BARBELITH underground
 

Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.


barbequotes

 
  

Page: 1 ... 3839404142(43)4445464748... 81

 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
14:25 / 20.01.06
Sax-
It will stop at Westminster and a cadre of terrorists disguised as Brazilian electricians will pile out.

Smoothly-
You mean they’re outlaw José whales?

Awwwwww!! The pure, clean sting of a pun!
 
 
modern maenad
14:26 / 20.01.06
Legba

Once I've collected a large enough dose of headsick in my SicSac, I put a brick of a kebab in there for weight, and then throw it in a canal of vodka.

What a wonderful plan. I think I'll be lobbing mine into a wine lake....
 
 
Axolotl
08:02 / 21.01.06
Smoothly's pun was a wonderful example of the art. Just fantastic.
 
 
Dead Megatron
17:15 / 26.01.06
But you know those Zen buddhists. Sitting around on their asses all day....

Tuna Ghost, on a Temple's thread on tyhe search for the true self...
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
08:43 / 27.01.06
I nominate the entire 'Jack De Nfield redesigns the DC Universe' thread. Especially the Green Arrow discussion.
Incidentally, his hat should be in the shape of Green.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
11:58 / 27.01.06
God, I so agree. My face was a rictus of barely suppressed giggles all the way through, but especially when I read this post by Barbelith's own prodigal son, Mr Qalyn:

HOly shit, no! He aimed himself at his hat while it was still on his head and he is still wearing himself in the hat that he hit with himself WHILE HE WAS STILL WEARING HIS HAT.
 
 
Triplets
10:52 / 28.01.06
I'm going to put forward the four responses to Oddman's Ebay thread. Genius.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
11:09 / 28.01.06
Oh hell yeah.
 
 
Evil Scientist
07:16 / 31.01.06
Seeing smileys makes me want to spread smiles to everyone I see, with a craft-knife. Big flappy smiles.

Legba Rex, saying what we're all thinking.
 
 
Spyder Todd 2008
14:03 / 31.01.06
I concur.
 
 
Sekhmet
17:03 / 01.02.06
From the same thread, courtesy of the neverending kaleidoscopic matt:

My tactic was to out-Haus him (i.e. be calm like pond, be reasonable like pro bono attorney, be passive-aggressive like ex-girlfriend)


You are learning, Grasshopper.
 
 
Dead Megatron
20:29 / 01.02.06
this is America, the land of bullshit lawsuits

fuckbaked
 
 
matthew.
20:42 / 01.02.06
Yes! Barbequoted. My dream is complete. Seppuku time.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
21:05 / 01.02.06
Ahh, that makes more sense. Girlfriend in a comma (I know, I know, it's serious).

Ganesh. It's a bit complex.
 
 
iamus
00:11 / 02.02.06
Mmmm. I second that one.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
14:29 / 02.02.06
More juxtapositions. The Seldom Killer, talking about things you like apart from physical characteristics:


Not sure if being in porn could count under GGMs criteria though.


Directly underneath (matron), pants brigade says, describing hir perfect ladyxperience.


when she experiences something exciting/wonderful/new and her eyes get all huge.

Timing. It's the secret of comedy.
 
 
Triplets
14:51 / 02.02.06
i just want to be held! in a full nelson!!

-from same threadage: toksik
 
 
All Acting Regiment
23:20 / 02.02.06
No! I am HeteroSpartacus!

From the same goldmine.
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
16:02 / 03.02.06
Evil Scientist, in the anti-hetero slash pro-hetero slash anti-queer slash pro-queer thread:

Although I don't involve myself in the sexuality-themed threads myself I do occasionally read through them (purely for the articles you understand) and don't see much in the way of pro/anti feeling towards any form of consensual sexuality.

Purely for the articles.
 
 
Mistoffelees
08:48 / 04.02.06
I don´t know , this may be offtopic. I´m quoting myself from a thread in a different borard. But it made no sense posting it in the cool quotes thread. It was a discussion about people jumping from great heights, that I wanted to share with you:

Another poster: "with enough time, I imagine that anyone would eventually try flapping really hard, just to rule it out..."

Me: "I actually did that on my first and only bungee jump. I was too afraid to fall face first like advised, so I simply took a step forward and fell "standing up". The crowd must have really liked the way I looked "doing the penguin" while plunging down about 150 feet."
 
 
All Acting Regiment
05:11 / 06.02.06
Qalyn, the badgers don't think that's enough.

They really don't.

They'd like you to eat a lemon.

I don't know why.


Stoatie
 
 
Shrug
19:03 / 06.02.06

Noir
(prev. Consumption is a form of self.)


Life.

This gift I opened up
today, today, today.
It spilled out of the box
away, away, away.
A gift so precious
it slipped through my fingers.

And now all I see is a stain.



Alex's Grandma, the return.
(prev. Alex's UFO abduction incident)

Life

This gift I opened up
today, or maybe yesterday, I can't be sure;
was unexpected, precious,
and addressed to someone
who moved out years ago.

Fucking Royal Mail.




From the Daily Poetry Thread.
 
 
Withiel: DALI'S ROTTWEILER
19:13 / 08.02.06
I can beat that. Instead of speakers, my stereo's tied to two dogs.

Legba Rex, in the "Laptop Bags Made of the Flesh Of Your Enemies" thread.
 
 
Chiropteran
12:03 / 09.02.06
Haus acts out an encounter between the Fathers 4 Justice League of America and their feminist-nemesis SUPERMANHATER:

"So, Mr. Kent, you decided that the best way to draw attention to your plight was to... dress as Superman?"

"Well, not exacty. I was dressed as Superman anyway. You see, I am -"

"Your personal life is not the concern of the court, Mr. Kent. What is the concern of the court is that you then threw Mr. Brainiac into low earth orbit, having immersed him in molten lead from a smelting plant you casually decided to uproot and transport from Vermont. Let me ask you, Mr. Kent... is this the sort of conflict resolution you intend to teach your son?"

"Um."
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
12:04 / 10.02.06
Dead Megatron:

Middle-class adult white straight males should have more sense of humour and take themselves less seriously just as much.

Dead Megatron, shortly beforehand:

I tired of this world of bricks and stones, of blades and fire, of fingerpointing and self-righteousness. Hell is always the other, ain't it?

I just needed to joke around with my friends a bit (and I do consider all of you folks friends, even if not very close ones), but they won't let me, will they? When I felt pissed about their attitude, I came here (the miserable thread) to vent a little, instead of extending the argument more and more, instead of trying to ruin the joke for others. I even tried to move on, make jokes about other stuff, but they kept doing it, they kept bringing the subject.

And they way they talk, it sounds like the entire thread is about that one subject, when I made a single post about it, with no intention to come back to it. Heck, if they said they were hurt and asked in a polite (or even funny) way, I would have erased it, without giving it a second thought. Now, there's a whole page about it, and I can't make that go away.

And I'm fighting the fight too, make no mistake. Their fight as well as mine. That doesn't mean I'll let the Dark take my soul. I'll gaze into the Abyss and laught at its utter emptiness, its unrelenting cold. For one speck of light will fill it all and make it be no more. I just wish more people felt like that too. Do they?


You're not alone.

 
 
Dead Megatron
12:08 / 10.02.06
Haus, as much as I like being barbe-quoted, maybe it's best to let the whole subject die out. I surrender
 
 
Jack Fear
12:15 / 10.02.06
This isn't about winning and losing. It's about learning.
 
 
electric monk
12:27 / 10.02.06
Stoatie comes clean:

"Indiscriminate searching" gives me the horn.


The spit-taken coffee on my keyboard, however, will not.
 
 
Dead Megatron
12:31 / 10.02.06
This isn't about winning and losing. It's about learning.

I learn a lot when I loose. As I just did. I learned I was wrong to make the joke, can you forgive me, please?
 
 
Dead Megatron
12:33 / 10.02.06
Anyway, the parapgraph about the Abyss is cool, though, ain't it?
 
 
Quantum
13:30 / 10.02.06
I learn a lot when I loose

I'm quoting you because that's unintentionally the funniest thing I've read so far today.
 
 
Dead Megatron
13:36 / 10.02.06
It seems I'm a lot funnier when I'm trying not to be.
 
 
Jack Fear
13:37 / 10.02.06
There's a lesson in that, I think.
 
 
Dead Megatron
13:46 / 10.02.06
I'm sure you do
 
 
Bastard Tweed
18:45 / 10.02.06
Aaaannd - SCENE!

Okay, now can any member of the audience give us a place, an occupation, and a reference to an esoteric fifteenth century manuscript?
 
  

Page: 1 ... 3839404142(43)4445464748... 81

 
  
Add Your Reply