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barbequotes

  
  

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Ticker
17:14 / 13.06.06

Les Triplettes de Belle Aive:

But I know a guy who can trump this thread. My mate's brother has so many keys and doo-dads he's fashioned a kind of metallic Hydra. The kind that stalked doors early in the Jurassic. If I can I'll post it here. It is mighty.

I WANNA SEE IT!!!!
 
 
Lama glama
18:31 / 13.06.06

the once and future matt: It smells like pee in my office and I can't find the fucking source. Fuck.

Haus: Have you checked your penis?

It's smellementary!
 
 
matthew.
18:36 / 13.06.06
That was a fast Barbequote.
 
 
Lama glama
18:40 / 13.06.06
I'm a fast barbequoter. Or else I'm a sycophant and getting on the good side of the Barbelith Grand Censor seems like a good idea.
 
 
matthew.
18:48 / 13.06.06
Well, I'd find this a lot funnier if it really didn't smell like fucking urine in my office.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
20:03 / 13.06.06


Do you work in a children's paddling pool?
 
 
Ganesh
21:02 / 13.06.06
Or a piss club?
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
10:17 / 14.06.06
Do you squirt soap into people's hands, turn the tap on at the sink for them, and then offer them a towel with which to dry them? Do you offer them lollies? Take out all the coins they put in your little tray that aren't pound coins? Have you ever been punched by Cheryl Tweedy only to then fabricate additional claims of racial abuse against her?

Are you, in fact, a toilet attendant?
 
 
Quantum
10:37 / 14.06.06
Sn00p in the scientific temple thread goes from You can’t compare science and magic, it’s like comparing a pencil to jazz music.
...to...
Magic is just the new toaster.

in a single post. Magic= New toaster. Got it.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
10:40 / 14.06.06
Ganesh: Or a piss club?
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
11:29 / 14.06.06
Legba reveals the inner thoughs of horses about humans:

Horses everywhere are of course wishing for their backs to be burdened once more by the arses of tubby humpbacked Dowagers. In fact some have been seen to craft substitute arses from polystyrene and wear them around, but, says Dobbin, 4, "It's just not the same."
 
 
Triplets
11:32 / 14.06.06
Bed Stewart Head in the paranoia? me? Key 101 thread

This is a little like some Derren Brown-esque mind trick thing, Stevely - first passwords, now keys - next it’ll be all Which pocket do you keep your credit cards in, barbelith and So, what’s your pin code and Just how do you prefer to deactivate the burglar alarm when you come home? Pushing buttons or turning keys? A low-snark 101 thread about which techniques lithers favour.
 
 
iamus
15:36 / 14.06.06
can populating the grounds of my future mansion with techno birds be all bad?
goodness, i hope not.


tokisk in the Lyre Bird thread. It's not so much the quote itself, as the whole bloody genius idea that deserves recognition.
 
 
Quantum
12:43 / 15.06.06
I don't take offense, but I think it may sometimes put other people off, and not just flameworthy ass hats.

Doc Checkmate gives us the excellent expression 'Flameworthy Ass Hats' which I love.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
13:58 / 15.06.06
It also helps if you talk about that one time you sent a Goetic demon against the trig teacher who gave you a B-, and the demon totally killed him. Then you popped over to Chesed for a pint.

The quoteable Doc again, on how to obtain such a fine article of headgear.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
09:26 / 16.06.06
Come on Mikey, think! We didn't evolve all this way just to give up now!

This is but the latest of the times Evil Scientist has bechortled me with his witfulness.
 
 
Triplets
11:09 / 16.06.06
They can't stop the booing though.

They can't stop the signal.

Evil Cyantist show us his Whedonface.
 
 
Evil Scientist
11:15 / 16.06.06
Aww schucks. Two in a row? I'm blushing.
 
 
Quantum
18:02 / 16.06.06
My problem withe the consensus Barbelith view on magic is that while their conclusions are being drawn from experience, nobody seem's to be using a base sense of rationality and actually trying to understand thesse things. Sn00p

Aha. Ahaha. Ahahahahah... *wipes tear from eye*
The consensus Barbelith view, hoboy. On magic! Never mind the rationality bit, that alone had me giggling.
 
 
Triplets
12:31 / 20.06.06
11 days since a Stoatiequote? Shocking.

The joy of Who is, for me anyway, the fact that content-wise you really never know what you're gonna get next- will it be action? Spooky? Funny? Some shite with a giant Bertie Bassett? You just don't know
 
 
Mourne Kransky
09:43 / 22.06.06
Demented fantasy from Mike Modular:
Deey Thorty Fowar: Imogen, Mikeey and Leesa have been impregneeted by facehuggas. Ashleeen has decided to teeak off and nuke 'em from orbit, as it's the only way t' be shuwa...

Even on page seventy, the standard is still high on the BB7 thread.
 
 
electric monk
12:42 / 22.06.06
MacReady's critique of 'The Hills Have Eyes' blesses us with this:

If you've got mutant cannibals in a film and you're still boring me, then you're fucking up.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
18:26 / 22.06.06
Sleazenation makes a rather shocking discovery:

FOR FUCK'S SAKE I went to the toilet in a pub to find little goals in the urinals. And suspended from the crossbar, tiny footballs.

Hir vehement reaction was perhaps intemperate, but entirely understandable...


I JUST WANT TO PISS WITHOUT MORE CUNTING FOOTBALL CRAP
 
 
All Acting Regiment
19:38 / 22.06.06
Oh wow. This is from someone called Twig in the 01d 2000AD gems thread.


Rogue Trooper -

It always bothered me that Rogue's three dead mates were called Helm, Gunner and Bagman and hence their biochips (or whatever) were installed in his helmet, rifle and backpack respectively. It was just TOO convenient.

I think it would have been a very different story if his mates had been called Anklechain, Handkerchief and Dildo.
 
 
The Falcon
20:08 / 22.06.06
Basically, Pato Banton's torn up the rulebook in this thread - to startling effect.

Particularly tasty interchange, a 1-2 if you will, with him and Gumbitch there, and the goalscoring moment overleaf, with perfect comparative dissection of Asda adverts.

(I'm also enjoying mod requests with oblique footie mentions, but you can't read them, no.)
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
20:24 / 22.06.06
Well yes.

Because being totally off-topic is great, isn't it? Especially when you're doing it in a thread where you know it's gonna piss people off? It's in no way plain bad manners, is it? It's STICKING IT TO TEH MAN!!!!1!1!!1!

Rage used to tear up the rulebook a lot. It was really fucking annoying.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
20:30 / 22.06.06
Have to agree with you there totally, Stoatally. Panto's been getting right on my tits for a while in that thread, which reaction is presumably what ze seeks. Mr Falconer is displaying greater tolerance than I can be arsed to show little Bunton. It's a thread about people who are fed up to the back teeth of the Weltmeisterschaft, innit?
 
 
Ganesh
20:32 / 22.06.06
Oh my sides. The sides of my kerrumbling reality tunnel.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
21:27 / 22.06.06
In a thread which has already compared the World Cup to Nazism and football supporters to nuclear waste, where's the line one should not cross?
 
 
The Falcon
21:30 / 22.06.06
ymmv, obvs.

No-one said anything about reality tunnels, but let's bring up humatons too, why not? Because, well, mmm... machines get wound up, do you see?!?

How do you all feel about flyboy's contribution there? I think that's been very funny too, but arguably - as is his way - more abrasive.
 
 
Ganesh
21:34 / 22.06.06
In a thread which has already compared the World Cup to Nazism and football supporters to nuclear waste, where's the line one should not cross?

Perhaps a separate thread is required for this sort of question. Personally, it's the multiple posts based on the saaaame joke that's twisting my ballbags (the swine, etc.)
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
21:35 / 22.06.06
Flyboy's was funnier, FWIW, but generally the tragedy of the Conversation is that it's hard to make accusations of threadrot stick. More worrying, perhaps, that Boboss did almost exactly this joke about Comic Books about two years ago - is there some sort of Brighton gag heirlooming service?
 
 
Ganesh
21:40 / 22.06.06
No-one said anything about reality tunnels

Rage did - and Stoatie mentioned Rage. It's a reference to a reference. Sorry.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
21:47 / 22.06.06
In a thread which has already compared the World Cup to Nazism and football supporters to nuclear waste, where's the line one should not cross?

Having made LOADS of "ironic" football=Nazism jokes yourself, I dare you to make the "IT WAS A JOKE" excuse. Even though it clearly was. I just wanna see you do it.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
21:52 / 22.06.06
Um, the point is that that's the excuse I presume the person who originally made the... oh never mind.
 
  

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