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Big Brother 2006

 
  

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Regrettable Juvenilia
19:23 / 22.05.06
"I am teh Prisoner! Be seeing you! Eleven! Twenty-three!" AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.
 
 
Ganesh
19:28 / 22.05.06
I'm just like the Prisoner! In a could-walk-out-at-any-point way! But I won't! Because actually making a fucking decision without involving everybody would make me stop existing!

Etc.!
 
 
Ganesh
19:28 / 22.05.06
Pete should never get a job in bereavement counselling.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
19:32 / 22.05.06
Wow. Nikki's "who fancies who" monologue in the DR was afuckingward-winning.
 
 
Ganesh
19:39 / 22.05.06
"I want to go home to my council house... put on a DVD... maybe be ill... I'm fed up being a National Insurance number..."

Shahbaz is the BizarroWorld Morrissey.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
19:41 / 22.05.06
"Because I am straight. I am straight." Just keep telling yourself that George.
 
 
Ganesh
19:42 / 22.05.06
Straight as a Bizarro arrow.
 
 
h1ppychick
19:44 / 22.05.06
Oh man, I am loving Pete in drag, then with smeary eyemakeup in the pool. He is surprisingly androgynous for a boy with an enormous cock.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
19:44 / 22.05.06
Big Brother has become live pre-slash for me. I need treatment.
 
 
h1ppychick
19:48 / 22.05.06
oh please can they parachute in a celebrity, one with an Uzi and their sights on Shahfuckingbaz?

Jee-sus. Or Allah. Whichever.
 
 
Ganesh
19:50 / 22.05.06
I still think Glyn's the most androgynous person in there. Sezer's "like an angel" comment's on the money: there's something quite pre-Raphaelite about that not-boy-not-girl face. Sweet.
 
 
h1ppychick
19:51 / 22.05.06
How is it possible for anyone to be quite so socially insensitive and maladroit? What were the selectors thinking? Are they expecting to improve on EmmaVictorgate?
 
 
Ganesh
19:52 / 22.05.06
Looks like the highlights show has edited out the bit where Shahbaz says, "sucky sucky, ten dollars" to Lisa, presumably because it's both misogynist and quite horribly racist.
 
 
Cherielabombe
19:53 / 22.05.06
It's hard to believe he's one of the oldest people in the house.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
19:53 / 22.05.06
Is Richard the designated "hold-people-back-from-twatting-Shahbaz" guy?
 
 
h1ppychick
19:55 / 22.05.06
I totally love Lisa. Oh but poor Pete. He looks quite upset.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
19:58 / 22.05.06
DEAR GOD SOMEONE KILL SHAHBAZ.

I can't believe you haven't all kicked in your TVs if you've been watching since Thursday. I only really started watching this afternoon, and fucking hell...
 
 
h1ppychick
19:59 / 22.05.06
That was really excellent. Dawn has a very calming way with her and is very good at getting a point across in a rational and clear way.
 
 
h1ppychick
20:00 / 22.05.06
Do they do no psychological screening at all, these days? How can such an unbalanced narcissist be allowed to take part?
 
 
Cherielabombe
20:01 / 22.05.06
Dawn is great. I *do* kind of feel sorry for Shahbaz, but his behavior just seems so unhinged. How did he manage to get into the house? Oh, wait...
 
 
Tryphena Absent
20:01 / 22.05.06
Yeah, it's a shame that Shahbaz can't hear a fucking word that's said to him.
 
 
Jack Vincennes
20:01 / 22.05.06
Stoat: Is Richard the designated "hold-people-back-from-twatting-Shahbaz" guy?

He's going to have trouble with that, when they all team up.

h1ppy, it will be worse for Pete when he finds out Shahbaz has stolen all the food and cleaning products.
 
 
Ganesh
20:02 / 22.05.06
Social ostracism's pretty tough - but he has earned it. Problem is, like a toddler banished to the Naughty Step, he's then forced to simply up the ante. We've had refusals to eat, willy-flashing, hiding all the House's food and claiming, "I came here to die", I fully expect the next step to be an actual suicide attempt, or at least some impressive self-harm. Either that or goading someone into physically assaulting him.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
20:02 / 22.05.06
The combination of evil genius speech and inability to open a bin bag was quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen in ages.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
20:05 / 22.05.06
I *do* kind of feel sorry for Shahbaz, but his behavior just seems so unhinged.

Yeah, but it's not anyone else's job to deal with that. It's like watching Barbelith dealing with trolls, only faster.
 
 
Ganesh
20:05 / 22.05.06
How can such an unbalanced narcissist be allowed to take part?

Because too many balanced narcissists makes Jack a dull game.
 
 
Jack Vincennes
20:06 / 22.05.06
And I suppose everyone comes off a bit like an unbalanced narcissist on an audition tape.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
20:06 / 22.05.06
Just think of the sweet relief when he's gone.
 
 
h1ppychick
20:09 / 22.05.06
Heh. That was actually a flip phrase, but when I just looked 'narcissist' up it seemed eerily accurate. Ganesh, do you think Shahbaz has any sort of true personality disorder, or do you just think that he's a bit of a cunt?
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
20:10 / 22.05.06
Christ, between this and WoW I'm not gonna be seeing daylight for a Manson-like length of time, am I?
 
 
doglikesparky
20:10 / 22.05.06
The combination of evil genius speech and inability to open a bin bag was quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen in ages.

Wasn't it? How we laughed...
As if the housemate's won't spend 30 seconds working out he hid the food and then another 30 seconds finding the huge great silver box in the garden.

Is it just me or was there a hint of Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka going on when Pete put that wig on?
Maybe with just a hint of Sandra Bernhardt for good measure.

Last night I hated Nikki, tonight I adore her.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
20:15 / 22.05.06
Is it just me or was there a hint of Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka going on when Pete put that wig on?

YES! Thank you... it was bugging me what it reminded me of. That's it.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
20:16 / 22.05.06
Perhaps Craig from last year arranged for Shahbaz to be in the house, in order to make himself look better. Jesus. The fact that he so desperately clings on to the idea that he is victimised in the house because of his racial/sexual identity, whilst indulging in racist and sexist abuse himself, AND still labours under the delusion that "perhaps the country will progress when they see someone like me on TV"... The mind boggles.

Even allowing for editing, I wonder if it was in fact Dawn's conversation with him that pushed him over the edge: everything she said was so reasonable, giving him no room for his woe-is-me bollocks, that in the end he was left with no option other than to go totally batshit tonto, yesssss precioussss, let's see how they likesssss it now!

Poor Pete - there's no reason at all for him to feel sorry for Shahbaz, but that's not going to stop him. He seems to be one of those people who just gives everybody the benefit of the doubt. I've really changed my opinion of Pete - he's great! Half the time he looks like the Crazy Frog, but with the wig on he looked like Jagger and in the beret he looks a little like Richey Edwards - so suddenly the rock star stuff starts to make a bit more sense - he just needs a new stylist. Perhaps that could be Lisa. Who is also ace - she really does some awesomely! Her technique reminds me of the Granny in the film Ping Pong.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
20:17 / 22.05.06
Something decidedly Gollum-esque about his attempts to hide the food - 'When the precious is gone they will talk to Shahbaz, they will like him again, oh yes' etc.

Four days in, and in terms of bare-faced twattery, Shahbaz is already eclipsing even Craig at the height of his powers. It is, to be fair to the man, genuinely ground-breaking stuff.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
20:20 / 22.05.06
Sorry, cross post with Fly there - You have to be quick off the mark in this game!
 
  

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