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22:07 / 10.07.06

Only DM can know his true intentions.

Take that how you like.

19:50 / 11.07.06

Ganache, over in BB

If I were a Dublin-based prostitute with similar facial features to Aisleyne, I'd be considering early retirement about now. Or at least giving up the peroxide.

So horrifunny.

10:53 / 12.07.06

I came out as an FCUK. Who'd have guessed?

Whisky P gets lucky, hee hee.

ONLY NICE THINGS

16:00 / 13.07.06

It may not be obvious, but I actually don't read anything on the boards. If it ever seems that I'm on topic, that's entirely based on guesswork, ESP, and the use of a complex algorithm which searches for the frequency of letters in a given thread and extrapolates from these data what the twenty or so most likely topics are. Upon running the algorithm, my computer selects one of the topics at random and then speaks it to me, after which I press a series of keys. I don't read my own posts while I post them, or even while I type them. This is due to the fact that I am a macaque.

id entity's secret is out.

17:18 / 13.07.06

Id's not doing so badly, for all that.

21:42 / 13.07.06

Lack of brain often impedes the development of ideas, and then writing them down is also a nightmare

Mathlete states the obvious in a very funny way.

Spyder Todd 2008

15:14 / 15.07.06

Dupre X recounts his favorite childhood experience growing up with Haus:

Oo, Haus, do you remember when we stayde out all night in the tent in your back garden? We had fish fingers and potato waffles for tea and we ate too many hundreds and thousands and I nearly sicked on the lawn but you said it's okay and you held my hand and wiped my brow down with a wet towel and we told ghost stories and laughed about when Amy Jenkins called the teacher 'mummy' and I LOVE YOU AND WILL NEVER ALLOW ANY MOTEHRFUCKER TO HARM A HAIR ON YOUR HEAD. STAB. STABKNIFEYSTAB. NOW WE'LL NEVER BE APART AGAIN.

19:27 / 15.07.06

I don't think we ever got to that point did we? After all, Morph did keep disappearing. Now we discover that he was doing so to fight cars because he thought he was Bruce Willis.

Lady sums up one man's struggle with the drive-by derby.

12:08 / 17.07.06

Haus on whether the username ‘fat foolish finger’ is offensive to fat, foolish people.

I always hated it when they called me reductio ad absurdum in the showers after games.

Tannhauser’s Schooldays, coming soon to a bookshop near you. Surely.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

13:41 / 17.07.06

The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Morpheus quotes Yeats. Is anyone else getting this?

Ex

14:18 / 17.07.06

...the Falcon cannot hear Duncan Falconer?

14:25 / 17.07.06

14:28 / 17.07.06

Wish I could find that awesome Darwyn Cooke pic from New Frontier with same caption.

Whisky Priestess

15:34 / 20.07.06

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!
Look, all I'm saying is that you didn't like a fight atop a waterwheel (!) and that the child inside you has probably died since the last film.

wonderstarr (miss)
All I'm really saying is that Verbinski has violated my memories of "Black Pearl" and everything it stood for. Remember 2003? The sense of wonder? We can't ever get that back. I don't know how old you "Chest" fans are but for me, "Pearl" is bound up with my childhood. The early 2000s were a really special time, and "Pearl" is part of a year when I think I really found part of myself. Saddam captured... Jacko arrested... Concorde's last flight... it was a time of disappointment, disillusionment. A generation of POTC fans ~ my generation ~ learned something that year about what it was to be grown-up. And in "Pearl" we had a new hero to replace Jacko, an adventure wilder than any supersonic flight. An escape from the grim political times and the hard lessons in adulthood. What better place to go for our dreams to take shape than Disneyland. Who better, to teach us, than a trusted mentor like Mickey.

Now Mickey's taken off the mask, and with "Chest", we find he's ratted out the values of 2003. "Pearl" was made out of love. The sequel? You'll find this "Chest" is all about the "gold", "me hearties".

miss wonderstarr lives up to hir name with a tear-jerking nostalgia trip for the halcyon days of 2003.

paranoidwriter waves hello

15:53 / 20.07.06

Mister Six, here:

Saying 'send it to me electronically' says to me 'you're a wizard I have no idea what you're doing at your desk all day but please help me.'

I love this wizard image and I'm going to use it whenever possible. Indeed, the next time someone asks me how (e.g) I intend to research something, I'm going to look at them wide eyed, wiggle my fingers and say in a mystical register:

"...Electronically...Oooo..."

And then I'll duck.

01:20 / 22.07.06

Flyboy:

It's too late, I'm afraid. He who was once the noblest of all Autobots now sits around all day listening to violent gangsta rap as a result of a simple lick of paint.

Dead Megatron:

And Megatron is listening to Cansei de Ser Sexy.

What have we become, my old foe?

It's all about the context, but christ if that didn't make me chuckle.

Regrettable Juvenilia

21:32 / 22.07.06

It's a good example of Dead Megatron and the point being strangers yet again.

23:45 / 22.07.06

Still amusing, however. Credit where it's due.

23:48 / 22.07.06

I get the point. I just can't miss the joke

14:54 / 25.07.06

Yes, thank goondess for geography! Dragon

Thank goondess indeed. What was that Flyboy said about missing the point? We really need to encourage the use of sarcasm punctuation to avoid this sort of thing.

19:26 / 25.07.06

%Oh, do you? Really? Yeah. That sounds like such a good idea. Well done, you.%

00:29 / 28.07.06

toksik in the Lilly Allen thread in Music, waving a stick at Alex's Grandma's Pete Doherty worship:

couldnt you at least mention lilly alen in your post, dude?
even if it is to say "i cant be arsed to talk about lilly allen, but here's some other stuff i want to say to you all"?

i mean, go for your life, obviously.
just tap the topic on the shoulder as you run by, maybe?

At 2 in the morning that's teh funny.

09:56 / 31.07.06

Part miss wonderstarr (the kisses and cuddles anyway, so best,) part Lee Child, why am I not reading these books and laughing for five long minutes frequently?

++UPDATE++

For those of you who love Jack, but are too afraid to read his books.

Two great moments in "Without Fail" so far:

1. A series of threats on the Vice-President's life. Tensions in the Secret Service and the FBI. No leads. Finally, the bad guys make a call, asking for Reacher. The agents are desperate to keep them on the line, so they can attempt to trace it.

Reacher takes the phone.

"I want to talk to you," says a voice.

"Well, I don't want to talk to you, asshole!" growls Reacher, slamming the phone down.

xoxoxoxREACHERxoxoxoxo

Later... another office in the FBI. Another conference, another tense gathering as the combined forces of America's security try to figure out who would want to kill the V-P.

Reacher is silent.

"Reacher?" someone asks.

"I was just thinking about Dostoevsky," says Reacher.

I hope it is not fear which prevents me.

miss wonderstarr

12:28 / 31.07.06

Thanks, you have just encouraged me to add to that thread.

Spyder Todd 2008

14:32 / 31.07.06

Flyboy utters wisdom the likes of which no man has ever before conceived:

Look, you know how if your infant son starts speaking Latin, you should just shoot him in the head right there and then, to save time and trouble later?

I don't know what to say in reply, but he is clearly right.

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

21:47 / 31.07.06

*=Ask a grown-up who Henry Rollins is. Listening to 'Damaged' will put hair on your chest.

Phex throws down the kid gloves in Music.

ONLY NICE THINGS

18:04 / 02.08.06

As to the criticism that exclusion is sexiest

Let's face it, xk has cracked the reason we have an applications process.

18:13 / 02.08.06

Best. Typo. Ever.

18:18 / 02.08.06

ugh...I should have waited to post to that thread....

I plead jet lag.

14:38 / 08.08.06

mindfulness should be in every action, including thought and especially masterbation.
Sin (prev. M.A.R. prev Wolfangel etc)

So that's why the Buddha has such a dreamy expression.

14:52 / 08.08.06

I love "ESPECIALLY masturbation."

Whisky Priestess

10:40 / 16.08.06

Bagsy me first with Miss Wonderstarr's brilliant piss-take of the jaw-dropping moment on Big Brother last night when Pete managed to imply that because he'd had a dream where his dead friend told him he'd win BB, if he didn't win there was probably no heaven (and, QED, no God).

PETE: It's going dark, Mister Dickie sir. *koff wankers! 09011 32 33 11 koff* Will there be angels, Mister Dickie, in 'eaven?

RICHARD: Yes, Pete. If you believe it, they will be there.

PETE: I spect... *koff* I spect 'eaven is very bootiful, Mister Dickie? *miaow text PETE to 84444 koff*

RICHARD: [muses fondly] Mm, I've had some wonderful nights there. O, you mean the Christian heaven of the afterlife? Yes, all your dead friends will be there, Pete.

PETE: Mister Dickie... I fink if all the children out there who love Pete voted now... I might get to 'eaven. *koff (Calls cost 50p, mobile and other network rates may vary) wankers!*

RICHARD: [tearful] Let's hope all the little children vote for you, Pete! Please, anyone watching now... do you love Pete? Please vote for him. Do it for Pete.

PETE: *wankers!*

Sheer class.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

10:44 / 16.08.06

Another vote for wonderstarr's genius here.

10:58 / 16.08.06

Thirded.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:05 / 16.08.06

Although Ganesh's come-back line Don't die, Pete! I BELIEVE IN SWEARIES! was pretty fucking sweet too.

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