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barbequotes

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16:21 / 23.11.05

doctorbeck tells it like it is...

"what the hell else do you suggest they do with mothra and godzilla? rehabilitiate them into society? give them citizenship and minority rights to stomp all over tokyo AGAIN? no way bub, monster island, it's the only language they understand."

12:07 / 24.11.05

"Don't rush into work, kids. It fucks you up."

Sax in the Bad Student thread. So true, so true.

12:17 / 25.11.05

Xoc does untamed headsick and rage on the Moral Maze:

I listened to it too. Then I had got so angry that I had a stroke and died, cursing Melanie Phillips as I fell, lifeless, to the ground. But such was my hatred for La Phillips that, later that same night, I returned from the dead, fuelled by my fury, to stalk the London streets until I found the swish pad where Phillips resides. Then I smote her, righteously, and ate her brain. Gosh, it felt good.

12:51 / 25.11.05

From the same thread, Ex, brilliant:

Michael Buerk was handling the words 'homosexual' and 'gay marriage' as though they had eightythree sets of inverted commas around them and poo all over them. I've heard him reporting on genocide and sounding less pissed off.

Cowboy Scientist

07:33 / 27.11.05

Sax, talking about metafiction:

(...)Leaves me cold, really. I don't want the fact that I'm reading a work of fiction uppermost in my mind when I'm doing so. I want to be drawn in to the wonderful world of make believe and leave my monotone world of endless rain and buttock-acne at home.

ONLY NICE THINGS

07:59 / 28.11.05

Electric Monk, responding to the supposition that one cannot describe magic in Earth language:

My six month old defines the quality of his meal by the quantity of his poo. He feels any attempt to use mommy-and-daddy language trivializes it.

09:32 / 28.11.05

Absolutely no-one achieves the realisation that they're a 5D squid rotating in n-space.

weddingXbrunt points out a key flaw with Kurosawa's "Seven Samurai".

18:18 / 28.11.05

Suffice to say that if Crowley had invented the 60s, I'd have more waiting staff.

Haus nips a rotbomb in the bud in the Marx thread, inexplicably evoking Wodehouse. In my mind.

Keith, like a scientist

18:47 / 28.11.05

Jack Fear with some insights on "Is Something Wrong With Barbelith?"

We're being replaced. It's a natural process. The people have spoken, and the casting directors are putting out the call for "a young Jack Fear" or "a Ganesh-type." They've revamped the franchise, redesigned the sets and the costumes, and we're reduced to being Fat Jimmy Doohan, making the occasional embarrassing guest appearance on The Next Generation for the sake of providing some sense of continuity.

18:51 / 28.11.05

Mmm.

Cowboy Scientist

04:17 / 29.11.05

Yeh, here comes Ultimate Barbelith. Brace yourselves.

Regrettable Juvenilia

10:26 / 29.11.05

...For shit goatees.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

10:32 / 29.11.05

...For shit goatees.

Prepare to repel boarders - with goat shit?

All Acting Regiment

15:09 / 01.12.05

Comedy now dictates that I will be walking home and be mauled by a hippopotamus or something.

Phantastic Phox is Mr Nature.

08:04 / 02.12.05

Jack Fear in Fashion and Design, advising on best way to carry off the denim jeans and jacket combo:

To accesorize: $200 boots, greasy hair, blank expression, ironic trucker cap and a shotgun in your fucking mouth.

pointless & uncalled for

11:08 / 02.12.05

So when you google "wrongcock," you also get the word "munter" a lot.

Persephone, in a thread about growing up.

23:42 / 02.12.05

Gingerbop, on the back of a postcard of the Mona Lisa, in a parcel to me which also contained two packets of sweets:

"She would have been happier if she'd had some sweets."

05:43 / 05.12.05

Any holiday that means you can get pissed on sherry in the middle of the day without having to hide it from your family is all right by me.

It's not about capitalism, and it's not about the baby Jesus either - Loomis really... understands the true spirit of Christmas.

A

05:58 / 05.12.05

Actually, I believe it's a fortified wine, not a spirit, but let's not split hairs.

Our Lady Has Left the Building

15:11 / 05.12.05

In the Happiness thread...

modern maenad Also I am happy 'cos I've spent the morning taming the monstrous thesis beast

Which pleases me in that childish 'sounds like a euphemism for something dirty' way.

All Acting Regiment

20:27 / 06.12.05

Stoatie, games affecting reality, funny:

Oh, and The Sims- totally. When I was thoroughly immersed in the first one I was constantly picturing the bars over my head- "I need food THIS much, I need to go for a piss THIS much, I need to have THIS much more fun"... that was a bit weird, I'll admit.

09:08 / 07.12.05

I touched her hand. Then she pulled me into the book, and we had to run from some bastard in a motorcycle helmet wielding a spanner...

--- Bizunth over in the Zatanna thread

13:36 / 08.12.05

HairyAngel, on breeding better sorcerors:

"I suppose you could start by breeding for patience in the face of repeated failure."

It's a beautiful sentence. Read it aloud and see.

13:50 / 08.12.05

'Twas Mordant, acksherly. But yes - beauty.

14:27 / 08.12.05

Why yes, it was. Sorry MC!

21:32 / 08.12.05

Kaizer John on Coldplay

They are a bunch of eunuchs.

Duncan Falconer on Coldplay

Coldplay would be better if they were called Cosplay.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

21:57 / 08.12.05

I get into Barbequotes with STEALTHINGS!

22:06 / 08.12.05

Over in comics, Haus writes an interesting and informative post...

Tesco, if I recall correctly, stands for TE Stockwell Company. It was actually named after an employee of the owner, who is the father of Dame Shirley Porter, disgraced Tory grandee. It is currently I believe the UK's most successful superstore.

To which Paul Rauschen responds...

i thought tesco stood for quality at unbeatable prices?

I'm barbequote mad today.

03:29 / 12.12.05

Practically all of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe Thread is worth barbequoting
(Sorry I couldn't decide)

11:56 / 12.12.05

Monk and Gypsy Lantern

The city of Barbelith is described as having 2 kinds of residents: one half of them are mute, the other are disembodied voices, endlessly screaming and carrying on.

Why does that sound familiar?

09:42 / 13.12.05

Seth in the Temple:

Imagine my surprise when I found out that my girlfriend's new breasts were actually robot alligators!

And so soon after the Melt Banana gig, too. What a busy life Seth leads (to the vast benefit of Barbelith).

All Acting Regiment

10:32 / 14.12.05

M: I think I'd like a black leather jacket just like Neil Gaiman's...made out of Neil Gaiman's skin.

H: The scary thing is, I can't tell whether that's because you don't like him. or because you like him just that leeetle bit too much...

TeH kOmBiN3d 3nTiTy now known as MONKHAUSEN in the Gaiman thread

13:24 / 14.12.05

Gypsy Lantern at his best in the Temple. My favourite bit is bolded:

I dunno, it seems like a bit of a retrogressive step to celebrate a "Pagan Christmas" without Christ. Essentially, the festival is about the rebirth of the light at the darkest point of the year, whether you look at it through a pagan or a Christian lens. I don't really mind personifying that light as a Christ child, because it incorporates 2000 years of history rather than pretending it never happened. It identifies the magic inherent in the Christmas festival as it is celebrated in the west. Where I grew up, it's all about feasting and drinking and partying in the grimmest winter months. Setting a light in the darkness. That ten pints of lager and whisky chaser IS the Baby Jesus. I find its more productive to look at the Christian overlay on these festivals and traditions as a part of the narrative, and take them along into your understanding of the core Mysteries. Much like how Catholic Saints are incorporated into Santeria, etc... Rather than trying to hark back to some idealised pagan golden age where the impact of Christianity on western culture never happened.

13:37 / 14.12.05

Drat. I was about to quote that bit.

14:20 / 14.12.05

MONKHAUSEN

Zounds! I've been assimilated!

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