standing there holding the humorless bitch flag. I really want to flame the living fuck out of this guy in public... I don't think it's fair that he gets to go about his merry way making sexist jokes all day while I have to complain to the moderator privately and most likely be told "just ignore him." |
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